04/06/2004
I Read ARENA Homme Plus...
...so you don't have to.
This is an oversized, twice a year, 10 lb. glossy paperweight; beautiful photographs, beautifully printed. Why read it? To keep up with all the trends priced way beyond any fathomable modicum of reality of course. And I can't forget the hundreds of unblemished male models blinking in the springtime light like so many lost fawns.
But the real question is, what is there to learn from the Spring/Summer 2004 issue?
+ Underwear's out this season according to Gucci's recent men's footwear ad.
+ Denim takes its name from cotton imports from Nimes, France (de Nimes) and the term "jeans" was arrived at via cloth from "Genoa", Italy. A thrilling factoid to savor all spring.
+ Pastels are the shit this season. Mint shit.
+ Modified wife beaters are in. But only if they're $375.
+ John Varvatos new fragrance may smell like your mom's armpit, but they'll still snatch it up on Robertson Blvd. like chameleons at a mealworm picnic.
+ Soccer players are the sex objects du jour. Unless there's a motocross racer around.
+ GAP clothing is back, thanks to new designer Pina Ferlifi. Thanks, we still won't buy it.
+ TRON-inspired leather jackets may make you look incredibly cheesy.
+ Classic white sneakers may be in, but they bring back incredibly bad childhood memories of when the mean kids tried to step on them and get them dirty.
+ Hotels: Minimalism out, fantasy rooms in. I can live with that.
+ A "strong preppy spirit is blowing in to men's fashion." I thought somebody farted.
+ Hot collectible fashion books: Kim Jones by Luke Smalley; Calcio by Mariano Vivanco for D&G. Ebay here I come.
+ Tokyo is the new battleground for designers. Hiiiii - ya!
+ Mert & Marcus are the most original fashion photographers working today. Hands down.
+ Hieronymous Bosch needs to sue Diesel.
+ This fall look for big belts, big boots, big casual coats, big scarves, and big dicks.
Coming soon: VMan Cliffs Notes.
Posted 3:01 AM EST by Andy Towle in Print Media | Permalink
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Thank you, Andy, for this valuable public service. Way to take one for the team!
Posted by: chrisafer | Apr 6, 2004 9:30:17 AM
Brilliant! It's almost like you read it to me in bed.... so comforting. Yes, I agree... this is a valuable public resource.
:-)
Posted by: redmonkey says... | Apr 6, 2004 10:24:33 AM
ermm
the Gucci's ad link doesn't really work
cuz it seems the ad is not showing ..
or maybe the site was overloaded
Posted by: Kit | Apr 6, 2004 1:07:37 PM
i like that he reads it to us shirtless. can't wait for VMan!
Posted by: brent | Apr 6, 2004 7:18:17 PM
Change of pose?
Posted by: Jimmy | Apr 6, 2004 10:38:24 PM
All Hail Andy. Thank you, thank you for the fab recap. Now I can spray on my Varvatos, put on my new wife beater under a Versace pink polo, wear my mint green shorts with a wide white belt, throw on a pair of fuzzy boots, grab my new baby blue Louis man bag, fly to Tokyo and be assured that I won't look or smell like a fool!
Posted by: MDB | Apr 7, 2004 12:19:59 AM
Yeah, Andy, I like the other picutre better. You look naked. While we are dreaming of fashion, we can dream of you. ha
Posted by: Floyd | Apr 7, 2004 10:33:29 AM
put the other pic back up beeotch, your audience demands it! :)
Posted by: matty | Apr 7, 2004 12:14:57 PM
then again....that early morning hike sans dormir up runyon canyon was great. shopping and a hike up a canyon....is that all l.a. has to offer?? i guess it's all about channeling, er, i mean programming....domo arigato and dawn of the dead.
Posted by: rrr | Apr 7, 2004 12:57:11 PM
Why the change of photo?
Hey, thanks again for the hotel tips. I chose the Avalon. See you at the Abbey?
Posted by: Eddie | Apr 7, 2004 1:28:14 PM
something to make me laugh....
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Posted by: M. Rashid | Dec 17, 2004 2:00:46 AM