This image from the National Hurricane Center is flying around the web faster than 165 mph, and some analyses, like this one from the comments on AmericaBlog, have been way too thorough:
“Despite the direction in which the storm is heading, I don't see it as Texas getting fucked at all. To me, the dick is being inserted into the opened sphincter formed by Florida and Cuba, with the islands south of the Bahamas delineating the glans and the western tip of Cuba forming an unsightly and distracting hemorrhoid.”