Homecoming Gets Really, Really Gay
In a decision that delighted their fellow classmates and threw the Illinois Family Institute into a fit of disapproval, two openly gay students have been chosen as homecoming king and queen at Buffalo Grove High School outside Chicago.
Much is being made of the fact that a jock and cheerleader are school royalty but the roles seem to be reversed. Jen Wohlner is the athlete and Ryan Cooperman is the cheerleader. Said Cooperman, "Like, you know what? I'm gay and if you have a problem with that, I really could care less." Wohlner added: "I'm proud of who I am. Not just that I'm proud of being gay, but I'm proud of all that I am."
This show of tolerance stands in sharp contrast to a report earlier this week of a Colorado high school cheerleader who was forced off his team due to anti-gay taunts.
Of course the conservative family groups had something to say about the unusual homecoming court. Pete LaBarbera had a warning for gay kids and adults that approve of them.
"Something that was once sort of universally regarded as a sin, is now becoming sort of cool in high school. It's easy for an adult to say, 'Oh wow, I'm doing the compassionate thing by telling this teenaged boy that he's gay,' but they won't be there when the boy becomes a man and comes down with HIV or hepititis B and C."
Unfortunately, LaBarbera doesn't seem to understand that straights can get those diseases too, and there actually are some compassionate adults out there. Just not at the "family" associations.
Good For these kids. Hope lives in Buffalo Grove. Pete does not sound as if he really cares about families does he? As morons like Pete continued to speak what they say is so extreme that in time they will be on the margins of society.
Posted by: Donald | Oct 20, 2005 9:27:14 AM
Y'know, even though I increasingly think this country (and maybe the world) is going straight to hell in a handbasket (god, I sound like my parents now)...one thing that continues to give me real hope for the future is the fact that more and more gay kids are able to be who they want to be, and neither they nor their peers think it's any big deal. Yes, I know: there are still lots of places where kids don't, and can't, enjoy that kind of freedom. There's still tons of work to be done. But the trend is clear, and it's accelerating.
I think back to when I was in high school, and whether I could have ever been as forthright about being out as these kids were. Not in a million years. I was so terrified. And it just makes me so happy for these kids that they won't have to go through the same fucked-up closet that I and many of my generation (oops, channeling parents again) did.
Posted by: Glenn | Oct 20, 2005 9:28:52 AM
This makes me happy.
And I know that a militant towleroad gay or two will be annoyed that I'm going to say this, but that lesbian's dress is CUTE. I fully support lesbians in cute dresses.
Posted by: Dean | Oct 20, 2005 11:31:50 AM
That's great! Buffalo Grove is about 15 minutes from me. Had not heard this story, but saw the previews before the news. The NBC affiliate had some “shocking news in the suburbs” type lead-in.
Posted by: Mark | Oct 20, 2005 11:33:11 AM
I support cute dresses on anyone who wants to wear one.
Yay for them!
Posted by: david | Oct 20, 2005 1:53:09 PM
I resent the implication that the adults who are supporting these kids (and I happen to be an adult who wholeheartedly supports Ryan) will not be in their lives once they reach adulthood. I will always support Ryan in everything he does. (and no I am not a family member just a family friend). I am very proud of these kids for everything that they have accomplished. While being gay in 2005 may be a bit more accepted socially than it was in the '80's it is not by any stretch of the imagination easy. I can not tell you how happy I am that these kids are accepted and well liked in their High School. Cheers to the Principal and the school district for recognizing that gays and lesbians need and deserve support too. Oh yeah, by the way, I contracted Hepitis B in high school from a straight guy, so give me a break, only gays and lesbians get diseases?? Huh...
Posted by: Elea | Oct 20, 2005 2:30:04 PM
PS, also notice that Pete (like all sexist and heterosexist folks) doesn't even mention the lesbian student. All he cares about is the boy. Why? Because he wishes he were that boy? Probably. Or maybe it's that whole Queen Victoria thing of outlawing male homosexuality but not female homosexuality "because it doesn't exist." Homophobia and misogyny, hand in hand, as always.
Anyway, screw Pete. Those kids make me so happy I could burst.
Posted by: JOE | Oct 20, 2005 2:35:26 PM
This story was on the news here in Chicago recently. NBC5 did an expose on it.
Posted by: Sven | Oct 20, 2005 4:22:39 PM
This story was on the news here in Chicago recently. NBC5 did an expose on it.
Posted by: Sven | Oct 20, 2005 4:24:01 PM
This is the kind of heartwarming, delightful exception that the gay cretin who wrote the recent cover story on gay youth for "Time" tried, for Judy only knows what reason, to paint as more the evolving rule.
It also gives me an excuse to rant about the Dr. Phil show last night. I watch him just enough to know that, however well-meaning he is, and, more or less accepting that being gay is not a choice, he is decades behind in more specific attitudes. He referenced the "Time" article about gay youth in his introduction and changing attitudes, but the first bad sign was illustrating it by digging the Ellen "I'm gay!" scene out of moth balls. His first guest was a 30-yr. old lesbian who would alientate Middle America or her appearance alone [age-inappropriate fads in hair style--butch cut/Jello red with gltter--and makeup--enough red eye shadow to color a Christo installation]had lots of baggage but, worse, was totally unable to get Phil to understand how alien her mother and sister [also on] typically make her feel by not wanting to talk about her relationships the same way they do their own and other heterosexuals. They complained about her "flaunting" her sexuality which Phil seemed to think was a discomfort that the lesbian just had to accept. In trying to illustrate to Phil what I call the "heterosexual imperative," the way manifestations of heterosexual attractions and relationships are not just ubiquitous but "the norm," she pointed out that his wife is a prop [she didn't use the term but well could have] on the show. He sputters something indicating she's being ridiculous and the shaking head and facial expression of Mrs. Phil, to whom the camera has cut, indicates she's even more shocked at the idea that there is something different significant about that. Phil gives the mom a total pass even though she is repeatedly shown talking about homosexuality being a choice, a sin, etc., proposing the he and she select a Christian counselor that the two siblings can consult about their rivalries that are exacerbating. Strike 1.
Then he brings up the "ex-gay" movement and introduces a believer and non believer. He briefly seems to be on the right track [tho the text caption under the believer identifies him as ex-gay with no appropriate quotation marks. The non-believer is quite articulate, but surely the homophobic or unsure viewers were more persuaded by Msssss. Believer who basically just opened her mouth and broadcassssst a tape of ridiculoussss "conversion" propaganda: he insisted homosexuality is caused by a bad relationship with your father and/or other serious trauma such as being molested as a child and "there are hundredssss of thousandsss, probably millions of us" who have converted--none of which Phil, DOCTOR Phil, challenged. He did respond--when Ms. Believer claimed a leading formerly pro gay psychiatrist has new research proving that people can convert--that the research is criticized for methodological flaws, BUT lets the nut get away with saying that the only critics are gay. Phil does try to get him to state directly whether or not he is still attracted to men but lets the snake [no, I do NOT have ANY sympathy for these people--not the leaders anyway] slither away. Strike 2.
The ballgame was totally lost to the troglydytes, led by lead pitcher Phil, in the next segment which introduced a couple who fear their 4-yr. old son is going to turn out to be gay because he doesn't just love to play with high heels and jewelry but SAYS he wants to be a girl. At this point, Dr. Phil turns into a gentler but no less stupid and reactionary version of Dr. Laura. While there is much truth to his saying that it's too early to determine anything lasting about their son [although there is research to the contrary about children who are so focused on identifying with totems of the opposite gender, his word choice, e.g., "a problem" suggests that he thinks being transgender is wrong, should be fixed, etc., [wait a couple of more years and if it's still a problem he'll recommend someone] and suggests repeatedly trying to get the boy to accept playing with "male" toys.
The ironic thing is that he did so much more poorly than his mentor, the Divine Oprah, who I have come to hate as a fake saint homophobe [as recently as a week ago she was still playing "wouldn't ja wanna hump him, girls?" nonsense games about her gay pet poodle Nate [where's the "but ja can't--he only likes BOYS!!! God luv him."?]. She did a show about transgender children last year that was brilliant, touching, sensitive, insightful, damn near revolutionary--and certainly was for her given how retarded she is about the much more simpler topic of homosexuality.
Phil closed with some relatively good remarks about gay family members that still could have been interpreted as putting the burden on those gay to tolerate their family's treatment of them as something less. He would never accept the idea that he should "work around" any family members rejecting his pert little wife. This guy is HUGELY popular and trusted, and that sound you heard was the calendar going slightly backward for us yesterday in much of America.
Posted by: Leland | Oct 20, 2005 4:32:14 PM
This is the kind of heartwarming, delightful exception that the gay cretin who wrote the recent cover story on gay youth for "Time" tried, for Judy only knows what reason, to paint as more the evolving rule.
It gives me an excuse to rant about the Dr. Phil show last night. I watch him just enough to know that, however well-meaning he is, and apparently accepting that being gay is not a choice, he is decades behind in more specific attitudes. He referenced the "Time" article about gay youth in his introduction and changing attitudes, but the first bad sign was illustrating it by digging the Ellen "I'm gay!" scene out of moth balls. His first guest was a 30-yr. old lesbian who would alientate Middle America on her appearance alone [age-inappropriate fads in hair style--butch cut/Jello red with gltter--and makeup--enough red eye shadow to color a Christo installation] but, worse, was totally unable to get Phil to really understand how alien her mother and sister [also on] typically make her feel by. e.g., not wanting to talk about her relationships the same way they do their own and other heterosexuals. They complained about her "flaunting" her sexuality which Phil seemed to think was a discomfort that the lesbian just had to accept. In trying to illustrate to Phil what I call the "heterosexual imperative," the way manifestations of heterosexual attractions and relationships are not just ubiquitous but the smug "norm," she pointed out that his wife is a prop [she didn't use the term but well could have] on the show. He sputters something indicating she's being ridiculous and the shaking head and facial expression of Mrs. Phil, to whom the camera cut in her regular perch in the audience, indicates she's even more shocked at the idea that there is something different and significant about that. Then Phil gives the mom a total pass even though she is repeatedly shown talking about homosexuality being a choice, a sin, etc., proposing that he and she select a nonjudgmental Christian counselor that the two siblings can consult about their rivalries that are exacerbating the situation. Uh, Phil, your idea of a Christian and their idea of a Christian have already been proven miles apart. Strike 1.
Then he brings up the "ex-gay" movement and introduces a believer and non believer. He briefly seems to be on the right track [tho the text caption under the believer identifies him as ex-gay with no appropriate quotation marks]. The non-believer is quite articulate, but surely the homophobic or unsure viewers were more persuaded by the free rein given Msssss. Believer, now a priest, who basically just opened her mouth and broadcassssst a tape of ridiculoussss "conversion" propaganda: he insisted homosexuality is caused by a bad relationship with your father and/or other serious trauma such as being molested as a child and "there are hundredssss of thousandsss, probably millions of us" who have converted--none of which Phil, DOCTOR Phil, challenged. He did respond--when Ms. Believer claimed a leading formerly pro gay psychiatrist has new research proving that people can convert--that the research is criticized for methodological flaws, BUT lets the nut get away with saying that the only critics are gay. Phil does try to get him to state directly whether or not he is still attracted to men but lets the snake [no, I do NOT have ANY sympathy for these people--not the leaders anyway] slither away. Strike 2.
The ballgame was totally lost to the troglydytes, led by lead pitcher Phil, in the next segment which introduced a couple who fear their 4-yr. old son is going to turn out to be gay because he doesn't just love to play with high heels and jewelry but SAYS he wants to be a girl. At this point, Dr. Phil turns into a gentler but no less stupid and reactionary version of Dr. Laura. He baldly fails to make immediately clear the difference between homosexuality and being transgender. While there is much truth to his saying that it's too early to determine anything lasting about their son [although there is research to the contrary about children who are so focused on identifying with totems of the opposite gender, his word choice, e.g., "a problem" suggests that he thinks being transgender is wrong, should be fixed, etc., [wait a couple of more years and if it's still a problem he'll recommend someone] and suggests repeatedly trying to get the boy to accept playing with "male" toys.
The ironic thing is that he did so much more poorly than his mentor, the Divine Oprah, who I have come to hate as a fake saint homophobe [as recently as a week ago she was still playing "wouldn't ja wanna hump him, girls?" nonsense games about her gay pet poodle Nate [where's the "but ja can't--he only likes BOYS!!! God luv him."?]. She did a show about transgender children last year that was brilliant, touching, sensitive, insightful, damn near revolutionary--and certainly was for her given how retarded she is about the much more simpler topic of homosexuality.
Phil closed with some relatively good remarks about gay family members that still could have been interpreted as putting the burden on those gay to tolerate their family's treatment of them as something less. He would never accept the idea that he should "work around" any family members rejecting his pert little wife. This guy is HUGELY popular and trusted, and that sound you heard was the calendar going slightly backward for us yesterday in much of America.
Posted by: Leland | Oct 20, 2005 4:41:32 PM
This is the kind of heartwarming, delightful exception that the gay cretin who wrote the recent cover story on gay youth for "Time" tried, for Judy only knows what reason, to paint as more the evolving rule.
It gives me an excuse to rant about the Dr. Phil show last night. I watch him just enough to know that, however well-meaning he is, and apparently accepting that being gay is not a choice, he is decades behind in more specific attitudes. He referenced the "Time" article about gay youth in his introduction and changing attitudes, but the first bad sign was illustrating it by digging the Ellen "I'm gay!" scene out of moth balls. His first guest was a 30-yr. old lesbian who would alientate Middle America on her appearance alone [age-inappropriate fads in hair style--butch cut/Jello red with gltter--and makeup--enough red eye shadow to color a Christo installation] but, worse, was totally unable to get Phil to really understand how alien her mother and sister [also on] typically make her feel by. e.g., not wanting to talk about her relationships the same way they do their own and other heterosexuals. They complained about her "flaunting" her sexuality which Phil seemed to think was a discomfort that the lesbian just had to accept. In trying to illustrate to Phil what I call the "heterosexual imperative," the way manifestations of heterosexual attractions and relationships are not just ubiquitous but the smug "norm," she pointed out that his wife is a prop [she didn't use the term but well could have] on the show. He sputters something indicating she's being ridiculous and the shaking head and facial expression of Mrs. Phil, to whom the camera cut in her regular perch in the audience, indicates she's even more shocked at the idea that there is something different and significant about that. Then Phil gives the mom a total pass even though she is repeatedly shown talking about homosexuality being a choice, a sin, etc., proposing that he and she select a nonjudgmental Christian counselor that the two siblings can consult about their rivalries that are exacerbating the situation. Uh, Phil, your idea of a Christian and their idea of a Christian have already been proven miles apart. Strike 1.
Then he brings up the "ex-gay" movement and introduces a believer and non believer. He briefly seems to be on the right track [tho the text caption under the believer identifies him as ex-gay with no appropriate quotation marks]. The non-believer is quite articulate, but surely the homophobic or unsure viewers were more persuaded by the free rein given Msssss. Believer, now a priest, who basically just opened her mouth and broadcassssst a tape of ridiculoussss "conversion" propaganda: he insisted homosexuality is caused by a bad relationship with your father and/or other serious trauma such as being molested as a child and "there are hundredssss of thousandsss, probably millions of us" who have converted--none of which Phil, DOCTOR Phil, challenged. He did respond--when Ms. Believer claimed a leading formerly pro gay psychiatrist has new research proving that people can convert--that the research is criticized for methodological flaws, BUT lets the nut get away with saying that the only critics are gay. Phil does try to get him to state directly whether or not he is still attracted to men but lets the snake [no, I do NOT have ANY sympathy for these people--not the leaders anyway] slither away. Strike 2.
The ballgame was totally lost to the troglydytes, led by lead pitcher Phil, in the next segment which introduced a couple who fear their 4-yr. old son is going to turn out to be gay because he doesn't just love to play with high heels and jewelry but SAYS he wants to be a girl. At this point, Dr. Phil turns into a gentler but no less stupid and reactionary version of Dr. Laura. He baldly fails to make immediately clear the difference between homosexuality and being transgender. While there is much truth to his saying that it's too early to determine anything lasting about their son [although there is research to the contrary about children who are so focused on identifying with totems of the opposite gender, his word choice, e.g., "a problem" suggests that he thinks being transgender is wrong, should be fixed, etc., [wait a couple of more years and if it's still a problem he'll recommend someone] and suggests repeatedly trying to get the boy to accept playing with "male" toys.
The ironic thing is that he did so much more poorly than his mentor, the Divine Oprah, who I have come to hate as a fake saint homophobe [as recently as a week ago she was still playing "wouldn't ja wanna hump him, girls?" nonsense games about her gay pet poodle Nate [where's the "but ja can't--he only likes BOYS!!! God luv him."?]. She did a show about transgender children last year that was brilliant, touching, sensitive, insightful, damn near revolutionary--and certainly was for her given how retarded she is about the much more simpler topic of homosexuality.
Phil closed with some relatively good remarks about gay family members that still could have been interpreted as putting the burden on those gay to tolerate their family's treatment of them as something less. He would never accept the idea that he should "work around" any family members rejecting his pert little wife. This guy is HUGELY popular and trusted, and that sound you heard was the calendar going slightly backward for us yesterday in much of America.
Posted by: Leland | Oct 20, 2005 4:45:48 PM
It bugs me when people say "I could care less" instead of "I couldn't care less." Just had to say that lol.
Posted by: Britt | Oct 20, 2005 5:44:18 PM
cutest. story. ever.
Posted by: jru | Oct 20, 2005 7:46:54 PM
As an older gentleman having grown up in a very rural Florida; I recall the many problems of students who were "GAY". Though we did not call it back then. Any of the even suspected "queers" were subject to similar fates as the college lad in Wyoming of a couple years back. Had students then be allowed the freedoms of kids today many of my friends would have lived. Sorry to say we had kids who took dives off of the radio tower because they could no longer stand the hiding or taunting threats. Threats not only froom their peers but from adults and society of the time.
A friend recently asked how it was I survived. The answer is and was simple. I hid. I joined the Marine Corps because it would show that I was tough. Did it work? Not really. Certain people still knew. But I was so deep into the closet it did not matter. But it did. Job promotions got passed by me because they knew. I was mostly ignored, because they knew.
At my 40th high school reunion I was outed, or at least they attemped to out me. Statements and comments of old rememberences were made. I survived it all and still most have doubts. Doubts because of my career and who I was in it. Now? Now I am retired and can hardly wait until our next reunion (our 50th) where I intend to let them all know I AM GAY!; and always have been.
Why am I posting this you might ask? Simple. Had we had back then, the freedoms of kids today, I would have been a much different person in life. A happier person and I would have been able to love as I felt.
Thankfully most of these kids will not suffer alone in later years but have full lives of loves to recall. Not memories of friends who had lives cut short. Cut short by their own hands as well as by cause from others.
So Yes I am very, very proud to see this happen. And may it continue.
BBear..
Posted by: Bear | Oct 20, 2005 8:10:26 PM
I'm reading this story just before bed, and my dreams will be sweeter tonight for it.
Posted by: michael | Oct 20, 2005 9:15:10 PM
It's wierd. i graduated less than 10 years ago and in my HS there was nothing said about gays. it was like it didn't exist. i can't think of a single person in my class who was gay. however--and this shows how incredibly fast we're progressing socially here--when i went back 2 years later with this girl who asked me to her prom (it was cute, c'mon!) there were 3 gay couples in attendance and nobody cared. mind you, my HS was in upper-crust Republican suburban North East ignorantsville! i was shocked!
i didn't 'realize' i was gay in HS. however, when i hear stories like this it's bittersweet to me cuz i wonder what my life would've been like/would be like had i realized and had the experiences of being a gay teen. like that recent TIME coverstory detailed. i wonder if "older" gays feel that, too? like, you're happy about the progress but at the same time you feel like like cheated out? like, "i wish this would've happened when i was that age", kinda thing?
i love how the Christian right will say anything. they are so obviously desperate in their attempts. they know they are losing this battle. the "gay movement" is progressing so incredibly fast. it's a beautiful thing. too bad they can't see that.
Posted by: Derrick | Oct 20, 2005 10:25:32 PM
Derrick -
As a 47-year-old gay man, I can answer your question by saying that I, personally, do have bittersweet feelings about stories like this one. I did have a hard time coming out - although not nearly as hard as some people - and I know my life would have taken a very different course had there been even the degree of visibility and acceptance that exists today - which is better, but still not great - when I was growing up. But my experience was a hell of a lot easier than what people went through in the '40s and '50s, when they could be forced into mental institutions against their will, and, hopefully, it'll be a complete non-issue in another 75 years and the experiences of today's youth will seem heinous in comparison. The bottom line is that my experiences contributed heavily to who I am today, and I love myself and am proud of myself today. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to say those things had I not undergone what I did. I'll never know - but, to me, it's like wondering what life would have been like if I'd been born straight, or six inches taller, or into a family with a lot of money, or whatever - it's kind of a moot point. I am who I am (no reference to "La Cage" intended), and I'm grateful for that. And, WAY overshadowing all of the above, I'm so thrilled for those two kids, and for all of their classmates, that I feel giddy!
Posted by: JOE | Oct 20, 2005 11:25:17 PM
Despite what this administration may do to keep gays in the closet in the military, or supreme court nominees who lean to the right or constitutional amdendments designed to "protect" marriage, the younger generation will soon be moving to positions of power and for them, being gay is no big deal. I am sure they will laugh and shake their heads at the level of ignorance that our elected officials have shown towards gay issues. The light for change is at the end of the tunnel and it's moving our way, slowly but surely. And there is nothing the Pat Roberstons, Jerry Falwells or James Dobsons can do about it.
Posted by: Mark | Oct 21, 2005 3:31:46 PM
You know, that is awesome! It makes me very happy to see people around the country become more accepting of others our age. It is unfortunately that those 20 years older than us are attempting to stiffle that acceptance through passing laws and such. But, we are the future.
Posted by: Joel | Oct 26, 2005 6:24:18 PM
jen is so hot by the way. but anyways its so good to see that some parts of illinois aren't closed minded. i live in lagrange and i am a senior at lyons township and every sense i moved here i feel restricted somehow. no one here talks about their sexuality i am so used to all of my friends and family back home in tennessee knowing that i am bi and its okay with them and i joke around with my friends saying thing like she's hot and laughing about it now only two people here know that i am bi and its so hard. but i so good to see that you can be who you are and succeed good job you guys.
ps call me jen ha ha just joking but email me.
Posted by: shay | Nov 1, 2005 10:22:09 PM