02/02/2006
Breaking: Punxsutawney Phil Still Gay
Last year on Groundhog Day we told you that conservative handlers have declared Punxsutawney Phil possibly gay because he's been living alone for so long that he's a threat to traditional marriage. This year there is more evidence to back up their assertions.
Phil's followers love coming in drag.
If his followers were straight, wouldn't this guy's jacket say beaver rather than groundhog?
And how could we have missed this last year? The most damning evidence of all: Phil lives at Gobbler's Knob.
Phil saw his shadow this year, which means six more weeks inside his burrow, gobbling knob. That is, unless he's going to parades, which, by the way, is very, very gay.
Is Punxsutawney Phil Gay? [tr]
Posted 10:26 AM EST by Andy Towle in Current Affairs | Permalink
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I live in an area where this is a big deal. Very Pennsylvania Dutch. There are Grundsow lodges all over the place just a few miles north of where I live. Delightful people. Next up for us is donut day on the Tuesday before lent, the rest of the world gets drunk and shows their tits for Mardi Gras, my neighbors eat donuts.
You would see your shadow to with all those cameras and lights waiting at your front door in the morning.
Posted by: Donald | Feb 2, 2006 10:34:03 AM
Gobbler's Knob!? You've got to be kidding me... I thoughht that was just the name of a band, Love it!
Posted by: Greg | Feb 2, 2006 11:16:20 AM
Haha. I love you Andy. :)
(In a completely un-awkward/non-threatening/"Full House" way of speaking, of course.)
Posted by: matt f. | Feb 2, 2006 11:19:45 AM
Welcome to Pennsylvania Greg
Posted by: Donald | Feb 2, 2006 11:20:10 AM
I've always revered Groundhog's Day because today is also my birthday! I also love the movie "Groundhog's Day" because it's my birthday over and over again.
My mother told me that when I was borne, I popped my head out of her womb, looked around for my shadow, and came out when I didn't see it.
I told my mom, "That's disgusting. Don't ever tell me that story again."
Posted by: Matthew | Feb 2, 2006 11:45:43 AM
The whole groundhog thing goes back to Germany and was a tradition with a hedgehog. Since there are no hedgehogs here, the Pennsylvania Germans transferred the whole tradition to groundhogs. If this tradition is going to have a gay spin on it, how about a naked guy getting out of bed and everyone checking if he sees his shadow? Any suggestions for which hunk should be followed with all the cameras?
Posted by: John R. | Feb 2, 2006 1:10:45 PM
Hahaha! Great post! :-)
(It almost makes up for the carrot thing yesterday.)
Posted by: Rich | Feb 2, 2006 1:32:14 PM
Do I have to remind y'all that Groundhog Day is also Elaine Stritch's birthday?
I do?
Posted by: Jacko | Feb 3, 2006 8:41:12 PM