06/15/2006
Peter Parker Revealed: Spider-man is Gay Too
Forget about those pesky Superman rumors.
When Spider-Man is unmasked for the first time in his 44-year history, readers may draw some new conclusions about Peter Parker:
The hair perfectly coiffed (and highlighted), the eyebrows plucked with Metcalfe-ian precision, the lips shining with gloss, and the skin mystic-tanned to a luscious, caramel-honey shade.
Gay or just gay vague? You be the judge.
Sphere: Related ContentPosted 10:35 AM EST by Andy in Comic Books, Grooming, Superheroes | Permalink
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One can only hope. He's been one of many childhood fantasies for me.
Posted by: Damien Tilden | Jun 15, 2006 10:42:52 AM
Wow. Apparently his greatest super-power is hair completely immune to the hat-hair effect. (mask-hair?)
Posted by: Rich | Jun 15, 2006 10:50:06 AM
Hey, I just read that issue last night, too...what was the deal? Why was he in his new costume at the beginning of the issue and back in the old one at the end?
Posted by: Michael W. | Jun 15, 2006 11:24:38 AM
i want a mystic tan...
Posted by: DexstarG | Jun 15, 2006 11:56:52 AM
Isn't all of this a little 1970's tragique, to be cooing and insinuating that every male star (even comic book characters!) we find attractive is a friend of Dorothy? It feels very tight jeans and Marilyn Monroe porcelein figurine collection to me.
Posted by: Aatom | Jun 15, 2006 12:23:00 PM
It is tragique Aatom, but only if you really take it seriously. I think you have to look at it with a sense of humor.
Posted by: andy | Jun 15, 2006 12:28:54 PM
I'm just impressed with how young he looks for someone who is, by the numbers, 59 years old. Must be something about radioactive spider bites that keeps one's skin taut, firm, and blemish free.
Posted by: Joel | Jun 15, 2006 12:58:45 PM
I do NOT pluck my eyebrows!
Posted by: peterparker | Jun 15, 2006 1:30:38 PM
"I think you have to look at it with a sense of humor."
I think anyone who writes, "It feels very tight jeans and Marilyn Monroe porcelein figurine collection to me," pretty much knows from funny.
Posted by: Michael Bevel: British Adventuress | Jun 15, 2006 1:54:15 PM
My boyfriend is not gay! What is it with you homos! He's never had a "ward" or a "special friend." You think every hot guy is gay! Get over it! Leave him alone and go back to drooling over Aquaman or that closet case, Superman.
Geez!
Posted by: MaryJaneWatson | Jun 15, 2006 2:15:06 PM
Um, actually, MaryJane...there's something I've begun to realize about myself...
Posted by: peterparker | Jun 15, 2006 2:21:23 PM
How can Superman shave? Wouldn't his whiskers break razor blades?
Isn't it only female spiders who spin webs?
I wonder if Aquaman and Submariner have a thing going on.
Posted by: JT | Jun 15, 2006 3:36:16 PM
First Superman, now Spiderman...
I imagine the creative minds at Falcon are mad at work...
Posted by: Mark | Jun 15, 2006 7:05:32 PM
To quote and paraphrase Jessica Rabbit: "I'm not really [gay]; I'm just drawn that way."
Posted by: Greg | Jun 15, 2006 7:06:30 PM
Don't forget that lesbian Batwoman!
Posted by: Jennifer | Jun 15, 2006 7:32:00 PM
He's Gay alright! Evry superhero has some degree of same-sex attraction!
Posted by: MICHAEL | Jun 15, 2006 8:05:37 PM
ummmm, MJ? There's a reason I've always been such an ass with Peter....he completes me and I can't quit him...so, since I can't fix it, I'm gonna stand it (or sit it, whatever)
Posted by: Flashthompson | Jun 15, 2006 8:38:42 PM
Superman shaves by using his laser vision (not heat vision) on a mirror and reflecting it back onto his whiskers...apparently it took a lot of practice to avoid burning his face, since he can actually harm himself with his own superpowers. John Byrne showed this in an early issue of the rebooted Superman sometime around 1987-ish.
Posted by: Joe | Jun 16, 2006 5:04:42 AM
Get your heads out of the clouds!!!! Superman is NOT A REAL PERSON! Spiderman is NOT A REAL PERSON! And before you all start, Wonderwoman is NOT A REAL PERSON! They are COMIC BOOK CHARACTERS! And you people need to get a grip on your wishful thinking, and your fanstasy life, and snap back to reality.....
Posted by: Thomas | Jun 16, 2006 10:25:43 AM
Would a straight guy ever say, "My spidey sense is tingling!"? Just a thought;-)
Posted by: Lukey | Nov 3, 2006 8:01:08 AM
"Oh, I;m a feeling a little bit like Michael Novotny right about now".
Gonna run down to the comic book store and get the latest.
Thanks Peter. (Parker and Paige).
Posted by: EdensAsp | Jan 20, 2007 10:03:09 PM