08/28/2006
Nepal's First Gay Wedding Photos
Here are a few photos from the first gay "wedding" in Nepal, which I posted about on Friday. While it doesn't appear that the ceremony made any great strides in dismissing the incorrect and oft-assumed notion that in gay relationships one person must play the man and the other play the woman, the "wedding" (same-sex marriage is not legal there, and neither is homosexuality) was most definitely an advancement for the gay community of Nepal.
The wedding of Anil Mahaju, 28, and Diya Kashyap, 22, thrown by Nepal's activist group the Blue Diamond Society, was attended by media, community activists, and a few family members, according to UK Gay News.
Sunil Pant, President of the Blue Diamond Society, said : "This is the first ever public wedding between two males but this is not the last. It’s an historic occasion that will hopefully not just inspire other individuals with similar love and commitment to come forward and live their lives according to their will, but will also generate a great deal of dialogue amongst this conservative society on wedding, social norms, values and politics of gender and oppression of masculinity in Nepalese society."
While wedding photos often have religious icons in the background, in this case it somehow seems entirely appropriate that that icon would be the internationally worshiped David Beckham.
Previously
Kathmandu Couple to Hold Nepal's First Gay Wedding [tr]
Posted 9:53 AM EST by Andy Towle in David Beckham, Gay Marriage, Nepal | Permalink
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Since when does gay mean having to wear a dress?
Why don't they call it a Drag Wedding??
Posted by: dc-20008 | Aug 28, 2006 10:06:00 AM
Let's not be harsh. This is Nepal we're talking about...years, if not decades behind "the West" as far as progress in Gay/Human rights is concerned. Give them some time to catch up, and respect that they have a different way to express what they want, even if you find it embarassing. Remember that in the US well into the 50's & early 60's, butch/femme roles were the rule not exception.
Posted by: Brett | Aug 28, 2006 10:24:00 AM
I agree with Brett. Some countries are still entrenched in role-play and gender roles (and in third-world countries homosexuality is viewed from a more social and less moral point of view, the opposite than in America). And of course, in the west we do have really big hangups on males appearing feminine in any way shape or form, so it's not strange that some people would find one of the males in a female role upsetting.
Posted by: xavier | Aug 28, 2006 11:19:54 AM
It's a nice dress.
Posted by: dave | Aug 28, 2006 11:39:13 AM
No, really, what does this event mean? They are pushing the envelope socially and politically, but their relationship is illegal, the marriage is illegal, lord knows a man wearing a red dress may be illegal. I guess you gotta start somewhere. Are they gonna get thrown in jail?
Posted by: Dave | Aug 28, 2006 11:49:57 AM
It is a very Western point of view to call them "behind" us as far as gay rights are concerned. Who knows which course they will take. Is ours the best model to follow? Maybe, maybe not.
Posted by: jmg | Aug 28, 2006 11:58:17 AM
Congratulations to Anil and Diya!
While their ceremony presently lacks Nepalese legal recognition I should like to wish them well and every happiness. Simply loved the photos,with such vibrant designs and fabrics and the images (thanks to Andy for posting them) only augment the growing series of iconic images of same-sex intimacy that have been circulating around the globe.
The non-Western image of a gay wedding should give us pause for thought about how heterosexuality still shapes the ceremony. There must be a middle-ground between the curse of the gay penguins (heteronormative tuxedos), dragging it up, and hankie-coded grooms in demin! Perhaps we do need the wedding planner after all.
Posted by: Sean R | Aug 28, 2006 11:59:24 AM
Good for them. Congratulations!
Posted by: Scott | Aug 28, 2006 12:01:26 PM
I was going to rag on the dress, too. But I read the other comments and the point is taken. Thanks, guys.
Posted by: David | Aug 28, 2006 12:21:41 PM
Then, I guess Molly MacKay and Davina Kotulski should move to Nepal. In fact, I'll contribute the first $100 to get them there. If you saw any coverage at all from San Francisco's "Winter of Love" when Gavin Newsom tried to legalize same sex marriage you, no doubt, saw these two camera whores in high butch/fem drag: Molly in her 24-7 wedding gown and veil and Davina in purple tuxedo. They weren't the only ones, but the ones most determined to get photographed again and again. Molly became both a self-appointed then Equality California-paid spokesperson for a while. Proving that you don't have to live in a third world country to be stupid about role playing. Those in Nepal deserve a pass, but Molly and Davina deserve bitch-slapped. Not for the role playing as such—that's their right—but for not seeing [or caring] how much they reinforce homophobia which is based on sexism and the idea that we are some kind of blurred gender.
http://www.samesexmarriage.ca/images/advocacy/EQCA_SF2004/Guardian_cover.gif
Posted by: Leland | Aug 28, 2006 1:16:31 PM
Adorable! Bless them.
Posted by: Mike | Aug 28, 2006 1:56:37 PM
I was in Nepal a few years ago and was told by two different Nepalese guys that "homosexuality does not exist in Nepal. It's an Indian thing". They were young and they truly believed this. In India I was told that homosexuality only exists in Nepal :) In both countries men were publicly very demonstrative and openly affectionate - holding hands in the street, arms around each other on the bus. I remember thinking that it would be relatively easy to disguise a gay relationship as just a friendship, given that homosexuality was literally unthinkable to so many people there.
Posted by: J | Aug 28, 2006 2:48:33 PM
Oops...sorry I didn't consult the PC handbook before my insensative post.
Posted by: Brett | Aug 28, 2006 3:11:36 PM
This wasn't an arranged marriage I take it. It may have been a transexual marriage though. Hard to say. It can get complicated in Nepal, since I believe they practice polyandry. It's hard to contemplate homosexuality in an area of the world that has mainly arranged marriages. That's probably where the natives are coming from when they view it as foreign. It's silly to argue about whether a post here is PC or not if one doesn't have a clue about the local customs and culture. You'd just be exchanging one Western POV with another.
Posted by: Anon | Aug 28, 2006 3:56:30 PM
WELL ...I DONT KNOW ABOUT THAT DAVID OR REAL MADRID POSTER....
BUT GOOD FOR THEM
GOD BLESS :)
Posted by: IKER | Aug 28, 2006 9:04:51 PM
I'm so happy for them!
May God bless their union and grant them the courage to live their life happily together with dignity.
Posted by: Raj | Aug 30, 2006 2:26:56 AM
I am from Nepal and I just saw this..I think ist great. yes, that's our traditional costumes for wedding...and I am glad that they could wear it without feeling hesitant. I think its such a hypocritic comment on role playing etc. It;s Anil's and Diya's wedding..they can do whatever wy they want it. From what I know about being a Nepali myself, by man marrying a man itself, they have broken all the social norms...so I cannot believe that they dressed up like that to look "normal" or to fortify the "role-playing' societal model...I just think they wanted to do it that way...one liked to see himself a groom and other as a bride.
Guys, we are learning about homosexuality from teh scrape, out there is Nepal...and most of the people who first decided to come out were people from not-so priviledged backgrounds....and yet they had guts to speak their mind. Where does it say the gay culture/lifestyle has to coem from USA? We first learned about our country and our soceity before our sexuality....os it makes perfect sense that our country and culture has more impact on how we express ourselves. Just like straight people in Nepal are different than straight people here, gays in Nepal are different than gays here...not good , not bad, just different...
I am so happy for Anil and Diya...
Also, one point.....most people in Nepal do not know about sexual preference issues so they are just ignorant, not hateful. I think it is best not to compare the emerging gay culture in Nepal as "opposed" to straight culture but we shoudl try to introduce it as a "different" culture. From what I know of Nepal, people are pretty laid back. I hope Nepal gets its sexual freedom without going into so much tension between the "opposite" sides.
Posted by: me | Nov 15, 2006 9:30:25 PM
Leland -- Hopefully someday you'll get off your keyboard and do even a quarter as much as Molly and Davina has done for the same-sex marriage cause. (You might have mentioned that the reason you saw them in front of the cameras was because they were/are the spokespersons for Marriage Equality USA. But then again ... that would take some thought rather than just rattling off.)
Posted by: Garrett in SF | Mar 31, 2009 4:21:55 PM