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1. I sat here, on the verge of tears reading this. I am too a gay ex-JW. My father is an elder, mother and sister are regular pioneers. I have one other sister who is disfellowshipped. I am lucky to still have a close relationshipe with my parents and sister. They are constantly getting grief for associating with me. I hate what growing up a JW did to me, I have been working for 6 years to get over the guilt I still feel for being myself. I love my family but hate what they love. It tares me up everyday. I don't blame them for raising me a JW. They allowed me to make my own decision about continuing in the faith or "truth". My mother told me yesterday that she still hopes that I come back to meetings. Even though we have talked about that I am never coming back, she still hopes. I wish they could see what they are doing. They are good people and yes 99% of JW's are trully good people, they are just searching for a place to belong and a place that tells them that there is a meaning to all the choas and evilness in the world. PLEASE do not hate JW's, feel sorry for them.
   

   Posted by: Pete | Dec 21, 2006 11:17:29 PM

   
   

2. Don't let this stop you from loving. I don't know if you are lover of are gay twins, I was a gay trin but my brother died in 98. I wouse profoundly in love with him & still am but it didn't work out totaly because he narried & I help raise this children who are mirro immage of me. I don't know if you are into each other or into others too. But I have said stay by your Man Man. God is not Rel. & Rel. is not God. It's only a fragile limited path but god loves you unconditionally & does not reject you are your earthly community do. Love them but move out of their apher. Make new friends & keep your love for each other as your center. Nothing will ever be greated then union with God Him Self. Love each other & thank God for your love for each other & others. I was asked on day what is the purpuse of being gay & I said. 'I was raised in an upper middle class family with everything so I could fit in to all things but being Gay I became an outcast & a leper & a poria. So I learned what it is to be in & yet out, I leared that through suffering & rejection I was becoming aware of truth that my pierse could never reach. For they would never be curst at or called fag or excomunicated or shuned or talked about & beaten & even killed. God gave me the gift of the cross to know suffering in a culture that utherwise knows nothing but wealth & consumerism. I was born in & am actually out. I would never change my sexuality for the comfort of the comfortable puf. No the suffering I have gone though has made the man I am & I am a child of God loved by God & Free to be Gay & practicing Gay before Him & still share hin his love to serve him & follow him as a gay man with a gay lover with death do we part but in eterit we wil walk before God Together as one united Love! So love God & do not become bitter & hate. Let that go. Be who you are & if you desire tack each other to bed & take these next 5 days just to lover each other in the most intimate passionate loving ways you can. As an identical twin who always desperatly desire such love from my twim & never had you love each other & never stop such love. Okay. Ter.

   Posted by: ter | Dec 22, 2006 12:47:28 AM

   
   

3. I was half raised in the Jehova's Witness faith. My mother is JW, as are my brother, and several aunts, uncles, and cousins, my father is not. I left the religion at 13, my mother decided that at that age I was old enough to decide if I wanted to be a part of it or not. When I came out to my parents at the age of 22 I was terrified of never seeing them again. My family supported me and told me they loved me and accepted me no matter what, even members of my mothers congregation whom I knew still spoke to me. I've seen the good the JW's have done for others first hand and don't feel it is anyones right to condemn anybody else. Reading comments about spitting cum on people makes me sad for the person that would actually do that. Like Toby said, these are people with families like you and me. Before you even think of slamming the door on someone or doing anything physical to them, ask yourself if that's how you would like to be treated. All you have to do is say "I'm not interested, thank you."

   Posted by: Rigo | Dec 22, 2006 1:33:15 AM

   
   

4. These boys have been freed from the grand delusion that is christianity, whatever idiotic form it takes. I don't see the problem.

   Posted by: Paul | Dec 22, 2006 7:00:34 AM

   
   

5. It's a totally bad idea to abuse JW/Cult-members on door-to-door out-reach programs.

   Why?

   Because, typically, they are are conditioned to feed upon such abuse as "proof" of their new community's "righteousness."

   The church's higher-up's anticipate, and want, that abuse to happen. Be nice to them, and explain (calmly) your distrust of their ideals.

   rob@egoz.org
   

   Posted by: rob adams | Dec 22, 2006 8:03:15 AM

   
   

6. I'm sorry for having written that comment last night. I don't actually hate JWs, I just hate the religion itself and all it stands for. Yes, I know that there are good things coming out of this cult, and good people too, but to shun away your own flesh & blood is just unforgivable. When you bring a child into this world, it's not temporary and you are to love him/her unconditionally.

   I know a woman in her 50's who spent her whole live in that cult. She left them 8 years ago and her own 3 children won't even talk to her anymore, and she is just devastated because of this but doesn't want to give into them. It's their way of putting pressure on her to get her to come back. It's really a sick concept that unfortunately works well at forcing people to stay in the cult.

   Posted by: Jamie | Dec 22, 2006 10:12:01 AM

   
   

7. I love these guys! you should check out their song "Number one In Heaven" at their myspace, it's great.

   Posted by: Da | Dec 22, 2006 11:42:58 AM

   
   

8. I too, was raised as a witness. I have some thoughts for everyone that has posted.

   One. I do not believe that the JW's are a cult. I see it as meerly a very strict Christian interpretation of the bible.

   Two. We live in America, where we are FREE to do as we please. As soon as you begin "banning" things, as Hitler did in 1930s Germany, we end up in a very bad place. Probably a place that would ban homosexuality as well as faiths such as JW.

   Three. As someone else pointed out, JWs are, for the most part, good people. I feel as though I am a better person on this planet today because of the values instilled in me as a child. As with all organized religion, there are bad apples.

   Four. My family and I are in a 'dont ask, dont tell' mindset. I believe that they have unconditional love for me, and it is easier to ignore the issue for them. Many have faulted me for this, but it works for my family and I.

   People should be more educated about things before they speak.

   As for all the bitter ex JW's...Get over it, and live your life, find positive things to concentrate on.

   To the boys, yes they KNEW this would happen when they agreed to do the show. Other than that, good luck to them!

   Posted by: Robert | Dec 22, 2006 12:13:45 PM

   
   

9. I was raised as one and left when I was about 37 to come out (46 now). My best JW friend was married on 9/11/93 and on 9/11 he called me about a dozen times to try to use 9/11 as the reason I should return to that faith. Some JW's were convinced it meant that the end of the world was nigh.

   I miss the people I knew more than I ever would that set of beliefs but that feeling is tempered by the knowledge that their feelings toward me are conditional to my confirming to their beliefs.

   JW's just DON'T understand why someone would leave that faith. They just don't get it.

   Posted by: ajb | Dec 22, 2006 2:02:10 PM

   
   

10. Religion is bogus.

    Posted by: Jack | Dec 22, 2006 2:23:40 PM

    
    

11. Robert, I agree with most of your post, but when you tell ex JW's glibly to "get over it" you are revealing an ignorance of their sacrifices and their perspectives.

    Also sounds like you are still drinking the Kool Aid.

    Posted by: mark m | Dec 22, 2006 2:34:53 PM

    
    

12. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness like many of those posted above. When I was disfellowshiped I walked away with my mind clear, my dignity intact and a heart harpooned with the pain of exile from a "close" and loving family. I was 21. When I'd see family or friends on the street they would walk past me like a stranger. I agree with several of the above comments; They are good people. But sometimes good people do some really terrible things on their way to paradise. After many years of learning life lessons from the faithful I met my soulmate. He grew up Amish and we've been together for many years. We are very fortunate to have found each other in this big world. It's also awesome to see how many ex-Witness read Towleroad!

    PS. anyone who wants to email me please feel free.

    Posted by: Damon | Dec 22, 2006 2:54:28 PM

    
    

13. I proudly answer my door each weekend morning when disturbed from my weekend extra sleep, with my morning erection proudly poking out my calvins.

    That's usually enough to get the JW's and the 7th Day Adventist to run from my front steps. For those too stupid to notice right away, I always open the door fully and engage them in pleasant conversation until they do; These bois knew this was coming and mentioned it on their show. The true test will be wether or not their immediate family stays true to their blood or sides with their church.

    Posted by: Lexxicuss | Dec 22, 2006 4:00:01 PM

    
    

14. I proudly answer my door each weekend morning when disturbed from my weekend extra sleep, with my morning erection proudly poking out my calvins.

    That's usually enough to get the JW's and the 7th Day Adventist to run from my front steps. For those too stupid to notice right away, I always open the door fully and engage them in pleasant conversation until they do; These bois knew this was coming and mentioned it on their show. The true test will be wether or not their immediate family stays true to their blood or sides with their church.

    Posted by: Lexxicuss | Dec 22, 2006 4:00:16 PM

    
    

15. I do appreciate what people go through. However, I have learned that we all must deal with life as it happens to us and far too many people hold gruges and live with unnecessary pain.

    As far as the Kool Aid, I don't drink it! I was not disfellowshiped because I was never baptised. I realized at an early age who I was, and that I would make my path much more difficult by taking that action.

    I think live and let live should be our primary focus here. They don't bother me (because I do not allow them the opportunity to do so) and I don't bother them.

    Posted by: Robert | Dec 22, 2006 4:05:18 PM

    
    

16. Robert,

    You know as well as I that the experiences of someone who wasn't baptized and those that are disfellowshipped are markedly different. As an unbaptized "member" (you aren't considered a JW until baptism) you would not be subject to the shunning and rejection common among those disfellowshipped. In fact, you would still largely be seen as a prospective convert. Let me share just some experiences I've had in my immediate family:

    --My grandmother upon being disfellowshipped for smoking (due to a policy change in the late 1970s, it was permissible until then) she decided she couldn't deal with her children shunning her so she decided to walk into her bedroom, get her handgun, walk out into the front yard, and commit suicide by shooting herself through the chest. I was not permitted to attend her funeral as she was disfellowshipped.

    --My father, after a severe car accident, nearly died from blood loss due to a broken hip, leg, and shoulder. We tried desperately to find a doctor who was willing to operate on a JW in that state, and we luckily found one. He told us my father had a 50/50 chance of survival with blood transfusions. When they had to rush him into surgery to have his hip fused together the elders' wives in the waiting room told me (a 10 year old boy) how wonderful it was that my father was willing to die faithful to Jehovah. Fortunately, he survived.

    --My sister when she was 16 nearly hemorrhaged to death during her period. She kept it a secret out of embarrassed from my mother. That week she also had to get her wisdom teeth extracted, resulting in some significant blood loss. While still in the clinic the oral surgeon checked her hemoglobin level. He discovered that she was critically low and immediately required a blood transfusion. He was going to call the paramedics when my mother intervened and said she was take her herself. My mother then took her home and called the elders. They instructed her to keep her home and tell no one outside of the church because she was still a minor and the hospital could get a court order for blood transfusions. My sister came quite close to death and couldn't even sit up. My parents were willing to allow her to die instead of giving her blood.

    --My grandfather just died recently. As an excommunicated JW I was not invited to the funeral.

    Posted by: David | Dec 22, 2006 6:56:37 PM

    
    

17. Jack - Religion is bogus in many, many ways - but for many people its a rich source of identity and ethical grounding. What else do we have - the consumer culture?
    Lexxicuss - Enjoy that morning erection while you have it. As you advance in age you may have to stuff a sock in those calvins to scare off the JWs.
    Anyone - what is the JW prohibition on blood transfusion based on biblicaly? This Jewish boy don't understand.

    Posted by: dave | Dec 22, 2006 8:58:46 PM

    
    

18. What I'd like to know is why Jacob and Joshua (and others above who said they have been disfellowshipped) decided to make a dedication to Jehovah and get baptized in the first place?

    And don't blame your parents or the elders - - you knew it was a PERSONAL decision!!!!!

    Posted by: Guy | Dec 22, 2006 9:29:07 PM

    
    

19. Guy. So they made a decision and it was the wrong one. Big deal! Would it be better to aggravate that mistake by dragging it out for the rest of your life?
    Most who 'grow up' JW are baptised when they are adolescent after years of indoctrination and pressure. You don't know any better. It seems the right thing to do.
    hose of us who are PROUD do have been DFd took til we were adults to realise the folly of our way!

    Posted by: david | Dec 23, 2006 7:16:32 AM

    
    

20. I'm really fed up with the line 'JWs are good people, but...'. People are what people does. And what they 'does' (DF) to otherwise loving family members is an atrocity!

    How dare anyone condone such spiteful, exclusionary control tactics. 'Good people' don't drive others to the edge of suicide.

    Posted by: Zman | Dec 23, 2006 8:38:06 AM

    
    

21. Well stated Zman! I posted of my strict preacher's kid raising of an extremely conservative religeon in rural Tennessee, but my family has NEVER withdrawn from me! However strict the Church of Christ are, it is NOT part of their religeion to shun and turn their backs on their family. I have issues with them, but not once have they ever refused to have any contact with me or my brother. Yeah, my poor parents have two gay sons and they still treat us the same. "People really are what they do", and what they do is drive their family to suicide, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc. I am not sure how well adjusted I would be if everyone I knew, including my family chose to treat me as if I were dead and not have contact with me! How stable would I be? Sad, truely sad. Again, great post Zman!

    Posted by: RB | Dec 23, 2006 9:43:51 AM

    
    

22. Religion is toxic. Period.

    Posted by: Humanist | Dec 23, 2006 12:41:20 PM

    
    

23. The only difference between a "religion" and a "cult" is that the former has political and institutional support. Banning either is not a soolution - they tried this in the Soviet Union and it did not work. The Eastern Orthodox Christians are now rioting at the mere consideration of allowing a gay parade in Moscow.

    The war between reason and superstition (aka religious faith) should be won with ideas. Japan did not ban religion but successfully rooted it out within one generation through education.

    Posted by: Antichrist | Dec 23, 2006 12:54:34 PM

    
    

24. Getting baptised in the JW faith has so little to do with it being a personal descision its not even funny!! The pressure to be dedicated and baptised starts from when you are able to read or even earlier. And I can honestly say from personal experience (Grew up a JW, until I left and came out at 29 years old) that I didn't realise the rammifications of my actions fully when I was baptised at 15 years old.

    I wish the twins all the best and the fact that they are out in the public eye is somewhat inspiring and brave- even though they are getting publicity and money!

    Posted by: Aaron | Dec 23, 2006 12:55:22 PM

    
    

25. David,
    Thanks for sharing your stories. It truly put things into perspective. Thank you!

    Posted by: Blair | Dec 24, 2006 12:49:12 AM

    
    
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