12/29/2006
Gay in 2006: The Ins, Outs, and In-Betweens
This is the only "list" I'll be publishing this year, and i'm sure that I've missed a few disclosures here and there, but these are the main newsmakers in 2006 who declared that they're gay, not gay, or just not sayin'. First, a short record of those who burst from the closet:
CNN Anchor Thomas Roberts came out at the National Gay and Lesbian Journalists Association conference that was held in Miami in September, and the fact that it was apropos of nothing was perhaps the most significant thing about it. While other public figures' decisions to come out were most often inspired by rumors or events, Roberts' was of his own timing and volition. Said the handsome anchor: "When you hold something back, that's all everyone wants to know.''
West Sacramento Mayor Christopher Cabaldon came out in March during his 'State of theCity' address, inspiring an abrupt standing ovation: "This is something I needed to say in a direct way, not in a private meeting with a reporter or at a Chamber of Commerce meeting, but to really say it at a time when I knew the community will hear my voice in a direct way...If I'm ever going to have a personal life, I wanted to be open and direct about who I was with my constituents before that happened...It should be the case where I shouldn't have to say anything about it and wouldn't feel the need to say anything. I went to Mayor Fargo's State of the City Address the other day and she never at anytime announced that she was straight. I know she is. It shouldn't be that way, but we're not in that place."
Former N'Sync bandmate Lance Bass came out in late July, after his relationship with a gay former reality show contestant forced him from the closet. He expressed relief at finally finding the courage to tell the truth: "The thing is, I’m not ashamed – that’s the one thing I want to say. I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I’ve been my whole life. I'm just happy. The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that (the rumors) really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."
Congressman Mark Foley was forced out of the closet in October after "inappropriate" emails and IMs he had sent to congressional pages began to surface, triggering a string of resignations and inquiries in the run-up to the November elections. The statement came from Foley's attorney, David Roth: "Mark Foley wants you to know he is a gay man." Not that anyone needed confirmation.
American Idol singer RJ Helton burst from the closet spontaneously on a SIRIUS radio show after host Larry Flick asked him why he was no longer performing inspirational music. Said Helton: "I can have a faith but can't be who I want to be. So a lot of it was just personal things I needed to overcome and just be proud of who I was. Just because I am gay does not mean I can't love God." Flick responded: "Well there you go. Congratulations. This is something that I wasn't sure you were going to talk about on the air today, so what made you decide to come out?" Said Helton: "Today, this morning, three seconds ago? I've never even said that. It feels good. It does feel great. It feels good. I'm just really comfortable with who I am now. I'm very proud of who I am."
Calling it "the most significant event of [his] life", former Savage Garden singer Darren Hayes came out publicly in July when he made the announcement he had joined in a civil partnership with his boyfriend of two years Richard Cullen. Said Hayes: "I feel lucky to live in an era where my relationship can be considered legally legitimate and I commend the UK Government for embracing this very basic Civil Liberty. I'm proud of who I am, and after what felt like an eternity, I'm finally in a place where my heart is secure and content. And I can finally make sense of all of the searching."
Following an on-set brawl between Patrick Dempsey and Isaiah Washington in which Washington referred to co-star TR Knight as a faggot, Knight took a chill approach and told People magazine, "I guess there have been a few questions about my sexuality, and I'd like to quiet any unnecessary rumors that may be out there. While I prefer to keep my personal life private, I hope the fact that I'm gay isn't the most interesting part of me."
The small town of Pahokee, Florida saw its three-term mayor, JP Sasser, speak about his sexuality for the first time. He was very no-nonsense about the whole affair: "I am not a gay mayor. I am a mayor who is gay. And it's nobody's business. And I don't go around [proclaiming], 'This is who I am.' I'm not going to deny it, but it doesn't define me. I'm so much more than that. If I am somewhere and I hear someone say a negative remark or go on a little tirade, then I will identify myself. Like if I were an African-American faced with the n-word or a Jewish person faced with Mel Gibson. I have more pressing issues. I have people who have to choose between eating or taking their medicine."
Homophobic Polish Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski was outed after media published declassified documents which discussed the PM's homosexuality. The outing revealed that political hypocrisy is as alive and well abroad as it is here at home. Asked the documents: "It is advisable to establish if Jaroslaw Kaczynski remains in a long-term homosexual relationship and, if so, who his partner is."
Actor Neil Patrick Harris, the only person on this list to have issued both a "no" (via his publicist, and reportedly not with Harris' blessing) and a "yes" to questions of whether or not he is gay, came clean about something many people had known about for years after Canada.com published an item suggesting he had found an acting role for his longtime partner David Burtka: "The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships. So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love."
Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez was outed by her actress girlfriend Kristianna Loken in an Advocate interview. Loken, when asked about her relationship with Rodriguez, coyly egged on the interviewer, "Just don’t look upstairs, OK?"
Ted Haggard stepped down as pastor of the New Life megachurch in Colorado Springs after escort Mike Jones came forward with allegations he had sex with Haggard and sold him crystal meth. Haggard was finally forced to confess to his congregation: "I alone am responsible for the confusion caused by my inconsistent statements. The fact is, I am guilty of sexual immorality, and I take responsibility for the entire problem.I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life."
Actor Raúl Esparza, starring in a critically-acclaimed revival of Company on Broadway, told the NYT that he's ready to face the reality that he's gay, something his stage character had to face as well: "I think the real thing that Bobby is going through is that he’s trying to grow up, and that means accepting things you can’t change, and it also means that in spite of all the messiness and failure you make a choice to love someone and live your life in the way that’s right for you. It’s messier than the pretty picture you painted for yourself. I had a romantic idea of what it means to be an adult: all husbands and wives who love each other get to stay together forever, love is enough."
Glasgow City Council Leader Steven Purcell responded to rumors surrounding his broken marriage by declaring he's gay, a fact that didn't come as a surprise to his wife: "Over the past couple of weeks the rumours surrounding my marriage have increasingly become a distraction to me. I wish to set out in public the facts surrounding the issue. For the last year my marriage has been in trouble and some months ago my wife and I separated. One of the issues we have been facing up to is the fact that I have realised I am gay. Over the last two to three weeks I have been telling close family, friends and colleagues. Now that they are aware of the situation, and that Katrina and I are clear they understand the issues, I want to dispel the rumours and get on with the job I am privileged to do as leader of the city council."
New Jersey Assemblyman Reed Gusciora thought his sponsorship of the Marriage Equality Bill in New Jersey might raise some eyebrows, so although he'd never denied it, he took a new show opportunity to set the record straight: "I've just never made an issue of it. If someone asks me, I tell them. No one ever asked me publicly before."
Reverend Paul Barnes, a Denver-area evangelical pastor stepped down in the weeks following Ted Haggard's resignation, saying he too had sexual encounters with men: "I have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy... I can't tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away."
Then there were those who felt it necessary to come out as heterosexuals, for whatever reason:
Ken Mehlman: "I’m not gay. But those stories did a number on my dating life for six months"
British actor Danny Dyer told Attitude magazine, on Boy George's aggressive come-on: "He saw the play and he really thought I was gay. He was on my fucking case. I was like, 'Listen man, I think you're the bollocks, but I'm not gay.' He just wouldn't accept it. He was at an awards ceremony and I shit my pants. He's a big man, he's an aggressive man. I was standing up against the curtain and he sort of pushed me, and I fell back onto my arse and I had to go home after that. I was flirting with him a bit. I was playing with him. I was kissing him on the lips. But he wouldn't accept the fact I wasn't gay."
Brandon Routh: "You find whatever message you want. Everybody is going to interpret the film differently...People will see the movie and realise that Superman is certainly not gay. And I am not (gay) as well, but people will have that discussion as much as they want - it is a topic for people to talk about."
Nick Lachey: "I was asked if I'd ever consider playing for the other team, which was a 'Ooh, I'm not expecting that one.' I answered it, 'While I respect the other team and recognise that there is another team and they too play ball, I am not interested in playing for the other team.'"
Hong Kong superstar Andy Lau: "I'm not, but if you say I am, I don't think it's a bad thing. Maybe my attitude has caused misunderstanding. I've never pronounced loudly I'm not gay, and I don't think there's the need to do so. I have gays friends."
Oprah Winfrey, on her relationship with Gayle King: "I understand why people think we're gay. There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it -- how can you be this close without it being sexual? Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own. Whatever this friendship is, it's been a very fun ride."
Project Runway's Michael Knight: "Why—are you trying to screw me, is that why you're asking? But that's what I want to say. But, yes I am straight and no, I am not dating anybody."
Peter Davis, husband of the New Zealand Prime Minister, told a radio show he's not gay after photos surfaced of Davis receiving a kiss from Labour party supporter Ian Scott: "I couldn't even remember the incident until (television channel) Prime then started showing it in a semi-pornographic way -- slowing it down, repeating it...Frankly, if I was doing anything like what was said of me, then that would have been of public interest. My wife would have been subject to blackmail -- it wouldn't have looked good for the nation. Frankly I'm really quite alarmed that somebody like myself who goes about their business, gets on with their work, can be dragged blinking into limelight and diced and sliced by people who should know better in the media and then spat out."
British Interior Designer Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, via his wife: "It's Laurence who is the peacock. I just try to avoid being too brown and peahen. Laurence is not a fop, but he is a dandy...Besides, these days, there are several flamboyantly dressed heterosexual men around - Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand - so people no longer ask 'Is Laurence gay?' because quite clearly, he isn't. He treats any suggestion that he is as a huge joke. [The night of our wedding] Laurence was looking extraordinarily camp and flamboyant and acting up dreadfully. I'd never met anyone like him before. I thought he was gorgeous and probably gay, so I was very surprised when he made a lunge at me. We ended up in bed instantly. We knew from the start that we were going to marry. For me, there has to be mental superiority in a man and Laurence is supremely clever and well-read. I was dazzled by his erudition. There was no grandiose proposal, but then everything about Laurence is so romantic and ostentatious - never a day goes by without some extravagant gesture - so there didn't need to be. We have a passionate relationship and the most baroque rows. My mother is half-Polish, and the Eastern European in me loves a good argument."
Andy Dick: "I'm not even gay! Last year, it was anal warts, which I don't have. This year, it's AIDS and gay. Which I don't have and I'm not. No and No. Just because I've been with guys, and I'm bi, doesn't mean I'm gay."
Florida Governor Charlie Crist, on whether he's ever had sex with a man: "Never."
Lance Armstrong, on whether he's having a sexual relationship with actor Matthew McConaughey: "We tried it. Wasn't for us."
A denial from Neil Patrick Harris' publicist set the ball in motion for Harris' coming out (see statement above). When questioned about the actor's relationship with reported "sweetie" David Burtka, Harris' publicist proclaimed: "He's not of that persuasion."
Liza Minnelli's former beau David Gest: "They said 'was I straight, was I gay?' I always said, 'bring me one guy I’ve been with' - I’d love to meet him because, if I was into it, I’d be proud of it. I have tons of friends that are gay. They said that because of my wife who I’m getting divorced from was [a gay icon]. I never had a Judy Garland room, I never had a Shirley Temple room. These are all ridiculous things."
And then there were those who would neither confirm nor deny...
Actor Hayden Christensen responded to ongoing rumors that he is gay, telling Vman magazine he considers them "fun": "To me, masculinity is the ability to flirt with the effeminate. [The gay rumors are] fun, entertaining and a bit of a joke. People I relate to know who I am. When people catch a picture of Sienna [Miller] and me, they can speculate, and I don’t do anything. Rumours are more fun than reality."
In September, Clay Aiken was asked by People magazine about rumors that he's gay. Said Clay: "What do you say (to that question)? … It's like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house, and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, 'Did you do this?' Well, it didn't matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. … People are going to believe what they want."
Rapper Ne-Yo, following the publication of quotes from an alleged article by Barbra Stradoff in Essence that revealed the R&B singer would come out, had his publicist issue a swift response: "There's isn't a staff member by that name at Essence, nor is Ne-Yo going to be featured in the October issue of the magazine."
John Travolta, following a Gone with the Wind-style photo of the actor kissing his supposed 'manny', had his lawyer issue a non-denial: "Martin insists that the smooch was harmless, and that Travolta's wife, Kelly Preston was also on board the plane which ferried him and the nanny home from Ontario, Canada. He said that his client's kissing another man was just a manner of customary greeting, and that Travolta kisses all those men and women whom he considers his close friends. 'As a manner of customary greeting and saying farewell, Mr Travolta kisses both women and men whom he considers to be extremely close friends. People who are close to Mr Travolta are aware of his customary, non-romantic gesture.'"
Feel free to leave any folks I've missed in the comments. I'm sure there are more than a few, and let's hope for truth, happiness, and visibility in 2007.
Posted 2:27 PM EST by Andy Towle in I'm Gay, I'm Not Gay, News | Permalink
Like it?
Subscribe to FREE Towleroad daily headlines with our RSS feed!
RECENT STORIES:
Comments
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
Thomas Roberts?
Posted by: MG | Dec 29, 2006 3:33:38 PM
What about Britney and Paris?
Posted by: gay is the new straight | Dec 29, 2006 3:34:03 PM
Roberts. Not sure how that handsome devil slipped my mind.
Posted by: andy | Dec 29, 2006 3:51:26 PM
"...I was flirting with him a bit. I was playing with him. I was kissing him on the lips. But he wouldn't accept the fact I wasn't gay."
Yeah, I have that problem when str8 guys kiss and flirt with me too.
Posted by: Anon | Dec 29, 2006 4:17:32 PM
It's too bad sexual orientation isn't visible like skin color. That would surely take the piss out of this so-called news and get the press off their witchhunt agenda. Good night and good luck.
Posted by: 000000 | Dec 29, 2006 4:44:29 PM
I'm adding to the Travolta story....I had a roommate for 7 years that was his press agent (amongst many other big names in the industry)..but during the Sat Nite movie dayz....Travolta was the main one to keep out of the news because EVERY weekend he would rent a huge house in northern Californian and it would be a huge guy orgy....my friend usually found out about it on Monday mornings & always reprimanded him to let him know when he was about to do somehing that could get in the papers....things were differnet back then..today we'd have the pics posted on blogs across the world
Posted by: tc | Dec 29, 2006 5:29:54 PM
Travolta + Huge Guy Orgy = me, speechless
Posted by: Rob (lrdarystar) | Dec 29, 2006 5:33:09 PM
after i heard about thomas roberts i couldn't help but think about AC. I would do both of them in a heartbeat.
Posted by: Ben | Dec 29, 2006 5:59:09 PM
RJ honey, no one thought you were straight anyway so declaring you were actually gay was a bit anti-climactic.
Posted by: jesse | Dec 29, 2006 6:33:33 PM
Darren Hayes (formerly of Savage Garden) also publicly came out this year.
Posted by: Justen | Dec 29, 2006 6:36:15 PM
Danny Dyer is such an idiot. He's hot and I still definitely would, but he's thick as a redwood trunk. Tip to Boy George: it's hard for a dim bulb like Danny Dear to say he's not gay with his pretty lips wrapped around your culture club. Think about it.
Hayden, babe, the wink-wink, knudge-knudge game is so tired. Find a hobby.
Congratulations and God bless to all those who had the balls to stand proud and be themselves. They're the real winners in the end.
Posted by: Dex | Dec 29, 2006 7:03:16 PM
Oh my Gawd. Is that a picture of Clay Aiken? I swear I thought is was Tilda Swinton.
Posted by: Jim (The Canuck One) | Dec 29, 2006 7:33:27 PM
Mary Cheney announcing she's preggers?
Posted by: Chris | Dec 29, 2006 7:54:12 PM
Regarding Paul Barnes' remark - "I can't tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away."
I would guess that means Barnes believes God made him gay in the first place.
So, is the official position of New Life Church that God makes you gay?
Because that would be a paradigm shift in the Evangelical thinking on these things.
And, that RJ Helton is so precious, isn't he? Thinking we didn't know. Pulllleazze.
Posted by: Joe Bua | Dec 29, 2006 8:42:15 PM
I guise in some ways we were all in some state of denial-exectance So I guise support those who are out & about & love those who are still struggling.
New Yrs is always a sign of new beginning so lets go for the gusto & hope all who need to; to follow the party.
Posted by: ter | Dec 29, 2006 9:17:06 PM
The CNN guy is hottest out of ALL of them on the list!
Posted by: steve | Dec 29, 2006 9:37:13 PM
The mayor struck me as the silliest. Why come out at your "state of the city"? Who cares? Does this mean he'll have a partner in his literature like those awful pics of the wife, kids, & dog that het candidates have. Like everyone on the Logo "Coming Out Stories" series, he seemed horribly self-involved, and doing this for the wrong reasons.
Posted by: Rich | Dec 29, 2006 10:56:29 PM
Good Bye Sadam. It has been one hell of a trip so I hope you know eterinty from what you have brought upon the gay men & women of the middle east. I don't know where you are parting since you are dead now but I would hope you have a wild hot deamon on your ass fucking you will with a tillion degee fire cock with huge wild gouging apikes to rip your ass apprat for thrust to thrust for all of eternity with justice ramming so vigilently fucking from your prince of evel will always be in order.
Taked for your deserve it every mile at a time & know that forever no one will ever care about your screaming for freedom. Too Late for that cow boy!!!!!! No pitty at all! Just take it like a beast you always where so you will be just at home with all those around you who came cum before you!
Posted by: TER | Dec 29, 2006 11:43:00 PM
Okay,I know I'll get nasty responses with this post, but so be it. I just think it's interesting how most of us are happy "outing" everyone, whether or not the person chooses to be outed or not. Also, if you're a Democrat & support one of the chosen gay causes - you're cool! If you're not - well you're a demon and thank God (oops!) thank goodness you got outed cuz you deserve it. Shame on those of you for being so intolerant and hypocritical.
Posted by: Jesse | Dec 29, 2006 11:50:00 PM
Your only list, Andy? Quelle triste! Might I suggest my own? The Gay Has Beens Hall of Shame? It would share some of your names, of course, e.g., the Polish Princess, and Barnes, and poor widdle Repug Fag Ken Mehlman, who, despite his best self-loathing efforts to keep his fascist Massas in charge of the plantation, has the dubious distinction of living and dying politically in the closet.
But it's a tie for the top spot, which must be shared by the Reverend Haggard and the Self-Revering Reichen. Yes, yes, the soon-to-be former Mrs. Lance Bass never any of the evil to us that Teddy Bear did. One claimed to speak for God. One thought he was God. Lies and dancing around the truth and, certainly, too much pride came before their fall. Rev is in self-imposed media silence, but only the sound of New Year's tolling bells will drown out Reich's pathetic shreiking monkey noises against Perez. One would think he would be sending bouquets rather than threatening lawsuits, for were it not for Senorita Hilton outing Lance, Reichen would never have cracked the mainstream media attention barrier again and for so long and sold a couple of his credibility-defying books in the process. But Perez pissed on his image of faithful husband one too many times, just as they were working on their apparently no longer quite so "stable relationship," and the former Air Force captain shot off into the wild blue yonder of protesting a bit too much. Will the Human Rights Champagne fund bestow an INvisibility Award on him next year? A belated Happy Birthday, RL. I sincerely hope you continue to get all you deserve.
Posted by: Leland | Dec 30, 2006 12:17:11 AM
Okay, first of all, the Tilda Swinton comment is one of the funniest things I've heard in days.
Also, three years ago, RJ Helton cruised me, for lack of a better term, on nerve personals. I don't know how to feel about it--flattered? down-trodden?--but either way, I think it's hilarious. Tell a friend.
Posted by: John | Dec 30, 2006 12:38:15 AM
Well, Barnes was all of 5 when he prayed for God's help, so I doubt his evangelical dogma was pure. Likewise, church elders aren't likely to listen to the councils of tots, even if they are barely more mature themselves.
Posted by: Anon | Dec 30, 2006 2:17:26 AM
Oh my god, Leland, just let it go already. Reichen hasn't done anything to you, me, or anyone else. You just make yourself look like a jackass when you rant about him like that. Let him be pretty and famous and move on with YOUR life.
Posted by: Dex | Dec 30, 2006 3:06:37 AM
Oh, and your slave/'massa' references are offensive. Knock it off.
Posted by: Dex | Dec 30, 2006 3:11:33 AM
Great list. there were only a couple i missed. Here in Australia I have a number of ex preachers like myself now come out to me. No media scandals........just a tell all behind the scenes account. "A Life of Unlearning - A journey to Find the Truth"
Posted by: Anthony Venn-Brown | Dec 30, 2006 6:11:43 AM