03/13/2007
McGreevey Divorce Gets Ugly as Former Gov. Demands Custody
According to the Star-Ledger, former New Jersey governor James McGreevey revised his divorce lawsuit against Dina Matos-McGreevey in late February, demanding sole custody of their five-year-old daughter Jacqueline, as well as child support.
When McGreevey filed for divorce in early February, he told the AP that he and his estranged wife had come to a "matrimonial settlement agreement" which settled both custody and support issues: "It's a sad day for everyone. It is something that had to be done. We are blessed with a wonderful daughter who remains our focus."
Matos-McGreevey then countered with a much less conciliatory statement, saying "We continue to have profound differences about what our daughter should be exposed to, and until they are resolved, there will be no agreement."
Blog The Pot and the Kettle suggests that the new moves by McGreevey may be because the former governor plans to enter into a civil union with his partner Mark O'Donnell.
They spoke with John Eory, a divorce lawyer: "'If he's claiming he's better fit to be entrusted with the residential care of his child, I'm presuming he's prepared to go to the mat to do that,' Eory said. He said McGreevey might argue that he can provide a 'stable nuclear two-parent household ... (and) offer benefits to the child that she can't get in a single-parent home.'"
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Posted 11:31 AM EST by Andy Towle in Gay Marriage, Gay Parents, James McGreevey, New Jersey, News | Permalink
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Sometimes I wish that some people would stay in the closet & not tarnish the reputation of our community. This guy seems to be all about himself, from truck stops to announcing that he is a Gay American when it is politically advantageous to do so. So far what I have seen has not contained much compassion or consideration for his wife.
Posted by: Matt | Mar 13, 2007 11:44:16 AM
Just when you think that McCreepy could not get worse in his public conduct, he sinks to a new low. Shared custody is what most courts prefer (in the best interests of the child), so unless his ex-wife was going to claim that he is an unfit parent BECAUSE HE IS GAY and McCreepy is responding pre-emptively, his behaviour threatens his likelihood of success in attaining sole custody.
Unfortunately, this latest display of McCreepy's lack of dignity fits his pre-established pattern of deceit and generally unehtical conduct. He tarnishes gay men by association because he feeds the bigots' pre-conceived notions.
Posted by: rudy | Mar 13, 2007 11:59:19 AM
I'm tired of sanctimonious righteous blowhards in American political life who hold others to more rigorous standards than themselves.
I've never seen a society was more itching to pillory their neighbors on the slightest pretext. Do you not have any sense of how counterproductive this is?
McGreevey is not a perfect man. But neither is anyone posting here. He admitted his mistakes (that's already more than most) and his political career ended. Thousands of other gay and closeted men haven fallen prey to similar indiscretions and lapses of judgment.
As for his home life and his decision to pursue sole custody - who here is actually qualified to determine if he's fit or not? Lave him be, look in your own damn mirror first.
Posted by: FASTLAD | Mar 13, 2007 12:32:13 PM
No Fastlad, McCreepy did not admit his mistakes and take his punishment like a man. His administration was mired in corruption. His hiring of his trick of the day to a security post for which he was completely unqualified merely exemplifies his unethical and unadmitted to behaviour.
His political career ended in a dodge when he misplaced the blame on his being a "gay American". That was and remains a public slap to all honorable gay men who conduct their lives with honor and dignity. McCreepy did so only under the imminent threat of a sexual harrasment lawsuit that would have exposed his duplicitous conduct.
As for who is qualified to determine custody, judges do it all the time. Many of us have similar postiions of authoirty and responsibility where we must adjudge the character of other men and women. Just because we post comments on a blog does not mean we are incapable of thought and moral behaviour.
Rather than being counterproductive, when the gay community stands up and calls out one of our own for unethical conduct--rather than protecting them simply because they may be gay--we are actually demonstrating that we do not fit the stereotype that the bigots would have us wear. We are self critical and demand moral behaviour from our public officials, even if they happen to be gay.
Indeed, it is unfortunate that members of minority groups are typically held to higher standards of conduct by the majority but that does not excuse us from holding our own to basic levels of decency.
McCreepy continues to fail on all counts.
Posted by: rudy | Mar 13, 2007 12:58:14 PM
He's a sleaze and I hope the judge hands him his ass on a platter. It makes me cringe to think of a child living with someone like that. "Marrying up" doesn't give you class, character, or morals (i.e., you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit).
Hey Fastlad - compare yourself to McSleazy and leave the rest of us out of it. Barf!
Posted by: Shane | Mar 13, 2007 1:06:25 PM
Look at McGreevey's picture and let your intuition take the temperature. Granted, your gut may not be 100% foolproof, but this guy has always given me bad vibes. And his choices seem to validate that hunch. I agree with Matt (above): Throughout his entire ordeal, he has shown very little consideration (if any) for his wife.
Posted by: Charlie | Mar 13, 2007 1:30:23 PM
The fact is he wouldn't have done all that stuff if it wasn't for the closet. Who created the closet? Society.
I do not condone his behavior. I would never and have never done the things he has. I understand it though. When you have an entire society looking done on you it creates dysfunctional behavior. That's why the gay community is so dysfunctional. We need to correct that behavior and improve ourselves. We need to take control of ourselves and not be run by straight overlords.
Posted by: Jack! | Mar 13, 2007 1:30:49 PM
What a tool.
Posted by: Brian | Mar 13, 2007 1:40:12 PM
Utterly anonymous commentators making claim about their moral superiority makes me laugh.
I've heard of the allegations made against McGreevey - but where are they listed in explicit detail; please tell me so I can divest myself of any doubt? Until I see them they're simply allegations.
And as for promoting your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, son, college buddy at work? Yeah that never happens. Heavens no.
McGreevey represents the tragedy of living in the closet. I think it's a shame that you're resorting to schoolyard taunts (remember those?) and tabloid press tactics like ad hominem.
Posted by: FASTLAD | Mar 13, 2007 1:40:28 PM
Oh good lord Fastlad, looking at your blog I think you should be one of the first to look in the mirror, apparently though this is only something that should be done by those who's opinion differs from your own. I would be very interested to see the mounds of paperwork supporting some of the positions you have taken in your posts, some of which appear to be of the tabloid genre, and others of which pillory well known members of our society, still if one lives in the political realm one does open themselves up to scrutiny. Luckily there is freedom of expression , and I will not deny you the right to express your own, but for you to write the rest of us off as sanctimonious righteous blowhards seems to display exactly the unreasonable, childish schoolyard behaviour that you are accusing the rest of us of. BTW I do not know the details of McGreavy's divorce proceedings, but his move to lock his wife out of custodial rights to her daughter seem a little draconian and selfish to me, and as has been noted by others on this blog seem to be no surprise if one looks at McGreevy's record of behaviour to date.
Posted by: Matt | Mar 13, 2007 1:54:43 PM
I assume this is a bargaining ploy to win a better divorce settlement or keep things out of her book.
Posted by: anon | Mar 13, 2007 2:59:27 PM
Amen Rudy!!! Fastlad, are you confused? He ABUSED his office and power! If he were truly interested in his daughter then he would absolutely incist on his daughter's mother being in her life as an equal to him. They both are parenst afterall.
And in regards to your statement "As for his home life and his decision to pursue sole custody - who here is actually qualified to determine if he's fit or not? Lave him be, look in your own damn mirror first" I believe I am qualified to speak. I have been in his situation being divorced and a parent of two young children. Their mother and I put them first and share joint custody which is what he should do! Unless she is "unfit" he OWES THAT TO HIS CHILD AND HER MOTHER!!!!! Afterall, Dina McGreevey did not sign up for a marriage to a gay man anymore than my ex-wife did. She deserves a little restpect and the child deserves BOTH PARENTS EQUALLY! The situation is bad enough without puting the child through a custody battle which it appears he is ready to do. Do you remember being ten? Imagine dealing with divorcing parents and one of you parents being gay on top of that all at the mature age of 10! Could you imagine what is going through this child's mind?! She deserves better and he is NOT stepping up to the plate.
My kids mother and I are best friends and understand that we will always be a family unit. We will always parent two kids that we chose to have and one day will share grandchildren. IT IS NO LONGER ABOUT US, it is about what is best for kids that are innocent to our problems. I do not view McGreevey as capable of doing that!
He has continued to make poor decisions for himself and his family. I hardly see where this man is worthy of your concern as he is an opportunist.
Posted by: RB | Mar 13, 2007 6:32:06 PM
I am enjoying the special sparring between FASTLAD and RUDY; nonetheless, I must side with RUDY on this one. A well argued point, old chap!
Posted by: John | Mar 13, 2007 7:54:24 PM
The little girl should be with her mother. Period.
Posted by: Eric | Mar 13, 2007 9:03:29 PM
it's "kramer vs. kramer" all over. who cares? two media whores sparring - and we're watching it like a cackle of tired queens. drop it and keep on movin'...
Posted by: resurrect | Mar 14, 2007 12:19:27 AM
here a gay there a gay everywhere a gay gay.
who cares about women wanna bees.
Posted by: tom | Mar 14, 2007 7:53:00 PM
Gay men are MEN.
Posted by: Jack! | Mar 14, 2007 8:54:13 PM
To be fair, he is also getting involved with gay activism in what seems to be a sincere way: http://leftbehinds.blogspot.com/2007/03/larry-kramer-jim-blowjob-lips-mcgreevey.html
Give him a chance to redeem himself.
Posted by: Chris | Mar 15, 2007 12:02:00 AM
I am the seperated wife of a gay man, who knew he was gay all his life,but chose,selfishly to have an arranged marriage to put a front up to society.. and have two children with me.and continues to lack remorse or have respect. Mcgreavy is warped..once again,its his selfishness..bringing children in this world is about their best interests..not using them as pawns to achieve your goals.
Posted by: Fatima | Oct 19, 2007 11:53:18 PM
I am the seperated wife of a gay man, who knew he was gay all his life,but chose,selfishly to have an arranged marriage to put a front up to society.. and have two children with me.and continues to lack remorse or have respect. Mcgreavy is warped..once again,its his selfishness..bringing children in this world is about their best interests..not using them as pawns to achieve your goals.
Posted by: Fatima | Oct 19, 2007 11:54:34 PM