09/04/2007
Former Rest Stop Frequenter McGreevey Feels for Larry Craig
Former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey penned a "prayer" in the Washington Post expressing his sympathy for Idaho Senator Larry Craig, who resigned on Saturday after a week of pressure from the GOP following revelations he was arrested in June for disorderly conduct in a sex sting in a Minneapolis airport men's room.
McGreevey, who says he narrowly escaped the same fate in his 20's after being caught by a state trooper in a similar encounter at a New Jersey rest stop, attempts to get at the root of why some men search for gay sex furtively while the other half of their life screams 'family values':
"Why do grown men in their 20s, or their 60s, do such things? I can answer only for me. As a child, recognizing my difference from other kids, I went to the local public library to try to better understand my reality. Back then, many library card catalogues didn't even list 'homosexuality' as a topic. I had to go to 'sexuality, deviant' to learn about myself, and the collected works were few and frightening: 'Journal of Nervous and Mental Diseases,' 'Homosexuality: Its Causes and Cure," "Sexual Deviance & Sexual Deviants.' If you haven't experienced it, it may be hard to understand the sinking feeling most every gay boy or girl of my generation experienced upon coming across that section of the library. All I could do was slam the drawer closed and leave, steeped in hopelessness. No relief was forthcoming from my then-Catholic faith, which said the practice of homosexuality was a 'mortal sin' subject to damnation."
McGreevey also warns of the dangers of excoriating gay people in general with regard to the Craig case: "Is it possible that we hold him to a different standard because a same-sex entanglement is involved? If being gay is, as I believe, a natural gift of the creator, what choice does a gay person have in being gay? If we condemn sin in an equal manner, so be it. But what if our condemnation tells to members of the next generation that they are to be shamed, repudiated and vilified inequitably for being gay?"
Incidentally, McGreevey is back to school today. He begins his studies to become an Episcopal priest at the General Theological Seminary of the Episcopal Church in Manhattan. According to Newsday, "As a student in the non-degree program at the seminary, McGreevey has up to a year to choose a course of study. In the meantime, he can choose a broad array of courses in theology, liturgy, ministry and related topics that are available to students who are unsure of their educational and vocational goals."
A Prayer for Larry Craig [washington post]
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Posted 8:25 AM EST by Andy in James McGreevey, Larry Craig, News | Permalink
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Well I'll be...he finally said something right...and possibly worthy of public redemption.
NAAAAAAAAAAAH! He's still a scumbag! He may be 50 years old, but there are MORE than enough other out 50 year olds that very proudly declare their sexuality. This whole "public fears/in the closet/era when I grew up" horseshit is exactly that: horseshit. Maybe, just maybe if he produces some sort of Glenda the Good Witch of the North come out, come outreach program to help others before they royally fuck up not only their own lives, but the lives of others, he might just be doing WHAT HE ALREADY SHOULD'VE BEEN DOING FOR YEARS. Asshole. Now he's going to seminary school? Nice switch. Politics for politics, just a different kind, and not only that, this reeks of self-reparation therapy. Good for you, Jim. Maybe you'll learn something along the way to making yourself feel better.
Posted by: FizziekruntNT | Sep 4, 2007 9:11:05 AM
I think what angers people the most is the fact that Craig was an opponent of gay lifestyle while pursuing part of that lifestyle himself. Where he could have been helpful in creating equality he instead chose to follow the right wing agenda and vote against equal right agendas.
The fact that he supposedly was seeking gay sex in a bathroom only hurt the cause.
BTW, most arrests made in a bathroom or cruising area seem to be men like Craig who are married, older, and in the closet.
I think this represents a problem in itself!
The other point is that perhaps the cops are a little over zealous when they operate these stings, no where in the report did it say anything about Craig exposing himself or lewdly touching anyone else in that bathroom, hand movements? Toe tapping? Unless a cop sees dik in a public area whats the crime? I don't condone public sex but I think we need rules for the police to. I doubt any of these allegations will stand up in court. If it goes.
The bottom line is that it is too late for Craig even if he is innocent. Now the GOP has to find another "hater" to replace him in the next election.
Had the police waited for evidence that he actually was looking for sex the "gray area" would be cleared up.
Posted by: rock | Sep 4, 2007 9:13:52 AM
ROCK, "gay lifestyle", are you kidding me with this? Where did you pick up that term, on the 700 club?
I don't know what is more offensive; that you use the outdated, inaccurate and loaded term "gay lifestyle" or that you seem to think that trolling for sex in bathrooms is a part of this nonexistent lifestyle.
First of all, there is no such thing as a gay lifestyle. INDIVIDUALS have lifestyles, minorities don't.
Trolling bathrooms is no more a part of the average gay person's life than picking up a prostitute is a part of the average straight person's life but you don't hear people talking about prostitution being a part of the "straight lifestyle".
Posted by: Zeke | Sep 4, 2007 9:30:49 AM
The 2 of them chose to live their lives as closeted gays and voting against the gay community. They both make sick. I think McGreedy even more now. He needs to stop speaking out for the gay community and work on repairing all the lives he's ruined. I can't believe the gay community even has the time for him. The clergy are such wonderful people to the gay community. Blahhhh.
Posted by: zeke | Sep 4, 2007 9:34:50 AM
Hi Andy,
You're propagating a falsehood when you say that Gov. McGreevey is beginning his studies for the Episcopal Priesthood. He's not even begun the ordination process, which involves a long period of assessment by the parish before the candidate is even permitted to proceed to the diocesan level for evaluation.
Since Gov. McGreevey has only recently been received into the Episcopal Church, he would expect to wait a few years before his parish even formed a discernment committee.
Gov. McGreevey has years before him before he's named a Postulant for Holy Orders and can be officially said to be "studying for the Priesthood."
Peace,
Stu
Posted by: Stuart | Sep 4, 2007 9:37:12 AM
Oh, and say what you will about McGreevy, but at the very least, when push came to shove he (unlike Allen, Craig and the rest of the outed Hee Haw gang) came out. Although many people will be cynical of his every move, I believe he has done a lot, since coming out, to try to help and educate other gay men, and young people, to avoid making the mistakes he made. AND, he was never a ranting, raving homophobe in his public life.
Posted by: Zeke | Sep 4, 2007 9:39:49 AM
Here's a little ditty me and my hubby sang on our way back from Palm Springs yesterday. We call it "Doin the Larry Craig":
First you tap, tap, tap
and then you shake a leg
and then you wave your hand
and do the Larry Craig
Posted by: the queen | Sep 4, 2007 9:46:33 AM
There are two ZEKE's post here.
ZEKE_STAR, please alter your screen name a bit to save confusion. I've asked you to do this many times now. I've been posting on Towleroad for over three years so I don't think it should be up to me to alter my name.
Posted by: Zeke | Sep 4, 2007 9:46:50 AM
LOL@Stu! Sorta like McGreevy will be propagating the Episcopal faith if it turns out that Patti Sapone, Josh Margolin and Jeff Diamant aren't really just liars?
Posted by: FizziekruntNT | Sep 4, 2007 9:54:57 AM
@STU: There's a pustule on McGreevy's Holy Orders? Oh my!
Posted by: Becks07 | Sep 4, 2007 10:01:02 AM
Thank you, Stu. And why is he wearing a clerical collar? It's deceptive and tells me, yet again, that Mr. McGreevey is blinded by his own needs to create "personas". Now he is playing the pious clergyman. I find him deeply untrustworthy.
Signed,
A Reverend.
Posted by: Rachel | Sep 4, 2007 11:16:22 AM
RACHEL, he isn't wearing a clerical collar.
It's pretty obvious that the picture is poorly photoshopped.
Posted by: Zeke | Sep 4, 2007 11:24:18 AM
I'm pretty sure that the picture is a photoshop of Gene Robinson's body, with the Episcopal sheild in the background, with McGreevy's head attached.
Posted by: Zeke | Sep 4, 2007 11:27:12 AM
The photo of JMcG is photoshopped to make him look like clergy. What is untruthful about what he says is that it seems he willfully ignored Stonewall and the gay lib movement of the 1970's. Does he not remember disco? What was he doing at the time? By the time he got to college, I'm sure there was plenty of reading material at the school library to chose from. What he never admits is that a) he was ambivalent then and now about his sexuality (bisexual or gay) and b) he purposely avoided the issue not because of his upbringing, but because he was politically ambitious and knew it would kill his career. He needs to stop blaming others.
Posted by: anon (gmail.com) | Sep 4, 2007 11:29:10 AM
I can actually related to going to the library to learn about homosexuality when I first discovered I was gay, and only finding anti-gay "literature." And this was in the late 70s! And I wasn't convinced there was nothing wrong with being gay for a long time, I didn't come out until the early 90s when I turned 30. All those wasted years, part of why I doubt my anger about homophobia will ever cease until my last dying breath.
"The 2 of them chose to live their lives as closeted gays and voting against the gay community"
McGreevey did not vote against the gay community, that's ridiculous, he was a liberal Democrat who spoke before gay groups. The only possible dirt on him where that is concerned is he said he was opposed to gay marriage, like 99.99% of politicians at the time. But McGreevey supported and voted for all our other rights, to lump him in with the far-right Craig is absurd.
I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for Craig, even though I think those bathroom sting operations prey on fearful, pathetic closet-cases who will confess to anything to keep their secret from being exposed, and the cops know that and exploit it. So listening to that tape of the arrest that surfaced, was very creepy and somewhat angering. But I still think Craig deserved it, he voted for every viciously homophobic bill put before him.
Posted by: Johnny | Sep 4, 2007 1:01:34 PM
So saying that I have been extremely unkind to McGreevey here in the past would certainly be an understatement! And Zeke has called me on it given that I too was married and lived as a "straight" man for 35 years. However, Zeke, for the first time ever, McGreedy may, just may have said something that was not completely stupid or out of line. I have to eat my words here, but he actually said something that not only can I relate to but respect.
Now I am not sure that the gay community owes him anything and I am not sure that he has done any good since coming out, but he finally said something intelligent!!! WOW...did I actually say that?
Posted by: RB | Sep 4, 2007 6:18:33 PM
Larry Craig, however, I have no sympathy for. I never in my "straight" life tried to harm gays or work against gay rights! To do that and to be closeted for the number of years that Craig has been alive and in a position of authority is disgusting!!!!!!
Posted by: RB | Sep 4, 2007 6:21:31 PM
Larry Craig, however, I have no sympathy for. I never in my "straight" life tried to harm gays or work against gay rights! To do that and to be closeted for the number of years that Craig has been alive and in a position of authority is disgusting!!!!!!
Posted by: RB | Sep 4, 2007 6:22:02 PM
I do believe McGreevy has done some good since coming out. Maybe it isn't evident to those of us who are and have been out and proud for years but I have no doubt that his telling his story (just as RB has told his) has educated and helped other closeted gay men avoid making some of the pitfalls that he and RB made. Regardless of one’s personal animus to McGreevy and his sordid past, certainly one can appreciate that his telling his story will help others.
I commend both of you guys for courageously telling your stories, even if the circumstances that brought you to your truths were very different. I know many people cynically claim that McGreevy only told his story to make money. Sorry, I'm just not that jaded yet. I think he wanted to tell his story to help others (and maybe make a little cash on the side). What better way than to write a book? Even if he had donated all of the proceeds from his book to gay rights causes, people would have accused him of doing it to get a pat on the back. Face it, once he committed the original sin of the closet and getting married, he was forever damned to be the eternal devil by many in our community.
If nothing else, I hope his story makes a difference in some gay person's life and spares a future spouse and family the pain that always results when closeted people force themselves to live outside of their truth.
Posted by: Zeke | Sep 4, 2007 6:54:56 PM
He really should stop blaming others for all the horrible things he's done in his life, don't you think?? Why do we let politicians always get away with this crap?
Posted by: anon (gmail.com) | Sep 4, 2007 11:11:15 PM
^5 Zeke and RB. Glad to read that my two buds are here fighting the good fight. I've been out of the country for the month of August so my Towleroad deficit is huge.
Zeke and RB, I really admire your ability to see the good in McCreepy. I am trying but I still see him as an opportunist who has not yet acknowledged the depth of his deception.
True, he did not actively vote against gays (Thanks Zeke for calling out the ridiculous use of "gay lifestyle", what an idiotic, demeaning, and inherently discriminatory phrase) but he has not yet fully made amends, at least, IMO.
That said, McCreepy did--finally--say something intelligent. I'll give him that much. I am still convinced, however, that had he not been the subject of an attempted blackmail, he would still be toe tapping through the mens rooms of the NJ Turnpike. I find deeply closeted gay men are more dangerous enemies than straight bigots because their self-loathing animates their cowardly actions.
Posted by: rudy | Sep 8, 2007 5:06:07 PM
McGreevey's right about the way it was. Don't judge him. There are many out there who can't come out because of the church. You today just don't know the pain.
Posted by: Vi | Sep 8, 2007 8:59:44 PM
You who hate the church now don't know how it was The church was the final authority. Drilled into your brain. You were brainwashed. Some escaped, but not till later in life. F_ck the church.
Posted by: Vi | Sep 8, 2007 9:01:32 PM
The church was and still is the reason for rest stop and mens room sex for men. Is and always will be. It is the way to go, if you have been brainwashed by the religious.
Posted by: Vi | Sep 8, 2007 9:03:25 PM
VI, Your statements barely rise to the level of idiocy. Blaming the church is a crutch for weakness and inability to think. Moreover, we are not discussing what happened in the 50s or 60s. McCreepy and the Toe-tapper were self-loathing and self-delusional in the mid 2000s. Historical analysis is not a useful measurement of their actions today. They can still repent and ask for forgiveness for hypocracy but only if they acknowledge their hateful acts, mend their ways, and show contrition through action, not merely words.
Posted by: rudy | Sep 9, 2007 5:32:54 PM