"Ex-Gay" Calls Dear Abby "Brainwashed, Ignorant, Uninformed"
"Ex-gay" Stephen Bennett has lashed out at Dear Abby following her statements regarding same-sex marriage and her words of support for gay teens.
Said Bennett: "I got into the office an hour or so late today and my e-mail was flooded with people questioning 'Dear Abby's' comments. The phone has been ringing off the wall ever since. Jeanne Phillips (aka Abby) is opining a lot about how very little she knows. Her using buzz words as 'homophobic' and 'inclusive' and 'judgmental' are to scare people into believing she is 'right.' Homosexual family members need to be loved and be treated with respect, yet going as far out on a limb as Phillips did, is showing FALSE love and is actually harmful. We encourage families to love their 'gay' identified loved ones unconditionally, yet without ever condoning or accepting the behavior. It's a fine line one learns to walk - and when you speak the TRUTH in love - it pays off. 'Dear Abby's' ignorant advice will only cause more harm and pain to a confused society, and not only to the homosexual individual, but to EVERY family member and friend involved. Dear Abby,' stick to what little you know -- and forget about that which you don't. Encouraging young 'gay' men to accept themselves as such can lead to an early death. I wonder how you would respond to several of our Parents Group members, whose sons have died excruciating and painful deaths due to HIV/AIDS. Try comforting these inconsolable parents. What, I wonder, would you say to these distraught parents, 'Dear Abby'? Maybe, 'That's just life! You can do it! Get up now and move on! I suggest Jeanne Phillips talk to people like me and a 75-year-old mother in our group whose son walked away from homosexuality after many years. Phillips is brainwashed, ignorant and uniformed. You want the truth 'Dear Abby'? Give me a call."
Don't wait by the phone.
Posted Oct. 10,2007 at 3:00 PM EST by Andy Towle in "Ex-Gays", Dear Abby, Gay Marriage, News | Permalink
Dear Mr. Bennett,
Fuck you, Mary.
Warmest Regards,
Marco
Posted by: Marco | Oct 10, 2007 3:06:18 PM
you just know he taps his foot in airport restroom stalls.
Posted by: Chux | Oct 10, 2007 3:07:56 PM
An "ex-gay" is calling someone else brainwashed???
Posted by: Michael W. | Oct 10, 2007 3:13:45 PM
Very arrogant for someone with feathered hair
Posted by: Davey | Oct 10, 2007 3:18:17 PM
Wow, don't you love hypocracy when it is easily exposed. How can you blame someone for faulty logic, when you yourself cannot even begin using logical thoughts.
Oh..."gay men die young"...why ?
"they have aids"
...way to be scientific there. I'm sure his research somehow states that all gay males have AIDS and that we die by the time we're 35...
Maybe if he wasn't so preoccupied with all the cock he isn't getting, he would actually come up with a strong argument
Posted by: bob-e | Oct 10, 2007 3:19:21 PM
"Brainwashed, ignorant and uninformed"
Ain't that a hoot?
Posted by: KJ | Oct 10, 2007 3:21:09 PM
My experience has been that the pain and anguish that people go through in having to acknowledge gay family members has little to do with the idea that the person is gay and almost everything to do with their fear of what other people in their community/church/family will think. It's an embarrassment to them. Fuck that shit. Mr. Bennett is a coward, pure and simple. He's denying himself in order to please other people and I hope he is fucking miserable.
Posted by: Michael W. | Oct 10, 2007 3:21:20 PM
Who is this asshole and why is he in the news? Dear Abby ROCKS!
Posted by: Bigbroth4u | Oct 10, 2007 3:24:38 PM
The anti-gay industry's desperation is really getting thick.
People like Bennett, who have made a career out of shamelessly selling their reclositization snake oil, under the "ex-gay" "therapy" label, are freaking out because they're seeing the future of their industry being threatened.
They are becoming more and more vicious with their words and actions. The faux compassion mask is starting to fall off.
Posted by: Zeke | Oct 10, 2007 3:26:49 PM
Hear, Hear! Marco!
Makes my blood boil. What a self-loathing, sad, sad hypocrite!!
Posted by: Antoine | Oct 10, 2007 3:26:54 PM
Dude has a fucked up idea of the definition of "unconditional". You either love someone unconditionally or you don't.
Posted by: monkey | Oct 10, 2007 3:29:41 PM
What does gay marriage have to do with someone dying from complications from AIDS?
Posted by: davitydave | Oct 10, 2007 3:31:53 PM
Tell HIM not us how you feel by calling him TOLL FREE at 1-800-832-3623 or e-mailing:
office@sbministries.org
This lying, parasitic fascist makes his living demonizing gays—and his group is TAX FREE!
"OVERCOMING HOMOSEXUALITY
If you are struggling with unwanted homosexuality (also known as "same-sex attraction") please know there is hope - real hope.
First, you need to understand no one is born 'gay' - no one. No scientific studies have ever concluded homosexuality is biological. In fact, the mountain of evidence and research available clearly indicates quite the contrary - that homosexuality is an unnaturally developed condition, in many cases stemming from some type of early childhood trauma or dysfunction.
It is also important to understand in most cases, one's attraction to the same sex is not necessarily something one "chooses."
Homosexuality can develop from a variety of different circumstances, including (but not limited to):
1. Childhood molestation
2. Early exposure to pornography
3. Premature sexual experience or encounter
4. Broken, disrupted or non-existent relationship with the same-sex parent
5. Some type of early childhood trauma
There are also many other factors within the childhood and teen years that can play a part in one going down the homosexual path. These early prepubescent circumstances and trauma are then reinforced throughout one's childhood, teen and adult years, causing sexual (and sometimes gender) confusion. The individual may experience rejection from the same-sex parent, as well as other peers of the same sex.
This external rejection can lead to rejection of one's own masculinity or femininity within the individual. When puberty kicks in, these feelings then become distorted and sexualized - thus leading to one's physical and sexual desire for the same sex.
When the individual eventually experiences 'homosexual' sex with another individual, he or she momentarily feels 'complete' - feeling he or she has finally found the love, approval, acceptance and attention they have always craved from the same sex. One also temporarily feels 'whole' in the lack of their masculinity or femininity. The fact is this never fills the void one truly feels inside.
Many homosexual men and women will vainly go from partner to partner looking for "Mr. or Ms. Right" but will never find that individual - thus the reason for homosexual promiscuity. Though some individuals may find a homosexual partner they will "cling" onto for many years, this is nothing more than an unhealthy emotional attachment and co-dependency - a desperate attempt to steer away from the real underlying issues and avoid confronting and dealing with the deep seeded trauma and/or pain.
Simply put, no matter how successful, professional, popular or "happy" on the outside some homosexual men and women may seem - inside, they are clearly broken, hurting individuals.
When a man or woman struggling with homosexuality becomes brutally honest, he or she knows deep inside something is not right – in fact, something is desperately wrong.
Overcoming one's unwanted homosexual attractions is a process which may not be completely easy, yet it is completely possible. Thousands of individuals have successfully left their unwanted homosexuality and moved on to "healthy heterosexuality" - many even happily married today with children. Even a greater number of men and women are currently on that journey of change and restoration.
Just as a drug addict or alcoholic is not "born that way" and would never be encouraged to remain in their destructive lifestyle, the same must be said of the homosexual individual. Homosexuality is unnatural, unhealthy, morally and spiritually debilitating - and in many cases – deadly.
Friend, change is possible - completely possible! If you are willing to begin the journey to finally deal with what you have probably struggled with most of your life - today can be the first day of the rest of your life.
SBM has produced a 6-1/2 hour audio series and book that has been life changing for many - for individuals just like you. It is called Reaching the Homosexual for Christ - Coming Out of Homosexuality - Change is Completely Possible.
This series, over a year in the making, will take you step by step on understanding the issue of homosexuality - what God says on the subject, the causes, the warning signs, the dangers of and the viable means for complete change. We feel it is one of the most comprehensive, rock solid biblical resources available today for men and women seeking true, lasting change.
This special series is also ideal for mothers and fathers of homosexual children, married couples with a spouse struggling with same-sex attractions, and pastors and individuals looking to effectively minister to and reach individuals who are struggling with homosexuality.
The series Reaching the Homosexual for Christ - Coming Out of Homosexuality - Change is Completely Possible is available in your choice of an 8 CD or 6 Cassette Audio Album plus an 90 page book through SBM's On-Line Ministry Book Store & Resource Center. We strongly encourage you to get your copy today - this very well could be what you have been praying for all along.
We also encourage you to contact SBM personally if you would like to speak with someone privately and confidentially regarding your own situation. Please know - SBM is here to speak with you, to listen, to encourage and to pray. Contact the National Offices of SBM Monday through Friday, 9:00 am - 5:00 pm EST at (203) 926-6960.
May the Lord bless you and truly give you the desires of you heart – and never forget, complete change is completely possible!
With Love in Christ,
The Staff of SBM"
Again, tell HIM not us how you feel by calling him TOLL FREE at 1-800-832-3623 or e-mailing:
office@sbministries.org
Posted by: Leland Frances | Oct 10, 2007 3:32:28 PM
MICHAEL W, I think you are absolutely right. I would take that thought a step further. People don't seek "ex-gay" therapy because they are unhappy with their homosexuality and gay people don't commit suicide because they're distraught over their sexuality and gay people don't get married because they are unhappy with their homosexuality; gay people do these things because OTHER people are unhappy and distraught over their homosexuality and make their lives miserable with homophobia.
If gay people lived in a world where their sexuality was considered as normal as heterosexuality and was celebrated as much as heterosexuality their would be NO gay people committing suicide over their sexuality, their would be no gay people suffering for years in the closet, gay people wouldn't be marrying people of the opposite sex etc.
Homosexuality isn't the problem, as Bennett and others would have us believe, HOMOPHOBIA is!
Posted by: Zeke | Oct 10, 2007 3:34:23 PM
People should unconditionally love their gay family members while neither condoning or accepting their behavior!? How is someone supposed to do that?
Posted by: Meeg | Oct 10, 2007 3:39:08 PM
Leland, that is some SCARY sh*t!
Why are people allowed to run such programs?
Where are the laws that are supposed to protect vulnerable people from being defrauded? Where are the laws that protect people from snake oil scams? Where are the laws that are supposed to protect people from malpractice? Where is the APA to shut this guy down for practicing psychiatry without a license using pseudo-science and false statements?
By the way, there is NO scientific proof that people are born left-handed and no one really knows precisely why some people are. Does that mean that science has proven that handedness isn't inborn and natural?
Arrrrrrggggh.
This asshole makes my head explode when I think of all the people he has hurt and all the misery he has caused.
Posted by: Zeke | Oct 10, 2007 3:42:44 PM
Unconditional means without conditions.
Mr. Bennet is what happens when family members don't condone or accept their loved ones for who they are born to be. It doesn't help that he looks like a fellow closet case Nicolas Cage.
Posted by: SFshawn | Oct 10, 2007 3:43:06 PM
Brainwashed ??? can you say Pot...Kettle....Black ?
Posted by: Don | Oct 10, 2007 3:48:41 PM
Somebody got shot down in the bars too many times...
Self-loathing!
Posted by: dc20008 | Oct 10, 2007 3:49:45 PM
Dick.
you know he's got fishnets and a fist shaped dildo stashed in his closet.
Posted by: stolidog | Oct 10, 2007 3:59:56 PM
WOW!!! Why is it that the ONLY people that truly have serious issues with homophobia are the ones with something to hide? Ex-gay my ass! There is no such thing. Bennett is not happy and never will be. I praised Dear Abby for stepping up, but this man has stooped to real lows. He is trying to make young gays as miserable as he is.
I do believe that sexual orientation is a "choice". I CHOSE TO BE STRAIGHT FOR 35 YEARS. And guess what, the only person I was fooling was ME! I knew better, I tried to believe I was straight but the truth won out. I am finally happier than I have ever been with nothing to hide. Yeah you can "choose", but it is ALWAYS IN AN ATTEMPT TO CHOOSE SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE NOT!!! YOU CANNOT CHOOSE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT YOU TRULY ARE. I tried and failed. You always fail when you take Bennett's route. He will die miserable and probably alone. There will never be any real intimacy in his life and he will never really be free.
He and his organization should be ashamed, but they are not. Sad...
Posted by: RB | Oct 10, 2007 4:01:33 PM
Forget Dear Abby. What gay Americans really need is a lesson in self-hatred from a deluded goon with an 80's blow dry.
Posted by: FASTLAD | Oct 10, 2007 4:05:13 PM
Leland, I get furious and bitter when I read about all this EX-GAY crap- I was once a born again christian and tried to change.... yet I cannot honestly say that I feel my homosexuality is not a problem intrinsically...why? Why do I feel that their mission statement seems so true??! Why do I feel my homosexuality so intrinsically dead end and unfulfilling? I cannot shake it.
Posted by: Nikko | Oct 10, 2007 4:11:14 PM
Oh, Stephen Bennett. One of the most discredited and hollow examples of the so-called "ex-gay movement". This man makes his living on the backs of ignorant, confused people who simply cannot accept that their homosexuality (or the homosexuality of a relative) is a NATURAL, INBORN trait. Yes, there is still debate on how much nature/nuture affect sexual orientation, but the fact is that overwhelmingly self-identified gays and lesbians report that they have always felt same-sex attractions, going back into early childhood. That is certainly the case with me.
It's too easy to attribute homosexuality to child abuse, molestation, trauma, etc. It is a tired and hackneyed claim. It also asserts that homosexuality is abnormal - and history itself prooves otherwise.
Homosexuality is part of the human condition, part of the spectrum of the human experience. There have been homosexuals in all civilizations, all races and ethnic groups, all religions, etc. since the beginning of time. Does Stephen expect us to believe that each and every one of those homosexuals in history were "made" gay by abuse, trauma, etc.?
If Stephen doesn't want to be gay anymore, then let him crawl back into his closet and live a lie. But he has no right to go out and actively LIE and SMEAR other gays and lesbians who have accepted and embraced their sexuality and choose to live openly and honestly.
Posted by: Jonathon | Oct 10, 2007 4:11:17 PM
This makes me feel even better about that letter I wrote to Abby this morning, in which I applauded her for speaking out against homosexual discrimination - especially to a readership that I can only assume is largely conservative.
Show Abby your support at:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/dearabby_form.html
We need to support those who support us!
Posted by: A | Oct 10, 2007 4:11:55 PM