11/06/2007
Benicio del Toro Surprises at New York Gay Meth Addict Meeting
Page Six reports that actor Benicio del Toro showed up to stand behind a friend battling meth addiction at New York's Gay Men's Health Crisis recently:
"Del Toro, who starred in 'Traffic,' among other movies, stood up to address the crowd and said, 'Hi, my name is Benicio. I am not an addict, and I am not gay. I am here to support my friend.' [Their source] continued, 'Benicio is a sponsor to a guy who looks a little bit like Patricia Arquette. They met when Benicio was doing research for his druggie role in 'Things We Lost in the Fire' and kept in touch. Benicio is now his sponsor. But it's weird because usually sponsors are people who have been through the 12 steps and can coach you through them, not some guy who's just famous. But I guess it's sweet.'"
Posted 9:10 AM EST by Andy Towle in Benicio del Toro, Health, New York, News | Permalink
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I have a real problem with reporting this item. It feels too much like it's violating the confidentiality of the GMHC program.
I think the same points could have been made without the whole second paragraph, but I'm not sure it's appropriate at all.
The confidentiality (if there was any) was breached by the Page Six source, not Towleroad, but it still feels very wrong for anyone to be promoting this without the consent of the parties involved.
Celebrite gossip is one thing, but a 12-step program really seems too far.
Anyone else have thoughts? Andy?
Posted by: tjc | Nov 6, 2007 10:01:49 AM
Um... so much for anonymity. Beyond despicable!
Posted by: Giovanni | Nov 6, 2007 10:14:12 AM
Why the hell is somebody telling anybody in the media what is going on in a 12-step meeting? That just sucks in so many ways, especially for those addicts who are trying to heal their lives and for those who are trying to help them.
Travis
Posted by: Travis | Nov 6, 2007 10:22:16 AM
the name of the person may not have been divulged but, the association with the movie and Benecio, will help people connected with it, put two and two together...yep, so much for annonymity...in this age where celebs are seeking help with their addictions and, the press is publicizing it ad nauseum, anonymity is a thing of the past...talk about being outed.
Posted by: cliff | Nov 6, 2007 10:22:49 AM
This is ridiculous...sponsors aren't 'usually' people who are also addicts who have been through the same thing, that's pretty much a prerequisite. I hope Benetio is ready for a ton of calls from potential new sponsees.
Posted by: Lonnie | Nov 6, 2007 11:02:05 AM
Reporting this is completely unethical and amoral.
Posted by: ubu | Nov 6, 2007 11:25:11 AM
Benicio said "I'm not gay." Maybe he had to say that because he's 40 years old and he's never been married and he's never had kids.
Posted by: Hollywood Dave | Nov 6, 2007 11:45:30 AM
Hear Hear!
Totally unacceptable reporting and I could not agree more with Giovanni on this one - so much for anonymity!
Sorry Andy, I typically love and support your work but you missed the call on this one.
Posted by: Lead | Nov 6, 2007 11:51:56 AM
He needs a shaving support group.
Posted by: anon (gmail.com) | Nov 6, 2007 11:55:07 AM
It is wrong wrong wrong to violate the anonymity of a 12 Step group in any way. Sadly, I fear that half the time people in the entertainment industry claim to be in Recovery just so that they can qualify for an insurance waiver on their next Project. And the press now colludes with them as anything and everything "celebrity" is now reported as actual news. He is not an addict, but I admire Mr. Del Toro's compassion. A sponsor is someone who has experience with the problem and the solution, not just someone who wants to help, but it is a beautiful thing that he wants to be involved in this person's recovery. But shame on the person who whipped out their cell phone to take a picture at the meeting (if that's where that pic was snapped), and shame on whomever filed this report, and I'm dissapointed in Towleroad, always such an excellent Blog, for the posting.
The real news story is how fragile the anonymity of the 12 Step world has become in this tabloid driven, ethically weak, media-feeding-frenzy over anything 'celebrity.'
Posted by: John | Nov 6, 2007 11:55:31 AM
That picture looks like it was taken from a news conference or promo even from the film, since it appears to be an image of Halle behind him, but regardless, it is horrible for this to be leaked to the news, since the whole premise of the 12-step philosophy is anonymity.
It is noble of him, and a very humane thing to do to try to help this person, but unless he has been there himself, he is really in no position to be a sponsor. Why didn't he just use his celebrity to do a campaign against meth use or a fundraiser?
Newscoverage to do with any 12-step meeting is an outrage, since you have to have absolute confidence in privacy to trust in the process. Believe me, I've been there enough myself to know, but it does work.
Posted by: Jordan | Nov 6, 2007 1:07:28 PM
Gee, I wonder why no one wants to go to 12-step meetings to work on substance abuse issues. Oh, yeah...because there's always the possibility some assclown at your meeting will out you to friends/co-workers/media. Whoever reported this to the media should be barred from attending any 12-step meeting anywhere for the rest of his/her life.
And, Andy, I've gotta say I agree with everyone else that this item is beneath towleroad. It's even worse than that creepy, surreptitiously snapped photo of Jake Gyllenhaal sleeping on the train in Europe.
Posted by: peterparker | Nov 6, 2007 1:21:38 PM
I used to attend these meetings, and let me tell you, they are more social events than 12 step groups. Full of porn stars, industry people, and hangers on, guys actually dressed up to attend the meetings, and it was more important to see and be seen than to work on your sobriety. How did Page 6 get this story? One of the starfuckers in the group told them.
If you are struggling with addiction you are far better off attending a straight AA meeting than these farces.
Posted by: wetcnt | Nov 6, 2007 1:47:17 PM
go to Page 6, it is a meth addicts meeting, it does not imply that it was a aa/na meeting. There are many kinds of meetings for support. Not everyone agrees with 12 steps as their route for recovery or treatment.
( And are court ordered AA meeting attendance in keeping with the tradition? NO! That tradition has gone away. It is dinner table conversation. I understand the anonymous part was not to hide from co-workers, family, etc but to level the field so everyone was on equal ground)
Andy, these guys seem to be waiting on you to f/u. Wonder why? This was a good story. The reaction from these readers is so typical of 12 steppers or people who know 12 steppers which according to these guys would be impossible because you won't know them except in meeting and then you wouldn't really talk about it. Got to love em. I don't see you violating anything, but Page 6... come on, what was with all that hype being wasted on. What could have been a story of friendship across social boundaries was reduced to "sweet" indifference.
Why did he say he is not gay? Because he isn't. Maybe he speaks truth. The comments made are reason st8 guys need to defend their st8ness. Seems Gays just want everyone who isn't following typical patterns of st8 life to just be gay. We become laughing stock . He stood by a friend , not because he is or isn't gay, he came to a gay meeting about an addiction he doesn't have to help a friend he loves. And the reaction is "stunned" "surprise" anger, disappointment, What a laugh. Next time Benicio take him to a FEMA - like staged meeting . You are sure to get better press too.
Posted by: remer | Nov 6, 2007 3:04:49 PM
While I believe that the tipster from that meeting horribly violated the safe harbor of a 12-step meeting's purpose, I don't think that Towleroad is to blame for mentioning, as is stated above, that PAGE SIX reported the item. This site is a news aggregator, and is not doing something horrible by pointing out a news item and providing a link. No skin off Andy's nose, I say. Shame on the person who talked to Page Six, and shame on Page Six for printing that. Mr. del Toro should be able to support his friend's recovery in his way, and the press should respect that anonymity, even if others choose to try and break it. Hell, plenty of media people are in those rooms to recover, too.
I support your blog, Andy. Sorry you're catching crap for merely pointing out what someone else has already done. Keep up the honest good work, and shame on that tipster to Page Six!
Posted by: Kevin | Nov 6, 2007 3:29:15 PM
Kevin, if the info shouldn't have been printed in the first place (on Page Six), which seems to be what you're saying, why on Earth is it okay for Andy to re-print it?
Why not take the high road and not cover it? It seems the whole "two wrongs don't make a right" adage applies here.
Posted by: tjc | Nov 6, 2007 3:48:10 PM
Remer, I'm basing my comments on the blurb pasted by Andy. I do not want to go to the Page Six story and give it more coverage than it's gotten. I do not want to condone this type of "reporting" by Page Six.
The quote specifically mentions "12 steps" so I take it to be _my understanding of_ a typical 12 step program. I am not a 12-stepper, and in fact I have serious issues w/ the step that requires you to believe in a higher power (too religious for my taste). I do not know any 12-steppers.
Your red-herring argument about court-ordered programs is a non-starter.
I could have been completely off-base, which is why I phrased my concerns as discussion points (not being a 12-stepper was why I was hesitant to condemn the violation of a trust -- if there was one). The fact is that regardless of the actual or required levels of anonymity, these meetings are to help people get well and make changes in their lives. There are different levels of ability to effect these changes, and that's why these programs exist. There needs to be a base level of comfort and safety in all the meetings, and this reporting, in my opinion, violated the spirit of that safety.
Just because a celebrity does something doesn't mean it has to be reported on.
This isn't someone working against GLBT rights while sucking guys off in restrooms. The only way I can see this POSSIBLY being worthy of reporting is if del Toro were working against meth use by day but was an active user at night. Since this is not the situation, I do not think this should have been covered by anyone, Towleroad or not. I'm also really curious as to Andy's thoughts on this issue.
And Remer, the stunned and surprised reactions are not that del Toro attended the meeting or helped out a friend, it's that IT WAS COVERED AS A NEWS ITEM.
The more I read your piece, the less respect I have for you. Your callous disregard of the concerns of people dealing with addictions suggests you seriously lack empathy.
Posted by: tjc | Nov 6, 2007 4:09:07 PM
Remer - there are NO meth addicts meetings at GMHC that are not 12 step meetings. The group is CMA - Crystal Meth Anonymous. It's a joke and is filled with guys who can't put 2 days sober together. It's basically a place to hook up for drug fueled sex.
Posted by: wetcnt | Nov 6, 2007 4:21:53 PM
I agree that two wrongs don't make a right. And I've re-examined what I posted earlier. I'm realizing that while I disagree with Page Six (and really, anyone)reporting this, I support a second party's pointing out what has been previously printed.
I think it's appropriate for a reporter to say, "Look what this source did/reported/printed." So, I think Towleroad is in the right to highlight this action. The site has done its job by aggregating news (in a gay context) for a user to see. I'm sure we're all glad for that.
But I also must acknowledge that, realistically, some stories create controversy because of their nature; and sometimes I disagree with the story being printed in the first place. If Towleroad picked up on this first and printed as the first source, I'd be disgusted. But I don't think I can shoot the messenger here. This is one media outlet printing something I find despicable and another outlet showing another audience, quite objectively, what was printed.
I still don't think Page Six should have reported this. I don't think Page Six should get a break, but I won't chide Towleroad for lacking journalistic integrity. I don't like this story at all. But had Towleroad not highlighted it, I wouldn't have known about it. But that's just me. So, thanks to Towleroad, I'm aware of what crappy integrity another outlet has.
Posted by: Kevin | Nov 6, 2007 5:15:31 PM
And I'm probably the most redundent person on this board right now - I need to re-read me posts. Sheesh.
Posted by: Kevin | Nov 6, 2007 5:24:33 PM
Kevin, I find your logic tortured. If it was wrong for one party to print it, it's wrong for another party to re-print it.
If it had been more of a blind item posted here, instead of a near-verbatim reposting, I might be more okay with it. "at a NYC-based meth addicts support group, a straight and sober actor stood up as sponsor of a group member." But that's not how it was written. It could even have mentioned del Toro's name if the rest of the details were much vaguer, but it wasn't.
The item here also didn't criticize the Page Six story -- it lifted it with attribution. Towleroad was not pointing out a lack of journalistic integrity, it was actively participating in the same.
Posted by: tjc | Nov 6, 2007 5:38:15 PM
Benicio is an anti-american asshole. He's very friendly with anti-american dictators Fidel Castro and Venezuelan dictator Chavez. He's also pro Puerto Rico's Independent Movement that commited terrorist acts in the USA if the 50's and 60's. He's nothing but a publicity seeker that exploits every opportunity to be in the news. He doesn't gives a damn about this meth addict, he cares about the publicity he was going to get by his actions.
Posted by: Oscar | Nov 6, 2007 6:00:35 PM
Leave to a conservative rag like the NYPost to violate the sanctity of a 12-Step meeting room. What can we expect? The Post has been promoting the neo-con, evangelical mantra that 12-Step programs are cult-like and that the only thing that works is a good dose of Jesus. Shame on the Post for publicizing this and a pox on the Post, its owner, his family, the employees and anyone else involved with that outhouse, toilet rag.
Posted by: mike | Nov 7, 2007 4:43:12 AM
Leave to a conservative rag like the NYPost to violate the sanctity of a 12-Step meeting room. What can we expect? The Post has been promoting the neo-con, evangelical mantra that 12-Step programs are cult-like and that the only thing that works is a good dose of Jesus. Shame on the Post for publicizing this and a pox on the Post, its owner, his family, the employees and anyone else involved with that outhouse, toilet rag.
Posted by: mike | Nov 7, 2007 4:43:24 AM
"What You See Here. What You Do Here. What You Hear Here. When You Leave Here, let It Stay Here."
That's the guiding principle of a 12 step meeting, CMA included. Yes, it's true that there are alot of gay men struggling to get clean from crystal meth. The number of CMA meetings and attendance has exploded in the last few years.
The production of methamphetamine here and in Mexico is an ecological disaster.
Crystal is WAY worse than other drugs. It hooks non-addictive types. It seriously fucks with the mind. One of most beautiful men I've ever known, inside and out, killed himself due to crystal. Another guy I know had paranoid delusions about how he was being watched and recorded by tiny cameras planted everywhere, even after he quit.
Providing the info to the 'reporter' was against this principle. Richard Johnson and Page 6 has ALWAYS been dispective about gay-themed gossip items. They always go for the most lurid and tawdry. This is just the latest example.
If you really want to show some outrage, don't buy crytal meth, don't support gay venues, web sites, events, dj's, or promoters who tolerate crystal use, tacitly or otherwise. Use your gay charm to discourage your brothers from picking it up even once. Bad teeth, bad breath, bad skin, bad head- tacky.
Oh and don't buy the Post either. I just pull a copy out of the trash when I really need a Page 6 fix.
Posted by: dc10001 | Nov 7, 2007 8:35:56 AM