08/04/2008
Neil Patrick Harris Crushes on Anderson Cooper, Strives for 'Normalcy'
Neil Patrick Harris talks to OUT magazine for their September issue and expresses his joy over the recent visibility of same-sex couples in the news surrounding the California same-sex marriage legislation ("I think that speaks way more than the 'God Hates Fags' signs."). He also talks about what he believes his own role to be as a visible gay man:
"My job is jester -- not advocate. I’m on a situation comedy responding to [Josh Radnor’s character] Ted Mosby and his wacky adventures -- that’s my job right now. If people want to comment about where I go to dinner, they are welcome to, but it’s not my job to respond to those statements. The Internet stuff threw me for a loop because I didn’t understand where the vitriol was coming from. I thought I had been representing well, and in turn it seemed like I was quickly condemned to step to the plate, and I was fine with that. I’m striving to be an example of normalcy. Because I’m noticed as an actor, people are aware of what’s happening in my life, and that I can’t change, and if I tried to, it’d be an uphill battle. I’d be angry and bitter. I’m a big proponent of monogamous relationships regardless of sexuality, and I’m proud of how the nation is steering toward that. Then you can look around and say, 'I really deeply feel like I’m in love with this person, there are people who feel the same thing, and those models are normal.' The 'normal' couples were sort of in the shadows for the past 15 or 20 years because you sort of needed other people to come forward and speak out."
Harris also confesses to a crush on Anderson Cooper:
"Mmmmmmmm. Anderson. He’s dreamy. Just dreamy. I’ve been a fan of his since season 1 of The Mole. I just thought he was so cool when he talked in this cool, low, secret-agent voice -- 'If you can accomplish this task...' Listen, no one can tell anyone how big their steps should be or when they can take them. You can take issue with someone making overtly denying statements, and you can take issue with people straight-up presenting themselves as someone that they’re not -- because I think that’s kind of shady and not very stand-up. But you can’t fault someone for going through the process at their own time. You can’t. But again -- to speak to the public nature of things -- it is in our capacity to respect the job descriptions that people have separate from the life that they live. And I don’t care about the person on the news…I literally tune in to hear the news. I might find them dreamy, but I don’t really need to know much more about them."
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Posted 10:45 AM EST by Andy Towle in Magazines, Neil Patrick Harris, News | Permalink
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I adore a rich, broad world as well Josh. That's why I read many magazines to satisfy so many of my curiousities.. Top Gear to read about cars, Transformation to read about trannies, Vogue Living Australia to read about homes, BUTT to read about unabashed queers and I'd read OUT more often were it to talk more about 'out' people.
Disdain drips from my lips? Call me a fag, but I LIKE reading about out people anywhere I can. I'd offer that the perimeters of out-ness is a rather deep and rich well of subject matter and quite unlimited. If OUT profiled WAY more gay designers, musicians, activists, exiles, politcians, race car drivers, actors.. perhaps their readers would enjoy the stories and photographs more. Have they done a story on you? I'd read it. Certainly it would be fascinating.
I concur -STILL arguing that OUT should possibly focus on out people is an argument we've heard before. But perhaps, that's because reading about out people in a magazine that works an angle about ...out people is quite an obvious (or myopic as you describe) and unexhausted notion. Cheers to them for the popping a homo on the cover. Maybe they'll do it more.
The passion of recoginising those who are out is hardly cliche to those who know few others that are.
Posted by: pickles | Aug 4, 2008 1:35:42 PM
I (heart) NPH, too, especially lately as Dr. Horrible. He looks better than ever. But, um, am I the only one wishing there were a link to the "Chad White is Icarus: Our Favorite Model is Scorching" spread instead...? Yum.
Posted by: Brooks | Aug 4, 2008 2:00:25 PM
No offense to NPH, but most "normal" guys don't wear leather pants that probably cost several thousand dollars.
Who wants to be normal? When I see online descriptions where people define themselves as normal, I immediately lose interest. It's the same as saying, "I'm average." I prefer something beyond that.
Posted by: Paul R | Aug 4, 2008 2:19:23 PM
Off the exact topic but filed under celebrities we admire, even if nongay: prayers, good thoughts, whatever should be offered up for the magical Morgan Freeman who is in serious condition after a car accident.
Posted by: Michael Bedwell | Aug 4, 2008 2:40:58 PM
HOLY SHIT!!!! AN ACTUAL GAY MALE ON THE COVER OF OUT. CHECK HELL FOR FREEZER BURN!!!
Posted by: PeKeMo | Aug 4, 2008 2:47:18 PM
Paul: he's maybe rich normal rather than poor normal.
Posted by: hambone | Aug 4, 2008 2:56:23 PM
Okay, no for my serious comment. I don't think that NPH is saying "normalcy" and monogamy is the best option. I think that what he's saying is that for such a long time a lot of focus on homosexuality (what you saw of it) was promiscuity and other lack of commitments. He just wants people to know that there are more "conventional" gays and lesbians out there than just the "Queer As Folks" sort.
Posted by: PeKeMo | Aug 4, 2008 2:57:13 PM
"I’m a big proponent of monogamous relationships regardless of sexuality, and I’m proud of how the nation is steering toward that." Amen, NPH! I love that he "gets" that he's an example as an out man rather than one who damns convention and acts like a spoiled brat.
I'm not surprised there are comments attacking NPH for mentioning 'normalcy'. Those afraid of "normal" must be carrying around heaps of shame for things they did and now want other gays to affirm as acceptable behavior. Sorry, but not all of us believe in "anything goes" or see "gay" as a free pass to be a lecherous, irresponsible, PR-seeking freak show.
Posted by: queendru | Aug 4, 2008 3:18:08 PM
I like Neil Patrick Harris fine and it's cool that a major out star agreed to do OUT (I am willing to be plenty of gay people who are out, not that there are many, in Hwood don't "do" gay mags), but I was turned off by the normal-baiting. I thought his attempt to be seen as rugged and straight-ish was off-putting, and the comment about being proud our country is moving toward monogamy (???) to be both debatable and too conservative for me. (Even though I'm also not thrilled when gay men speak as if having open relationships are the "norm," either) So..adding it all up, I don't love it, but I'm not on a rant. :0)
Posted by: Matthew Rettenmund | Aug 4, 2008 3:38:49 PM
Josh, honey?
It's called Out. K? Got it? Do I need to send over the braille menu?
Posted by: Br!on | Aug 4, 2008 3:41:20 PM
QueenDru, what makes you think I would 'fear' normalcy simply by taking issue with the undeserved perception of virtue that seems to automatically accompany it? Oh you're right, I must be just so shameful for all the horrible slutty things I must have done to have a different opinion from yours.
As far as relationships go, I have never had one that wasn't monogamous. But of course, my personal life isn't really what we're talking about here.
To hear a gay celebrity, or anyone in fact, say they "strive to be normal" when there is absolutely nothing inherently positive about being normal is just sad. Why would you strive to be ordinary if you are extraordinary? It reeks of self-loathing, to be honest, and this is coming from a guy who in almost every role I see him play is the epitome of some average, everyday heterosexual man oogling at boobs and whatnot. It seems acting like a straight man may extend to his personal life as well, hence his need to "strive" to be normal. If he were simply that way to begin with, why such effort?
The fact is, if you believe something is positive or negative, you need to argue it on its own merits. Saying something should be aspired to because its "normal" is a terrible reason. I happen to think there are tons of positive things about being monogamous, but not one of them would be because its 'normal.' That is classic herd-mentality bullshit. And as gay people, who by definition will NEVER be completely 'normal' (so stop trying), we should be the first to recognize that.
Posted by: Wes | Aug 4, 2008 3:51:18 PM
sigh...... I loves me some NPH. and he's so hot in that cover pic. Rawr!!
Posted by: sparks | Aug 4, 2008 4:55:48 PM
<3 <3 <3
Posted by: thin mint | Aug 4, 2008 5:11:13 PM
Man do I heart him. If only I was a gay man or he was a straigt man...or a lesbian woman. *Le sigh*
Posted by: genevieve | Aug 4, 2008 5:45:59 PM
From what I'm reading (and have read before elsewhere), there seems to be this association of being a heterosexual with being monogamous, and being gay with being non-monogamous. I personally believe that monogamy and non-monogamy are human traits, not necessarily tied to any one sexuality.
I keep seeing the argument that because a person is gay, he should be ashamed for preferring a monogamous relationship, because (and I'm ad-libbing a little here) "gays are different than straights, and should embrace the sexual freedom that comes with being different." This may not be a majority view, but I've seen the argument a lot over the past decade or so. (I'm sure it's gone on longer, but I'm only 25, and only started reading gay publications around 14 or 15.) I feel that I'm seeing something similar in some of the above comments, too, and I don't agree with it. I believe that gay men, bi men, trans men, and hetero men are all equal in their relationship desires. Having anonymous sex or "open" relationships isn't just a gay thing, it's a human thing. I don't understand why the gay community fights hard to establish itself as equal to other humans, and yet tries to separate itself like this. For every man who likes to sleep with a new man each night, there is a man who likes to sleep with a new woman each night. I don't understand why many members of the gay community are trying to make it "our thing" to sleep around or have open relationships or flaunt our sexual fetishes (leather, S&M, etc.) You find that kind of behavior regardless of gender or sexuality.
I'm sorry if the above comment sounds weird. I guess I'm injecting my feelings of alienation from the gay community a little bit. I mean, I'm a gigantic comic book and video game nerd, I like some sports, I prefer to exercise with my dog instead of going to the gym for hours, I like guys, and if I do decide to look for a relationship, I want it to be an honest, monogamous one. Based on what society and my own community tells me, I'm not gay. Or, I'm "trying to be straight."
That's why I'm glad I have someone like NPH to relate to. Yeah, I don't like the use of the word "normal", either (brings back bad memories of the whole "SAG" crap Lance Bass was talking about.) Nothing is "normal", just usual or common. He could have picked his words better. But I like that his sexuality is just a part of him, instead of his defining point. I've liked him as an actor since Starship Troopers, and I hope he sticks around in the acting community for a long time.
Posted by: kybarsfang | Aug 4, 2008 7:40:17 PM
Yeah, I flinched a little at the "normal" comment at first, too. But I think I was wrong to - it was a mistaken, knee-jerk reaction.
The thing is, an out gay man just ISN'T "normal" in the, well, normal sense of the word. To present a gay life (any kind of gay life) as a form of normalcy is necessarily to call into question assumptions about what is considered normal.
To be gay and out is itself a form of subversion. How conservatively you dress or how many people you fuck doesn't really change that one way or the other.
Posted by: thin mint | Aug 4, 2008 8:03:52 PM
Hmm, I'm more interested in reading the article on how Manhunt has destroyed gay culture.....
Posted by: Timothy B | Aug 4, 2008 8:35:59 PM
Thanks for commenting.
I must admit that seeing the quote they chose for the cover made me worry. 'Striving to be an example of normalcy'. It seemed like that was my personal soapbox. My crusade.
But when questioned about my thoughts on being seen as some sort of role model, I could really own champion what I knew - my own personal bubble of a world. The social scene in L.A. is remarkably wild. I see lots of people partying hard with crazy frequency. Which is all good, it's just not me. I like a good night out or adventure as much as the next guy, but I find myself most often at home watching game shows, or cooking dinner with David, or going to the moving picture show. Or sushi. Love the Sushi. Point is, I'm just not that hardcore. The candid photos of me on the web are usually from the farmer's market or the dog park.
I just responded to the question based on my own personal experience. Normal is indeed a tricky word. I meant no condemnation. Truly. Eccentricity is something I actively seek out and adore.
Thanks. Neilcrest out.
n
Posted by: Neil | Aug 4, 2008 10:42:08 PM
He kind of looks like Luke Perry in the cover picture.
Posted by: Laura | Aug 4, 2008 11:14:18 PM
Neil, thanks for responding here (and for the great interview!). If you've read this blog much, you probably already know how much folks here love to over-analyze things. It's ironic that one of the topics you touched upon in the interview was having your words miscontrued or misinterpreted.
Anyway, your work as Dr. Horrible is brilliant but I also have to toss out some kudos for your Sesame Street appearance and your starring turn (immortalized in a YouTube clip) as Tobias in the Sweeney Todd concert. :D
P.S. Any chance you and John Barrowman can do something musical together? Pretty please? ;-)
Posted by: RJ | Aug 4, 2008 11:22:17 PM
Very hot!
Posted by: Alexsander | Aug 5, 2008 12:15:38 AM
Why is it so hard to just let people be whatever they are? Whenever my friends scold me for not being 'gay' enough I tell them I didn't come out of one closet just to go into another.
Posted by: Craig | Aug 5, 2008 12:23:35 AM
Eek, a celebrity on the internet!
Commenter Neil, please prove that you are really Neil Patrick Harris by posting the brand of oil that you poured over my nude body on the balcony of that Prague hotel in 2003.
Posted by: thin mint | Aug 5, 2008 1:29:03 AM
I JUST WATCHED HAROLD & KUMAR GUANTANAMO.
NEIL WAS THE SAME GUY (AS AN ACTOR) IN THE FLICK EVEN THOUGH HE WAS AT THE START OF THAT FAT FUCK PEREZ HILTON (MARIO LAVANDERIA...IS THAT CLOTHES WASHER IN ENGLISH?) WAS OUTING NEIL.
HERE IS ONE GUY THAT DIDN'T DO THE BULLSHIT LINDSAY LOHAN AND DYKE RONSON PUBLICITY STUNT.
MARIO SHOULD BE HUNG OUT TO DRY FOR WHAT HE DID TO NEIL.
THANK G_D NEIL IS CONFIDENT AND NOT CAUGHT UP IN THE HOLLYWOOD BULL FUCKING SHIT.
PAY ATTENTION TO THIS MAN. I FOR ONE, AM VERY ANGRY AT MARIO LAVANDERIA FOR PUSHING NEIL AND ANYONE ELSE TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET. HE TRIED WITH TOM CRUISE, JAKE G. AND MATTHEW MC...I HAVE TO BELIEVE HE GOT SHOT DOWN HARD.
NEIL, LOVED YOU IN THE H&K MOVIES AND HOW I MET MY MOTHER. CARRY ON BROTHER!
Posted by: MELOSH | Aug 5, 2008 3:24:30 AM
Neil,
Thanks for responding!
To Craig and Kybarsfang, I don't think there's such a thing as the "proper" way to be gay. Oh, wait, I do. I think it's being more tolerant and accepting of variance--especially sexual. I agree with Kybarsfang that monogamy isn't a hetero trait. It's just that the mainstream gay movement puts it on a pedestal lately (perhaps as a result of marriage being such a hot button issue). I don't know why the gay movement can't remain about adults being free to express themselves sexually and emotionally as they see fit.
It's funny because going back to Neil's comment, I'm pretty similar. I don't party so much. Even when I go out with friends, a wild night is staying out till 2am and splurging on a cab. But I just feel like I struggle with understanding how we all deal with the coming out process and dealing with shame only to shame each other when someone else's gayness doesn't mesh with our own. How about a little more "laissez faire?"
Posted by: Alex | Aug 5, 2008 7:34:18 AM