06/16/2009
Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno Does GQ's First Nude Cover
Sacha Baron Cohen as his gay Austrian TV reporter Bruno does GQ's first nude cover. The article inside is a "question and answer" style advice column chock-full of meant-to-offend Bruno advice. Images by Mark Seliger. More at GQ.
Here are a few samples:
Dear Brüno,
Is it okay to “manscape” down there?
It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though—yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching. If Brüno didn’t get his schmutziger arschenhaller bleached twice a month, his shtinker vould resemble Dizzy Gillespie during a trumpet solo. In Austria anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Indeed, ex-chancellor Kurt Waldheim vas elected on ze back of a prishtine anus. Zere are added benefits to getting ze bleaching—on my last session, mein beautician, Klaus, found ze long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.
Dear Brüno,
If forced to choose: Dolce or Gabbana?
Gabbana. Dolce is bald, so zere’s no hair to grab hold of.
Dear Brüno,
How would you define “Obama style”?
Firstly, ich vant to say zat I find Obama an inspiration—it gives me great hope zat, after years of struggle, someone can at last get to ze White House, despite being incredibly hot. On ze other hand, it’s slightly disappointing that he needed zat beard, Michelle, to help him—but vone shtep at a time. In terms of his style, he perfectly bridges Serious und Sexy...Oval Office und Oval Orifice.
Dear Brüno,
What do you sleep in?
In reality, ich sleep in a seaweed body wrap under a Zac Posen Navy-Cut Nightshirt. In mein dreams, ich sleep naked in a giant reed basket drifting slowly down ze Nile, cradled in ze arms of Daniel Radcliffe.
Dear Brüno,
The United States military is constantly trying to update its battle gear in the field. Are there ways you would modify the current uniform?
In mein country it’s verboten for ze soldiers to shtup each other—as ein result, to keep ze cravings at bay, over 80 percent of ze Austrian army vear Dickorette patches as part of zeir uniform. Army uniforms have to change; camo zese days ist ein total nicht nicht. I mean come on, it hasn’t been on ze runvays for over fourteen seasons now! For spring-summer 2010, ich vould put ze U.S. Army in bright pastels und slogan T-shirts, stuff like “Soldier Boy” or “Shoot Me from Behind.”
Full cover (possibly NSFW), AFTER THE JUMP...
Posted 9:58 AM EST by Andy Towle in Film, Magazines, News, Sacha Baron-Cohen | Permalink
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Three gay teens were murdered because of this article.
Posted by: crispy | Jun 16, 2009 10:18:53 AM
as a gay man, i think this sets back our cause, it doesn't look like his photo mates are comfortable either. Enough, wasn't it enough to put your ass in Eminem's face?
Posted by: cd | Jun 16, 2009 10:24:14 AM
Yawn. Next!
Posted by: rich | Jun 16, 2009 10:40:14 AM
@CD: Come on now, giving the military "Dickorette" patches is funny.
Posted by: Strepsi | Jun 16, 2009 10:43:03 AM
Would GQ magazine put an actually effeminate gay man on the cover? NO.
This movie is going to be very popular and will set off a wave of anti-gay bigotry and violence.
Posted by: Bill | Jun 16, 2009 10:50:01 AM
the anal bleaching jokes are hysterical .... pretensious arty fashion types gay are ripe for ridicule and here they are getting it --- of course he also uses Bruno to expose bigotry - a genius.
I tend to think those protesting them most in these comments may resemble or embrace what he is making fun of and thus miss the lol's from the satire.
Posted by: RJP3 | Jun 16, 2009 10:53:16 AM
To those who think this film will cause a wave of anti-gay bashing: do you also think video games cause school shootings?
Posted by: Gregoire | Jun 16, 2009 11:02:57 AM
"Would GQ magazine put an actually effeminate gay man on the cover?"
Does Kanye count?
Posted by: crispy | Jun 16, 2009 11:08:14 AM
yay! Sasha Baron Cohen RULES!!
Can't WAIT to see the movie.
Posted by: drooster | Jun 16, 2009 11:19:03 AM
I found it funny. It's just that I'm afraid many out there won't see it as the joke that it is.
Posted by: Jedd | Jun 16, 2009 11:19:58 AM
Good god. A bunch of up tight twats in here today.
Posted by: Tralfaz | Jun 16, 2009 11:35:25 AM
Um, if you're going to see a Sasha Baron Cohen movie, most likely you're going to see it as the joke it is.
I don't remember a wave of anti-foreigner violence after Borat.
Posted by: Gregoire | Jun 16, 2009 11:37:20 AM
Sacha Baron Cohen (got to be the gayest name eva) and his tv show has been on MTV pretty darn often since around 2000--all these characters are well known--Bruno, Borat--to anyone with cable under twenty-five. So whatever you feel Bruno is inspiring, it's not going to be new. Bruno is satire aimed at what drives American homophobia and misogyny--fear of the feminine, fear of refinement, fear of the artistic, fear of the European.
Posted by: maxx | Jun 16, 2009 11:45:56 AM
actually MAXX I think Bruno does a bit more than just aim at the fear of the feminine, fear of refinement, fear of the artistic, fear of the European - it does that while also pointing out the laughable extremes of the Feminine Male, The "Refined" (pretense), The "Artistic" (full of themself), and the European condescending attitude.
Posted by: RJP3 | Jun 16, 2009 12:07:27 PM
No, sorry. Sacha Baron Cohen's show has never been shown on MTV. Did you want to try again?
Posted by: crispy | Jun 16, 2009 12:08:47 PM
@Maxx
I wish what you said about Bruno being satire was true. I remember coming out of the Borat movie, though, and being...well...really disappointed. It seemed that he had a real opportunity to make some serious social commentary there and it just degenerated into farce and juvenile jokes about naked wrestling and beastiality.
Was it funny? You bet. Was it relevant satire? Meh.
What I'm hoping Bruno is not is just a series of gay jokes. As a minority, I personally get to make fun of that minority. But if you're not part of said group and you're going to send it up, you better have a fucking awesome message behind it than just going for cheap laughs.
Posted by: LD | Jun 16, 2009 12:15:11 PM
Can gay men think on their own?
It's amazing gay men's ability to recite word for word every wrong and bigoted prejudice haterosexuals have of gay people. Gay men can't seem to think on their own in this regard. Everything they know about "homosexuality" comes directly from heterosexuals.
Posted by: Bill | Jun 16, 2009 12:16:16 PM
I'll just repeat what someone wrote here last week on a SBC thread, especially in regards to comments like Tralfaz':
I'm not outraged, I'm not disturbed, I'm not angry at SBC's stunt, I'm really not. I'm BORED because he's a one-trick pony, the Christopher Guest of Europe, doing the same shtick over and over and....
If SBC really had balls, his next movie would be called "Hymie", about Hymie, a greedy Jewish banker, who along with his big hooked nose, curly hair and constant use of "Oy vey", kvetches his way through life, plotting to steal Christian babies and install a Jewish run world government, avoiding anything physical because we all know that Jews can't play sports. Now *that* would be ballsy.
Yeah, hell'd freeze over before he'd do something like that, easier to do that boring routine with The Gays.
Posted by: Henry Holland | Jun 16, 2009 12:21:16 PM
Had to think a bit as to why I don't laugh at the bit? Hmmm. for the same reason I don't laugh at Pauly Shore or H Stern, none of them are funny!!
Posted by: david stewart | Jun 16, 2009 12:25:08 PM
Had to think a bit as to why I don't laugh at the bit? Hmmm. for the same reason I don't laugh at Pauly Shore or H Stern, none of them are funny!!
Posted by: david stewart | Jun 16, 2009 12:26:32 PM
Sasha Cohen is making it more acceptable for straights to ridicule gays through Bruno. Millions who will never see the film will in fact see the promotional materials that are everywhere. These of course will adversely affect gays in many ways, including in the voting booths. Straights who feel " a little uncomfortable about gays getting married" or serving in the military, or having job protection, will decide that they do not really want civil rights for Bruno and his ilk. With world-wide distribution, this movie will do sserious harm all over the place. Shame on you , Sasha.
Posted by: Drake | Jun 16, 2009 12:30:47 PM
Sigh.
Another nudie post on Towleroad, but...
...still nothing on the Dustin Lance Black xx pictures and scandal.
Pathetic.
I thought this was a gay news site.
While I can understand not posting the photos...no discussion about the FIRST gay celeb sex tape?? Really?? Nothing??
Just more straight actors and soccer players, I guess.
Yawn.
Posted by: alan | Jun 16, 2009 12:43:13 PM
I'm starting to think Drake is part of the marketing team for this movie. His hysterical posts are as funny as the trailer.
Posted by: crispy | Jun 16, 2009 12:51:03 PM
Hilarious. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a bitter, old queen. This is definitely laughing with the gay community, not against it.
Posted by: Ryan | Jun 16, 2009 12:58:28 PM
Ryass, you can't laugh "with" the gay community when the gay community isn't laughing.
Nice try though. Enjoy the view from the back of (or should I say "under") the bus.
Posted by: dezboy | Jun 16, 2009 1:08:50 PM