Gay Seniors | Ian McKellen | News

Watch: Ian McKellen Would Like You to Help Lonely Older People


Ian McKellen speaks out for a cause that's too often forgotten — loneliness among the elderly.

It's not a specifically gay phenomenon, but for aging LGBT in the U.S. there's S.A.G.E.

Watch his PSA for Age UK...AFTER THE JUMP...

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  1. cruel.

    Posted by: TANK | May 5, 2010 7:44:24 PM

  2. Heh, in the gay community we are old simply past 40. And God forbid if you are that old and don't look like George Clooney or Hugh Jackman, then you truly are dead to the gay community as far as most are concerned.

    We don't like to admit it but know it to be true that if a guy is older than 40 and he isn't deemed hot enough to fuck (who cares about any accumulated wisdom right?), then he's treated like an unseen Dicken's-like spirit.

    Posted by: Ian | May 5, 2010 8:22:46 PM

  3. Yes yes, we're all going to become "gay old" which is thousands of times worse than being regular old blah blah.
    If you're an older gay man maybe you can find some company with another older gay man? Why the hell is that not possible? Oh wait, it is, people are just paranoid and terrified of getting old apparently so we choose to keep talking about how aging is the Worst Thing Ever.

    Posted by: Eric26 | May 5, 2010 9:16:04 PM

  4. Exactly Eric. It's not like there are a shortage of older single gay guys, quite the opposite! But most older gay guys still think they're going to get a 20 something (you know, the 20 somethings that love older gay men...without money)

    Posted by: Marty | May 5, 2010 9:46:05 PM

  5. Old predatory men (gay or straight, but my experience hasn't been with straight), are just disgusting. They're extremely common, too. I don't care how good your body is...if you're old enough to be my dad, get lost. And most of the time, the body isn't good at all on a man past forty (it's vomitous)...but that's aided by their negligence, too. Ewwwwww...and they have that body coldness! When life's ebbing away, and they just want some young guy to suck the life out of (LOL!) to stay warm because their bodies can't produce it on their own. RUN, CHILDREN! RUN! And it's not like they ever score with younger guys (unless they pay for it), anyway...they just turn toxically bitter and alcoholic, dying with no one attending their funeral (but who cares, at that're dead).

    Then again, there are non-predatory older people, too...nice people that just want a conversation. If only they wouldn't refer to black people as "coloreds," though...I'd care a lot more about their accumulated "wisdom".

    Posted by: TANK | May 5, 2010 10:04:03 PM

  6. I concur. Date each other if it's a problem and stop scamming on twinks. Meanwhile, most cultures on Earth don't throw their elders away in nursing homes so that is something to consider.

    Posted by: Glynn Beck | May 5, 2010 10:04:55 PM

  7. Marty answered your point Eric26, sadly (and embarrassingly) too many of the gay men over 40 instead of trying to find either friendship or relationships in their own age range far too often try to go out with men 20 yrs their junior. They believe that gay self-worth is having a 20-something hottie who looks like an underwear model on their arms. It's the same syndrome as straight men and sports cars I suppose.

    On the same token however, getting "older" (past 40) in the gay community shouldn't be underscored and dismissed. Why is it that these older men feel they have to go out trolling for younger gays? It's very true that far too many over 40 gays feel very isolated in their communities as gay bars are centered around usually young-somethings or daddies looking for young-somethings, and gay community centers have most of their groups centered around teens and 20-somethings. A lot of these men "fade away" and then have nothing to do with the gay community. I remember when I was in my 20's and wondering just where so many of the older gays were, it's because they are often dismissed by gay culture.

    Of course that could be layed to blame on the feet of American culture also I suppose. It's well known that American culture dismisses and demeans the thought of getting older, while many european and asian countries revere and give respect towards their elders.

    Since currently still the majority of us gays don't have kids it wouldn't hurt us when we can in SOME way to pay attention to those older, and by that I mean TRUE (over 50-60-70) older gays by taking an interest, helping with yard work if their a neighbor, etc. Since we don't have kids for the most part we need to take care of our own as we age. It's only right.

    Posted by: Ian | May 5, 2010 10:05:58 PM

  8. I don't go by those standards. I know there are TONS of hot guys in their 40's and 50's. But, I have to admit that after that point they kind of get into the old man grossness spot. I wouldn't deem them useless though, that's rather bitchy of the community. Not like society as a whole doesn't really do the same thing to old people period.

    I just hope people realize, especially the bitchy gay twinks who turn down 30 year olds because they're too old, that they'll soon be in the same spot.

    Posted by: BD | May 5, 2010 10:06:20 PM

  9. Tank, I've read a number of your 'comments' on this site over time, but I just have to say this one time you come across as a truly vile & vapid person. I would imagine that when you get older many people will give you a wide berth. The often nasty and insulting things you say about others is FAR more a reflection of yourself, and it often isn't pretty in the slightest.

    Posted by: Ian | May 5, 2010 10:10:50 PM

  10. oh Ian, the secret is to just never read Tank's comments. You have to get used to quickly looking at the commenter's name before you read. Once you see 'Tank' you just skip to the next comment. It's incredibly liberating. The best part is that if he responds to this I'll never know what he says <3

    Posted by: Eric26 | May 5, 2010 10:26:03 PM

  11. Very sad to say, but as a gay man tuning 60 this year I find the comments above very disturbing.

    Believe me, we know we are aging and becoming invisible in the gay community.
    Many of us have lost the most important people in our lives, apart from our families, to AIDS. Of course it is possible to meet new people and to develop friendships. Thankfully most are not as judgemental as some of you posting in this thread.

    It revolts me to read that we are considered by some to be predators, scammers, disgusting, toxically bitter and alcoholic. It hurts to read that younger men might find our bodies "vomitous" and our attitude negligent. It hurts to read that our wisdom is considered dated and out of sync with society.

    You may be surprised to hear that most of us are not interested in men young enough to be our sons. I don't know what else to say. It is just super depressing to read the comments. Thankfully, I have a pretty healthy attitude and am optimistic about the future, in spite of it all.

    As the plaque in the kitchen of my aunt read : Old Age Ain't For Sissies.

    Now I have to go drink my Ovaltine, watch the news and go to bed.

    Posted by: excy | May 5, 2010 10:46:19 PM

  12. Look Ian, elder abuse is a huge problem in the united states and world. Just to check your facts here, it's often assumed that asian culture respects its elderly, but that's not true as elder abuse occurs at the same rate in japan as it does in the united states (and 85% of elder abuse cases are unreported, too). Elder abuse from a cultural perspective enables it to continue, as it's found in every culture. Loneliness is a problem at all stages of life, but particularly people as a result of decreased mobility. When older are targeted for over the phone scams, it's not that they're losing their "minds" to degenerative cognitive disorders, it's that that phone hasn't rung in months, and they're desperate to keep whoever's on the line there. I do care about the issue, and I also find predatory older gay men a real problem.

    Posted by: TANK | May 5, 2010 10:46:44 PM

  13. I'm a hot guy in my late 40's who would love to date someone my own age. But they're mostly gone and have been since the 80's. I occasionally date younger or older and I've never been called "vomitous" (although that word did give me a nice laugh). Does anyone know of a program like S.A.G.E. in Los Angeles? I'd love to help out.

    Posted by: Wil | May 5, 2010 11:17:06 PM

  14. RE: Excy
    First off I have to agree about the younger guy thing in terms of I'm 38 and would practically never even consider dating someone under, say 36. Someone in their early 20's is just too immature culturally for me.

    As to the lack of respect by younger gays towards older gays, I think that's a good deal because gay culture that centers predominantly around gay men in their early to mid-20's is HYPER-sexualized. So many gay men only know how to have relationships that have sexual contexts to them.

    For some, they simply cannot fathom having a kinship type relationship with a gay man who is both older and has no interest in incorporating anything sexual between the two of them. It's alien in some respects for many gays and it's something we need to work on improving upon as a community.

    Posted by: Ian | May 5, 2010 11:20:03 PM

  15. Now that I'm in my eighties, there's nothing I love more than the smooth, tender, shaved and waxed gym bodies of twenty-somethings.

    First, I contact them online where my profile features cleverly retouched photographs of me as captain of my college swim team in 1949. (Luckily speedos don't change much.) Once they arrive at the luxury suite I've rented under an assumed name in a decaying downtown hotel, the devastatingly handsome illegal immigrant I've enslaved with threats of deportation and an endless supply of heroine offers them a drink, while I wait in another room, wringing my withered hands and giggling in a whispery, high, cracked voice.

    Given that the perfect cocktail always contains two of the vintage quaaludes I've been keeping in the freezer since 1975, after that, the rest is easy. I like to dress them in nice slacks, a letter sweater, and saddle shoes before my dear friends arrive. We give the boys proper haircuts and teach them to do the lindy hop to music no one has heard in 60 years. They bend and twirl under the relentless gaze of our bespectacled, yellowed eyes, surrounded by the scent of urine and decay. The cattle prod always banishes any lingering shyness, and they quickly learn to say, "Hey! Any of you studs know how to madison?" and "Come on Pops! My face seats five and my honeypot's on fire!"

    Once those of us who aren't in walkers have all had a dance, my dear friends peel the boys like ripe plums, stroking their firm, blemish-free flesh with shaking fingers crippled by rheumatoid arthritis and stained with many decades of nicotine. We taste the perfect boyflesh with quivering tongues resembling those of the giant possum, or perhaps some intestinal parasite grown to enormous size. We like to flaunt our shrunken penises, which resemble a second navel but for a smell like the finest brie, then slap them in the face with our long, pinkish-grey scrotums which hang almost to our hairless, emaciated knees. If the boy is well behaved, some of us remove our teeth and give him a special treat along with many loving kisses scented by our rotting gums. You haven't lived until you've been injected with meth and sodomized with a 64 oz. bottle of Pepto-Bismol by a guy who really knows how to do it.

    When we're done, we dose them with Metamucil to help keep them regular, tattoo the Geritol logo on their buttocks for a souvenir of our Happy Time together, and dump their unconscious bodies in an alley.

    Posted by: Bryan Harrison | May 5, 2010 11:22:03 PM

  16. When I mentioned other cultures respecting elders I actually meant African and South American, not European and Asian. I'm actually disturbed by the intrinsic racism implied by your statement, Ian.

    Meanwhile, if you are upset by some random comments on a blog, particularly when comment sections on the Internet generally are more snarky, bold, and rude than people are in every day life, you need a therapist, not a friend. I volunteered for Thanksgiving at a Gay Elder Center last year. Two dudes grabbed my penis. One grabbed my butt. Another gave me his number and begged me to call. That = scamming. Maybe if older guys dated each other we'd have role models to look at and stop our own ageism. I have gay friends who are 70+, but not every old person deserves to be treated like an elder.

    Posted by: Glynn Beck | May 5, 2010 11:30:31 PM

  17. "Congratulations" Bryan Harrison, you've managed to make a comment pretty much as vile & vapid as Tank's, no mean feat sadly but apparently your lack of respect for those older than yourself shows you were more than low enough for such a pathetic, insulting and sad task. Tell me, do you belong to the Tea Party by any chance?

    Posted by: Ian | May 5, 2010 11:31:21 PM

  18. "African and South American"

    And you'd still be wrong. Tellin' ya, going by cultural stereotypes enables this grossly underreported crime against the elderly to flourish. There are studies that prove this. Cultures associated with respect for the elderly do not differ in terms of actual elder abuse (the ultimate form of disrespect for the elderly) rates from cultures not associated with those stereotypes. It makes no difference.

    "Hey! Any of you studs know how to madison?"


    Posted by: TANK | May 5, 2010 11:39:13 PM

  19. RE: Glynn Beck (gag on the name btw)
    1. Any intrinsic racism your reading is all in ur mind friend, I don't have a racist bone in my body & have at 1 point or another dated about every color in the male spectrum.
    2. I'm not "upset" on a blog, I'm trying to converse and educate what is coming across as a number of frankly bitchy twinks who are being ageist. What do u propose, that instead of conversing on the net I buy plane tickets and personally visit them (snark)?
    3. Don't need a Therapist, I AM a Therapist thanks so much :)
    4. It sounds to me like you have let ur volunteer experience color and/or scar your perceptions of older gays. I know plenty who are wonderful, witty and respectful gents to be around.
    Peace ~

    Posted by: Ian | May 5, 2010 11:39:46 PM

  20. Aw... IAN. Come on... It's called "satire." I was depending on guys who might have gotten beyond the Disney version of "Gulliver's Travels" to actually encounter Jonathan Swift. Do you think Evelyn Waugh wrote "The Loved One" in praise of the funeral industry?

    I am touched, though, by your concern for people older than myself. There are, after all, not all that many of them. Sir Ian and I have more than a fondness for language in common.

    Posted by: Bryan Harrison | May 6, 2010 12:07:59 AM

  21. Was he talking about Madonna?

    Posted by: Brad | May 6, 2010 12:09:13 AM

  22. I'm 43 and LOVES IT.....Takes care of myself and have a great support system of gay and straight friends whom we all support and watch out for each other.

    Network of friends and family is very important!

    And for you Fags who have a problem with 40 somethings. DUMB BITCHES hope your faggot Godmother you get to be 40!

    Posted by: Chris | May 6, 2010 12:27:57 AM

  23. Tank you very much, Tank. And what makes you and your ilk think that you are so irresistible to guys 40+? I'm 60 and wouldn't waste a nanosecond on your ass. In fact, there are plenty of alcoholic and tweeking folks in the 20-40 range who are sadly just taking up space on the planet. I hope you don't find yourself, Tank, et al., at 40 believing yourself to be off the meat rack. Because I think being attractive grows exponentially (for many reasons you don't have the capacity to understand) as our gay brothers age.

    Posted by: Modern Meet | May 6, 2010 12:33:56 AM

  24. Let me put it out there that I am 47 and though I would PREFER to meet guys of my generation, I get hit on almost exclusively by guys much younger than myself, and I don't even have money.

    Posted by: Rick S. | May 6, 2010 1:08:00 AM

  25. You Guys crack me up, but some of you need to relax a little, satire breeds self reflection too (Tank just has a little harmless 'tard' in him). Personally I loath anyone younger than 40. Most are self-absorbed, mean-spirited, self-justifing, elitist jerks that have a huge sense of entitlement and zero compassion. Give me a guy with a gut, a worldly ease, and a good sense of humour, and if he looks a little like get gifts every day!

    Posted by: booka | May 6, 2010 2:34:38 AM

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