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Paper:
England Lost World Cup Because Wayne Rooney Shaved His Chest

Rooney

The latest Biblical conspiracy from the Daily Mail:

"According to the Bible, in exchange for his incredible strength, God instructed Samson that he should never cut his hair. But after falling in love with Delilah, to whom he revealed the secret of his powers, she conspired to have his hair cut off and he was captured and killed by the the Philistines.  [Wayne] Rooney (below) is normally seen with a much hairier chest and for yesterday's match he had also abandoned his normal stubble for a clean-shaven look. His new set of aerodynamics bore no dividends however as he failed totally to recapture the form that saw him score 34 goals in the Premiership last season. He looked tired, his first touch was poor and one wild shot on the run ended embarrassingly wide of the target."

(via outsports)

Rooney

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Comments

  1. +1 on the grooming...he cleans up very nice!

    Posted by: chris | Jun 29, 2010 11:44:16 AM


  2. I much prefer the furrier version myself. Woof. He's gone from a sexy man to a hairless boy. This should be a lesson to all you hairy guys out there.... ;-)

    Posted by: Will | Jun 29, 2010 11:49:28 AM


  3. England lost because they suck and I enjoyed every minute of watching them humiliated!

    Posted by: Patric | Jun 29, 2010 11:50:38 AM


  4. SOOOOO much better with the hair....just saying.

    Posted by: z0rt | Jun 29, 2010 11:52:35 AM


  5. I just want to poke him in the stomach until he giggles.

    Posted by: crispy | Jun 29, 2010 11:58:29 AM


  6. He is way hotter with the hairy chest.

    Posted by: brian | Jun 29, 2010 12:04:11 PM


  7. I was very surprised when he took off his shirt and saw he'd shaved his chest. It looks slightly ridiculous when you see his really hairy forearms.

    Posted by: Henry Holland | Jun 29, 2010 12:08:16 PM


  8. I'm going to vote for sans hair. I know people are going to flock to his hairy chest because being bear is the thing now, but pale English lads always look better shaven.

    Posted by: Gregoire | Jun 29, 2010 12:14:46 PM


  9. proof you should never shave your chest. fur on the chest is beautiful and masculine and sexy.

    Posted by: Alejandro | Jun 29, 2010 12:21:36 PM


  10. Hairy chests look much hotter.

    Posted by: Eugene | Jun 29, 2010 12:26:29 PM


  11. Wow....he needs to look at that armpit hair....just saying.

    Posted by: Piper | Jun 29, 2010 12:37:37 PM


  12. I am totally undecided, and need more pictures (hirsuit and shaved) to make up my mind.

    Posted by: Jamie | Jun 29, 2010 12:40:11 PM


  13. Guess he's trying look younger? LOL I'm happy they lost =)

    Posted by: Joseph | Jun 29, 2010 12:53:31 PM


  14. Shaving that face and chest was a SIN and an ABOMINATION!

    Posted by: TampaZeke | Jun 29, 2010 1:01:44 PM


  15. Come to think of it, Frank Lampard, one of the few England players who had a stellar game, was sporting a lovely thicket of chest hair when he stripped off his jersey at the end of the match.

    But it's not like I paused my DVR and stared at him for 20 minutes. Or took pictures of the screen. Or mailed him my underwear.

    Posted by: crispy | Jun 29, 2010 1:12:07 PM


  16. ... that's where that thong came from.

    Posted by: petes | Jun 29, 2010 1:24:16 PM


  17. Another reason to ignore this sport: dumbasses writing about players and their shaved chests.

    He looks better all hairy. yum.

    Posted by: Shane | Jun 29, 2010 1:38:20 PM


  18. That's too bad, now he looks like every other hairless twink. Yuck, stubble bumps. Bad move

    Posted by: Dairyqueen | Jun 29, 2010 1:55:42 PM


  19. There is no question or doubt, he looks much better with the hair on his chest!! It is natural and it is manly. He looks bad in the second picture...just bad.

    Posted by: Rann | Jun 29, 2010 2:35:39 PM


  20. prefer the hair, but i'd happily enjoy his legs on my shoulders either way, yum!

    Posted by: jayzeenc | Jun 29, 2010 2:37:39 PM


  21. He now looks like a pre-pubescent child. I hope he'll wake up to how un-hot he is now.

    Posted by: Joseph SingerJ | Jun 29, 2010 2:39:19 PM


  22. I'm a big fan of smooth twinky Northern European boys but even I think it's an abomination that he shaved that hot chest.

    Posted by: Buster | Jun 29, 2010 2:49:35 PM


  23. ,,,, unless, of course, it was removed by a teammate in a hot, late-night, too-many-pints, don't-talk-about -it-the-next-monring shaving scene.

    Posted by: Buster | Jun 29, 2010 2:52:48 PM


  24. I greatly prefer him furry, mmmmmmm....

    Posted by: Hank | Jun 29, 2010 2:57:45 PM


  25. I'm not a big fan of religious conspiracy theories, but in this case they may be correct

    yuck

    please. don't. shave. chest. hair.

    Posted by: neverstops | Jun 29, 2010 4:59:03 PM


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