1. J says

    I think this is bad taste,really.

    Does he have to come out publicly? Who does he think he is?

    And don’t give me that “I want to help others” BS.

    I understand that they can help others and generally make the world a better place.

    But these celebs are not saints.And they don’t do enough with their altruistic work.They don’t give a lot of money and they only do the easy work : lending name,face and voice to causes.Not going out there to do the dirty tough work.

    It just screams of hypocrisy.

  2. WayneMPLS says

    @J I don’t think it is in bad taste, there are a lot of people who look up to this guy. In the super macho world of sports and its institutionalized homophobia, he has done more than you know by this one act.

  3. J says

    Oh god! What do I say in response to you,Wayne?

    Why do we need a celeb to justify things? TO be the leader in change? Because they can.Yes I know that.

    But what about educating people about life and letting them realize that being gay is not wrong and that in the UK,it is not a crime to have sex with a person of the same-sex or to have a relationship with a person of the same-sex too?

    The UK has fully decriminalize homosexuality and science says that it’s not wrong to be gay,I think that’s enough for the UK homos to use to be themselves and make the most out of life.

    Again,this gay cricketer is not a saint for sure.It’s opportunistic.

  4. Jeremy says

    @J, and what have you done that is so altruistically wonderful it entitles you to crap all over other people?

    I came out in 2001, when I was 15. At that point, the ONLY people I’d heard of who were officially out were Ellen Degeneres and Ian McKellen. It was a horrifically lonely time for me, and if I’d known that a young gay athlete at the height of his career was out and proud, it would have made my life much, much less isolating, depressing, and hopeless.

    These people, whether you like it or not, are beacons of hope to all the gay kids out there who are just coming out–or even for the ones who are out and proud but lonely and isolated. All the family acceptance in the world doesn’t negate the feeling that you’re literally the only one. Actions like this do.

    So please keep your ego to yourself and either make the world better, or STFU and let us do it without you.

  5. Bob R says

    Personally, I find what this young athelete has done quite courageous. I find J quite petty and jealous and the question J should answer is what has he personally done for the cause other than spout off anonymously on a gay blog?

    We need more courageous young men who play professional sports to come out and serve as role models. We need petty little people like J to just grow up and not criticize someone who, in their own way, is trying to make a difference.

    That being said, I wish Steven Davies every success and applaud his courage. I’m quite appreciative and proud to have you as part of our community. J, not so much.

  6. J says

    To Jeremy,

    I am not crapping all over others.I’m being criticial and skeptical.

    You said :
    “It was a horrifically lonely time for me, and if I’d known that a young gay athlete at the height of his career was out and proud, it would have made my life much, much less isolating, depressing, and hopeless”.

    And :
    “or even for the ones who are out and proud but lonely and isolated”.

    An athlete coming out won’t change your or others’ life of loneliness and isolation,you know?
    YOU DO! YOU have to do something about it.

    By the way,what country are you from?

    And to Cory,just because I am critical and skeptical doesn’t make me a troll.I am not going to mindlessly praise and worship anyone who goes out to “help” gays because there is a good chance these people are insincere about it and are exploiting it.

    I notice,that when a straight male celeb publicly supports gay marriage or gays,many of us gays just go gaga over them when you don’t even know whether they’re being honest about it.

  7. J says


    “We need more courageous young men who play professional sports to come out and serve as role models. We need petty little people like J to just grow up and not criticize someone who, in their own way, is trying to make a difference.”

    Serve as role models? People who become athletes do so because they want to play sports,not to become role models.

    I prefer what Drew Barrymore,the actress,chose as the tagline of one of her films : “Be Your Own Hero”.

    As I’ve said before,celebrities can be of help,but I think it’s important for individuals to find their own voice and not be dependent on society for their self-esteem.

  8. Jeff says

    @J, you don’t need to be a troll to act like one. You also don’t need to be a human with with hints of empathy, but you can act like one. Or, I guess, you can’t.

    Moving on to something worthy of my time: I fully respect any major sports figure who comes out, especially if it empowers many other gay athletes to come out. Young straight (and gay) people look up to sports figures, actors, and even politicians. They always have, and they always will. It’s a fact. And when gay leaders come out, they make the world more accepting. Win-win.

  9. J says

    Thinking about it,what’s next for Steven Davies? More media coverage : Magazine covers,talk show appearances,public appearances at celeb events,more articles,more fame and money….

    I think HE,personally is going to benefit from his coming out.Not the gays.After all,us gays have so much visibility these days.Not a single day goes by without an article concerning us.That will help the homosexual community.

    It seems to me that you guys think I’m hating on him.I’m not.I’m just critical on these celebrity goddessy acts.

  10. Derek Pearce says

    Oh J, I assume you’re not out to anyone in your family, or any of your friends, or any of your coworkers? You just go for hookups and keep it all on the down-low to yourself? Where have you been the last 20 years?

  11. Mike says

    It’s not easy to lie about it. My first year of college i had a str8 roomate and felt the need to lie about it. Turns out they put it together and hate you even more cause you lied.

  12. J says


    Yes! I am not out to anyone in my life.The stacks are against me : I don’t live in a Western country,you know?

    But I don’t go for hook ups and keep it all on down the low because I’m single and celibate(for health reasons)

    Oh and the last 20 years? I was just a little one!

  13. Derek Pearce says

    Well J that explains a lot. I won’t judge you as you don’t live in a Western country, it’s understandable that you’re not out. But by the same token, you shouldn’t judge those of us in the West who DO come out. It’s a case of you-don’t-know-what-you’re-missing. The initial sense of relief, followed by the freedom, is something every gay person on earth deserves.

  14. J says


    I’m not judging him for just coming out,but for doing it publicly because….look at my posts^^^

    “The initial sense of relief, followed by the freedom, is something every gay person on earth deserves.”

    I don’t think so : I don’t want to share my homosexuality with anyone.I want to keep them in the dark.I don’t forgive.

  15. Vikram in Mumbai says

    J, I don’t know where you live or how much you know about cricket, but I doubt there was any celebrity opportunism in Davies coming out. He’s an English cricketer and there is not a vast amount of money chasing English cricketers – footballers, get it all.

    He’s not in the team for the cricket World Cup that’s going on in India at the moment (though he has been part of the national team). He just seems to be a young guy spending some years following his passion and is hardly a major name, outside cricketing circles. And he could easily have continued in them without coming out.

    But he did, and I think that shows sincerity and wanting to be open and knowing it can make a difference through the impact it might have with cricket fans – and sports fans in general. Also keep in mind that the centre for cricket these days is the Indian subcontinent where we’re fighting some basic battles for gay rights.

    So when a cricketer comes out, even he’s not an Indian cricketer, it brings the issue to the attention of a lot of people we might not have otherwise reached or really connected with, exactly at the time we need that most (in fact, apart from being opportune in terms of gay battles, its also great in terms of news, since the World Cup has started here, so the demand for cricket stories is high).

    I’m sure most of this didn’t occur to Davies, but its part of the impact from what he did, and I think that’s great.

  16. ratbastard says

    The more people in positions like him who come out, the better. It really helps dispel stereotyped myths about how gay men are supposed to look, act, talk like,etc.,

    I wish him well.

  17. truthteller says

    People fear what they don’t know. Today they know another gay man and fear has taken another blow!

    Congratulations Steven, you have reclaimed your power and shed light on the darkness that is homophobia.

  18. Chaq says

    I can’t wait for my partner to read this! We’re Australian, and my partner, as well as being a cricket fan, plays for his local club. Despite the many areas in which social awareness of homosexuality has increased in our [metropolitan] society, the sporting world really is still very homophobic. Like the UK and US there are only a handful of out athletes. As cricket is so popular here, I’m hoping this will raise awareness and promote discussion amongst male sports fans, and hopefully one day my partner will feel as welcome and safe to share details of his intimate life with his straight mates at the Club as they do with each other!
    So yeah, good on Steven Davies :)

  19. andypet says

    VIKRAM puts the cricketing aspects brilliantly.

    J is quite wrong.

    There is still a lot of homophobia in the UK even though the legal position has improved. The more people in high profile positions that come out, the easier it becomes for ordinary people in everyday life.

    And as for Davies doing it for selfish reasons – he donated his fee to charity!

  20. Hue-Man says

    The message that comes through loud and clear is one we know well: it’s lonely in the closet. Even more so when you are thousands of miles away from your home and your loved ones for an extended period of time. The pressure to hide the truth from team-mates must adversely affect the performance of these top athletes. Removing this burden reminds me of the infectious grin that Ricky Martin sports in every one of his current photos. The gay role model stuff is icing on the cake.

  21. Rovex says

    J you are being very cynical. The west isnt a gay utopia, there are still a lot of problems for us. Steven Davies stands to gain nothing professionally from this, it can only have a positive effect on his personal life.

    Its stil a risk professionally for sports people to come out. They compete internationally and can go to countries where its illegal to be gay. I happen to know there are at least 2 gay F1 drivers, one rather obviously bearded. They compete in the middle east now. Being openly gay there is not safe.

  22. stu says

    I for one fully and wholly support this young mans decision to come out and be honest.

    He is a young man who would create a stir if he was seen out on the streets of London or elsewhere with another man and he would have faced exposure by the UK press.

    He deserves a right to live his life not worrying about the exposure that his choice of career has on his personal life and the only way to have control of that is to set the agenda.

    Whether he likes it, or those who do or do not follow him like it, or not – he is a famous sportsman in England and the wider world and is a role model to young people – coming out publically is a positive thing – allowing him to live and love honestly.

    Cricket isnt a mega bucks sport in the UK, few of the cricketers (and Davies is not one) are seen on the celeb circuit. He will earn enough to make a living but not the same as footballers.

    I think J is very wrong in his perception of what Davies’ intentions were. I think Davies’ interview with the Telegraph is startingly honest and very touching. I find J’s “BS” comment derogatory and offensive.

    I perceive that J’s comments are less about the honourable and inspiring disclosure that Davies has made and more about his feeling of insecurity wherever he lives that trap him in a situation in which he appears to either choose not to disclose or feels unable or unwilling to disclose. My cynicism of the integrity of J’s comments would go further as I perceive it as lashing out and jealousy that Davies is in a position where he can come out.

    What we should be aiming for as a gay community is to ensure that globally everyone is given the opportunity to be honest about the orientation (including J) but are not required to disclose. This will require many countries to change their attitudes and move ahead in terms of gay rights …

  23. Rowan says

    Woah J, I rant about lady gaga but I do it in jeste, you are showing so much irrational anger for someone who you don’t know and is possibly the least attention seeking sports player in the least attention seeking sport! Huh?! Yeah, look at him, what an attention seeker-you can see the arrogance dripping off.

    Didn’t you hear what he said? Gareth Thomas inspired him. So imagine GT had never come out? He wouldn’t have one so yet and young kids playing cricket would think f*gs wear pink and lisp-‘they aren’t like us!’

    Better still as has been put by Vikram, Cricket is huge in some of the most homophobic places in the World-Australia, India, South Africa and the West Indies.

  24. Rick S. says

    I don’t buy J’s argument that he’s living in some dangerous non-Western country. The fact that he opts not to have sex “for health reasons” (never heard of a condom, J?) is the kicker. He clearly has serious issues.

  25. J says

    There are so many people I have to respond to!!!

    Don’t think I’ll do so to all.Anyway,here’s one to Rick S:

    Did I say DANGEROUS non-Western country? I didn’t!

    As for not having sex for health reasons,it’s partly(or largely) because I have severe acne vulgaris.I cant have the sex I want to have when I have lots of pimple on my chest,back and face.I don’t want to end up bleeding and in pain.And you should know that exchanging these body fluids is unhygienic and dangerous.


    Yes,I know the West isn’t a gay utophia socially and to an extent legally.In fact,ALL countries in the world is made up of homophobes(probably with the exception of The Netherlands and a couple of Northern European countries).

    And yes,I do know it’s risk to come out and put his professional career in jeopardy.Silly of him I say.Where’s his self-respect? I know you collectivists will say oh he’s sacrificing his career by doing good for society bla bla bla,but in the individualistic West,every individual is responsible for the happyness and well being of him or herself.

    I just hate these celebs with god complexes going around telling others to do good when they’re not saints themselves and the public being so gullible by it,mindlessly kissing their asses.

  26. arch says

    I think that the news is great – the more role models the better especially in sport. And by the way cricket is big here in England and huge in India, Sri Lanka, Austalia, Pakistan and parts of the West Indies.

    I had heard one F1 driver and his “girlfriend”, do not know if it is true, as for the other driver never heard about him.

    The big one is football i suspect it is still a few years away and as for US major sports…

  27. says

    The captain of the England & Wales cricket team gave an interview to Attitude magazine a few months ago (and posed naked in a multi-storey car park). He said that he felt cricket didn’t have a homophobic culture, and was fairly sure that cricketers would start coming out soon. Looks like he was right.


  28. Rovex says

    J.. Self respect will come FROM coming out. Sorry, but you really have it backwards.

    As for the F1 drivers, well one is an ex-champion with a rather visible girlfriend, the other is more obviously gay..

  29. arch says


    I agree with your reply to J.

    I have heard about the F1 former champion driver with the high profile “girlfriend”, but who is the “obviously gay” one – must have missed that…

  30. booka says

    I doubt anyone more than myself loaths celebrities, and not because I read about them or saw them on TV. My experiances are personal, one on one. I don’t need to go down the list of their lackings to validate that they are mostly deeply flawed people. That said, some of the few times that these celebrities redeem themselves is when they use their undeserved attention from the masses for a good, and not self serving purpose. I applaud any sports figure that has the balls to come out, as that world has always been a bastion of bigotry. I also truely believe that any person that has NOT come out has absolutely NO right to critique someone that has. Alot of us “Out” Gay men came from horrific situations. We created a better space for ourselves, and supportive enviorn out of sheer courage.The same could be said of how Gay’s faced the challenges of disease and illness, and continue to transcend these difficulties to create a world where we can have the respect and rights so long denighed us. Perhaps it was cathardic for “J” to spout his ill formed views. I hope it helped him. Although,that is the only grace he deserves. “J”‘s judgements are invalid, and he might do well to STFU, and form some kind of a backbone. It is exactly this sort of spineless idiot, standing on the path paved by others bravery, blathering whiney ‘concepts’ of what it is to be Gay, when in fact this pathetic fool hasn’t had the guts to face his own trials. “J”, please don’t make us suffer your comments, until you really have something to say.

  31. Paul Mc says

    @J – did you even read the linking article? As mentioned above he donated the interview fees to charity. NSPCC – A UK child abuse charity.

    When did you become SO cynical? Can’t you see that there is much to cheer abuout this story? No one is asking you to buy subscritpion to Cricket TV. Now move on.

  32. Ish says

    J seems to be young and uninformed, plus he lives in a country where he feels the need to live in the closet. That’s his personal hell, I for one applaud any public figure who decides to share his or her coming out story. It is uplifting for the young gay closeted readers to see that all stereotypes are wrong. Good for Davies!

  33. Jedi says

    I like this debate here between J and… well, the entire Towleroad reader-base.

    As long as it’s civil, the discussions raises some insightful, interesting and engaging points. On both sides.

    But let’s keep it civil, children, and don’t go for the obvious puerile personal attacks.

  34. yadda yadda says

    @ j… youre from the Philippines right? the grammar and syntax sounds very filipino.. and despite acceptance (more like 2nd class citizen acceptance) of the ‘third’ sex in the Philippines.. the majority are still in the closet because of its vicious catholicism.. they even have a new law that you can only buy condoms with a prescription..

    @rovex.. spill the beans man.. please!!!!! just the letters..pretty please? :)

  35. Rovex says

    Ok the first F1 driver is obviosnow. Whenever i see his ‘girlfirend’ on screen i say, ‘oh is mother is with him again’ (she looks older and platic.

    The second got a reputation for crashing a bit last year, and drove for a ‘powerful, subcontinental Asian’ team..

  36. yadda yadda says

    damnit, still not sure about the first one..hmmm.. MH?

    the second one I get, lol, He’s my compatriot.. Hot and also a very good classical pianist.. the shoe fits, Great! :)

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