SF Gay Man Missing After Meeting Stranger Using Smartphone App

Flanary

UPDATE: Flanary has been found SAFE.

Police and relatives are searching for 22-year-old Evan Flanary, who went missing almost a week ago on June 19th after meeting a stranger on an online dating app. Police have not disclosed which app Flanary was using though many people are assuming it was Grindr or something similar.

SFist writes:

According to one commenter on SFAppeal who says she's Flanary's sister, Flanary was last seen on the 400 block of Harrison Street near Fremont Street in SoMa around 5:30 p.m. last Tuesday.

Flanary's mother has set up a website:

This is my son, Evan Flanary, 22, 6ft 1, 160 lbs, blonde/blue wearing blue jeans and gray hoody. Last seen on foot in the mission district in San Francisco on June 19 2012 meeting a stranger from a social phone app contact. This is not like him to disappear. He has no money and his phone has died.

According to reports he was also wearing a "Cal" hat.

Anyone with information should contact the San Francisco Police Missing Persons Department 415-734-3268 or J.D. Berlingeri 541-680-2616 or their local Police Dept. Share this website on Facebook or retweet on Twitter if you can assist. Your assistance is very much appreciated. Thank you.

Comments

  1. Angela Channing says

    It will be interesting to see if the App maintained logs of the communications and gps coordinates. What a shame. We all have done something similar.

  2. Angela Channing says

    It will be interesting to see if the App maintained logs of the communications and gps coordinates. What a shame. We all have done something similar.

  3. Martin C says

    I’m praying for his safe return.

    Cautionary tail. Leave whereabouts on your table, text to self or tell a friend where you are going when it’s not part of the norm, especially when dealing with a complete stranger.

  4. Martin C says

    Doesn’t referring to someone as “Dear” automatically make the person using such a monicker sound like a complete douch bag? Can’t stand bitter gay men that lash out in such a snide manner! Done. I feel better.

  5. Fairy P says

    Agreed, Martin. We’re not judging Theo for his shennanagins at Dory Alley, so he should just probably just keep his tacky little mouth shut – especially when its in association with a missing person.

  6. Angela Channing says

    Thank you Martin C.

    Theo, my statement was to convey empathy because at some point in our lives, we have met someone in a bar, for coffee, or, egads, hooked up. I did not mean to suggest that I was judging Evan. For all we know, he may have taken all of the precautions.

  7. Angela Channing says

    Thank you Martin C.

    Theo, my statement was to convey empathy because at some point in our lives, we have met someone in a bar, for coffee, or, egads, hooked up. I did not mean to suggest that I was judging Evan. For all we know, he may have taken all of the precautions.

  8. Jason says

    What’s scary is that the Diamond Heights murder from less than two weeks earlier seemingly began as a hookup that turned into a murder and robbery. I don’t know if that originated on Grindr (SFPD has been really tight-lipped about any details about the DH Murder) but it certainly seems like it started the same way. There were also two hookup murders in Hayes Valley in 2010 that are unsolved.

  9. John says

    This sorta has me freaked out a little bit because I live within 1000 feet of the Diamond Heights murder victim (thanks to Grindr, I know this). Of course we don’t know who it was, but given the nature of Grindr, it could very possibly be someone very near me.

    You never know who is in the other end of the app or screen or whatever. A friend of mine texted all of us about this Evan guy last week with a reminder to always let someone know where you are going. I used to chuckle at my friend in NYC who sends me emails from time to time with something dramatic as the subject like “IN CASE I END UP IN THE HUDSON” with the address and name of the person he was heading of to hookup with. But I’ll definitely start to do the same.

  10. NaughtyLola says

    *sigh* A lesson all girls learn from an early age: meet in public places, always tell family/girlfriends where you’re going if you have a date, never go anywhere with a stranger.

  11. ed says

    Guys need to think with their heads before they think with their cocks when they’re on these apps. I think its just STUPID to go to some strangers house to have sex at least meet the person up at a public place before you do anything.

  12. Q says

    Something is weird about this. How do they know he was going to meet someone from a social media app? Did he tell someone before he left, but just didn’t tell them who it was or where he was going?

  13. Zlick says

    Yes, it seems there is some missing information. I’d gladly have the information stay missing, and have Evan be found.

    I did this kind of thing exactly once. And while I DID let someone know where I’d be, I knew even then it would be cold comfort if my tiny bit of insufficient caution led police to apprehend my murderer.

    So far be it from me to preach to anyone about this. But it’s scary for obvious reasons … and I hope this does not turn out to be one of those horrible cautionary tales.

  14. tcw says

    I have done “this kind of thing” regularly throughout my 20s. The only bad experiences I’ve had are when the guy turns out to be ugly. I am confident in my ability to judge whether the other man is a murderer in a second or two of eye contact and greetings at his door.

  15. MarkUs says

    Here’s what I don’t get reading about this in other places. His phone was active after he was reported missing and before it died. His mother is stating the detectives are “working on a court order” to get the carrier to hand over the trace data, and presumably to get Grindr records.

    You have Amber’s Law where the authorities basically alert the public and do everything possible for a child because statistics show the majority of children rescued have to be found within 24 hours or the outcome is dire. This guy has been gone over one week and they’re waiting on a court order?

  16. MarkUs says

    Here’s what I don’t get reading about this in other places. His phone was active after he was reported missing and before it died. His mother is stating the detectives are “working on a court order” to get the carrier to hand over the trace data, and presumably to get Grindr records.

    You have Amber’s Law where the authorities basically alert the public and do everything possible for a child because statistics show the majority of children rescued have to be found within 24 hours or the outcome is dire. This guy has been gone over one week and they’re waiting on a court order?

  17. fedorajoe says

    You think you can tell if someone is dangerous within two seconds of meeting him? Ha, you wish. You convince yourself that you are safe, by telling yourself that those who fell prey must have lacked your keen discernment. But you’re fooling yourself.

    Women are taught prudent safety precautions from an early age because they face a higher risk of sexual assault. Men aren’t taught these things. Our culture encourages men to think with their hormones and shrug off the consequences.

    Everybody likes sex, but going to secluded places with perfect strangers is a very high-risk activity that we would do better to avoid. It’s not like your only alternative to Grindr is to join a convent or something. Really, it isn’t.

  18. tcw says

    I don’t rely exclusively on the two seconds’ eye contact and exchange of greetings. I register those things within a larger context (the tone of our virtual exchange, his neighbourhood, the appearance and location of his building) that also feeds my judgment call. In probably 100 such encounters over 10 years, not all sexual, I’ve never had a scare.

  19. Ryan says

    Evan has been found!

    From his mother’s FB page:
    “He was SO SO SO apologetic that he worried about us. He had met a person, they hit it off fabulously, they were down town enjoying all the week’s festivities. The battery in his cell phone died and although he had a charger, it just wouldn’t take the charge. He never noticed the flyers but today he saw his image on a television screen and could NOT believe it. He called me just minutes before the KNTV interview was scheduled to begin, so instead of crying I was grinning like the village idiot!! I love that boy. My dear friend Torsten Hirche is with him as we speak. Love you man! Yay, now I can breathe!!!”

  20. Mike says

    Enough with tsk-tsks. Meeting a guy after a few drinks or on Craigslist or whatever doesn’t tell you much either, and NEWSFLASH!, these apps are getting used a lot and 99.9999% guys are fine. I’m not saying don’t be cautious, but the the scolds around here are tiresome.

  21. theo says

    Glad he was found alive and safe.

    So many nasty replies to my simple comment. Angela, Fairy, Martin: I wasn’t passing judgment, nor trying to be snide. The community should be a little more tolerant of those who don’t want to be lumped in with the Grindr/Craigslist crowd. Sex is great and healthy, and as long as you’re being safe, do what makes you happy. But don’t assume that every single one of us make that choice. We don’t. You should respect my choice just as I respect yours.

  22. says

    So many Monday Night quarter backs.

    We’ve all done things without thinking it through. Stop being preachy. Just because you have a hiccup is NO reason to justify you being hurt. Ridiculous how we blame victims in this society and the people doing the blaming have stains on their sheets as well. STFU!

  23. CollieFlower says

    Anytime a tragic story is shared here, some @$$hat has to insert “well, if only they didn’t do this”
    Really Jesus? because, Jesus, if you’re so enlightened, you Jesus, are not a human being seeing how you’re so perfect, Jesus.

    Instead of commenting on what he shouldn’t have done, something many people, straight-gay- everyone does, we should be putting our focus on him being found safe and sound.

  24. AJ says

    Hoping for his safe return, and I also hope this story gets PRESS. But because he’s gay, I sadly doubt it will. And I hope he is found safely.

  25. AJ says

    Glad he was found.

    and too many resentful people not meeting guys/having sex trying to preach. Seriously, you can tell who hasn’t been laid on here just by reading their posts. Usually anti gay, anti fem and anti everyone. Go get laid and get the stick out of your…

  26. Prof Sancho Panza says

    Very glad to hear he’s okay!

    That said, his mother’s relieved “He had met a person, they hit it off fabulously” is my top contender so far for the Euphemism of the Week prize.

  27. Italian-American Stallion says

    Always take precaution. A likely event during a random hook up with a stranger is that one will be robbed. That’s happened to several people I know, and afterwards they feel too embarrassed to alert the authorities. And they predators know it!

Leave A Reply