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De Blasio's Wife: Yes, I Was Once A Lesbian, But Not Anymore


This is an amazing flip-flop: Chirlane McCray, wife of likely Republican Democratic New York City mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio, was forced to release a statement yesterday admitting that, yes, she was a lesbian before she met her husband, currently the city's public advocate.

"[I] identified as a lesbian and wrote about it," she said after Hunter Walker at The Observer dug up a 1979 Essence magazine article Ms. McCray wrote called "I Am a Lesbian."

"I survived the tears, the isolation and the feeling that something was terribly wrong with me for loving another woman," she wrote. “Coming to terms with my life as a lesbian has been easier for me than it has been for many. Since I don’t look or dress like the typical bulldagger, I have a choice as to whether my sexual preference is known.”

Then, a sentence that she could never have known could complicate a future husband's political career: "I have also been fortunate because I discovered my preference for women early, before getting locked into a traditional marriage and having children.”

Reacting to the story yesterday, McCray said that meeting Bill in 1991 changed everything: "In 1991, I met the love of my life, married him, and together we’ve raised two amazing kids. I’m reminded every day how lucky I am to have met my soul mate."

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  1. As long as she is really happy is all that matters. Correct me if I am wrong but perhaps females really do have more a more fluid sexuality. That said everyone should be on the side of equality.

    Posted by: Tom in long beach | Dec 6, 2012 11:56:41 AM

  2. She does look pretty butch to me, she couldn't even pull the lipstick lesbian look.

    Posted by: Gast | Dec 6, 2012 11:57:11 AM

  3. I am happy for her and her fluid preferences --- there should be no issue with bisexuality and fluid sexuality - except that it is MISUSED and these types often say they "changed" when they are just in a different place and live on a bisexual cusp. Silly and telling how simple our "black and white" brains are.

    Posted by: rjp3 | Dec 6, 2012 11:57:43 AM

  4. The not anymore part is what pisses me off - you are who you are: She is afraid to say my life has been one of bisexuality - there is no way her attraction to women has stopped 100% just because she married a man - just like no man stops being attracted to other women once he gets married. Does not happen.

    Posted by: rjp3 | Dec 6, 2012 11:59:01 AM

  5. I won't knock it. I think the natural reaction from some gay people is to be defensive, but it takes some people their whole lives to become comfortable with their sexuality. As long as she's not raining down hellfire from a pulpit, who really cares?

    Posted by: Hugh | Dec 6, 2012 12:01:38 PM

  6. Is she anti-gay? Most NYC Republicans aren't. If she's not, who cares?

    Posted by: Dan E | Dec 6, 2012 12:05:09 PM

  7. She probably found Jesus along the way and now she pretends to be straight instead of bisexual. Nothing to be applauded.

    Posted by: Steve | Dec 6, 2012 12:06:29 PM

  8. You're a happy bisexual, lady :D

    Posted by: LittleKiwi | Dec 6, 2012 12:14:32 PM

  9. He's a Democrat, not a Republican.

    Posted by: Miller | Dec 6, 2012 12:16:57 PM

  10. I don't understand why people refuse to use the word bisexual. Your orientation isn't based on the specific partner you have at this very moment; it reflects your sexual interest in people of one (or, likely here, two) sex or gender.

    Posted by: mike8787 | Dec 6, 2012 12:20:26 PM

  11. DeBlasio is a fairly progressive Democrat who represented a liberal City Council district before becoming Public Advocate. A correction needs to be posted.

    Posted by: MichaelJ | Dec 6, 2012 12:21:17 PM

  12. Girls just wanna have fun.

    Posted by: Mike in nyc | Dec 6, 2012 12:21:19 PM

  13. Clearly bisexual.

    Clearly clueless.

    Clearly pandering.

    Posted by: Bill | Dec 6, 2012 12:23:33 PM

  14. After reading the title of this blog post, my first thought was she was against gay marriage, would be the next spokeswoman for "ex-gay" therapy with the anti-gay religious right, and would be on Porno Pete's website celebrating her so-called "healing." Thankfully, this quote I found in the Politicker story addressed my concerns.

    "Last June, after New York legalized same-sex marriage, Mr. de Blasio and Ms. McCray co-authored a piece for GO! magazine praising marriage equality and reflecting on their own position as an interracial couple."

    I imagine this is a deal breaker for Porno Pete and his crew, to which I say good.

    Posted by: Sam | Dec 6, 2012 12:29:16 PM

  15. De Blasio is not a Republican! God forbid. He's a highly progressive and visionary Democrat--far more so than Christine Quinn, who is in thrall to Mayor Bloomberg and various moneyed interests in New York City--and the best candidate for mayor we have so far.

    Posted by: DavidGroff | Dec 6, 2012 12:33:00 PM

  16. @Sam
    It doesn't matter if she is a willing participant. If she talks like that and implies that she is no longer gay, she is a a perfect poster child for the ex-gay industry.

    Posted by: Steve | Dec 6, 2012 12:34:51 PM

  17. So the "bulldagger" slur passes without comment ... interesting.

    Posted by: bareback rider | Dec 6, 2012 12:42:40 PM

  18. She's evidently remained an outspoken supporter of LGBT issues and equality rights (her husband is as well), so I'm not all that concerned about how she chooses to identify her sexuality.

    And, at any rate, from what I can tell her statement doesn't seem to say anything about "not being a lesbian anymore". She explicitly avoids saying that she actually identifies as heterosexual; she just says she's married to a man, leaving identities like "bisexual" and "lesbian who happens to have fallen in love with a man" (which is hardly unprecedented, just look at Anne Kronenberg) very much available to her.

    We're entirely too hung up sometimes on the idea that sexuality is an either/or proposition, when in fact for many people it's a fluid state that can change over time. It's actually fairly common for people to experience a sexual or romantic attraction that doesn't fit in with their prior conception of their sexuality -- and people respond to that experience in all kinds of different ways, reconceptualizing their lives and identities in intensely personal ways. But seriously -- as long as she remains an ally of our community and a supporter of our equality rights, what does it matter?

    Posted by: Craig S | Dec 6, 2012 12:44:13 PM

  19. Why is it so out of the realm of possibility that for a handful of individuals it changes? The evidence is that for the overwhelming majority it doesn't, but it doesn't seem like she has an axe to grind.

    Posted by: BGKev | Dec 6, 2012 12:46:35 PM

  20. I'm not going to make any judgements on her sexuality and the experiences in her life, frankly b/c I'm not her and I'm not a mind-reader. I wouldn't want anyone putting a label on me, other than the one I give myself, nor would I put a label on her just to make her fit my worldview. I also think the latter comes off as pretty passive-aggressive.

    I will say I'm happily surprised there aren't more angry comments. Over at the lesbian forums they're more accepting of fluid sexuality, but over here, we tend to be really defensive on the subject, downright heavyhanded most times. I'm glad we're not we're not all wielding pitchforks this time around.

    Posted by: Hugh | Dec 6, 2012 12:50:55 PM

  21. De Blasio's a Democrat. Your posts are always riddled with errors, or obnoxious commentary.

    Posted by: Feral | Dec 6, 2012 1:00:53 PM

  22. Politicians lie. So do their spouses. She showed her true colors by using a term like "bulldagger" way back when.

    Posted by: Your Mom | Dec 6, 2012 1:16:12 PM

  23. If you had one homosexual experience and you desired it, enjoyed it and hoped for more, you have a homosexual orientation. If you feel the same for the opposite sex, you may be called bisexual. A true cure does not mean that you have been trained to have heterosexual sex. A true cure means that you DON'T have attraction anymore for your own sex, and that just doesn't happen. If you're left-handed you may be TRAINED to use your right hand, but your orientation will always be left-handedness

    Posted by: Fausto Fernandez | Dec 6, 2012 1:23:23 PM

  24. No problem with her addressing both sides of her sexuality, and think it's great if she is now in a stable, monogamous marriage.

    But she shouldn't have to pretend she was broken and in need of fixing by the white man. Says more about her psyche than her sexuality.

    Posted by: Dr. Ruth | Dec 6, 2012 1:49:01 PM

  25. Belonsky brings this site down. Such a hack.

    Posted by: 24play | Dec 6, 2012 2:17:41 PM

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