Comments

  1. DALE says

    I like this guy. He’s funny, he’s classy, and he seems to have his priorities right. And he’s correct: un-closeting someone before they’re ready is wrong. The only exception would be a person who is using their fame or position to publicly harm or speak out against LGBT equality, even though they’re secretly gay themselves. Coming out is a personal decision that nobody else should make for you or force upon you.

  2. steve talbert says

    I’ve lost the respect I had for him with that comment. He doesn’t have to lie. (I’m assuming he means reinforce a lie that the people are straight)… as opposed to just saying he doesn’t know anything. What a fame whore. He wants to be asked. He just wants to perpetuate the status quo.

  3. will says

    What? We want Lance to OUT celebrities and forcibly push them from their closets?

    Harvey Milk defined this as a PERSONAL DECISION. Coming out is a process. It can be liberating, but we have no right to expose private lives to further our own agendas.

    The title of this blog (…and will lie…”) comes perilously close to the style of yellow journalism.

  4. luminum says

    Sorry, unless someone is actively doing something harmful to the LGBT community, it is NOT your business to disclose their sexual orientation without their consent. Yes, it’s terrible that the industry pushed queer actors to remain in the closet, but that’s a institutional homophobia problem. People should come out because they’re ready to take that step and be brave if it costs them something. People who have the courage to do that of their own free will should be praised. It shouldn’t be something forced upon them.

  5. Homo Genius says

    “Harvey Milk defined this as a PERSONAL DECISION. Coming out is a process.”

    sigh…. first that’s a 40 year old mentality. Its not ok to be closeted. Its not a process.

    second… and most important here – These celebrities are already “out”. Everyone around them knows. Its just housewives in Ohio that don’t know.

    Its not ok to be closeted. Its a lie. It hurts all of us. Its not ok to enable people. Its ok to out people. Its not 1975 where what happens at the gay bar stays in the gay bar and everyone helps keep every thing on the down low.

  6. Homo Genius says

    “it is NOT your business to disclose their sexual orientation without their consent. ”

    its the truth. Its not some dark secret. By being closeted and LYING, that says there is something wrong with being gay. Something so wrong it must be kept hidden. It hurts all of us.

  7. oncemorewithfeeling says

    There hasn’t been a closet for 50 years. Everybody knows gay people exist and everybody knows all of the varieties and everybody knows you could be one of them. What people call the closet today is actually just lying to yourself.

    I don’t lie to others about my own life and I’m not about to keep track of others’ lies on their behalf. That’s not my job.

    If I don’t want something to be public knowledge (family matters, medical information, whatever), then I leave no evidence of it, tell nobody about it, and avoid the subject if it comes up. I don’t lie about it.

    If you need to confide in me something about your life that anyone would need to keep confidential (family matters, medical information, whatever), then that something stays confidential. Of course.

    If I had “tons” of friends who were lying about who they were and I knew it, covering up for any or all of them would be exhausting. Not a good use of my time. Not going to do it.

    If you want to keep who you actually are a secret, then keep it a secret (at which point most people will think you’re a gay man living in denial), otherwise, it’s not a secret.

    If you’re living a life in the United States of America in 2013 where your life would actually be destroyed if you confirmed to everybody who you really were (and 99.999999% of the time they know already), then you need to stop living your life that way. Especially if your plan is to draw others into your lies.

  8. oncemorewithfeeling says

    There hasn’t been a closet for 50 years. Everybody knows gay people exist and everybody knows all of the varieties and everybody knows you could be one of them. What people call the closet today is actually just lying to yourself.

    I don’t lie to others about my own life and I’m not about to keep track of others’ lies on their behalf. That’s not my job.

    If I don’t want something to be public knowledge (family matters, medical information, whatever), then I leave no evidence of it, tell nobody about it, and avoid the subject if it comes up. I don’t lie about it.

    If you need to confide in me something about your life that anyone would need to keep confidential (family matters, medical information, whatever), then that something stays confidential. Of course.

    If I had “tons” of friends who were lying about who they were and I knew it, covering up for any or all of them would be exhausting. Not a good use of my time. Not going to do it.

    If you want to keep who you actually are a secret, then keep it a secret (at which point most people will think you’re a gay man living in denial), otherwise, it’s not a secret.

    If you’re living a life in the United States of America in 2013 where your life would actually be destroyed if you confirmed to everybody who you really were (and 99.999999% of the time they know already), then you need to stop living your life that way. Especially if your plan is to draw others into your lies.

  9. Macmantoo says

    I believe it’s a personal choice to come out.

    Today more than ever more and more gays are coming out because of the internet. Back in the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s most of us only knew the gay’s at the bars. If your boss found out you could be fired-as I was. But with the invent of the internet we have found more and more people like ourselves.

    Some people are still afraid of what might happen, of what their love ones might think. It’s their decision, so let them make their own decision.

  10. MFinBH says

    Lance seems perfectly reasonable. I suspect he’d be right there to encourage and/or help support a celebrity friend coming out; frankly, he’s been more popular since coming out (anyone remember the other guys in his group besides Justin and him?)

    The bigger question here is why does Bethenny Frankel have a talk show?

  11. says

    it’s a personal decision. duh.

    but i don’t respect the closet. at all. not in north america, in 2013.

    we have teenage lesbians coming out overseas in vehemently anti-gay cultures and countries, and here we have grown-adults in north america still thinking more about themselves than the reality that we’re stronger when we unite and give a face to our communities.

    oh well.

    that said, “you can’t force me to come out” is an evasion of the truth: the folks that say that have no problem whatsoever with letting others “force them to STAY IN”

  12. Robbie Horn says

    Despite the legal and social gains gays have achieved in recent years, the closet is still a viable option for many celebrities. Anderson Cooper and Jodie Foster felt safe enough to come out only last year.

    Queen Latifah, Barry Manilow, Tim Curry (Rocky Horror), and Tyler Perry are the biggest names who still may be in the closet.

  13. gomez says

    @i won’t grow up. it’s not classy to lie for other people’s insecurities. the classy thing to do would be to not address the subject or answer questions about it.

    also, he is a “celeb” for no valid reason. not classy

  14. JMC says

    Ew. So grossed out by the people commenting who are saying they would drag a celerity friend out of the closet with a smile on their face if they were in Lance’s position, as if it’s the moral thing to do because lying is sooo bad! Quit being deliberately obtuse, if Lance was asked a question relating to another celebrity’s sexual orientation and he dodged the question because he was too ~moral to lie he would essentially be outing them. Seriously, shut up. I hope no one who’s in a sensitive position personally and/or professionally because of their sexual orientation ever makes the mistake of confiding in you guys.

  15. Woody says

    Lots of self-righteous comments today, and this is a flat-out lie itself: “There hasn’t been a closet for 50 years.”

    I’m glad that that commenter lives in a fully enlightened and egalitarian society. Unfortunately, there are many Americans (no, not Russians, Americans) who do not live in that kind of place and and feel they cannot risk their jobs, families, or lives to come out.

    Look up the stats on homeless LGBT youth — especially in Utah — and find out why they’re homeless: their families kicked them out. You don’t even have to leave this site to find it that story.

    No one has a right to force someone else how to live their life. What we can do is be there for our friend as they go through the coming out process for themselves.

  16. steve talbert says

    In 2013, if someone is “in the closet” to the point they are trying to make people think that they are straight… then they have a really terrible self image and should not be enabled. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG OR BAD ABOUT BEING GAY. They should pitied at least or ignored at best. No reason to “out” them.

  17. Literally says

    He personally knows “tons” ?? Meaning no less than two ?? Meaning no less than 4,000+ closeted celebrities?

    Doubtful he personally knows even a dozen such “celebrities” that any of us have ever heard of.

  18. Damien says

    @MFINBH: I didn’t mean “tons” literally, and neither did he (although I didn’t watch the video, but I would guess not). I’m just saying he’s exaggerating.

  19. SueEllen says

    Staying quiet about your sexuality is one thing. Using Hollywood publicity machine to construct a completely straight persona with fake relationships is another.

  20. Joey Y says

    People who think that others’ personal lives are everyone’s business need to look I’m the mirror and consider VERY carefully if they are willing to divulge details of others’ love lives told to them in confidence to strangers.

  21. joel says

    This is just like anything else your friends tell you in confidence and request you not spread around. Friendship is about trust not a social agenda. Unless what they disclose is illegal you might disagree with their choice but if you’re their friend you respect their privacy and their decisions.

  22. ali says

    To the “no closet/no lies” folks: It’s still legal to fire someone for being gay in 29 states. Some LGB people keep their private life private out of a very real fear of losing their job.

    For the record, I’m not talking about working for a Catholic school or Chik-fil-a. Lots of people work in small businesses without formal Human Resources departments or policies. In those situations, if your boss is homophobic and you get outed, you probably will get (legally) fired.

    Try practicing some empathy and maybe you’ll see that decisions like coming out aren’t as black and white as you state.

  23. Bill says

    @steve talbert: Saying you don’t know when you do is lying. Whether Lance Bass meant anything beyond that is mere speculation.

    Also, some guy could have a 95 year old bible-thumping grandma and doesn’t want her to know because it would devastate her. It’s kind of hard to keep grandma in the dark when something gets announced on national TV. It’s pretty easy otherwise when she mostly stays at home and spends most of the day dozing off, with the exception of a weekly church service where she watches the snake handlers and has fond memories but is too old to participate.

  24. Regine says

    I miss the old Lance Bass the guy I love he use to be so much fun and make me laugh. Not this guy. I don’t even know who this is anymore. I can’t even trust anything he says either it seems like he’s living a lie more then ever, but it doesn’t matter what I think as long as he’s happy that is all that matters.

  25. Cassie says

    What awesome friends. definitely the type of people I would go to in times of need. Friendship is about trust. If your best friends tells you a secret and then tells you not to say anything, then don’t say anything. I mean what if their parents don’t know. what if they find out from somebody else before their son on daughter finally has the guts to say something, and to say it the right way. you guys are horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Tim Irving says

    we have to give Lance a lot of credit for respecting a person’s personal choice and privacy. Remember back folks to a time when we didn’t want to be outed for fear of retribution. Those times haven’t fully gone away, no matter how much we middle aged men want to believe it.
    Personally I thought I was in the closet for years, only to learn years later that OMG everybody knew. Looking back hind site is 20-20, I wasted so much energy in my own personal closet.
    Each person has to make that decision and shouldn’t be someone else’s unless they are a closeted homophobe trying to deflect attention from themselves by hurting others. Then in my opinion they are fair game for public outing. Otherwise it is their private life.

  27. Mary says

    This is a hard call to make – especially since I’m not a part of the community in question here. There are good arguments on both sides of this issue. People remaining in the closet like to think that they are making a decision that only affects their own life, but as Kiwi said it effects everyone else in he LGBT world. Coming out is how the community began on the road toward acceptance.

    Here we have the classic conflict between the individual and the group he belongs to. Everyone wants solidarity with the group he belongs to but doesn’t want to do things that help the group as a whole yet may hurt himself individually.

    I guess there should be more sympathy towards closeted individuals who live in areas where you could be fired or thrown out of your residence for being gay. It really isn’t fair to ask these people to risk their stability for a political cause. This isn’t like facing disapproval from Aunt Martha at Thanksgiving dinner.

  28. rjp3 says

    Why does the gay press keep reporting on this man who does NOTHING of note?

    Yes he is vile, vapid and a sad stereotype.
    He had to be outed by Perez Hilton of all people – now tries to make a career out of being gay.

  29. rjp3 says

    Anderson Cooper and Jodie Foster felt they had ENOUGH MONEY to come out.

    Queen Latifah and Barry Manilow are sad selfish pathetic people. She has tons of darkness in her — an he is plastic surgery mess now. Sad.

  30. Robert says

    I echo everything Dale has said above. Coming out is most certainly a process, a psychological process that must evolve until an individual is ready. None of us have the same factors which influence the “coming out” decision. Many of us have jobs, family, close friends, business associates or we may even serve on boards and commissions or have a public life that simply will not approve or much worse, coming out could cause great upheaval in our lives. Without any doubt, each person must choose their own path in this regard.

    As for Lance Bass, this guy is as grounded as they come. He is someone that I would cherish as a friend, and I wish I could count him among the few good friends that I have.

    I think this article is very unfair because it casts a negative connotation where absolutely none is there. Lance is being a good friend and confidant to those he protects.

  31. johnny says

    Speaking as someone who was outed and therefore lost my job (back in ’93) I can tell you from personal experience that it should DEFINITELY be your own decision and nobody else has that right.

    I was trying desperately to get enough clients on the side to start my own business and then was going to come out (I was already out to my family).

    But then my boss found out that I was gay and fired me. So, I had to get extensions on my mortgage, lost the clients I had built up because I had to work 2 jobs in order to keep paying that mortgage, lost any chance of getting a decent job because that gossip spread around town (with a particularly unflattering lie).

    It took nearly 4 years of 2 jobs, selling my house, moving to a bad area of town and finally clawing my way back with my own clients to get back where I was. And yes, now I’m out to everyone who knows me.

    So, yes, outing a person might serve your own agenda, but it does far more than let everyone know someone is gay. It can impact in a very negative life-changing way, financially as well as psychologically. I went through hell and back.

    It’s just plain wrong and anyone who does it is scum, In My Opinion.

  32. Rowan says

    Dear god Damien you are naive. Where are you from? Some small town??!!

    I can think of more then 20 actors/actresses who are gay and in the closet-some I have seen out and about, whilst others it was through friends.

    I mean are you guys so dumb?? Have you never heard of decadence or bohemia?? You do realise that most of your drama class at school always played around right?? Why on EARTH would you think these guys are suddenly straight??

    Whatever.

    Anyway, at least Lance is being honest.

  33. jonvincent says

    Lying to cover them is one thing but to support their decision in being a closet case? Hell,no! Yes, it’s their choice but Why would you support people who want to live a long life of closetness? I think Milk also said that every time one of us comes out to someone it advances our cause by 150%. If our sisters or brothers or aunts or uncles can say that they know one person who gay, it breaks down the walls of homophobia.

    It also depends on how well established a celebrity is. If you’ve already made your mark and made a crapload of $$, what do you have to lose? Grow a pair and do it!!

  34. MESSY MEN says

    This is why I despise some gay men for being hypocritical. They scream no hate and “equality”, yet would readily bully others into disclosing their sexuality. Again, this is why I HATE HYPOCRITES!!!!

  35. tonyc says

    I remember when Out magazine began publishing names and just outing people..I still can’t make up my mind whether I agree/disagree with this entire situation..my deceased friend who was an Act Up activist was all in for the idea… I know Hollywood keeps a very tight lip still but more people have made it easier for themselves.. But now is not 20-30 years ago where you would really loose work in film/or a job that really mattered to get a paycheck…there are still film/TV people in their closet.,that amazes me & one reason I do go to Gay Pride every year..Gay/transgender people are more visable & with that more hate. So we need to make our everyday life, even to your neighbors…that’s where I make my life known…but I live in NYC., much different in the small towns. Hate is rampant, many people don’t agree we need have equal rights.. I pay real estate taxes for schools/playgrounds I’ll never use in my lifetime.. But that’s a part of a Democracy… Many years will go by, another 30-40 years when Lance hits the 60yo mark/has kids with his new HB/then it’s an entire different world., still theres no reason to ruin a person’s life if that person is not willing/no matter what the job.,so that’s my feelings today..its continually morphing as I get older

  36. m says

    I don’t really care if celebrities are out or not. Actually I don’t care about them. The pop culture world of celebrity is artificial. Its fake to begin with. And most of us spend too much time thinking about, obsessing about, and talking about that world. Our own lives and the people in them should matter more. Its a fun fantasy and distraction.

  37. Max says

    Well what it really boils down to is that he will support his friends’ decisions (whatever that might be), even to the extent of lying on their behalf. That is true Loyalty to one’s friends, and I consider that pretty noble behaviour.

    And no, not all Lying is bad. Sometimes untimely truth-telling might do even more harm, depending on the circumstances.

  38. kookie says

    It is NO ONE ELSE’S BUSINSS who you are in life…..except yours and the one’s you love. That’s it. If someone else finds out…..and they go to the media, they do, but it makes them look bad.. Each person’s journey in life is their’s to travel…conscious, guilt, bearing..we can’t make other people feel and be what they aren’t..it has to come to them in time. Sorry..i”m an out gay man in Los Angeles…..I keep some secrets….just because a friend cheats on a spouse doesn’t mean I have an obligation to go to the family….just cause I have friends who don’t pay taxes doesn’t mean I”ll go to the IRS>>>it’s their life. Not mine………Respect the individual for the life they feel they need to lead….let them come out or to terms at their own pace.

  39. wheelie81 says

    Unreal to read so many people’s comments on here saying that being closeted is wrong and harmful to the community. There aren’t enough adjectives in the English language to describe how vile that is.

  40. Hagatha says

    Back in the good old days, American negroes had a name for light skinned negroes who pretended to be caucasian who allowed others to believe that they were caucasian. It was called Passing For White, or simply Passing.

    There difference there is that for a negro to pass for caucasian, he had to have significant caucasian features generally because he was a quadroon or octoroon. So we are given to ask ourselves: Are these gay people who are Passing For Straight similar to the quadroon passing for white? Are these gay people 3/4ths heterosexual? Do they alternate days or relationships? Or are they just gay people living a lie?

    Compassion? Well, I don’t know. If someone offered me at eighteen years old, millions of dollars to pretend to be straight for ten years I might do it.

  41. GregV says

    @”Literally”:

    A ton is a measurement of weight, not number (i.e. 2000 feathers and 2000 cars do not both weigh one ton).
    25 American gay women of average weight would surpass 2 tons, as could 7 large sumo wrestlers.
    Lance is in a position to have met thousands of celebrities, so he could easily have met literally tons of closeted ones.

  42. GregV says

    @”Literally”:

    A ton is a measurement of weight, not number (i.e. 2000 feathers and 2000 cars do not both weigh one ton).
    25 American gay women of average weight would surpass 2 tons, as could 7 large sumo wrestlers.
    Lance is in a position to have met thousands of celebrities, so he could easily have met literally tons of closeted ones.

  43. GregV says

    @”Literally”:

    A ton is a measurement of weight, not number (i.e. 2000 feathers and 2000 cars do not both weigh one ton).
    25 American gay women of average weight would surpass 2 tons, as could 7 large sumo wrestlers.
    Lance is in a position to have met thousands of celebrities, so he could easily have met literally tons of closeted ones.

  44. GregV says

    @”Literally”:

    A ton is a measurement of weight, not number (i.e. 2000 feathers and 2000 cars do not both weigh one ton).
    25 American gay women of average weight would surpass 2 tons, as could 7 large sumo wrestlers.
    Lance is in a position to have met thousands of celebrities, so he could easily have met literally tons of closeted ones.

  45. GregV says

    @”Literally”:

    A ton is a measurement of weight, not number (i.e. 2000 feathers and 2000 cars do not both weigh one ton).
    25 American gay women of average weight would surpass 2 tons, as could 7 large sumo wrestlers.
    Lance is in a position to have met thousands of celebrities, so he could easily have met literally tons of closeted ones.

  46. Ealan14 says

    Good for him. It doesn’t matter whether your an actor in an Oscar-winning movie, or a cashier at the local supermarket, people should come out when they’re ready, not when we think they should be ready.

  47. Regine says

    I have to agree with RJP3 about Lance making a career out of being gay. It’s fine to be gay. However it’s just weird when you turn your sexual preference into a career choice. Any other celebrity that has come out they just come out and go on living their lives like nothing has changed they don’t try to profit off of it. This is why I have to wonder wither Lance is “really gay” like he claims or if he’s just doing this for publicity.

  48. GregV says

    @Regine: That’s a ridiculous theory. Lance’s pretending to be straight was the career move. He’s gay in REAL life, and if others ask him occasional questions about his life and he answers frankly, that doesn’t make him exploitative.
    I just don’t know why he thinks he has to lie for anyone else. He doesn’t have to lie in order to NOT mention that someone else is gay or bi.

  49. ratbastard says

    @Homo Genius,

    Mr. Milk also deliberately outed a guy, a troubled veteran who didn’t want the publicity for being a ‘hero'; Mr. Milk and there’s wanted the world to know this man was gay, for political political purposes, who committed suicide.

  50. Charlie says

    It is not his place, nor anyone else’s, to out someone else. It is a personal decision. I have no respect for those that criticize others for the pace that they come out (if they ever do). You came out when you were ready (hopefully no one outed you) and you must respect when others decide to come out. You may not like that they aren’t coming out “soon enough” for the so called greater good, but it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS the decision others make. Get off your high horse.

  51. Regine says

    @GREGV You can take offense all you want. It’s not ridiculous. It’s a strategic business move on his part, and that is what he is a business man. And for why he would lie he already told me he would do anything for a friend no matter their sexuality and I’m pretty sure would go to any lengths for anyone including himself. Keep in mind you’re nobody until you’re talked about.

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