Gay Marriage | Nigeria | Science

Nigerian Post-Grad 'Scientifically' Proves Gay Marriage Is Wrong

Chibuihem Amalaha

Chibuihem Amalaha of the University of Lagos in Nigeria has made what he believes is a scientific breakthrough: using physics, chemistry, biology, and mathematical experiments, he has proven that gay marriage is wrong.

The breakdown:

Physics - with magnets, like poles repel while opposite poles attract, thus should like sexes repel and opposite sexes attract.

Chemistry - an acid mixed with a base will react and result in a neutral solution, while acid added to acid or base to base remains acid or base with no reaction, thus a woman added to a woman or man to man will not react.

Biology - animals like chickens and lions in zoos are not observed engaging in same-sex mating and sperm and eggs are both needed to make children, thus biology proves that gay marriage is wrong.

Mathematics - A + B = B + A, but A + A = A ("Actually in abstract algebra, A + A =2A but we are less concerned with the numerical value two") and because the result is the same there is no reaction, thus commutativity and idempotency prove that gay marriage is wrong.

Amalaha hopes to have his findings published in international journals, but is presently having troubles securing the funding necessary. One day he wants "to be the first African to win Nobel Prize in science," a difficult goal given that Max Theiler of South Africa won it for Medicine in 1951, Claude Cohen-Tannoudji of Algeira won it for Physics in 1997, and Ahmed H. Zewail of Egypt won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 1999.

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  1. the U. of Lagos must be so proud. Next week their math grad students will be learning fractions. All racial stereotypes have been given support. The KKK is very confused. They want to point to this guy as the brightest that Africa has to offer but at the same time agree with his "findings".

    Posted by: terry | Sep 17, 2013 9:11:43 AM

  2. Eat da poo poo!

    Posted by: screamingqueen | Sep 17, 2013 10:01:59 AM

  3. You are all racists. I didn't read any of your comments because you just know that everyone here is such a racist POS.

    Posted by: Fenrox | Sep 17, 2013 10:04:41 AM

  4. 1. Atoms have one proton and any number of ions. Therefore: polygamy!

    2. Ions may move from atom to atom. Ergo, monogamy is against nature.

    I have proved using physics that humans are meant live in open relationships with multiple partners.

    Now I'm off the tailcoat i'll need to wear when i accept my Nobel from the king of sweden!

    Posted by: verbocityeric | Sep 17, 2013 10:15:57 AM

  5. @Fenrox - So, condemning willful ignorance and pseudoscience is racist? How so? Or are you saying that a person with dark skin should be given a free pass to push idiotic nonsense because of his skin color?

    Posted by: Gregory In Seattle | Sep 17, 2013 10:29:35 AM

  6. this is the most ludicrous "scientific" study right after the gentleman that uses drawings and color for his "brain" study on determining whether someone is gay........who, why and how would anyone believe this nonsense?????????????

    Posted by: Bernie | Sep 17, 2013 10:33:50 AM

  7. Not sure about the South African winner. Claude Cohen-Tannoudji was working in France, and Ahmed H. Zewail was working in the US. The Nobel Prize usually cites their country of origin and not the country they did their prize-winning research. He could be the first if there is a prize for gay marrage theory or stupidity.

    Posted by: simon | Sep 17, 2013 10:56:22 AM

  8. Think how much more Africa could achieve if it invested in actual scientists

    Posted by: kennedy | Sep 17, 2013 11:05:36 AM

  9. Think how much more Africa could achieve if it invested in actual scientists

    Posted by: kennedy | Sep 17, 2013 11:05:38 AM

  10. Since when is an ANALOGY a scientific proof?

    Posted by: John | Sep 17, 2013 11:06:57 AM

  11. Silly bigot, you can't snatch our rights away. You're experiments and beliefs are worthless!

    Posted by: FlexSF | Sep 17, 2013 11:11:14 AM

  12. Oil and oil mix perfectly. Vinegar and vinegar mix perfectly. Oil and vinegar do not mix, heterosexual marriage is scientifically wrong, gay marriage is the purest form of marriage.

    See? We can do it too, jackass.

    Posted by: Arrowsmith | Sep 17, 2013 11:16:47 AM

  13. He must be brand-new to thinking.
    So young;so unencumbered by common sense,life experience,and LOGIC.
    What else could one expect from the African educational system?

    Posted by: SFshawn | Sep 17, 2013 11:25:58 AM

  14. ROTFLMAO!!! Beyoncé said it best. 1+1=2!!!

    Posted by: Alexander | Sep 17, 2013 11:51:22 AM

  15. Fenrox, there are NO comments about race before your comment.


    Now go flush yourself down the nearest toilet.

    Posted by: FENROXistheRACIST | Sep 17, 2013 12:23:28 PM

  16. What would humanity have done without the enormous contributions of sub-Saharan Africans and their descendants to the advancement of science, technology, and knowledge, in general?

    And now this, a continuation of that renowned intellectual tradition.

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 17, 2013 12:24:43 PM

  17. And, by the way, the "African" winners of the Nobel prize were all Caucasians--a WHITE South African and two Arabs.


    His attempts to "claim" them are as hilarious as Jesse Jackson's attempts to "claim" Ancient Egypt for "Africa", the truth of course being that Arabs held Black Africans as slaves long before any European ever did....and continue to do so right down to the present day in remote parts of Mauritania.

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 17, 2013 12:50:19 PM

  18. Hey, I recognize him! He's the Nigerian prince who wanted to give me a million dollars. You're a scientist too, bro? So cool.

    Posted by: Just a guy | Sep 17, 2013 1:46:54 PM

  19. You can lead a horse out of the jungle but you can't make him think.

    Posted by: Hagatha | Sep 17, 2013 1:58:27 PM

  20. Nobel Prize? This barely qualifies for the Regenerus Prize.

    Posted by: Bob Hope | Sep 17, 2013 3:07:26 PM

  21. Where did he get his witch doctorate?

    Posted by: woody | Sep 17, 2013 4:10:02 PM

  22. Let's not forget that the average Nigerian IQ is 67 — mentally retarded by Western standards — so Mr. Amalaha may well represent their best and brightest.

    Posted by: AL | Sep 17, 2013 4:58:11 PM

  23. His dumb ass looks like old tar-haired Jermaine Jackson.

    Posted by: webdemon | Sep 17, 2013 8:50:07 PM

  24. This is fraudulent science the kind that makes a magic trick and witchcraft seem like reality when it is just a slight of hand. This man does not deserve to be in graduate school and certainly he will NOT get a Noble for using a magnet to prove something that is not related to biology. He may pull the wool over the superstitous and barbarians of his country but he does nor fool lelgitimate scientists of the world who see him now as a the laughing stock of science and his University for which he has given a very bad name to the quality of education that they provide.

    Posted by: ludwig | Sep 18, 2013 4:52:58 PM

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