Ben Affleck Will Totally Fill the Batman Codpiece, Producer Confirms

E! news reports that everyone was talking about Ben Affleck's manhood at the 25th Producers Guild of America last night.

Batman_affleckFirst CBS producer Chuck Lorre told the audience a story about using the urinal next to Affleck:

"Yes I peeked. And yes, Comic Con, he can play Batman."

And Affleck followed with his own gag:

"I was at the bar briefly, and I came back to my seat and somebody said, ‘You know, there was a guy up on stage who said you have a big d–k,'" the Oscar winner joked to the audience. "I was like, ‘You know, isn't that always how is goes? The one time it happens and I miss it!' Thank you very much. Whoever you are, God bless you. I'm often confused with Matt Damon but rarely with Michael Fassbender, so…"

Unfotunately the Man of Steel sequel has been pushed to May 6, 2016 so it'll be awhile before we're seeing that.

Comments

  1. keating says

    Straight guys have no idea what’s big and what’s not, because they never see them up close and personal.

  2. busytimmy says

    Wouldn’t it be great if Towleroad posted about something and someone truly significant? The great Italian maestro Claudio Abbado passed away today. Wouldn’t it be great to hear about something important instead of Affleck’s “manhood”?

  3. andrew says

    Love Ben. He’s a talented and classy guy. Don’t feel bad Ben. Few of us get confused with Michael Fassbender.

  4. AriesMatt says

    Like I needed another reason to swoon after Ben Affleck. He looks amazing in that photo, too. Woof!

  5. theo says

    Who cares? We’re talking about a straight white guy’s package, Walter. That’s Towleroad 101. Traffic above substance.

  6. AG says

    I, for one, would much rather read about Ben Affleck’s package than the death of an Italian maestro. I know, I’m shallow. Not proud, just honest. I’m sure there are some fine arts websites where the musician can be mourned.

  7. Regina says

    @Bobby totally beat me to it! Kudos.

    I can only add more crucial question – is Batman’s codpiece a gay icon??

  8. bravo says

    @AG – you did not just dis Claudio Abbado, did you? I’ve been listening to his recording of Simon Boccanegra all afternoon (he probably brought this opera back into the canon with this Freni, Carreras, Cappucilli recording).

  9. dumbnhung says

    Rylan from Britain’s Xfactor is way cuter than some dead opera star, and just as talented. Not as hung as Ben though I bet. That gives me the sads.

  10. FFS says

    Finally. After 17 years, this is the first plausible explanation as to how he keeps getting work.

    I’ve got big junk. Where’s my Oscar?

  11. Rob says

    Lighten up, my prissy brethren. It’s ok to talk about who’s got a big unit, and it gives Towleroad texture. There are plenty of geektastic posts on astronomy, flag waving posts on gay rights, and newsy updates on music. Other outlets tend not to dwell on who’s got the heft, though, and I, for one want to know. I lead an active fantasy life.

  12. Sam says

    Ben looks good here…but will never fill a costume of any comic book hero like Chis Evans and Helmsworth.