Former Dallas Cowboy Greg Ellis Worried Michael Sam Might ‘Pat Somebody on the Butt’

Former Dallas Cowboys defensive end Greg Ellis spoke with ESPN radio on Tuesday and had something ridiculous to say about Michael Sam joining the NFL.

EllisSaid Ellis:

"If he pats somebody on the butt — I hope ESPN don’t get mad and never have me back — but if he pats somebody on the butt, how is that to be received? If he does that how is that to be received? If he said, ‘Come on baby’? I called guys baby all the time on the football field, but when you have taken a stand and went and go public and say that, ‘I am gay,’ how is that going to be received? I’ve seen guys, I had guys on the Dallas Cowboys football team — I won’t mention names — who did not want you to pat them on their butt. So God forbid if you pat one of those guys on the butt it’s going to be a major problem.”

And not surprisingly, Ellis would have been worried Sam might check him out in the shower. Asked if having an openly gay player on the team would have made him uncomfortable, Ellis replied:

“I would. I would. People who’ve never been in an NFL shower room, not just locker room, it’s a open room. We don’t have private curtains. It’s just an open-form shower, so everybody sees each in the nude. Well if you’re looking at men as if you’re looking at women or vice versa, how are those guys to receive that? I don’t know. I don’t know how they will receive that. But I do know it would be a situation where I would go to the coach and try to work something out to say, ‘Obviously this is going to be a problem. What can we do? The kid can help us play, can help us win football games. We need him on the team. But this situation right here, we need to do something.’ ”

(transcript via Dallas Morning News)


  1. steven says

    And how is it taken if you pat/swat someone’s butt????? You are just not comfortable with the concept of male bonding? It doesn’t necessarily change when one of the men is gay. Guess who needs to go back to male bonding 101.

  2. Ryan says

    The big scary gay guy may see my ding dong! OH NO! Christ, if it’s such a big deal, why don’t they just put stall showers in the locker rooms and give the guys curtains.

    As for the butt pats, here’s a thought — stop patting other guys on the butt. I’m gay but I do not want random people, men or women, coming up and cupping my cheeks. I don’t like my personal space invaded. If your co-worker came up and grabbed your @ss it’d be considered sexual harassment, so why should it be allowed in professional sports?

  3. Derrick from Philly says


    This is getting funnier by the day. It’s OK for a Straight guy to pat you on the butt, but it’s not OK for a Gay guy to pat it. What? Is it more tantalizing for a Gay guy to pat your butt. And have you cleaned it before HAND, that’s what I want to know?

  4. jjose712 says

    They are like little children, fortunately there a good bunch of mature NFL players to counterbalance all this nonsense or people will start to think they are a bunch of whiny boys

  5. rjinva says

    Every large gym I have ever been in in my life has had a large open shower room. Thy’re easier to clean. Gay guys learn to live with it the same way straight guys do very early in adolescence when you pop up at anything, you learn there are places you do NOT pop up.

    Every one of these delicate foootball flowers has showered with gay guys right along and everyone of those gay guys has managed to resist the pull of their incredible manliness.

    I wish that these what if he looks at me guys would understand that guys do look (straight and gay) – the problem is not the guy glancing, the problem is the DRAMA that these guys are fantasyzing might follow that look.

  6. Sean says

    Hmm, if only you had a device if you opened your mouth sound would come out and let the player know you don’t like being touched or patted on the ass. Some guys dont like it with NO openly gay players, so how would it be different with one who is openly gay.
    As for checking you out in the shower, that is one of the most egotistical assumptions any person can make. Don’t flatter yourself. Gay men are NOT checking you out. If they are, SO WHAT. I suppose playing in Dallas no player has EVER checked out one of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders? Get over yourself you idiot.

  7. Profe Sancho Panza says

    “Well if you’re looking at men as if you’re looking at women or vice versa, how are those guys to receive that? I don’t know.”

    And there you have the problem, right there. Being looked at the way he looks at women would upset him. Which says all we need to know about how he thinks of women.

  8. Marc says

    Poor straight, over-paid men. God, life must just be so difficult for them. I have no idea how they are going to handle this situation. It’s just heartbreaking. It really does pain me to see men like this having to go through such trials in tribulations in life. Obama needs to step in and wave a magic wand or something. I just can’t bare to see another straight man have to figure something out.

  9. johnny says

    I wouldn’t be comfortable with a BLACK guy patting me on the butt. I wouldn’t like it and wouldn’t know how to take it. What if a BLACK guy was watching me shower? That would make me very uncomfortable and I don’t think there are many guys who would like that.

    See how that sounds? Just as wrong and stupid as what you are saying, idiot.

    Guess what, genius? You’ve been showering with gay guys all of your life, you just didn’t know it. Now go off and have some nice gay nightmares.

  10. Derrick from Philly says

    Well, JOHNNY, I understand the point you’re trying to make, but are you being for real? You really wouldn’t want a big black hand slappin’ your booty? Tell the truth darlin’. What about a big Puerto Rican hand? SLAP!

  11. garryo says

    Hmmm. Scroll back up to the photo next to this story. Now squint your eyes a bit, imagine that head with longer hair, a scruffy face, and no t-shirt. Oh honey, he’s a homo all right, a Homo neanderthalensis. Remarks like the ones he made confirm it, too.

  12. Ricahrd says

    Finally, someone tells the real truth! We are tired of hearing all the lies from players who really do have problems but would never say it openly. Sam WILL get drafted but never by certain teams. So his time in the NFL will probably be short. Teams that need all the attention that they can get need draft Sam. At least, he will bring the cameras.

  13. Frank says

    Yes, if you’re calling guys baby and patting them on the butt they will feel uncomfortable because you’re harassing them. Gays don’t harass, well not when we’re outnumbered. If you’re afraid of the gay guy then shower at home.

  14. Craig says

    Some of these idiots are acting like he’s never played on a team before. He was OUT to ALL his teammates his senior season at Mizzou. The team finished ranked fifth in the nation. He was co-defensive player of the year in the best conference in America. To me it doesn’t sound like he was much of a distraction, possibly more of an inspiration.

  15. Derrick from Philly says

    @ “Y’all are just hatin’ on him cuz he’s black. ”
    Posted by: DERRICK FROM PHILLY | Feb 21, 2014 3:40:46 PM

    Rick, it doen’t work if I’ve already posted during the day. Towleroad visitors can tell the difference between my alcoholic azz and your persciption drug medicated azz. You silly butch queen.

    @ “What a stupid jigaboo.”

    Carmelo, I hope you’re actually Rick. If not, then remember, darlin’, there are slurs for you too.

    I think it’s Rick. What a silly old butch queen you are….probably with a flat azz. You deserve it.

  16. Wil says

    I keep asking this question and have not heard a good answer: why do multimillionaires feel the need to shower with each other in the first place? I make a lot less than them and somehow the gym I go to has doors on its shower stalls. When designing workplaces for these very rich men, why do their very rich employers design open showers? What need does it serve to have these men unnecessarily naked together? Anyone care to explain?

  17. parkrunner says

    I remember guys having that conversation when we started dressing up for P.E. in middle school. My coach shouting, “Please don’t touch the girl’s butts” if anyone complained. Jeez, I hope these guys would have grown up by now.

  18. Rick says

    I don’t think his comments were necessarily homophobic and I am really concerned when I read comments in a thread like this because they demonstrate a sort of arrogance that we as gay men have no business having at this point in history.

    We are 3% of the population–a small minority–and the majority can do with us pretty much as they please, so not listening to valid concerns is not very smart on our part.

    The shower issue is not invalid, nor is the “butt patting” issue. I am SURE that if this were a woman saying that no male coach should ever pat her on the butt after a good performance and saying that she would be totally uncomfortable with a man being in the shower with her, most of you would take her side and say her concerns were legitimate.

    To pretend that, as gay men, we would not and do not check out hot straight guys in a communal shower is to be dishonest. To pretend that patting some hot guy on the butt would be totally devoid of sexual desire would also be dishonest…..just as it would be dishonest for a straight man to pretend as much when it comes to attractive women.

    These issues can be dealt with successfully, but they cannot be if we refuse to be honest and meet straight men half-way instead of crying foul every time one of them is honest about his concerns.

    We are not yet so accepted in society that we have any reason to feel confident than we can just dismiss such concerns and get away with it.

    We could still lose….and will, if we are not careful….

  19. brandon h says

    Another straight man who worries gay men will treat them as bad as he treats women given the chance.

    I don’t think these assholes realize what a TERRIFYING place the locker room can be for a gay man worried about homophobic violence. We have more to fear from this moron than he has to fear from getting his butt pinched.

  20. jarago says

    These “straight” players want to play there boys will be boys games, patting each other on the butt, calling other men baby and yes showering together- the usual homoerotic jock culture stuff.

  21. JackFknTwist says

    Would the real Butt Patter please stand up !

    A dumb fantasy of a paranoid fearful little footballer gives rise to all this RICK -like philosophizing about a delusion…….devoid of humour, defensive in what will the straight world will think….

    The best post here solves the issue; if it’s too much for the straight guys to shower with us then get separate rooms !!!

  22. Rick says

    “Another straight man who worries gay men will treat them as bad as he treats women given the chance”

    “And it’s perfectly alright for ex-football players to hasass/rape/kill women”

    “Being looked at the way he looks at women would upset him. Which says all we need to know about how he thinks of women”

    “Homophobia: The irrational fear that gay men will treat you the same way you treat women.”

    As usual, some of you just have to bring women into the conversation, don’t you? That, by itself, should tell you why you are not just “one of the guys” and why so many straight men look askance at you….because other guys don’t try to see things from a woman’s perspective the way so many of you instinctively try to see everything….

    If you want to be accepted by other men–and that is what this is really all about–you need to start thinking of yourselves as men and thinking like men rather than thinking like women and thinking of yourselves as pseudo-women.

    Only then will we make progress….

  23. Rick says

    “A dumb fantasy of a paranoid fearful little footballer gives rise to all this RICK -like philosophizing about a delusion…….devoid of humour, defensive in what will the straight world will think”

    The straight majority is not afraid of you or us and what the straight world thinks will determine whether or not guys like Michael Sam can pursue their dreams or be denied them….whether you like it or not.

    You should all learn your lessons about arrogance from what is going on in Russia right now–the majority can stomp us into the ground any time they want to and there is little we can do about it if they decide to do so (as has been the case with every minority group in history, if you KNOW your history…..)

  24. JackFknTwist says

    @ RICK :

    ” the majority can stomp us into the ground anytime they (sic) want to…”

    Gee, RICK, is this the latest from the Delphic Oracle ?

    As if we didn’t know about being stomped into the ground; as if we weren’t all criminals until the eighties or nineties; as if gays haven’t been singled out for the game of “gay-bashing” for decades.

    Yes, I know a hell of a lot of history and I’m not fearful of any majority and I won’t have my rights or my voice ever silenced again……not even if there were thousands of Scalias denying my rights based on their religious arrogance……..not ours……not even if their were a million Russias/Nigerias/Ugandas.

  25. GregV says

    @Wil: Communal areas to spend time with team members build morale and bonding.
    Personally, I look back st some of my closest friends I’ve been involved in sports with. When a game/tournament/activity/practise is going on, you’re focused on using your skills. It is because of the AFTERWARD part that we were bonded as friends. You talk about a game while you’re getting stuff out of your lockers, you listen to each others’ anecdotes in the sauna, you laugh at each others’ witticisms in the shower, you get dressed while figuring out who’s hungry and where you’re going to go next, and then you all end up at some cool restaurant having a bite to eat and a beer.

    Occasionally (but not often), I’ve been in a gym-type atmosphere that has stalls and curtains like what is usually found in women’s rooms.
    It feels like nobody knows anybody there. There are no conversations going on, and people don’t necessarily even run into each other when they’re leaving.
    They’re far less likely to end up syncing plans to be at the same restaurant or sports bar later.

    Separate change-and-shower areas for each player would be like putting each one in a private booth at a restaurant where he can’t see or speak to anyone.
    I think that hardly any players are scared of the others seeing them naked in the shower or with their shirt off at the locker, so appeasing one idiot in that way would be ridiculous.
    Maybe the one guy who does have a problem should be offered his own little area where he can ho before and after a game where he doesn’t have to see or speak to anyone. He won’t be very known or liked by anyone though, so he probably won’t last long on the team.

  26. says

    Somewhere in his past Ellis was taught that gay men are all predators and like a lot of people he finds it hard to ‘unlearn’. Lot of it has to do with brain chemistry. As silly as the being naked together argument sounds to us to him it’s a perceived fear. (Like vaginas are to Rick.) And as the old adage goes ‘perception is reality’.

    Ellis. Trust me on this. Michael Sam is not going to be leering at anyone in the showers. He’s been playing football for years. Has anyone come forward with a complaint? It’s all in your mind.

    Michael is the one that should be wary. Every closet case in the NFL is going to be verklempt trying to get close enough to get a whiff and a cruise without being too obvious.

    And then half the straight players are going to have the typical first-time-in-a-gay-bar-and-no-one-made-a-pass-at-me response ‘hey, what’s wrong with me? am I ugly?’

    Take good notes Michael. It’ll be a hellofa book one day.

  27. Tsk tsk tsk says

    Oh RICK, you’re the world’s oldest lonely girl.

    RICK says: “I am SURE that if this were a woman saying that no male coach should ever pat her on the butt”…blah blah etc.

    and then RICK says: “As usual, some of you just have to bring women into the conversation, don’t you?”

    LOL !!! RICK you’re so wet and moist over thinking about ass patty-cake that you can’t get your troll arguments together! My my my.

  28. GJP says

    Two things:

    1. Have any of these football players saying things like this ever had a friend of the opposite sex? Like, haven’t they ever been around a woman they just didn’t want to sleep with? I have imagine they have, but maybe I’m giving these straight football players too much credit.

    2. I forsee a world where Michael Sam gets drafted, but has it really rough. I can see him trying to step into the shower, and other guys on his team just leaving as a way to silently protest. I imagine there’s going to be a lot of private abuse/separate but equal nonsense that he is going to have to deal with during his time with his first time – even if it’s publicly denied. Hopefully, he can endure it.

  29. Kenny C says

    Reminds me of a guy from my gym getting his undies in a wad when I told him he could drop the soap a hundred times and I still wouldn’t go near him! “How come? Don’t you think I’m good lookin’?” DOH!

  30. john patrick says

    Time to grow up, Greg. Time to grow up. Gay players have already seen you naked in the shower room. You just didn’t know they were on your team cause they were not telling you.

  31. Steveinde says

    Option 1…straight team-mate pats your butt because, hey, that’s what straight guys do to their straight buddies.

    Option 2…openly Gay team-mate pats your butt because, hey, that’s what guys do to their buddies. However, openly Gay team-mate is likely to refrain from such behavior if he thinks it might make you uncomfortable.

    Option 3…closetted Gay team-mate pats your butt because, hey, it’s what guys do (heh, heh) and, even though you aren’t particularly attractive in any way, it’s the biggest sexual thrill they might get all afternoon.

    I don’t get these supposedly straight guys who are intimidated by well-adjusted co-workers working along side them, but prefer sexually-repressed perverts perving on them.

  32. lg says

    The creep should be so lucky to have his ass patted. Any record on how many, before the announcement, had been patted? Coaches pat butts ALL the time as players move onto the field. I simply stand in total amazement at the pompous so-called str8 players, military, and ….. on and on! I would guess his bible “told him so.”

  33. Garry says

    I hope ESPN doesn’t get mad at me for saying this—-but I wouldn’t feel comfortable having Greg Ellis in the locker room because he might steal my wallet. No offense, but you know how black males are.

  34. Ninong says

    Is he speaking from experience when he says that some Dallas Cowboys players don’t like having their butts patted? Is that how he got his nose messed up?

    I wonder if he kept a record of which NFL players liked their butts patted and which didn’t? He seems to be quite an authority on this subject.

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