Bryan Hawn Shows Off His Elastic Heart: VIDEO


Bryan Hawn and his prodigious hindquarters are back with another parody of a popular music video. This time, the trainer and fitness model tackles Sia's "Elastic Heart." The original video, which featured Shia LaBeouf (Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf) was so caked with grime the viewing guidelines suggested a Silkwood shower after watching. Hawn's version is substantially easier on the eyes (and psyche).

Watch as Hawn bares almost all, AFTER THE JUMP…

In case you missed them, check out Hawn's previous homages to Easy A and Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball."


  1. luke says

    the screencap of the arched back and too small/tight swimmers leaves me scared to watch for fear of being disappointed.

    big butts are always nice though, bears, chubs, muscle dudes, twinks. schwiggity schwooty, gimme dat booty

  2. QJ201 says

    He has that “partied” look about his eyes in many frames.

    And just do porn or hook already.

  3. SamboMan says

    not snarking: how is this a “parody”? It’s like some over-developed little boy (granted, with a killer man-ass) lip-syncing to Sia. Weak.

  4. UFFDA says

    A fail song for sure. But still a truly magnificent body. If his butt could sing he’d be famous for a good twenty years yet.

  5. steve talbert says

    he needs to work more on his voice instead of his body. It’s too high. You can tell his balls are very small.

    He’ll be on Drag Race in about 3 years.

  6. steve talbert says

    Also, that isn’t a parody. To be a parody it has to be sarcastic, humorous, or ironic or something. That guy is very serious. Maybe it’s a travesty.

  7. Steerpike says

    What is the point of this? Yes, it’s a great ass. Yes I would tap that. No, I do not want him to lip-sync a song badly while I consider either of those two truisms.

  8. 24 says

    I had no idea he was “famous” for reasons other than owning a hyena in a Miami condo…dude is kind of really crazy…look up Fatal Attractions Hyena or something like that.

  9. Brad says

    The narcissism is hard to get past. He posts videos of songs that allow him to show off his perfect ass. Kind of making him a perfect ass of himself at the same time.

    This isn’t cute or hot. It’s embarrassing.

  10. a says

    UUUGGGHH..I hate to be a hater. But the narcissism is getting in the way of everything, yes, even those tumors of ass cheeks. And yes,I’d kill to have that ass. But not if it meant having dead eyes, a dopey face, and a clearly questionable level of intelligence.

  11. iban4yesu says

    ran into him at the safeway in the Potrero Hill about a couple of months ago. he said that he just move to san francisco. he was the total sweetheart.”narcissistic” my ass*, he blushed like a little girl when I told him that his mother is also a beauty, reminding him that I posted,”Beauty begets beauty” under his birthday visit clip to his hyena, which is now in an animal sanctuary.(and where is his sloth now?)
    The way too often dreadful local rag Bay Area reporter has for a change a recent and decent interview with this sugar baby gogo boy. check it out on their site.

    no enough already I didn’t have time to check out his infamous butt.youse cheap bitches still should go to Beaux in the castro or something and stick 100 dollar bills in his jockstrap/ g string, and find it out for yourself up close ! LOL

  12. iban4yesu says

    are you crazy 24 /7 like that, 24?

    his major in college was zoology, and his family is loaded, there are ways of using your wealth interestingly other than shoving up coke up your f&cking nostril. plus san francisco is no f&cking florida, so he won’t be allowed to have exotic animals in his apartment in the Castro anyway. after all he must and might have learnt his lesson when the hyenna tore apart his old apartment!lol

  13. Frankly Frank says

    I’d regret it afterwards but still, I’d go for that ass given the chance. And so would most of you.

  14. fanboi says

    I’m not sure how many times a year this guys needs to hear “you have a nice ass” from strangers on the internet, but I guess it’s time to fulfill his Spring quota.

  15. BusterLA says

    I am sitting here oddly both hard and laughing out loud at all these “anti-the sexy guy” comments. Are you serious? Are you really several different people or one nutso writing over and over? Who cares if it is REALLY a parody? Who cares how ‘druggy around the eyes” he looks? So would I if I were his age and looked like that because then people give you FREE DRUGS! And Rick I normally don’t engage with you, but my God if you know anyone who is 50 and looks like that, you need to identify him to the group. LOLOLOLOL

  16. Hadrian says

    No. Just don’t. Nope. Zero Interest. If there was a block button, I’d use it. You can post what you want, but there way better interesting things on Towle Road that keep me coming back, but this kinda crap is a blemish.

  17. Chadd says

    We hear so much about bullying, but reading the comments above, it seems like gay men are among the worst offenders.

  18. xtian2015 says

    I’m a political, left-of-center intellectual, and I say- keep making videos, Brian! You’re hot, and they’re fun to watch (even if I don’t know most of the songs, but- let’s face it, how many people watch these videos in order to hear the music?). In fact, I’d add: show even more of your ass and give us more bulge, too! Too many guys take this sh*t way too seriously. I do think it’s parody in a way, because you could say that he’s giving gay guys (and straight gals) some eye candy that all too often only straight men (and lesbians? But I don’t know if lesbians are turned on by Nikki Minaj?) are given in pop videos.

  19. iban4yesu says

    as the saying goes, if you have it, flaunt it ; if you don’t, fake it.

    But, if you can’t either, what, just f$ck with the one who has it and flaunt it a little bit for the amused pleasure of those who can appreciate the harmless display of God given and self earned beauty?

    sad, very sad…

    this is why we can’t have nice things…

  20. JDH says

    Here he is trying to hawk that godawful $20 ebook about fitness “secrets” like lifting weights and eating healthy. Narcissistic is an understatement. Grifter is more accurate. Enjoy all those PayPal chargebacks, Bryan. Stay classy.