Alec Baldwin Plays a Cou-Gay on Saturday Night Live

A gay night was had by all on Saturday Night Live with Alec Baldwin hosting. The screenshot above came from the best skit of the night, parodying the masturbatory joys of the Wiimote. Baldwin also stepped in to The Cougar Den as a Cou-Gay, and later had an exchange with Will Forte about meeting at a highway rest stop glory hole.

Watch them, AFTER THE JUMP...

Wipe Yourself with a Baldwin Brother

This toilet paper was created for a 30 Rock promo in The Netherlands.

They should go one step further and create a roll featuring Stephen. No doubt plenty of people would love to put him where the sun don't shine.

East Hampton Turns Alec Baldwin into a Nudist, Meat-Eating Gay Man

In his recent profile in The New Yorker, Alec Baldwin jokes to scribe Ian Parker that when he visits the actor at home he'll find a much different person than he finds on the set of 30 Rock:

"In East Hampton, I’m a nudist and I eat meat. I shoot deer with a bow and arrow. I smoke the deer meat and eat it every morning with my eggs and toast. I am a homosexual. I listen to rock music, loud."

The actor also unleashes about 30 Rock:

"If the show does succeed, it’ll be something of a fucking miracle, because NBC hasn’t done a fucking thing to help this show at all. This show is the red-headed stepchild in the lineup. They’ve gone out of their way to wring the last drops out of ‘My Name Is Earl’ and ‘Scrubs.’ Those shows are done! They’re cooked! Yet they do a one-hour episode of ‘Earl’! You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!"

And of course, a more recent version of Baldwin, below:

Why Me? [the new yorker]
(via defamer)

Alec Baldwin Would Take Gay Marriage Over Gay Sex

UK paper The Guardian talks to Alec Baldwin and asks him the pressing political questions:

"In 30 Rock, now in its third season, the characters play a game in which you have to choose whether to boff, marry or kill a random choice of three people. I ask Baldwin to choose between Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain. Who would he boff, marry or kill?"

Baldwin's answer: "'I'd boff Hillary,' he says, totally straight-faced. So that means he believes in gay marriage? 'Well I'd have to because I wouldn't want to sleep with Barack. Barack would just be my long-term companion, as they say. I'd have to have sex with a woman because I'm not gay. I wouldn't want to have sex with Barack Obama or McCain. Obama's wife perhaps. Anybody's wife - Bush's wife, McCain's wife, but no men - not even operating the video camera.' He pauses, weighing up all the options with due seriousness. 'So I'd boff Hillary, marry Obama... and I wouldn't want to kill McCain,' he says contemplatively. 'Maybe I'd lead him out into the woods and leave him there, and I'd come back and tell you that I'd killed him. But I'd lie, I wouldn't really kill him. And knowing McCain, knowing his past in Vietnam, he'd make it back, he'd survive.'"

Which, of course, would not be acceptable to his brother Stephen...

Biographer: Alec Baldwin "Too Fat" to Play Halston

Alec Baldwin has not been quiet about his desire to play the late fashion designer Halston on screen. A little over two years ago, he told the St. Louis Dispatch:

"Here's a man who watched his 50's, closeted, 'Boys in the Band'-era gay culture dissolve under the weight of AIDS and become militant. By the 80's he was surrounded by younger men he was dating and sleeping with who were the new gay, completely out there and completely outspoken. And like all groups who need federal dollars to solve a problem, they were very political. AIDs made homosexuality political. I'm not anything like this guy -- I'm not gay, I don't know about fabrics and textiles -- yet I am dying to play this man!"

Even though he's been playing the tempermental fashion diva in real life, Baldwin's on-screen hopes have been dashed as producers replaced him with Brendan Fraser. Reportedly, Baldwin's too old.

Halston biographer Steven Gaines, upon whose book the upcoming biopic on the designer is based, tells Page Six that it wasn't Baldwin's age that would have cursed him for the role, but his weight. Said Gaines: "Too old? What about too fat?" Gaines seemed to think Fraser fit the role perfectly. "This movie will do for Brendan Fraser what 'Capote' did for Philip Seymour Hoffman."

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