Johnny Knoxville and Parker Posey to Eat John Waters' Fruitcake

Johnny Knoxville and Parker Posey have signed on for John Waters' Christmas movie Fruitcake, says The Hollywood Reporter:

"The plot is officially under wraps but is said to center on the title character, a boy named after his favorite dessert. He runs away from home during the holidays after he and his parents are caught shoplifting meat, then meets up with a runaway girl raised by two gay men and searching for her birth mother. This Is That Prods. and Killer Films are producing "Fruitcake," which once was set up at New Line. ThinkFilm is said to be in talks to come aboard."

Of course, it'll be hard to top the best John Waters Christmas clip ever.

Watch it, AFTER THE JUMP...

That's Divine, of course, in Female Trouble...

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Towleroad Guide to the Tube #215

GRACE JONES: "The Little Drummer Boy" from Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special (1988) following a brief intro.

GUITAR HERO MASTER: Andrew Sullivan has an interesting excerpt of a recent throwdown at Best Buy.

JOHN MCCAIN: Huckabee ain't the only candidate who can use a cross.

DEER GETS REVENGE: Looks like this was uploaded to The Tube a while back, but I thought that watching this deer kick the crap out of a hunter was probably more entertaining than another presidential campaign video.

Check out our previous guides to the Tube here

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Santas in Speedos Jingle Through Boston

It's that time of year again. Boston's annual Speedo Santa Run took place over the weekend and our reader Patrick Lentz was there again to capture it. This year, the fur Speedo introduced by the Santa in the middle last year seems to have caught on. Also joining the run this year was a rowdy gang from Philadelphia.

Hopefully they just tore up a few of those faux fur throws Pottery Barn is hawking this season rather than slaughter any reindeer or albino squirrels.

More AFTER THE JUMP...

Patrick's full set of 2007 Speedo shots is here.

In case you missed last year...
Packages Delivered: Boston's Santa Speedo Run [tr]
Ho Ho Hos: Boston's Santa Speedo Run [tr]

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Merry Christmas from the National Republican Senatorial Committee

The only thing that might have saved this is if they had called in Ben Johnson for a solo.

Warning: If your ears start bleeding it may be a sign that your head is about to explode.

(via pam's house blend)

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Armani Exchange Announces Winner of Underwear Model Search

::EXCLUSIVE::

Last night, at an intimate dinner hosted by Armani Exchange and GQ, Ryan Barry was announced as the winner of the nationwide search for the next A/X underwear model. While I served on a consulting panel of judges (which, let me tell you, was a grueling task!), the most influence over the decision was exerted by the results of a public internet polling process.

Here are the three finalists, shot by photographer Matthew Scrivens at Pier 59 in New York this week: Ryan Barry (above), Daniel Lee (below, left) and Michael Bellantuono (below, right).

Related
Behind the Billboards: Clint Mauro [tr]
Clint Mauro for Armani Exchange — A/X Underwear [tr]
(note: a/x is an occasional advertiser on towleroad)

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Marc Jacobs Dresses as Camel Toe for Holiday Party

Fashion designer Marc Jacobs apparently decided to stop taking off his clothes and don some gay apparel for his holiday party at the Rainbow Room in New York, showing up dressed as a camel toe.

Recently
Marc Jacobs Extends His Naked Moment [tr]
Marc Jacobs Doesn't Get The Hills [tr]
Marc Jacobs: Naked in Paris with a Poltergeist Tattoo [tr]
Marc Jacobs' Boyfriend Hits Town Wearing Dead Mouse [tr]

(via faded youth)

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A Larry Craig Xmas: Happy Holidays From Our Stall to Yours

Wonkette posted this image which appears on a Christmas card from a D.C. lobbying group, and wonders if the Larry Craig men's room jokes may have jumped the shark. Nevertheless, they're soliciting captions for it in the comments, some of which are quite amusing. Feel free to add your own here.

Christmas Is the Season for Sharing [wonkette]

You may have missed...
George Clooney Cruised By Toe-Tapper in the Men's Room [tr]

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Towleroad Guide to the Tube #209

HILLARY CLINTON: A new Iowa spot - "New Beginning".

TELECOM IMMUNITY: New Courage Campaign spot on upcoming FISA vote featuring Bradley Whitford.

CHIQUITITA: A bit of ABBA cheer for your holiday season.

RHYDIAN: His latest X-Factor performance, "Bridge Over Troubled Water".

Check out our previous guides to the Tube here

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Anti-Gay Carolers Wish Target Shoppers a Homophobic Holiday

Shoppers at a Target department store in Sacramento were greeted by a group of anti-gay Christmas carolers who say they were there to protest California's pending anti-discrimination school curriculum legislation.

According to NBC11, who said shoppers had mixed reactions: "The store put out a no-loitering sign and called the police, but officials said the carolers were allowed to stay, as they hadn't broken any laws."

Below, a report from CBS13 Sacramento.

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Towleroad Guide to the Tube #205

BRAD PITT: Rebuilding New Orleans one house at a time.

CARSON KRESSLEY: He recently led a 100 Elf March for TJ Maxx.

NICK CLARK-SPEAR: A Towleroad reader sent me this bit of holiday cheer, direct from his bathroom. I consider him a gift.

RESCUE THE CONSTITUTION: FOX is refusing to run this ad, voiced by Danny Glover. According to Think Progess, the network wants 'documentation' that the constitution 'is indeed being destroyed.'"

Check out our previous guides to the Tube here

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Larry Craig Doll: I Am Not Gay, I Never Have Been Gay.

Online toy manufacturer Stupid.com is selling a Senator Larry Craig doll for the closeted Republicans on your holiday list.

Ays the doll when you press a button: "Thank you all very much for coming out today. I will read a statement: 'I am not gay. I never have been gay." The company says this is a preliminary photo of the doll. They're working on another one, preferably with suit, tie, and American flag lapel pin.

The company mentions that the doll even has a wide stance, but I wonder how well his toe taps?

And to be fair and balanced, they do also sell a Hillary nutcracker.

Larry Craig doll [stupid.com]

(via 365gay)

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Santas Told Not to Say "Ho Ho Ho" Because it Offends Women

Seriously?

Santa Clauses in Sydney, Australia have been told to say "Ha Ha Ha" instead.

Agence France Presse reports: "One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use 'ho ho ho' because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute."

The spokeswoman for a group that campaigns against media that might sexualize children balked: "Gimme a break. We are talking about little kids who do not understand that 'ho, ho, ho' has any other connotation and nor should they. Leave Santa alone."

A spokesman for the company hiring out the Santas, Westaff, reportedly said the directive would be left up to each Santa's discretion.

The only way I'd possibly be offended was if Don Imus had donned the red suit as a bell-ringer for the Salvation Army.

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Number of American Troops Killed in Iraq Exceeds 9/11 Deaths

The number of American troops killed in Iraq (2,977) now exceeds the number of civilians killed (2,973) on 9/11.

The grim milestone came on Christmas day: "President Bush has said that the Iraq war is part of the United States' post-Sept. 11 approach to threats abroad, and that going on the offense against enemies before they could harm Americans meant removing the Taliban from power in Afghanistan, pursuing members of al-Qaida and seeking regime change in Iraq. Democratic leaders point out that there has not been any credible evidence linking Iraq to the Sept. 11 attacks and have said the war in Iraq detracted from efforts against al-Qaida and other terrorist groups."

Meanwhile, the U.S. continues to face down Iran, discoveries of torture evidence remain commonplace, and it looks likely that Saddam Hussein may hang within a month.

And our armed forces are so stretched to the limit that the Pentagon is considering outsourcing them.

What answers will Bush's "listening tour" have provided? Find out in January.

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Towleroad Guide to the Tube #65

ZUNE WITH BENEFITS: So this is what Microsoft is resorting to to beat the iPod!

GAYEST XMAS EVER: (source: worth repeating)

HILLARY DOES THE VIEW: No rants from Rosie this time. (part 2 here)

JAMES DOBSON: Distorts research in Time magazine attack on Mary Cheney.

Don't miss our past guides to the Tube here!

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Towleroad Guide to the Tube #64

ROBBIE WILLIAMS: In drag? An explanation here.

THE WHITE DEER: Save us!

ROSS THE INTERN: Ross meets Steve Irwin (an oldie but goodie).

THIS WEEK IN GOD: The Daily Show's Samantha Bee's Christmas Christacular. (source: virtual matter)

Check out the rest of our guides to the Tube here!

And I can't embed it, but make sure to check out World of Wonder's 12 Days of 2006.

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Moscow Sees A Different Kind of Santa Gathering

Thousands of Santas demonstrated on the streets of Moscow last weekend but were not necessarily demonstrating holiday spirit.

The participants were actually not dressed as Santa, but as Grandfather Frost and the Snow Maiden, Russian equivalents of Santa Claus.

They are members of the Russian pro-Kremlin youth group Nashi (more on that here), and there is debate about whether the group represents a benevolent or sinister force in Russia. Nonetheless, as The Age notes, the movement is reminiscent of the Soviet era:

"As the youngsters swayed to the 'patriotic karaoke' emanating from the stage, a voice boomed out from the loudspeakers exhorting them to reinvent Russia's lost glory. 'Let the miracle happen,' the voice cried out. 'Let heart reach out to heart so our country can rise once more.'"

Nashi's aim is supposedly anti-fascist, but some wonder: "The movement's rhetoric is profoundly anti-Western and Nashi apes many elements of the Komsomol, the Communist Party's youth league. Ostensibly, Nashi's main political aim is to fight fascism but liberals call it 'Nashisti', a play on the Russian 'fascisti'."

Quite a contrast to the recent gathering of Santas in Boston.

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Good Boys Get to Sit on Brandon Flowers' Lap

I'm usually not a huge fan of holiday music by rock bands but the new Killers single "A Great Big Sled" is an exception, and it benefits the (RED) campaign.

Said guitarist Dave Keuning: "We came up with the song during a soundcheck. We often use our sound-checks to write new material, as they're the perfect time to spend half an hour noodling away, and Brandon and I decided that it would be great to do a Christmas song. There haven't been that many Christmas songs by rock bands. I mean, you've got John Lennon's one ["Happy Xmas - War is Over"], and a handful of others. But we felt there was something else to be played, and started cooking up some ideas. We recorded it during a day off work a week ago."

"A GREAT BIG SLED" — The Killers [itunes]

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Laura Bush in Red Dress Alert at the White House

Three women experienced their worst holiday nightmare following Sunday's Kennedy Center Honors when they showed up to the White House reception wearing the same $8,500 red Oscar de la Renta dress as First Lady Laura Bush.

Unfortunately they were not promoting Bono's (RED) campaign.

Laura Bush went upstairs and changed mid-party. CBS News talked to Letitia Baldridge, Jacqueline Kennedy's Chief of Staff and White House social secretary: "They all should have congratulated one another on their good taste and the fact that they could afford the dress." As for Mrs. Bush, Baldridge noted: "[Changing outfits] was the right thing to do, take the heat off the other women."

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Mock ACLU Nativity Scene features "Gary and Joseph"

In an attempt to expose the "extremity" of the ACLU, the University of Texas Chapter of The Young Conservatives of Texas has installed an unusual nativity scene on that university's Austin campus to be on display at least through today. A handy explanation is provided on the YCT website:

“We’ve got Gary and Joseph instead of Mary and Joseph in order to symbolize ACLU support for homosexual marriage, and of course there isn’t a Jesus in the manger,” said Chairman Tony McDonald. “The three Wise Men are Lenin, Marx, and Stalin because the founders of the ACLU were strident supporters of Soviet style Communism. The whole scene is a tongue-in-cheek way of showing the many ways that the ACLU and the far left are out of touch with the values of mainstream America.”

So same-sex parents can't have a child, eh? A terrorist shepherd and an angel with the face of Nancy Pelosi also feature prominently.

Said Executive Director Joseph Wyly: "The ACLU and other left-wing extremist groups are working diligently to destroy American’s rights to the free expression of religion. We’ve already seen in Chicago an attempt to censor the nativity by a city government this week. It’s just more evidence that there is a War on Christmas being waged by the far-left in this country."

Now that's the wingnut Christmas spirit. However I don't think "the values of mainstream America" they're trying to promote necessarily agree with those of the Saviour they've chosen to exclude.

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Break Time for Santa isn't Just Milk and Cookies

I realize human interest stories about Santa Clause start to get popular this time of year, but this glimpse of department store training day in London offers perhaps just a bit too much information.

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