Jon Stewart Rips House Republicans for Sandy Relief FAIL: VIDEO

Jon Stewart looks at the House Republican inability to help those who lost everything in Hurricane Sandy.

"This is just a simple down the middle, black and white, cut and dry, warm cup of what would Jesus, or any other human being that isn't an a**hole, do? And you blew it. You blew it."

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

House GOP Approves Funding to Defend DOMA, While Blocking Sandy Relief, Violence Against Women Act

Here are the priorities of House Republicans:

Despite a late-stage intervention by Vice President Joe Biden, House Republican leaders failed to advance the Senate's 2012 reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, an embattled bill that would have extended domestic violence protections to 30 million LGBT individuals, undocumented immigrants and Native American women.

"The House leadership would not bring it up, just like they wouldn't bring up funding for Sandy [hurricane damage] last night," said Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash.), a key backer of the Senate version of the bill, in an interview with HuffPost. "I think they are still so kowtowing to the extreme on the right that they're not even listening to the moderates, and particularly the women, in their caucus who are saying they support this."

They did have time to support further anti-gay discrimination though by authorizing further funding to defend the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA):

A GOP source told The Huffington Post that, during a closed-door meeting of the House Republican Conference, lawmakers gave a green light to including language in the 113th Congress rules package that authorizes the House legal team, known as the Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group (BLAG), to keep paying outside counsel to defend the Defense of Marriage Act in court. The proposed House rules package also states that BLAG continues to "speak for" the House in its defense of DOMA...

...A spokesman for House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) on Thursday slammed Republicans for taking "the extraordinary measure" of using the opening day rules package of the new Congress to authorize themselves to keep defending DOMA.

"Today, House Republicans will send a clear message to LGBT families: their fiscal responsibility mantra does not extend to their efforts to stand firmly on the wrong side of the future," said Pelosi spokesman Drew Hammill.

Hammill also noted that the rules package "for the first time" explicitly states that BLAG speaks for the full House on DOMA matters -- something he said is definitely not the case.

News: David Davies, Seattle Hate Crime, A Graduate, 'Scary Movie 5'

British tabloids are salivating over word that Kieran Hayler, boyfriend of celebrity Katie Price, had online sex with another man. "He got his kicks and I got mine," said a 23-year old student who claims to have been on the receiving end of stripper Hayler's virtual love.

Here's an article on what happens to doomsayers after the world doesn't end: "Doomsday believers tend to pick up and get on with their lives more successfully if they have strong networks of family and friends, [University of Alabama sociologist Stephen Kent said. The grassroots nature of the Mayan apocalypse predictions is therefore troubling, he said. 'The isolated individuals who encounter these predictions on the Internet may be terribly alone,' he said."

For your consideration, the biggest box office bombs of 2012.

This is what Lindsay Lohan has been reduced to: Scary Movie 5.

David Davies, the conservative MP who said that fellow conservatives' plans for marriage equality in England were "barking mad," now says he's sorry. "I haven't done years of diversity training, so sometimes I say things which are probably tactless, and I don't mean to, to be honest, I don't mean to do that," the former farmer and truck driver said. He added, "This law is going to happen, and the best thing to do is just shut up and accept it, really, which is probably why I shouldn't have accepted this interview. Too late now."

Congratulations to Boy Meets World actress Danielle Fisher on graduating from college! "After my 27th birthday, I made the decision to stop letting fear be a factor in fulfilling my dreams and living the life I wanted, so with a little encouragement from friends and family, I enrolled," she said of achieving her dream.

Kate Moss, goddess with nearly naked male models at her beck and call.

Seattle prosecutors are pursuing hate crime charges against a man who used anti-gay slurs while threatening a gay man. "Oh, I forgot. I am in Washington state. We need to protect the (anti-gay slur)," the man, a recent transplant to the city, reportedly said during his arrest in August."

Eli Roth's latest cinematic endeavor, Aftershock, provides a new premise for a gruesome exploration of human nature. Emphasis on gruesome.

Check out this video of the Fire Island Pavilion circa 1999, before the original 1980 structure was torn down, reconstructed and then destroyed in Hurricane Sandy. Why does 1999 look so long ago?

Via CNN, some gendered spending habits: "The Clarus Research Group poll found the average married man will spend $493 on gifts for his wife this year, while wives will spend less than half of that on their husbands. The average married woman said she would spend $210."

Victorian gay marriage: "During the 19th century, women in what some Victorians referred to as 'female marriages' lived together, owned property in common, called each other 'hubby' or 'wedded wife' and were recognized as a couple, including by the traditionalists among their neighbors and friends."

Will House Speaker John Boehner eat worms for Christmas?

From Cincinnati, Ohio: "Singer Jonathan Zeng says that being discriminated against because he is gay was a blessing rather than a curse."

 

In Five Days, Jacob Tobia Will Run Across the Brooklyn Bridge in Stilettos for Homeless LGBT Youth: VIDEO

Duke University junior Jacob Tobia is putting on his best heels this Saturday for NYC's Ali Forney Center, which was devastated by Hurricane Sandy.

Writes Tobia:

Many of you know me for my gender-bending style and fabulous high-heels, and to help out the Ali Forney Center, I'm putting them to good use. If I can raise $10,000 by Saturday, December 15th, I will run across the iconic Brooklyn Bridge--which is over a mile long--in 5" stilettos. So if you want to see me do the impossible, donate to my campaign and encourage your friends to do the same. 100% of donations will go directly to the Ali Forney Center, and all donations are fully tax deductible.

Watch his warm-up video, AFTER THE JUMP...

And help him out here.

Romney Campaign, GOP Sore Over Chris Christie's Obama Embrace

The NYT reports on how furious various members of the GOP and the Romney campaign are at NJ Governor Chris Christie for putting his state ahead of his party in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy:

Inside the Romney campaign, there is little doubt that Mr. Christie’s expressions of admiration for the president, coupled with ubiquitous news coverage of the hurricane’s aftermath, raised Mr. Obama’s standing at a crucial moment.

During a lengthy autopsy of their campaign, Mr. Romney’s political advisers pored over data showing that an unusually large number of voters who remained undecided until the end of the campaign backed Mr. Obama. Many of them cited the storm as a major factor in their decision, according to a person involved in the discussion.

“Christie,” a Romney adviser said, “allowed Obama to be president, not a politician.”

In a sign of residual frustration, a banner headline popped up on Sunday on a Romney-friendly Web site, The Drudge Report, going after Mr. Christie for appearing on “Saturday Night Live” this past weekend “as residents suffer.”

Then of course, there are all the other reasons Romney lost:

Mr. Christie is, of course, a convenient scapegoat for a candidacy that fell short for many reasons — demographic, ideological and personal — and Mr. Romney’s campaign manager, Matt Rhoades, emphasized that Mr. Christie did “exactly what a governor should do” in a crisis.

Towleroad Guide to the Tube #1251

THE ROCKAWAYS: A powerful documentation of loss and Hurricane Sandy relief efforts.

ORCAS HUNT A DOG: Matheson Bay, New Zealand.

FACESHIFT: New software captures facial expressions in real time.

MARRIAGE NEWS WATCH: A two-year losing streak for anti-gay groups.

For previous Guides to the Tube, click HERE.