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Stephen Colbert Drills Andy Cohen About His 'Epic Shallowness': VIDEO

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Stephen Colbert invited Bravo host and executive Andy Cohen over to talk about his new book, The Andy Cohen Diaries. Cohen says he modeled the book off of Andy Warhol's diaries because he felt Warhol provided him a model because of their common late-night, celebrity-filled, pop-culture-obsessed interests.

Cohen_colbertAsked Colbert: "There are so many challenges you face in this book. You fall asleep during your massages. Your local dry cleaners change management without warning. You're trying to get to Fire Island but for some reason West 12th street is closed. Where do you find the courage to go on, Andy Cohen?"

Among the moments of the book up for discussion was an evening Cohen spent with Lady Gaga and 17-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai trying to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Asks Colbert: "Was she trying to invite Malala to be a 'little monster' whereas Malala actually lives in a country full of actual monsters?"

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Stephen Colbert Wags His Finger at Tim Cook's Gayness: VIDEO

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In his Tip/Wag segment last night, Stephen Colbert took a look at Nazi dairy products, the news that men who have multiple sexual partners have a lower incidence of prostate cancer, and Tim Cook's coming out.

Warns Colbert:

"Yes, Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay, which means two years from now, Microsoft's CEO will also come out as gay."

He also advises Cook on what he should have done:

"As a corporate titan this man should follow tradition and hide his sexuality in the Caymans."

Finally, he's angry Cook shows no remorse for being gay, and forecasts what is going to happen six months from now.

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Stephen Colbert Agrees with Louie Gohmert's Warnings About Gay Massage in the Military: VIDEO

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Last week, wingnut Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) issued a warning about gays in the military:

"I've had people say, 'Hey, you know, there's nothing wrong with gays in the military. Look at the Greeks.' Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, it's a different kind of fighting, it's a different kind of war and if you're sitting around getting massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you're not going to last very long."

Stephen Colbert agrees:

"Gohmert knows his history, or he may have just been watching the gay version of the film 300, by which I mean the one released in theaters."

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Stephen Colbert Doesn't 'Give a Whatevs' About the String of Recent Gay Marriage Victories: VIDEO

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Stephen Colbert is now blasé about the whole gay marriage thing (because it's popular!) but last night he expressed surprise about the most recent state to come down:

"Gay marriage is legal in Alaska! Gay couples will have the right to celebrate the traditional Alaskan way - by having Bristol Palin cold-cock one of their guests."

He also took a look at recent statements by the Catholic church that have been perceived as welcoming to gay people.

Check it out, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Stephen Colbert Presents 'The Gay Civil War': VIDEO

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With more than 50% of Americans now living in a state where gay people can get married, and House Speaker John Boehner campaigning for gay Republicans like Carl DeMaio, and organizations like NOM and the Family Research Council fighting back for anti-gay Americans, Stephen Colbert sees just one thing in the country's future: The Gay Civil War.

Watch as he unveils his film about this dramatic turning point in our nation's history, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Colbert Welcomes His 'Government-Mandated Life Partner' Since Gay Marriage is Inevitable: VIDEO

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After hearing Jeffrey Toobin tell Wolf Blitzer that it's "inevitable the rest of the country will follow" the states that have adopted gay marriage, Stephen Colbert thanked his wife Lorraine "for 25 good years" and welcomed his new husband and welcomed his new "government-mandated life partner Roger Cornsworth."

Still, Stephen is "pumped to the gavels" for the start of the Supreme Court session and takes a look at the rise in influence of "friend of the court", or amicus briefs, which were cited by SCOTUS 124 times from 2008 to 2013.

"As a wise man once said, there's nothing wrong with quoting someone who doesn't know what they're talking about."

Colbert welcomes Professor Allison Orr Larsen to examine whether this phenomenon is a good or a bad thing.

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

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