News: Zac Loses Hair, Kern Gets Stern, Goldman $tack$ the Deck

 Very important update: the Delhi High Court's ruling decriminalizing homosexuality actually does apply to all of India.

 Somewhat less important update: Zac Efron gets shorn.

 Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern (R-duh) issues a morality proclamation that equates homosexuality and marriage equality with sex trafficking and child abuse. Don't feel too bad—divorcées, those who bear children out of wedlock and porn aficionados don't make out any better.

 Has Goldman Sachs "engineered every major market manipulation since the Great Depression"?

 Rumors that Michael Jackson (who was mixing the painkillers OxyContin and Demerol with a surgical anesthetic called Diprivan) had a cancerous lesion removed from (what was left of) his nose are confirmed. His funeral service—dubbed Michael Jackson Celebration of Life—to be held Tuesday at L.A.'s Staples Center, is projected to be one of the most-viewed events ever, drawing comparisons to the funeral of John F. Kennedy, the Apollo 11 moon landing and the finale of M*A*S*H. Want to attend? Enter here for tickets.

 Happy birthday, Malia Obama.

 Why it's sometimes okay to ask Mexican students to "pull it out."

 New Moon star Kellan Lutz improves his Social Life.

 In light of the recent spate of air disasters, meet Juliane Koepcke, who at 17 in 1971 survived a plane crash, plunging two miles from the sky into the Amazon rainforest...still attached to her row of seats.

 Pirates: Not just for Somalia anymore.

 Is Martina Navratilova screwing over the gays...or are the gays screwing over Martina Navratilova?

 Vice President Biden's surprise trip to Camp Victory in Iraq leads him to tell George Stephanopolous the reports from Commanding General Ray Odierno were "more optimistic" than he'd expected. Biden also used the visit to see his son, Beau, who was stationed a few minutes away.

 The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee sent its 2009 Priority Issues Survey to all of its fave donors, asking them to vote on which issues should be prioritized this year. See if you can name a dozen Democratic priorities without listing a single LGBT issue—because the DCCC can.

 You're never too old to camp it up.

 New York Governor David Paterson, who's only slightly more popular than H1N1, is meeting with Senate Republicans and Democrats (who are actually a few percentage points below the flu) today as a spokesman suggests progress is being made toward sharing power.

 What it took for Sherri Shepherd to refuse candy.

 The Queen of Pop salutes the fallen King—the second leg of Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicks off in London tomorrow with at least three major set changes. On the Jacko tip, portions of "Billie Jean" and "Wanna Be Startin' Something" are reportedly incorporated into a new version of "Holiday" (replacing Hard Candy album track "Heartbeat"), which is already packed with bits of "Everybody" and the new song "Celebrate." Other surprises spoiled here. (Good luck getting to O2 Arena.)

News: Frank Kameny, Saturday Night Fever, Frog God, Wales

Re-hearing petition filed in Prop 8 challenge? UPDATE: See, AFTER THE JUMP...

AP: Pioneering activist Frank Kameny talks gays and government.

Simon Cowell to remake Saturday Night Fever with Zac Efron as Tony Manero?

Point Foundation announces 2009 scholars.

Jon Voight slams Obama: False prophet.

Hell's Kitchen host Gordon Ramsey calls Australian TV host Tracy Grimshaw a lesbian pig: "Later he said he was only joking.Grimshaw, though, failed to see the humor and retaliated on her program Monday night, calling Ramsay an 'arrogant narcissist' and a 'bully.'"

Malawian court has Mercy on Madonna: she'll be allowed to adopt.

Tom Brady rescued from overturned kayak in the Charles River in Boston: “He had to be rescued. The launch guy went out and got him and got him back in the kayak. He’s been bragging about it ever since. He’s telling everyone he rescued Tom Brady.”

Joan Garry: Obama lacking 'empathy' on gay rights.

Inside a NYC fundraiser for Gavin Newsom.

Multi-colored frog worshiped as a god in India?

KXRQ-FM Radio hosts who mocked transgender children to do special segment featuring transgender advocates: "Rashad Robinson of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation said Monday that the general manager of station KXRQ-FM told him that talk show hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States also plan to apologize during Thursday's show. During their May 28 program, one of the men said he would hit his son with his shoe if he wanted to wear high heels. The other quipped that a boy who asked to wear a dress was 'a little idiot.'  Several companies threatened to pull advertising from the station after GLAAD launched a letter-writing campaign against the comments."

Welsh gay men targeted by rangers with cameras in park raids?

No biting: Adam Lambert licks Twilight director.

Mika debuts new songs in London.

Graffiti art's new respect: "Like a slow-burning fuse, graffiti has smoldered in the contemporary art world for decades: omnipresent in the streets yet not quite hot enough to catch fire in the market. But this year it exploded, with graffiti and “street art” shows in major museums and gallery spaces both sides of the Atlantic — and people have been lining up round the block to get in."

One Life to Live to out two existing male characters played by openly gay  Scott Evans (Chris Evans' brother) and Brett Claywell, and put them in a love affair.

Is Dominic Monaghan joining Grey's Anatomy?

Brooklyn Assemblyman wants all non-Jews out of Holocaust memorial: "Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov Hikind doesn't want gays, political prisoners, gypsies, the handicapped — or any other group of people persecuted and killed by the hundreds of thousands during the Holocaust — to be recognized at the city-owned Holocaust Memorial Park in Sheepshead Bay. Even though 5 million non-Jews were killed by the Nazis alongside the 6 million Jews, Hikind says that 'to include these other groups diminishes their memory.'"

UPDATE to first item, AFTER THE JUMP...

News: Amazing Race, Aaron Schock, DOMA, Twitter, Muffins, UVA

Pelosi to Bay Area Reporter: Repeal of DOMA not a top priority.

Jared Polis considering introducing omnibus LGBT rights bill in the House.

Zac Efron's nut-tingling leftovers.

The current Amazing Race, which has at least two additional contestants who are gay but not identified as such, closets contestants because producers want them to play to their types. Mel White: "After Luke 'found out that Mike and I were being billed as gay, he wanted to be billed as gay,' but a producer said—and this is Mel paraphrasing a conversation he had with an unnamed producer—‘No, we’re establishing you as what we want you to be established. He’s established as deaf. You’re established as gay, so don’t be interrupting what we're trying to do here.’”

Mel White talks to AfterElton...

Elton John to perform at Andy Roddick's wedding this weekend.

1,000,000: Ashton Kutcher beats CNN in weeklong Twitter war.

Defense Secretary Gates remains cautious on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repeal: “Everybody in this room knows that this is a complex and difficult problem. [Then he noted that President Harry S. Truman had signed an executive order integrating the armed services in 1948] and that it was five years before the process was completed. I’m not saying that’s a model for this, but I’m saying that I believe that this is something that needs to be done very, very carefully.’’

Eli Manning: I'm better looking than Peyton.

Sarah Palin's anti-gay attorney general nominee REJECTED.

Ohio teacher resigns after taking high school students to gay bar: "Lori Epperson submitted a letter of resignation Thursday. She also sent an email to her supervisor and the school principal in which she admits to taking four female students to a club called Masque."

Tony Perkins at the Family Research Council has the lie-spewing turned up full throttle.

Britney Spears stalked by former American Idol contesant peeping Tomasina.

Stephen Colbert talks to the Brody Jenner of Congress, Rep. Aaron Schock.

Gay muffin tops!

Long Island gay and lesbian groups to honor Harvey Milk this weekend: "Milk's nephew, Stuart Milk, will accept an award on Saturday from the Long Island Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Services Network. Milk grew up on Long Island and graduated from high school there in the late 1940s — keeping his sexuality a well-guarded secret."

UVA students hold a rally against anti-gay hate: "Several hundred people gathered at UVA’s amphitheater last night for the Stand Against Hatred. The vigil and public forum was in response to the April 4 attack on a UVA student that was apparently motivated by anti-gay bias."

Maryland to protect the homeless under hate crimes statute: "The groundbreaking measure, championed by one of the legislature's most conservative Republicans, was approved in the House of Delegates four minutes before the General Assembly adjourned at midnight Monday. O'Malley (D) is reviewing the bill, which also adds penalties for violent crimes against people targeted because of their gender or disability."

Zac Efron Jumps for GQ

 

Fresh from having his toes nibbled by Jason Sudeikis, Zac Efron continues his promotional blitz with a visit to the cover of GQ and this inside shot of the actor as a shirtless flag.

The profile touches briefly on how High School Musical exists in the closet:

"And the weird thing is that this, basically, ironically, is the plot of the movie that made Efron who he is today. High School Musical is about a young man struggling to choose between high school sports and the temptation of musical theater, and finding the courage to do something his buddies think is totally gay, except it’s a Disney movie and therefore it takes place in a universe where being gay does not exist, so Troy’s buddies just say things like 'You ever think LeBron James and Shaquille O’Neal auditioned for their school musical?'

“'It was the worst possible thing you could do in high school,' Efron agrees. 'Kids who are in musical theater tend to be self-confident in a quirky kind of way, and when kids who are really self-conscious see somebody doing that kind of thing, they try to bring them down. I used to do random things, man. When I was a kid? I dyed my hair silver, to look like SisQó in the 'Thong Song' video. I just didn’t give a fuck. I didn’t care.'”

Cover image, AFTER THE JUMP...

Zac Efron's Feet Get Pervy Tongue Bath on SNL

Jason Sudeikis played a pervy older brother who decided to nibble on his little bro's feet on this week's SNL.

Watch it, AFTER THE JUMP...

Zac Efron's Pool Party

Zac Efron's Pool Party, which Funny or Die has been hyping for days (and was presumably created to hype Efron's new film 17 Again), finally appeared on their site today and is maybe the unfunniest viral video ever. Someone assembled Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Tom Lennon, Nicole Sullivan, Carmen Electra, Brittany Snow, Jessica Stroup, Brody Jenner, Nicole Richie, Joel Madden, Queen Latifah, Lonelygirl, and Justin Long, among others, for this train wreck, which ends with the requisite turd in the pool joke.

Watch it if you're curious, AFTER THE JUMP...