John McCain on Gay Adoption, Marriage, the Internet


In an interview with the NYT on Sunday, John McCain said flat out that he doesn’t believe gay couples should be allowed to adopt children:

“I think that we’ve proven that both parents are important in the success of a family so, no, I don’t believe in gay adoption.”

Forget all the same-sex couples who have successfully raised children. He and Cindy set the standard.

He also spoke on the subject of same-sex marriage: “Many social conservatives strenuously oppose California’s decision to allow same-sex marriage. But Mr. McCain, who also opposes same-sex marriage, has always said that the issue is up to the states, and in the interview he said he would stick to that position as president even if California chose to continue allowing gay marriage after putting the matter to a statewide vote in November. ‘I respect the right of the states to make those decisions,’ he said.”

McCain also talked about his use of the internet (clip from the Personal Democracy Forum 2008 in late June): “He said, ruefully, that he had not mastered how to use the Internet and relied on his wife and aides like Mark Salter, a senior adviser, and Brooke Buchanan, his press secretary, to get him online to read newspapers (though he prefers reading those the old-fashioned way) and political Web sites and blogs. ‘They go on for me,’ he said. ‘I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself. I don’t expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need.'”

In other news, following the reports of Alabama Attorney General Troy King’s possible resignation over a gay affair, the McCain campaign scrubbed all references to King from its website.

And Michelangelo Signorile discusses McCain’s sham marriages, responding to an L.A. Times article over the weekend which reported on the fact that McCain had obtained a marriage license for Cindy while still married to his first wife: “Although McCain suggested in his autobiography that months passed between his divorce and remarriage, the divorce was granted April 2, 1980, and he wed Hensley in a private ceremony five weeks later. McCain obtained an Arizona marriage license on March 6, 1980, while still legally married to his first wife.”

McCain’s Conservative Model? Roosevelt (Theodore, That Is) [nyt]


  1. thin mint says

    Just a reminder: legal marriage approved by a state government has NO effect on federal immigration status.

    You can legally be married in California, and your foreign-born husband will still be subject to visa renewal and deportation, while a man’s foreign-born wife would automatically get permanent resident status.

    McCain’s insistence on treating the question at the state level is NOT just procedural – it denies even legally married gay men and women the full benefits of marriage that all straight couples enjoy.

  2. ggreen says

    Will this stop the brain dead gay Republicans from supporting this ass hat? I don’t think so either; they are too busy getting their hate on in other ways. Gays for McCain=Chickens for Col. Sanders.

  3. Sportin' Life says

    “…both parents are important in the success of a family…”

    Well, at least until one of the parents gets tired of the other one–because she had a bad car accident and doesn’t look at hot as she used to–and wants to go start a new family with someone much wealthier (who he’s already been f*cking for quite a while). Then “both parents” become sort of optional, right John?

  4. Philip Wester says

    Wait, he can’t even surf blogs and newssites?! What kind of an incompetent fool is this?!

    THIS is the guy some people want for president? Someone who can’t even use a computer, someone who remarried almost immediately after divorcing his wife because she got into an accident while waiting faithfully for him while he was MIA, someone who seems, at times, senile, like when he yelled at that girl at a rally…

    I truly hope people wise up and don’t vote for McCain come November. He’s ACTUALLY worse than Bush!

  5. Derrick from Philly says

    Cindy and John aren’t that bright, are they? George & Laura sparkle in comparison. So, John McCain doesn’t know that both gay parents can’t be important in the success of a family.

    All that money and so dull, and maybe a little stupid.

  6. walker says

    I wonder what the kids of gay parents think about this? McCain is a monster. This is too much. If he said that Jews or Blacks can’t be good parents he would be out of the running. INSANE that these comments are tolerated.

  7. Banne says

    Thin Mint: Obama’s stand on the issue is exactly the same, so his insistence on treating the issues at the state level is also not only procedural but denies exactly the same thing.

    It is clear McCain leans more heavily to the right on the issue of gay marriage equality, but procedurally and philosophically he and Obama do not view the legal ramifications any differently.

    There are reasons as a gay person to vote for Obama over McCain, but gay marriage is NOT one of them.

  8. Banne says

    Walker, I think your analogy of McCain’s statements about gay parents versus black or Jewish parents is off. A better comparison would be if he were to say single parents are not fit to adopt children b/c his entire argument is that you need a male and female parental figure to make adoption successful. It isn’t that a gay couple is unfit b/c they are gay, it’s because they are of the same sex.

    I think he’s clearly off base and wrong, but let’s face it, many states do not allow single parents to adopt either. They are discriminated against for the very same reasons gay couples are.

    Let’s not argue that it is anti-gay but that the principle of having two genders raising children is necessary or preferable. That helps more people in the long run adopt children in need.

  9. Brian says

    I really think it’s great that he has set some realistic goals and doesn’t “expect to be a great communicator,” because, you know, being the leader of the U.S. communication would be at the bottom of the list of skills to possess.

  10. Walker says

    To make the statement that a straight couple is better quieted to raise a child than a gay couple or a single person is so 10 years ago, so Dr. Laura. It is absolutely 100% ignorant and panders to the far right.

    I have to assume that the purpose of his statement was to be anti-gay and to garner support from those who share his opinion. I do not think he has a problem with a single heterosexuals adopting. This is transparent code-talk.

  11. Banne says

    Walker, I agree, but the easiest argument to make is to show that it does not take two parents of different genders to raise a child, not that gay people should have the “right” to do it. Anti-gay people don’t care about that, so you have to take the root of their fallacious argument and destroy it. They aren’t saying gay people cannot adopt because they are immoral, they are saying they are incapable. So you can’t argue under the assumption that the argument is that gay people are moral, you have to argue that they are capable. Calling people anti-gay isn’t going to help you.

    And I am sure he does have issues with single parent adoptions. It’s not as common as you think and possibly even less common than gay adoption. The arguments against both are the same and are wrong.

  12. Sportin' Life says

    Banne, you’re spreading lies and misinformation. I don’t believe there’s a single state that has a law against singles adopting, not even those which prohibit same-sex couples or gay individuals from doing so–though if you can produce some links instead of just making things up, we’ll all be happy to learn something.

    One major difference between Obama and McCain on SSM. Obama opposes the anti-marriage amendment proposal in California. McCain supports it.

    You appear to be simply a GOP propagandist without integrity, and so I hope everyone treats your comments accordingly.

  13. says

    If I had any sympathy for John Mccain as a candidate, It’s gone right out the window.

    Not that I had much to begin with.

    Funny, all the “pro-life/Christian” types are always trying to make sure love has no place in the definition of what makes a family.

  14. Banne says

    I’m not a GOP supporter, so why would I do that. Whether McCain personally supports the amendment or not is irrelevant really because he has said that if the people of California vote it down and allow gay marriage, he will support the state’s right to determine that. By Obama saying it is up to the state, he clearly is saying that if the people of CA voted FOR a ban, he would inherently have to support it. In practice, their positions are no different on the issue, whether their personal opinions are or not. If they both uphold the will of the state, then it doesn’t matter their personal beliefs from a logistical standpoint. I’m just sick of gay people allowing themselves to be pandered to by candidates who parse their stands on an issue like gay marriage so they essentially allow the same thing to happen but make you THINK they feel one way or the other so you vote or give them money. I think we should demand RESULTS, not words.

  15. Walker says

    Why make such a big deal about the structure of my argument. This is how I see it – I guess I should have just stated my feelings as Ryan said it, “Boo he sucks.”

    and as far as your telling me how to think and express my opinions (called fascism), “…you have to argue that they are capable.” all I HAVE to do is not vote for McCain in November.

  16. says

    McCain is miles from Obama on this, since Obama is for repealing DOMA and granting federal rights, while McCain would leave DOMA in place.

    According to what Obama has said, he’s for states deciding “how best to pursue equality for gay and lesbian couples -whether that means a domestic partnership, a civil union, or a civil marriage” — not “none of the above” — which is what McCain would support and fight for. (Earlier McCain said he supported CA voters deciding to ban gay marriage.)

    Even more importantly Obama is for equality AT THE FEDERAL LEVEL. He would repeal DOMA: “Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples, which is precisely what DOMA does.” It’s hard to argue with that statement.

  17. Banne says

    Whether there is a law that allows singles to adopt or not, it is notoriously more difficult to adopt a child if you are a single parent. And FYI, only five states expressly prohibit gay adoption. So overall, it’s allowed or not outrightly banned in most states. The point is that you can’t make the argument against gay adoption b/c of some false necessity to have parents of two genders when single parent adoption is successful.

  18. Banne says

    Walker, you’re right, I was simply pointing out how unproductive the “boo you suck” argument is in getting a damned thing done.

    Forgive me.

  19. Jimmyboyo says


    “love” ? xtiaistas?

    The bible belt has the largest number of divorces in the nation. They cant even concieve of the idea of “love” between 2 people

    Derrick from Philly

    LOL 100% true probably.

  20. Jimmyboyo says


    I wonder if Zeke is out shopping for a vodoo doll of mccain as we speak.

    This latest bit from mcshame has got to have hit too close to home for zeke.

    Zeke, Kiss your family for all of us!!!!!!!!!!!! (have you ever mentioned if you adopted or birthed?)

    EPIPHANY moment……gay familys should stage a march on mcshame campaign headquarters. Al of the USA’s gay couples with their loved children should get prime time coverage

  21. says

    Obama is a very junior senator, which makes it hard for him to propose legislation. If the words are useless, as you say, at least Obama says the RIGHT words, while McCain’s words AND actions are consistently WRONG for gay rights.

    As President Obama has pledged to use the office as a bully pulpit to, among other things, overturn DOMA. A quick internet search reveals that this position has the right wing family values people’s panties in a twist. They believe it, why don’t you?

  22. Michael Bedwell says

    Talking through your ass isn’t going to help you, Banne, which is exactly what your assuming you know what McCain’s actual feelings are, as well as asserting that NO ONE opposes gay adoptions because of homophobia amounts to. Yes, there are exceptions—even among some gays. As I recall, Andy reported months ago that one of those two Italian trailer trash “designers,” Dolce & Gabanna said she was against it. But most nongay “think of the children” arguments are just homohatred in “compassionate” clothing. Homohatred primarily out of sexism, as do the scientifically meaningless concepts of “mother role” and “father role.”

    Further, your assertion that single parent adoption is a rarity, even more that “gay adoption” is a broad brush not supported by the facts between the bristles that vary greatly in the details.

    “According to the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, 33% of children adoption from Foster Care is by a single parent (U.S. DHHS, 2000).”

    “Approximately 25 percent of the adoptions of children with special needs are by single men and women.”

    One of the problems with definitively stating what reality is vis-a-vis gay adoption is that virtually all states allow INDIVIDUALS to adopt [without specifying that they must be NONGAY individuals] but it’s not been tested in every states. In general, all but a few states allow gay INDIVIDUALS to adopt which, by definition, would also legally count as “single parent adoption.” The trickier, more restrictive variation is “joint adoption” by a gay couple. Only about 10 states and DC allow that. In several states, you can petition to adopt the child of your partner or a child of the relationship. [About half allow adoption of a partner’s child at least in some JURISDICTIONS—location, location isn’t just important in real estate]. These are usually called second-parent or stepparent adoptions. Of course, petitioning does not guarantee approval.

    Such disparities—individuals even if gay more often approved for adoption than gay couples—further reinforces the idea that homophobia is the primary factor behind such opposition.

    Though it happens less than in the past [but still too often] there is a long history of court custody/visitiation rulings demonstrating this, too. Everything from the divorcing gay parent being told by the judge that their children cannot visit them if they now have a same gender partner even if the share custody with their opposite gender ex to being denied shared custody entirely.

    McShame’s motive isn’t any more the “welfare” of the child than his opposition to even civil unions is “the sanctity of marriage.”

  23. Banne says

    Yes, I base my beliefs on what the religious nut jobs think. They also think Armageddon is going to occur in our lifetime. Should I start stocking up on my canned food and holy bibles?

    I agree he is a junior senator, but he has certainly taken zero initiative to in any way impact gay rights ona federal level as a senator. I understand he’s been very busy running for President for most of his term, but pardon me if I don’t get my hopes up yet.

    Oh and while I do think McCain is pandering to the right on gay issues, which yes, disgusts me, he did vote against the Federal Marriage Amendment…twice. I think by endorsing the idea a state has the right to define marriage, you tacitly support DOMA. So Obama can want to overturn it if he chooses, but his words indicate that he is not willing to force one state to recognize a marriage in another state either. By all means, I hope he lives up to his word and fights to have DOMA overturned. But if you think he’s not got the influence as a junior senator to get anything done in Congress, it makes me wonder why you think he’s our nominee. I’d say he’s sitting pretty damned high right now to propose as he sees fit in Congress. Of course, he won’t, because proposing to overturn DOMA now will only ignite the right against him, so he appeases you and most gays enough to say he will after he is President. We’ll see.

  24. Michael Bedwell says

    Sould have read: Homohatred primarily evolves out of sexism, as do the scientifically meaningless concepts of “mother role” and “father role.”

  25. Banne says

    MB –

    I never asserted that McCain didn’t think it was immoral, I simply said that isn’t what he is arguing. It’s much easier to point out that single parent adoption is successful so the notion he is presenting that children should only go to a man/woman relationship is wrong. We are arguing the same thing, I’m just being a lot less emotional and more rational about his argument. His motives are clear to all of us, of course, but there is a much easier way to refute his position than to say he’s being mean to gay people.

    Also, you cannot really compare statistics on single parent adoptions versus gay couple adoptions percentage wise since you have no idea how many single parents are turned away versus gay couples. Obviously there will be more single parent adoptions than gay couple adoptions since gays make up about 2% of the population and you figure a very small percentage of that 2% is actually in a relationship and looking to adopt. I’m not arguing that it is not more common than gay couple adoption, I’m simply saying it certainly is not as easy as a straight couple adoption. I was simply pointing out that according to McCain’s argument, single parents shouldn’t be allowed to adopt. It’s been shown that having two parents isn’t necessary or required, so his argument is complete BS. And I think you get more widespread support from straight people by arguing that point.

  26. Joy says

    Please people, he is speaking of his own belief, just as each person commenting on this website and in the rest of the world is. What is the big deal? I also believe their needs to be an equal and morally correct role models of a man and woman in a childs life, however if a person whom is in a same sex relationship can give a child those equal needs than more power to them. Yes, there are crappy people in the world, but you can’t look down on the entire straight or gay community for the way the choose to live or believe, as they do. If he goes back on any of his beliefs, people will call him a hipocrite. He can’t win for loosing. He could just say what people want him to say to trick you into getting him into office, as alot of democrats and other canidates have done. You have to at least respect his truthfullness on a very difficult question to answer and it is difficult! Everyone has to answer to God one day, straight and gay, religious and athiest, so what’s it to you to judge someone else for believing differently, which judging is one of the things Christ told us not to do any way. Also don’t even bring up the hipocrisy in christians or religions, etc… because an actual christian goes to Christ because they know they are not perfect, not because they think they are. If they think they are, then, pride comes before the fall anyway, so ignore them and don’t worry about it.

  27. paul says

    The more I see and hear from McCain, the more he is, unbelieveably enough, starting to come off as possibly less competant than Bush. It’s actually shocking.

  28. johnny says

    OK, so bottom line is we’ve got an old, old man who can’t use a computer, can’t communicate, doesn’t respect single parenting, doesn’t want gays to marry or adopt, didn’t hold his own marriage vows sacred, wants a hundred more years in Iraq…and has anger management problems.


    Wow, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it actually CAN.

  29. Michael Bedwell says

    While there’s merit in your suggestion of challenging the claims that single parents, whether gay or nongay, can be just a good a parent as a nongay couple, Banne, your pulling statistics out of your ass again and declaring them Truth.

    Only 2% of the population is gay? POSSIBLY true but NO ONE knows. There are NO estimates that are universally accepted …. both because of the inherent challenge in counting how many are, e.g., from reluctance of many to self-identify to the wide disparity in defining what constitutes “being gay.” Is it behavior alone? Is it attraction alone? Is it both? And how much for how long of each? What about those bisexuals who spend most of their life with one gender rather than the other?

    So the closest to honesty that anyone can come is to say that they agree with such and such study that claims the percentage is X.

  30. says

    “he [McCain] did vote against the Federal Marriage Amendment” — yes, and so did Obama.

    McCain, by the way, also voted FOR DOMA.
    And once again, by saying he will work to repeal DOMA, Obama HAS already incurred the ire of the rabid right. Anyone who thinks he will introduce controversial legislation as a candidate now as a candidate is living in a fantasy world. Will McCain introduce legislation to ban gay adoptions? I don’t think so, whatever he believes.

  31. says

    ” You have to at least respect his truthfullness on a very difficult question to answer and it is difficult! ”

    Nonsense. This question is not difficult at all. One can trust every single scholarly study, take the word of the APA and the Canadian Ministry of Justice survey of literature… or one can trust one’s own bigoted lies with no proof whatsoever. Difficult choice?

    It may be “just his personal belief,” but we don’t need anyone with such dangerous and outdated personal beliefs in the White House. In case you haven’t noticed, he’s a presumptive nominee for President. That’s why we care more about his “belief” than the rest of the morons.

  32. says

    McCain’s lack of support for gay adoption is but one more in a long list of reasons not to vote for him. Go thru all the acrobatic arguments you want (Banne) justifying his position on this and other issues important to gay people, but that doesn’t change the fact that Obama is essentially a pro-gay candidate and McCain is essentially not. To pretend otherwise at this point is willful ignorance and denial. Fortunately, all but the deluded few who seem not to mind jumping in bed with the right wing, see McCain for what he is: anti-gay and hopelessly out of touch with the reality of our lives.

  33. David R. says

    Every SERIOUS study of childrearing by different family types shows that kids with two parents typically do better than kids with one parent. Turns out, it DOESN’T MATTER whether those two parents are of the same sex or the opposite sex. And since kids are not raised in a nuclear family vacuum, they will always have access to role models of the other sex than their parents (e.g., my son has lots of women in his life).

    Both the American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics supports equal adoption and marriage rights for gays and lesbians.

  34. says

    I don’t need some sleazebag who couldn’t keep his cock outta SkeleCindy while still married to his first wife to tell me or my friends how to live our lives.

    He’s a Senator from my state and and can you say USELESS. He does nothing for the state of Arizona.

  35. says

    I don’t need some sleazebag who couldn’t keep his cock outta SkeleCindy while still married to his first wife to tell me or my friends how to live our lives.

    He’s a Senator from my state and and can you say USELESS. He does nothing for the state of Arizona.

  36. Banne says

    Ernie, I was never justifying his position. In fact, I said several times he is wrong. I merely countered his argument based on the evidence he cited, which was in regards to two genders raising a child instead of one. I never supported his argument, argued for it myself or said he was in any way correct. I merely pointed out that he is wrong reason other than “he sucks.” Please READ comments before blabbering off saying I have said something I have not.

    MB – actually most gay organizations I have read estimate it at 2%. You’re right, one can never know how many there are, however there are mathematical estimates that are made and fairly accepted. Even if it’s 5% or 10%, I don’t see how that invalidates the point that your comparison was illogical.

  37. says

    Ok, Banne, let’s call it spin instead of justification. Saying “I don’t believe in gay adoption” is unambiguously anti-gay, however McCain or anyone else might try to dress it up. It’s amusing to be accused of blabbering when your comments are so full of misinformation others have already called you on, and I never said that McCain “sucks,” but that’s beside the point.

    The fact remains that McCain’s views on gay issues, including gay unions and gay adoption, are FAR to the right of Obama’s. It’s not simply a parsing of words. Their on-the-record positions are substantially different, and these differences will substantially matter once one of them becomes President. How is that not obvious? I’m still waiting for anyone to give ONE positive reason to vote for McCain instead of Obama on gay issues . . .

  38. Bossman Pitbull says

    McCain is a man with adultery and bigamy in his past. He has no room to speak about “traditional” marriage — or any morals, for that matter.

  39. Bossman Pitbull says

    McCain is a man with adultery and bigamy in his past. He has no room to speak about “traditional” marriage — or any morals, for that matter.

  40. Jimmyboyo says


    Teh latest polls from your state show that mccain isn’t a sure thing. Only leading by 5% in his home state. Mccain is having to go to AZ to campaign because it would be the height of embaresment to loose his home state.


    keep up the good work in AZ you libs, make mccain a least waste a lot of money there if not out right loose AZ

  41. Banne says

    I’m not going to give you a good reason to vote for McCain over Obama on gay issues. I never claimed that. I was never defending McCain. And yes, his comments are anti-gay (no illusions on that), but he is not defending them using anti gay bigoted rhetoric, he’s trying to claim something that just simply isn’t true and is easily refutable. That is all I was saying. Why can’t you simply point out the failure of him to use logic in his argument? It’s very simply to just say he’s wrong b/c single people adopt children and those children are well adjusted and healthy. His argument was that a child needs a traditional family with a mom and dad. That simply is not true. As a child of a single parent, it bugs me when people try to make that argument to excuse what is clearly their bigoted beliefs. Arguing on that point, you make him less attractive to a lot more people than just gay people.

    End of story. And nothing I have states is untrue. Statistically speaking it doesn’t make sense to use the percentages that MB was using. You would have to show rejection percentages for it to make any sense.

    And most modern scientific studies show that there are 2 – 6% of the population that self identifies as gay. And let’s face it, those are the people we are talking about here. The 10% numbers that so many gay organizations used for years have been shown to be scientifically erroneous.

    Please stop assuming that I am defending McCain. I’m simply pointing out a simply and easy way to tell him he’s wrong without making this an us v. them situation that inevitably polarizes people. He’s simply wrong because all science and evidence shows that single parents (adopted or otherwise) raise perfectly healthy and well adjusted children and so a male and female parental unit is not necessary as McCain claims.

    God, you people are so quick to jump on anyone who simply tries to make a rational argument…it is no wonder we find ourselves pandered to so easily.

  42. Michael Bedwell says

    Points for the stubborness of your sciolism, Banne.

    “actually most gay organizations I have read estimate it at 2%.”??? Which ones? Where?

    “there are mathematical estimates that are made and fairly accepted”???? Well, you’re half right. Estimates are made but, AGAIN, it’s wrong to suggest they’re even “fairly accepted.” By whom? AGAIN, what’s the definition of “gay” in these alleged fairly accepted estimates? At one extreme are gays dishonestly inflate numbers for political reasons [“A million people attended San Francisco’s Pride Parade!” SURE they did, Mary.] At the other end are homohaters who dishonestly minimize the numbers for political reasons. And in the middle are people of all kinds trying to be objective but handicapped by the same kind of definitional and self-reporting restraints I discussed above.

    After reading such “studies” for decades, after having worked with the “Kinsey Institute,” there’s only one answer I trust to the question, “How many gays are there?”

    Not enough!

  43. Philip says

    The arguments used to defend McCain are getting ridiculous.

    “Well, Obama hasn’t really done much to help gays, either.” – Umm… yah. At least he doesn’t expressively state he’ll work AGAINST us.

  44. says

    You guys why is that anyone who has a different point of view from the party line is called names and accused of being “A REPUBLICAN!”If someone here makes a point you don’t like just state your counterargument. I’m not voting for Mccain but I think Obama if a flawed candidate and I have the right to feel that way. The stuff said to the people who made comments on this subject pointing out legitimate concerns is just not right. Dudes, it’s America. Chill out on that shit. I’m a total dem but have been regularly accused of being a “Repug troll”. What the fuck is that exactly? Is that a wrinkled pimply little man who lives under the bridge at a golf course? Someone over 30 who lives in palm Springs and likes twinks? What? Jeez, disagree without the invectives. At the end of the day we all put dicks in our mouths. Can’t we all just get along?

  45. Banne says

    The only people we care about in this issue are those who SELF-IDENTIFY. That number in any study done in the last 30 years is no more than 6% unless you can show me one other than the Kinsey findings at 10%. Which, by the way, Kinsey only reported 4% of males who identified as homosexual only and only 1% in females.

    Oh and in terms of organizations:

    From the 2000 Census, HRC concluded 5% were gay however the census’ numbers were lower. HRC worked on the assumption that the census underreported the number of gays and lesbians. Extrapolate from that the number of actual gay couples and again, the numbers we are talking about are fairly tiny compared to straight couple and single parent adoptions.

    Only openly gay couples who SELF-IDENTIFY as gay would be banned from adopting children as same sex couples, so that is who we are talking about here. It was the discussion we were having. It does not change any point I have made above nor does it show how your statistics on 33% of adoptions being from single parents means anything in terms of comparing rejection rates to those of gay couples. Considering only five states even explicitly ban gay couples from adopting, I doubt the issue is as pervasive as you’d suggest it is.

    Just because someone claims they blew a guy 8 years ago doesn’t make them gay and certainly doesn’t factor into any discussion we are having here regarding gay couples adopting.

  46. Rich says

    As someone who is an adoption worker, is married (to a man) and adopted a teenager, McCain has offended me in so many ways!

    First of all, his statement is that “both parents” are needed. The gall! My husband and I ARE both parents. We just aren’t a “mommy and daddy.” But guess what… we feed my son, keep him in clothes, put him on the school bus with a nutritious lunch, fight with him over bed time and curfew, play video games with him – all the things hetero parents do. Just because neither of us breast-fed him doesn’t mean we are not both his parents! Fuck you, McCain!

    If his argument is that two parents are needed as opposed to just one, that has been proven wrong time and time again. I will not quote statistical sources here – google it if you don’t believe me. ANY non-abusive, non-neglectful parent willing to make a forever commitment to a child is better than none! The statistics show that children who age out of foster care without forever parents are several times more likely to go to jail (multiple times), end up homeless, unintentionally get pregnant (multiple times), and have trouble forming meaningful relationships for the rest of their lives.

    I am not looking for kudos, I am only saying this to make my point: if we, a male couple, had not adopted our son (one month before his seventeenth birthday), he would be on the street (like one of the kids he was in a foster home with), in jail (ditto), in a family way (like his sister, who aged out of care and has a baby by a man twice her age), in a mental hospital (where he spent a bit of time with our support and a home to return to), or… worse. Instead, three weeks ago he gave a a rousing speech at his high school graduation that brought the crowd to its feet.

    Now tell me my son is not better off.

    McCain is an unmitigated asshole.

  47. says

    Rich, You may not be looking for kudos but, KUDOS TO YOU!

    I feel so bad for the 18yr olds who get thrown out on their 18th birthday. I stayed at my moms because I wasn’t ready for the world till I was 22. Thank god for my parents!

    Because of the need and people like you I have ditched everything and am enrolled in school to become a family therapist specializing in “non-traditional” families.

    Does anyone know of any good sites/blogs about gay adoption? Is there a way through Towleroad (home of the smartest Homos on the net) to contact each other? I would love to here from Gay families to help in my schoolwork.

  48. says

    I came across your website again and my wife and I love it! We can’t get over the final debate and McCain’s stance on abortion and adoption. He adopted outside of the country (easier, cheaper) and his running mate can’t even convince her daughter to committe to abstinence. I have friends adopted by gay parents, adopted friends, gay friends and family members… we hope Obama wins… cause the GOP gives us a lot to laugh about… we just don’t want them in office again. Hope Obama pulls through on Civil Unions.

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