Android Marriage, Gay Pirates And Other Ways To Poke Fun At Anti-Gay Activists

Or then there’s a letter from Virginia Republican official Eugene Delgaudio, the man who claimed gay TSA agents would grope male passengers, in which he warns of a gay “invasion” at the Gasparilla Pirate Fest in Tampa, Florida:

Word is that Radical Homosexuals have infiltrated as event organizers to promote homosexual events that are designed to prey upon unsuspecting college students by enticing them to join their “krewes” and help build parade floats in exchange for free alcohol.

When the young men are sufficiently intoxicated, homosexuals dressed as pirates whisk them away to God knows where to take advantage of them sexually.

And these are only two of the more recent ridiculous arguments against LGBT people.

We have in the past been called demons, Bolivian president Evo Morales once said chicken consumption causes homosexuality, and one right winger named Herb Grossman claims something called “false evolution” played a “supernatural” trick on humanity by casting the gays into the world.

It’s all absurd, of course, and guarantees a great laugh. But these assertions also provide us with plenty of material for counter-attacks.

I’ve argued before that ridicule and satire can be effective routes to taking down an ideological nemesis. As British Think Tank Demos noted in their study, A Radical Approach to Extremism, “Satire has long been recognized as a powerful tool to undermine the popularity of social movements: both the Ku Klux Klan and the British Fascist party in the 1930s were seriously harmed by sustained satire.”

While surely we must continue our legislative and social actions, a little comedy never hurt anyone, and taking some light-hearted pokes at our opponents could may just help laugh them out of town.

To help get the ball rolling, here’s video of Broadus’ Android speech, via Good As You:



  1. james says

    One should get one’s facts right about fictional television characters before one uses them to support one’s arguments.

    I own all episodes of Star Trek: Next Generation. I’ve watched them many times. I do not recall a single instance, not a single instance in which Commander Data shed a tear. If Mr. Broadus can be wrong about that, he can be wrong about so many other things too. Yes, I know the impression this leaves about me.

  2. Rowan says

    Good article. Couldn’t agree more. We need to get off our asses and start ripping them with humour to shreds. The comic con drress up against the Wesboro Church was a good start!

    Gay groups take themselves either so seriously and stiffly or are just aggressively agenda obsessed like Get Equal.

  3. TampaZeke says

    This is the kind of argument one must rely upon when he/she doesn’t have a valid, reasonable and/or sane argument to make.

    The longer this debate goes on, the more insane the arguments will be.

  4. Andrew Belonsky says

    I wasn’t sure about Data crying, either. A quick google image search of “Star Trek Data Crying” yielded a pic of him holding a cat, and now I vaguely remember him growing attached to a sick kitty, or something like that. A little hazy on the details…

  5. Richard says

    OK, well if he knew ANYTHING about tv and film, he’d already have known that they have allowed android marriage… and what’s worse, an android married a HUMAN! Shock horror! I won’t ever watch Bicentennial Man the same way again!

    btw, Data owned a cat aboard the Enterprise called Spot, and he did indeed shed a tear in Generations, when he found Spot amongst the wreckage of the ship at the end of the film.

  6. Joe says

    Sorry to be a pedant, but Data DID cry. However it was in one of the films and not the TV series.

    In “Star Trek: Generations”; Data cried when he found his cat, Spot, in the wreckage of Enterprise-D.

    That said, this Broadus man is still an idiot and so is anyone else who has to rely on Sci-Fi and/or pseudo-science as “proof” of their “argument”.

  7. Sargon Bighorn says

    This idea of Humans marrying robots predates Star Trek by about 20 years. I recall from my ancient history class (ahem) that there was a Twilight Zone or Out Limits episode (I slept through half the class so I don’t remember which) that address a future of robots so like humans that they were able to have sex and pro create (as God intended).

  8. David says

    I for one support all forms of Android marriage. It’s not a bad idea to make nice with our future robot overlords now!
    And you can’t blame the pirates because I am pretty sure that pirate code demands that they look for booty…erm…I mean they must follow the treasure trail.

  9. Nanny McBone says

    Asimov’s little known “fourth” Law of Robotics: A robot can’t marry a human, was retroactively re-inserted into the novel I, Robot today after stupidity broke out at a hearing in Maryland today.

  10. says

    But will Eugene Delgaudo have to step in before all the robots get intoxicated and the homo pirates try to take advantage? Will he have the fortitude to stop this march down the Tampa treasure trail in search of booty? Do robots have treasure trails? And, if so, can I get an Alex Pettyfer model sent right over?

  11. BobN says

    “whether or not people can marry their Androids”

    The man is obviously clueless. In the future the question will be whether or not Androids can marry their people.

  12. Wren says

    Steve, I agree with you. He is right. AI will someday reach that level, at which point they should be given civil liberties and should be allowed marriages. But that is beside the point. We still deserve them now.

  13. Skooter McGoo says

    Didn’t Data have sex with the female Lt. Tasha Yar? He was equipped and versed in all forms of sexual first contact. Wonder what kind of lube a android uses? I’m guessing WD-40 would be out of the question since it’s oil based and would cause the condom to break. So does this mean that all those str8 guys that like to have sex with blow up dolls could marry them since they can’t find real women to do it with?

  14. Matt S says

    If this guy ever watched Star Trek, he’d know that Data is in many ways the best husband a person could ask for. He is a good man; he just happens to be an android.

    How would Broadus feel about marrying an alien? I mean really, how short-sighted he must be. It was people like him, only white, who came upon Africans and said, it’s ok to enslave them, they aren’t people like us.

  15. Matt S says

    BTW Broadus, the reproductive implications of speciation is NOT the reason people aren’t allowed to intermarry with non-humans. The reason is because an animal cannot consent to either marriage or sex with a human. It isn’t possible. It’s the same reason you can’t marry a baby or a person in a coma or a vegetative state.

  16. Tim says

    Sorry dude .. the BIBLE is a book of FAITH, not FACT. When you cheery pick it to oppress others that are different than you, you do it a disservice. Not to mention that the Bible was used to oppress YOU and your brethren during the days of Slavery !! maybe we need to go back to that time ???? What would you say about THAT?

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