In The ‘Times': A Fantastic Father’s Day Editorial

Jeff&PaulHello, and happy weekend! Please begin it with this editorial from the New York Times, penned by Dominick Zarrillo.

You probably don't know Dominick, but you certainly know his son, Jeff. He and his partner, Paul Katami, are two of the plaintiffs in Perry vs. Brown, the case that brought down Proposition 8. Jeff and Paul are pretty private people, and Dominick is even moreso. Glad he's not being private this Father's Day weekend. In rather less than 2,000 words, Dominick shares considerable sums of wisdom vis a vis fatherhood, family-making, bullying, Americanness, fighting, and not fighting, and he does it beautifully. No joke, he made me cry a little. The Times usually doesn't do that.

Read it!


  1. says

    Thanks for posting that, Brandon. Because the article is buried in the Fashion & Style section (??) I probably wouldn’t have found it on my own.

  2. gleeindc says

    Thank you for sharing this, I missed it in my morning read and was glad to have it called to my attention.

  3. says

    Thanks for the article;
    And yes, tears, …..
    Yet we all have a bloody minded resolve that we shall keep on demanding , not asking , our rights and truths which are self evident.

    No more walking the long way home; the voice of this father and his brave son and partner must go loud and clear to the little fat bigot Scalia and the oafs Alito, with his smug head shaking, and Roberts, with his own concealed agenda of right wing prejudice, that we will not accept inequality in any guise……neither civil nor biblical.

  4. jim says

    Here’s where the eyes welled up:

    “Finally, he sat us down and said he had something to tell us. We told him that we already knew, and that we really liked Paul, and that we were happy for him….and after that it was Jeff and Paul, Paul and Jeff. We visited them; they visited us. We took vacations together.”

    This guy is Father of the Year in my book.

  5. says

    Wow. How moving is that? I try and let my dad know I love him every day. I lost my mom when I was eleven. I have six older siblings, five brothers and a sister. When they met my husband they loved him, today I think more than me, but when our son was born he became the nephew they love over all others. So far Steven has been the last grandchild (out of 7) and Grandpa spoils the hell out of him. My dad’s a pro boat builder and a fantastic landscaper. We were never allowed to ‘tear up’ the yard but on Steven’s third birthday my Dad threw him a family party. His gift was a transformed back yard into a play land of swings, slides, round-a-bouts, sand boxes, monkey bars – the whole enchilada.

    My dad loves all his kids but I think he loves me most. I’m his last child and all he has ever wanted for me was to be happy. When I was single he worried that I would always be alone and never know the joy of love and children. My happiness makes him happy and that’s the best Father’s Day present I can give him – that and his favorite Sunday dinner.

  6. Joseph says

    That was magnificent. I miss my dad. I’m so grateful that the last thing I said to him before he died was “I love you.” And he told me the same thing.

  7. says

    Dammit! It is too early in the day to fight back the tears. How can someone hate love? I just don’t understand it, but hating love is what those who deny us our rights are doing.

  8. redball says

    this was so well-written. dominick is LIGHT YEARS ahead of my father and fathers of many of my gay friends.

    KUDOS to dominick for living such a full, happy life WITH HIS GAY SON instead of wasting his life & energy fighting the truth of who his son is!!!

  9. Bingo says

    Each week the Times Style section carries a personal essay on the general topic of modern relationships. The essay isn’t buried there. It’s exactly where it belongs.

    It is not, of course, an editorial, Brandon.

  10. Zlick says

    When I read this on facebook yesterday, I teared up at the part where Jeff’s dad notices it’s now Paul who takes over finishing Jeff’s meals. So sweet! I had the honor of meeting these guys once (not the cool dad) and they are such terrific fellas that any dad would be proud of … even were it not for their amazing efforts on behalf of equality and human dignity.

  11. Twenty13 says

    Gender bending always makes me cry. Is is better to accept, or be forced to accept? I’ll choose ignore.

  12. JP says

    Dominick is such a lovely dad. Jeff is one lucky man to have a great father like that. I am quite envious of Jeff as I don’t think my dad would ever talk to me again if I come out. However, I do wish that all dads around the world would accept their gay children for who they are. Dominick deserves Dad Of The Year award!