05/04/2005
The Friendship That Never Went Away
From our Los Angeles correspondent Phildog comes this photo and the sad news that The Friendship, a gay bar in Santa Monica adjacent to Will Rogers (or Ginger Rogers as it's fondly known to the gay men that frequent it) Beach has been sold and will no longer be around as it is today and has been for over 60 years.
Why get nostalgic for The Friendship? I always knew it as a little, seedy beach bar hole in the wall, a bare cement space adorned with a few cheesy tropical decorations, a jukebox, and a pool table. It has a back patio surrounded by a ten foot wall with peepholes in it where you can look out on a cement, duck-populated drainage canal that dumps straight into the Pacific Ocean. Nothing scenic about that. It bears the indelible smell of stale beer, sand, and male body odor.
It's one of the few gay places in L.A. that doesn't spill over with attitude. It remains unpolished. You can sit and have a beer and watch a game of pool. And The Friendship has remained virtually the same since 1937 when it opened and was reportedly served one of the first liquor licenses in Los Angeles.
At that time, according to this article from IN Los Angeles published a few years ago, word of mouth brought gays to this scenic canyon enclave by the beach where The Friendship now stands. West Hollywood and its strip of bars and clubs was nonexistent. Will Rogers Beach has been a gay beach since the 1940's and The Friendship provided an after-beach retreat, or an after dinner hangout for those frequenting the nearby canyon restaurants.
The writer Christopher Isherwood and the painter Don Bachardy had a house in the canyons above The Friendship and frequented the bar during their relationship. IN reports that The Friendship even made it into one of Isherwood's novels called A Single Man
"You pushed aside the blackout curtain and elbowed your way through a jam-packed bar crowd, scarely able to breathe or see for smoke. Here, in the complete privacy of the din and the crowd, you and your pickup yelled preliminary sex advances at each other. You could flirt, but you couldn't fight; there wasn't even room to smack someone's face. For that, you had to step outside. Oh the bloody battles and the sidewalk vomiting. The punches flying wide, the heads crashing backwards against the fenders of parked cars. Huge diesel-dykes slugging it out, far grimmer than the men...hitch-hiking servicemen delayed at this corner for hours, nights, days; proceeding at last on their journey with black eyes, crab-lice, clap, and only the dimmest memory of their hostess or host."
While The Friendship was never this crazy when I visited it during my years in L.A. I can't deny that I saw some sidewalk vomiting or heard some preliminary sex advances!
In any case, I have had my share of after-beach beers at The Friendship and am sad to see it go. Its name is apt. A place for good friends and strangers — and as for the strangers, well, the more they drank, the friendlier they became.
Related
End of an Era in Times Square [tr]
Posted 9:44 AM EST by Andy Towle in Los Angeles | Permalink
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Sad. If ever there was an institution of sorts, the Friendship was it. Those lazy summer days at Will Rodgers Beach inevitably lead to a stop at the Friendship. Sunburned, salt smelling and more than a little horny, everyone sought their own water level of fun. During the week, the place was fairly quiet, and though it was not well known, they had an upstairs room where one could play darts. One drunken night, me and a few friends engaged in Strip Darts, which ended up with three of us being butt naked. No one cared, it was fun, and the moon was lingering over the Pacific.
Early gay bars are like first lovers, they persist in memory. When they're gone, they leave some impression that neither time or memory can erase. They had some meaning if only because they were there in the beginning, welcoming, providing a world, a safe haven, a place where you could be yourself. Though the Friendship was not one of my first bars, I recall early in my life, meeting someone there, going home with them, and to this day, the taste of salt of the skin, the heat of sunburned skin, the curious Murphy bed, and the visual excitment of speedos falling off, still lingers.
Posted by: Rex | May 4, 2005 12:59:23 PM
Say it ain't so, Dan!
I lived in Rustic Canyon (around the corner from the Friendship) and ran my business from the old brick hotel at PCH and Chatauqua. Smokey, the 'ship and the Golden Bull were oases in the rapidly gentrifying Santa Monica/Pac Palisades. Average, normal, natural homos were in abundance with the rare plucked and roided WeHo visitor. You got it right - no tude and friendly folks. Reminded me of P'town in the off-season with better weather.
Thanks for towleroad, Dan. I believe our paths crossed in Ptown at the Anchor Inn or PBG before I moved to Memphis. Best regards and farewell to Smokey, Don, Amber and the crew till we meet again. H
Posted by: Hillsman Wright | May 4, 2005 1:05:09 PM
thanks Hillsman, but my name is Andy :-)
Posted by: andy | May 4, 2005 1:40:17 PM
Didn't John Rechy describe the place in City of Night also?
Posted by: Nick | May 4, 2005 1:43:02 PM
Oh. My. Gawd.
I...
I... don't know what to say..
I'm shocked and saddened.
That place was/is SUCH an institution...
I've GOT to be there for their last call!
Posted by: jason | May 4, 2005 3:51:45 PM
I believe last call was Saturday night.
Apparently the rent doubled... I say the gays take over Marix Playa now!
Posted by: boifromtroy | May 4, 2005 3:57:32 PM
The first time I set foot inside The Friendship was during my freshman year of college at Pepperdine. I was on a pledge scavenger hunt for my fraternity and we had to come back with a souvenir that proved we had been there. Later that night the pledges had to line up at Leo Carillo beach at 3am, strip down to our tighty-whities and cover each other in baby oil. We then had to roll around in the sand and do a dance called the “corn dog” (not nearly as much fun as the first part). I always smiled and laughed when I passed The Friendship and remembered that night.
Posted by: stephen | May 4, 2005 5:35:39 PM
The Friendship- I lived and grew up in Rustic Canyon. I would have to pass The Friendship on my way to the beach everyday of summer vacation while growing up. It was a place that frightend me, and at the same time excited me. I would try to peek in as an kid to see if I could see anything. It was a mystery to me until I went in finally after I had graduated from college and was visting home. I was so thrilled to finally be inside. What did I find, but a really cool bar with no attitude. I had a beer, laughed with my friends about my fears. You think that somethings will never change. But they always do. I am saddend that this wonderful un-LA place is no longer around. It was the place that I put two and two together - that I was a gay man.
Posted by: jamie | May 4, 2005 6:31:41 PM
The Friendship appears to have been sold to a company partly owned by Mark Verge--who is also owner of Caseys Bar & Grill on Grand Ave and Westside Rentals. It'll be renamed Hideout.
Posted by: Mark | May 4, 2005 7:25:30 PM
is this place still gonna be gay?
Posted by: joe | Jun 8, 2005 3:11:45 PM
It's funny but just skimming over that page when I saw 'The frienship that never goes away' and the picture of Clooney and Brad I thought it seemed apropos.
Posted by: GeeGee | Nov 3, 2005 5:50:04 PM
I first went into the friendship in 2003 and met bobby the bartender. Im very sad this place has gone and been replaced by a new gay bar which wasnt necessary. Bye Bobby where ever you matey
Posted by: Rob Grace | Jan 24, 2006 4:21:18 PM
As a former bartender at the Friendship (1970) it saddens me that I can no longer count on visiting there in the future.
Posted by: Stan Burgett | Mar 24, 2006 8:37:28 PM