John McCain: Gays are Welcome to Marry, Just Not Legally

McCain on Hardball with Chris Matthews:

“I think gay marriage should be allowed if there’s a ceremony kind of thing if you want to call it that. I don’t have any problem with that…”

Before your jaw drops too far, McCain went on to say “I think private ceremonies are fine. I do not think gay marriage should be legal.”

And blacks can sit in the front of the bus, just as long as it’s the back and they’re pretending it’s the front.


  1. wtf says

    “Gay marriage should be allowed if there’s a ceremony kind of thing if you want to call it that.” I don’t even know what to say to this kind of backhanded support. Except to say:

    John McCain can go fuck himself!

  2. David says

    It’s not backhanded support at all. It’s basically saying we can play wedding like kids do, but just like when kids do it, it doesn’t mean anything.

    He’s saying that we should be allowed to live — gee thanks, John.

  3. Anon says

    He always struck me as a bit too angry. He always acts morally superior and that he knows what’s best for everyone. This is really a state issue, so presidential candidates, particularly Republicans, should say that its up to Mass and Wy to figure this out locally. The proper question to ask him is if he would attend the gay wedding of a friend or relative.

  4. Michael W. says

    Well, the way I choose to look at is like this: John McCain and other old farts like him are not the future of our country. They represent a dying breed–sure, they’re procreating and raising bigots of their own, but our country is always diversifying and I should think that one day, people will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.

  5. Wayne says

    I just hope they’re all alive to see the day when our constitution means, once again, freedom for everyone, not just those that the governement in power deems should have said freedoms. Yes, someday this will be a non-issue, as it should be.

  6. 24play says

    As 2008 nears, McCain wants to have it both ways on everything.

    “Hey, America, look at me! I’ve oulawed torture in my new bill (and given the president free reign to torture anybody any way anytime).”

  7. Larry says

    Unfortunately, there’s a very good chance this old fart may be president in 2008.

    All of the debate surrounding gay marriage and gay adoption exhausts me. It’s not like all heterosexual marriages are idyllic, perfect relationships–I mean, look at how many right-wingers have been divorced or cheated on their wives! (Some with men, as we know…) In one Maryland county yesterday, sheriffs rounded up 175 people with outstanding domestic violence warrants. But THEY should be allowed to get married, while gay marriage is a threat to the “sanctity of marriage.”

    And I still cannot believe the argument can be made that it’s better for children to be abused, killed or rot in the foster care system than be adopted by gay people.

  8. dc-20008 says

    So gays can’t marry even once (per the Feds) but straights can marry and divorce over and over and over, because it supports family values. WTF?!?!?!?!

    Perhaps Mr. McCain will call for an Amendment that will ban divorce?

  9. Mitch says

    Interesting Andy…the minority you cite as a comparison tend to vehemently disagree with the analogy and tend to hold a far more extreme view than the Senator does.

    This argument doesn’t resonate with the average American and it certainly doesn’t resonate with blacks. Maybe we should try a different argument.

  10. stevo says

    What a disappointment he has become. He seems to have totally sold his soul to become president. I remember when he used to be interesting.

  11. nut case says

    McCain also said yesterday that if the Democrats take control of Congress in the elections that he wants to commit suicide. He added that he didn’t want to face that eventuality because he didn’t think it was going to happen. If it’s an eventuality, doesn’t that mean it is going to happen? What the fuck?

  12. rob adams says

    Fear not.
    McCain is a walking emotional-volcano.

    Do you really think Hillary Clinton couldn’t/wouldn’t push a few of his best-buttons come a debate?

  13. says

    You know what this reminds me of?

    Back in the days of slavery, slaves were able to have “marriages” – but they weren’t santified, legalized or recognized in anything other than them getting along. It certainly didn’t stop “owners” from selling and splitting the couples apart at their own discretion.

    I’m with the late Mr. and Mrs. King, discrimition anywhere is a threat to discrimination everywhere.

  14. Pompeius says

    Is there a presidential hopeful out there, Republican or Democrat, who has actually answered the question “Why sure! I think gay marriage is just peachy!”?

    The depressing reality of the situation is, McCain saying private ceremonies are OK by him, well, this actually makes him a relative moderate on the issue, amongst the candidates of BOTH parties.

    When one major candidate out there actually comes out in favor of legalizing marriage…now THAT will be a newsworthy post.

  15. dc-20008 says

    Yeah, Not heard Al, John Edwards, or Hillary come out for us either.

    McCain was tarred by the Bush folks in 2000. They ran TV ads in South Carolina saying he had black children. How quickly he is willing to sell his soul…

  16. MALCOLM says

    “we hold these truths to be self eveident, that all men are created equal”.

    Have we not been disabused of the notion that many in this country, and particularly right pandering Republican “conservatives” have moved away from the guarantees in the Constitution of the United States?

  17. says

    In the wake of all of the recent sex scandals in the past couple
    >of years in Washington and elsewhere in the news that often get lost when
    >the scandals involve politicians. I believe that the “closet” needs to be
    >mentioned and understood. I believe it will provide the necessary context
    >from which to view some of these scandals. The closet, meaning where
    >people hide their sexual orientation, whether one is a man or woman but
    >particularly I am speaking of men at this time because I believe men use
    >the closet even more often than woman because of societies very narrow view
    >and expectations of what behaviors are considered appropriate for men.
    >Woman can be Tomboys much easier than men can be sissies. Of course not
    >all gay men are effeminate by a long shot but that is a stereotypical image
    >of gay men and therefore many men attempt to cover up any behaviors they
    >may have and believe may bring on suspicion. Therefore men, whether they be
    >gay or straight, will practice stereotypical masculine behaviors to thwart
    >any suspicion often out of fear and necessity, particularly if they feel
    >pressure to do so to protect their careers or career advancement. However,
    >many gay men for a variety of reasons whether they have difficulties
    >reconciling their religious views with their natural inner feelings and
    >same sex attractions or also may do so out of fear of social denunciation.
    >These men will then join the astounding numbers of men that are also hiding
    >in the closet.
    > The fear of being discovered can be enormous and absolutely
    >terrifying. These men will often then do what they believe society expects
    >from them. They will often marry and have children perhaps out of
    >desperation in an always unsuccessful attempt at trying to make these
    >natural longings go away and try and hide these powerful feelings of
    >attraction that we all know very well and have experienced ourselves
    >whether toward the same sex or the opposite sex, its all the same. They
    >may also marry and have homosexual secret liaisons with men and feel
    >terrible guilt in doing so. They will do their very best to
    >compartmentalize their lives the best that they can, but I believe and have
    >found that the longer one stays in the closet the more damage is done to
    >them emotionally. It is very difficult to compartmentalize for a long
    >period of time these very powerful feelings without developing some
    >emotional problems to varying degrees. Also many develop coping mechanisms
    >such as addictive behaviors of all sorts whether they be alcoholism,
    >prescription or non prescription abuse. They may develop addictions to
    >pornography sexual addiction or other self-destructive ways of acting out.
    >Once again unfortunately the longer one stays in the closet there will also
    >then be more victims because of their closeted lifestyle choice. The
    >victims may be their wives and children, their friends, parents and
    >siblings, all feeling like they have been betrayed if their true nature is
    >discovered as it was for ex-governor of New Jersey, Mr. McGreevy. I feel
    >very sad for the victims as well as I very much understand the sadness and
    >despair he and many others feel once the closet door is flung open. For
    >some, the shame is just too unbearable and suicide seems like the only
    >alternative to ending their pain and shame.
    > Society needs to take some responsibility with this matter of the
    >closet by being more accepting of alternative lifestyles. Without the
    >closet just think of how much less pain many people and families would have
    >to endure. Not only the ones that feel that living in the closet is their
    >only alternative but for the victims that find themselves feeling betrayed
    >and the breaking up of families. We as a culture have some soul searching
    >to do on this matter and not be so self-involved and self-righteous. There
    >are a variety of ways of loving and living. We need to accept that what
    >seems to be normal for some is not necessarily normal for all. With what I
    >have just said in no way excuses adult men from making wrong choices that
    >victimize others such as the irresponsible behaviors demonstrated by the
    >now ex-congressmen Foley. I’m not even going to go so far as to say his
    >closet behaviors are the reason for his conduct. I don’t know. I don’t know
    >him. However, as I said the closet can cause deep and very troubling
    >emotional problems that can manifest in abhorrent behaviors. This may or
    >may not be the cause of his behaviors. However one thing I do know is that
    >he does know what’s right and wrong and as he surely knew, his attractions
    >to under aged teens is not only illegal but inappropriate an attraction and
    >should have sought therapy before creating victims. However, because there
    >is still so much shame yet in this day and age and our rather hypocritical
    >puritanical society, cause many gays to not seek help concerning issues
    >they may be struggling with from the appropriate professionals. I generally
    >do not recommend clergy because it can cause further damage do to their
    >religious agendas which can deepen one’s shame and depression. The is a
    >very complicated issue that society has to become more compassionate about
    >or we will continue to shame gays enough and inhibit their comfort level
    >preventing them from seeking the appropriate help for any specific personal
    >issues in which they may be struggling with.
    > One can read more about this issue and many other disturbing issues
    >involving gay culture of today in my new book; “why gay men do what they
    >do”, an inside look at gay culture.

  18. Glenn says

    I wish that people, including a lot of so-called “responsible” liberals, would see McCain for what he is. He’s your standard-issue conservative, not a “moderate”, and certainly not a fucking “maverick.” Yes, he’ll make a fine show of talking against the GOP right-wing party line occasionally, but when push comes to shove, he won’t actually work against them. Our delightful new torture/indefinite detention bill being a perfect case in point. In other words, despite his reputation as a bold, brave, macho guy, he’s actually a lying coward. He would be a terrible President, only looking good in comparison to the disaster we currently have.

  19. Marco says

    As noted by others, just another in a long string of politicans covering themselves in bland to appeal to each and every possible voter – even the douchebags who’d prefer gays never existed.

  20. SGR says

    Posted by: Mitch | Oct 19, 2006 12:17:12 PM
    “Interesting Andy…the minority you cite as a comparison tend to vehemently disagree with the analogy and tend to hold a far more extreme view than the Senator does.This argument doesn’t resonate with the average American and it certainly doesn’t resonate with blacks. Maybe we should try a different argument.”

    Mitch, stop telling us what blacks in general think about gays. You have no idea. The idea that blacks are somehow MORE homophobic than whites is garbage spewed by racist asshats who want to put blacks down. Go march for gay rights in Elmira or some backwards all white town and see how well you fare. And internationally, feel free to break out in the Moscow, Russia march and look forword to getting your head split open. Blacks have no special lock on homophobia, despite what you either wish and fear.

    Now, for every WHITE (that’s for Mitch’s benefit) politician like McCaine (whose views no doubt resonate with his mostly WHITE constituents), why there’s the very BLACK Deval Patrick (whose views are in line with Al Sharpton, Coretta Scott King, and many other blacks):

    BOSTON (Reuters) – Deval Patrick, widely expected to become Massachusetts’ first black governor, says a nearly century-old law used to stop gays from elsewhere in America from marrying in the liberal state is rooted in racism.

    If the Democrat wins on November 7, he would not only be the second African-American elected governor in the nation but he could also pave the way for gay couples from Alaska to Maine to marry in the only U.S. state where gays can legally wed.

    Under Patrick, conservative Christians warn, Massachusetts will become the Las Vegas of gay marriage.

    Patrick, comfortably leading in polls, has sharply criticized a 1913 law invoked by Massachusetts Republican Gov. and presidential hopeful Mitt Romney — and upheld by the state’s highest court in March — that bars out-of-state gay couples from marrying in Massachusetts.

  21. says

    Well, clutch the pearls. It’s almost like McCain is saying what folks do in private is fine with him as long as he doesn’t have to hear about it. Sort of like saying “It’s okay to be gay, I just don’t want to know if you have sex.” I guess that’s the true meaning of “tolerance.”

  22. Pompeius says

    Re: Russ Feingold for gay marriage

    Well good! Let’s hope he does indeed run for president. And does not backslide on his comment once in the race.

  23. Michael says

    What other group holds such power that it is blamed for the war in Lebanon, Katrina, 9/11, Halloween, disco and the loss of two major US elections in a row: the last presidential election by Democrats AND, one hopes, the upcoming send-them-packing (everyone don’t forget to vote) defeat of the Republicans in both houses.

    While clearly we don’t have the power to do all that, we do have some real power, and some accrued mythical power, and not just for the wedding parties we can throw ourselves. It’s time to use the real power we have to push Hillary, Dean, Kerry, Gore and the rest of the dems to do what’s right–to take the righteous actions in support of our equal rights so that they might then lay more legitimate claim to our support. (and assuring their questionable legacies)
    This double speak from McCain is what could lose him the election. It was what actually had the power to bring down Kerry in the last election. Hillary’s lack of authenticity as pointed out regularly by Arianna Huffington and her coyness on gay issues promises to do the same thing if she’s given the chance to run and hasn’t gotten less coy by then. (As might Ms. Clinton’s well-known and long-held position that democrats must not openly and unequivocably support gay and lesbian issues if they want to win, going so far as to blame her shortsighted unpolitic attempt to change healthcare on the gays in the military issue and staying away from support ever since.)

  24. Leland says

    Sorry if this has already been mentioned, but the putting the bitter in the irony of his talking out of both sides of his scarred mouth is that he spoke at a memorial service in Berkeley for gay Republican Mark Bingham shortly after Bingham and others prevented Flight 93 from making it to DC. Praised him to high heaven, no pun intended, but, of course, didn’t add, “But if he were still alive I would fight to keep him from being able to legally marry another man.”

    I often think of McCain when various Towlerodents brand me as blindly partisan. Unlike McCain, I wouldn’t support the Party I typically favor NO MATTER WHAT. But McCain, as mentioned above was point blank lied about by Bush brown shirts when they were competing for the GOP nomination. Worse still, they were their favorite kind of lies—those which exploit the lowest in people, in this case racism. They suggested that he had sired a black child [oh, the horror] out-of-wedlock [oh, the horror] possibly with a prostitute [triple horror], when, in fact, he only has an adopted black daughter. In addition, they made his wife who had had a serious, reckless problem at one time with prescription drugs sound like a crack whore. So, every time I see him stumping for Bush or praising him at their conventions I projectile vomit in disbelief.

  25. FunMe says

    We need and HAVE to get rid of RepubliCON scum like McCain this November 2006.

    Enough with trying to push America back to a time that was not about DEMOCRACY and “justice and freedom for all”.

    WE THE PEOPLE have to get rid of them now, and make the Congress and Senate Democratic.

  26. Karim says

    What a hypocrite. All he is doing is pandering to theocons. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, McCain!

  27. Robert In WeHo says

    Please keep in mind that John McCain was elected to fill Barry Goldwater’s old Senate seat. You remember Barry Goldwater, he was the guy who wanted to nuke the world in the name of peace. There’s a reason McCain was elected to the seat he has and it’s not because he’s all “warm and fuzzy”…

  28. Anon says

    McCain is not running this year.

    If Mass eliminates its mescegenation law, DOMA will still allow other state to not recognize the marriages performed there. Any married gay couple that moves from Mass to say, Montana, will no longer be married. It gets weird because of full faith and credit, which cannot be undone by law but only constitutional amendments, hasn’t been tested on this one and probably will, which of course will help sponsor the marriage amendment pushed by Bush et al; and even weirder: if the ex-married Montana couple now moves back to Mass, are they still married? What if they move to a state that did not have gay marriage but did not apply DOMA either? I believe that the courts have said that states need not recognize contracts from other states if a Fed statute provides an exemption, but I could be wrong.

  29. peterparker says

    McCain, as usual for a Republican, has it all wrong. Gays should be allowed to marry legally…but the churches should get to decide whether or not they will honor the unions. And if the churches decide they don’t want to honor the unions, fine…fuck ’em!

  30. jason says

    Um, calm down guys. What McCain is actually saying in fact may greatly helps the case (to keep it alive, you see?!)! You queens MUST read between his lines! He has just lowered the caliber of the whole issue to a legal one, not some religious, moralistic crap pot. This is a “conservative” I can respect. He is gay-friendly to say that, but he is basically not going to ire the straight populations (conservative or not, GOP or not, and leftwing or not). Keep in mind, there are MORE straight people in this world, and it’s great to have a Republican like John that doesn’t spew dumbass hatred, OK???!!!

  31. says

    john mccain said that if the democrats wins he is going to kill himself.

    seems a bit dramatic. i do think it will help him win president in 08.


  32. says

    I used to admire McCain as the less offensive of our two AZ Senators. Now I think he is about as admirable as pond scum.

  33. Mitch says

    Sorry Vous that my argument reduces you to name calling because you don’t know if I’m in favor of gay marriage or not.

    I’m making the point that blacks don’t support gays much less gay marriage and the average American simply does not equate gay rights with black civil rights. You may not like that, but it’s the truth. We need to try some new arguments ’cause the ones we’re using now are systematically failing to secure us new rights and your black and hispanic brothers that call themselves Democrats turn against us at every election aligning with the far right to screw us over.

    Besides, your not even man enough to post with your email address so seriously…move on.

  34. paul bartoloni says

    just remember folks, any time a straight person uses the “sanctity of marriage” argument to make their case against same sex marriage, point out to them that neither the federal government or the state governments are in the business of sanctifying anything. end of that argument.

  35. Anon says

    Sanctity of marriage = status of marriage. It’s a “Sneetches on the beaches” kind of thing for them.