Gay Adoption | Religion | San Francisco

The Stewart-Whites of SF: Real Family Values

Stewart_4Great piece in the SF Chronicle about Gregory Stewart and Stillman White who have been together for 26 years and have adopted 5 children of color, ages 6 to 13, from broken homes since 1999:

"When Stewart and White first met their boys, the children were embittered and rejected, bereft of love, abandoned by their biological parents and betrayed by caretakers. A few were at risk from the outset, prenatally exposed to alcohol or cocaine and forced into detox as infants.

All but David, who was adopted as a baby, suffered constant upheaval, switching families and schools frequently. All survived many cruelties and indignities.

They were wanted by no one. But Stewart and White saw them as beautiful children with unlimited potential.

'The kids came to us confused,' says Stewart. 'They did not trust adults -- and why should they? Adults told them one thing and did something else. These kids have been through lives that most of us can't imagine. It is amazing they can do what they do today.'"

Stewart will be installed next Sunday as the first openly gay minister of the San Francisco Unitarian Universalist Church. A committee interviewed more than 30 ministers before unanimously electing Stewart to the post.

Anybody who thinks gays shouldn't be allowed to adopt needs to read this story, and watch the video.

The forever family
Finally home: A white gay couple wanting a family. Five children of color needing a home. A San Francisco church seeking a minister. Done.
[sf chronicle]

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  1. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


    Posted by: jimmyboyo | Oct 2, 2006 5:49:24 PM

  2. After all the terrible school shootings in Pennsylvania today (and in my own community last week), this story made me feel a little better. Thanks.

    Posted by: Brian | Oct 2, 2006 5:49:28 PM

  3. wow and wow and wow

    Posted by: patrick | Oct 2, 2006 6:12:44 PM

  4. This is really great for those kids, but I can't help but feel like the mentality is that children of color are somehow more in need of saving. I guess my problem is that they seem to have intentionally sought out these children based on their color and it comes off as a little self-righteous. To me, at least.

    Not that I fault them at all for the work they are doing - it's truly amazing.

    Posted by: Andy | Oct 2, 2006 6:40:07 PM

  5. This is a wonderful story that just gets better and better as you read it...

    "While the family was living in Nevada, a teacher cornered Arthur and informed him that his parents were going to hell because they were gay.

    'How do you know?' asked Arthur.

    The teacher said he'd read about it in the Bible.

    'Not in the Bible I read,' Arthur replied stoutly."

    Posted by: chrisb | Oct 2, 2006 7:06:51 PM

  6. for such a contemporary blog the expression "broken home" seems a little odd if not outdated. sort of nuclear-family-centric. but you do a great job andy nonetheless.

    Posted by: Sam | Oct 2, 2006 7:36:43 PM

  7. That's awesome.

    Posted by: Neil | Oct 2, 2006 7:51:15 PM

  8. Thanks, Andy. I almost sent the article to you yesterday, but happy you discovered it on your own. Andy above, not Andy T: You apparently didn't read the article closely. I don't recall anything in it indicating they said, "We only want kids of color and three pepperoni pizzas." The social worker who first approached them obviously sensed their potential for dealing with problem kids ["They were wanted by no one."], and it grew from that, including the second one being a biological brother of the first. I'm sure there are some gay [and straight] adoption/foster situations that involve White "love me I'm a liberal" factors, but fewer people of color are adopting than there are kids of color who need loving homes and, it seems, it's more often a case of "this is what is available to you" than "special order." 82,000 kids in foster care in California alone and people are flying to China and assorted other places to import kids more to their liking!

    Even outside San Francisco, Unitarian congregations tend to be among the most progressive, but that this mostly nongay congregation has embraced a gay minister, his partner, and their sons, is very moving, and a lesson, in many ways, that tens of thousands of Episcopals/Anglicans [particularly the ones of color] could learn from.

    Posted by: Leland | Oct 2, 2006 7:58:25 PM

  9. I thought it when I first read the story in the Chronicle and again here on Towleroad: What a heartwarming and inspring story. But why is it so important to call out that the adopted kids are "children of color"? Do children in need have to be characterized by the color of their skin?

    Nonetheless, kudos to this family for their success and congratulations to Stewart on his new status in his church!

    Posted by: TP | Oct 3, 2006 12:11:00 AM

  10. beautiful, uplifting story

    Posted by: dave | Oct 3, 2006 4:40:54 AM

  11. What an enjoyable read.

    Posted by: Lady Heather | Oct 3, 2006 5:06:08 AM

  12. I was pulled in until I saw he was to be installed as a UU minister. I feel so sorry for him and his family.

    I give them... 2 perhaps 3 years and this congreation that supposedly unanimously voted them in will toss him and his family out. I have BEEN THERE, I have LIVED IT. All it takes is one elder member with contempt in their heart to plant the seed.

    Posted by: Rad | Oct 3, 2006 8:08:49 AM

  13. I find it an obvious hypocrisy for a gay man to be a minister in a religion that has been notorious for ostracizing gay people. I suppose I want to believe that someone who has come to terms with themselves might also be able to recognize a few more universal truths and maybe question other ideas as well. But, the fact that he has become a christian minister in the current sense is... sad.. Still, I suppose you don't need to be or not be anything in order to do good things, I'm glad for that much.

    Posted by: Scott A | Oct 3, 2006 8:45:36 AM

  14. Ya know, it's kinda wierd...

    You just don't see "good news" like this heavily rotated in the media. It's a bit discouraging that most of us have to sort of search these uplifting, affirming stories like this out.

    Which is another reason I love ya Andy T cuz you just saved me a whole lotta work and I'm lazy. :-)

    Posted by: Derrick | Oct 3, 2006 9:44:45 AM

  15. Why is it that you won't see THIS story on CNN or MSNBC or Fox when they have their roundtable of homophobes (Perkins. Buchanan, etc.) discussing "the gay problem"?

    Posted by: Zeke | Oct 3, 2006 10:53:09 PM

  16. My partner and I have been together 32 years. We legally adopted our first (straight) son in 1980 and now have legally adopted our second (gay teen) son two years ago. Our story has largely been untold, but people need to know that gay people have been adopting straight people's children for ever.

    Posted by: Rex Martin | Oct 4, 2006 1:34:35 PM

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