Sarah Jessica Parker's Lessons in Parenting: Gays
Sarah Jessica Parker recently revealed (and I believe this was originally said on Oprah) that her four-year-old son James Wilke has been asking her questions about what "gay" means.
Said Parker: "He's very interested in what being gay is because so many of our friends are gay. When talking around your child you have to think very carefully and you have to be prudent about you're choice of words. You talk about people looking for happiness and fulfilment in their lives and how all families are different and look different. You're forced to really consider your answers. You're forced to think a lot about what you're saying and how you're saying it - even the tone."
It was also revealed that SJP took little James to his first celebrity party for gay stylist Serge Normant. Said Parker: "He loves Serge. He wanted to come."
Not to get on the 'I think everyone is gay' bandwagon, but isn't Mr. Broderick bi? I remember him saying that in an interview about 1989?
Posted by: Otto | May 24, 2007 12:18:04 PM
Considering that she is married to Matthew Broderick, this isn't terribly surprising. I personally don't see what's so difficult about this issue unless you are homophobic. How hard is it to say, "There are men [women] who love other men [women] the same way that daddy loves mommy."?
And I'll insert a minor rant here on one of my pet peeves... I REALLY dislike the term "gays". I am NOT a "gay". I am a PERSON who happens to be gay. There are far too many individuals out there who would like to forget we are people. I'd just as soon not encourage them. Okay, rant over.
Posted by: Dean | May 24, 2007 12:19:05 PM
I've never heard that, Otto... and I just did a search and couldn't find anything on it. However, Mr. Broderick did star in "Torch Song Trilogy" with Harvey Fierstein which would lead one to believe that Mr. Broderick is at the very least gay-friendly.
Posted by: Dean | May 24, 2007 12:24:46 PM
Thank you Dean for not shooting me down for suggesting it. I just thought I had heard it at one point before he was even married. I did run in those circles at the time, and always thought it. BTW-no, Mr. Broderick and I have not had a conjugal visit-so don't bank on my theory.
Posted by: Otto | May 24, 2007 12:39:48 PM
OK guys, just because the mister is not super butch does that mean he's bi? Me thinks ya'll are dabbling in a bit of stereotyping here.
Posted by: rich | May 24, 2007 12:57:16 PM
Dean,
Loving the "not a gay" rant. I'm right there with you.
Posted by: JR | May 24, 2007 1:05:15 PM
What a crock. Will someone "in her circle" please bitch slap JSP? Or is one wrong to read into her comments the implication that she's afraid if she's too positive, too "neutral," her son might "experiment" or Manolo Blahnik forbid, "become" gay? Manolo knows she wouldn't have learned anything more sophisticated or "real" from her years with SITC Queen Darren Starr who could only populate the show with one tired stereotype of gay men even though the show was set in a city with more gays than the ENTIRE population of Wyoming or Vermont or Alaska or North or South Dakota.
When her son asks what "Jewish" means, does she worry about her "tone"; how "prudent" her "choice of words"? After all, one chooses to be Jewish. Doesn't she have some dusty GLAAD award she should be giving back?
Posted by: Leland | May 24, 2007 1:15:16 PM
Rich
it has nothing to do with his mannerisms. it has to do with living in cities where people who are very credible have had direct experiences. did anyone say "he must be bi, look at him." no, they said they thought they saw that in an interview.
Posted by: nycredneck | May 24, 2007 1:17:26 PM
She seems to be making this much more complicated than it needs to be. When I was four I doubt I questioned why mom and dad were together--it was just the way things are. Ditto for other parents I knew. The poor kid just wants to know what the word means! Apparently he hears it all the time. Something like "when two adult men love each other and live together they are gay..." would suffice at this point I should think. No need to bring up guys who haven't hooked up at his age. The kid will just keep asking "why is the sky blue?" until he's satisfied or frustrated.
Posted by: anon | May 24, 2007 1:28:17 PM
I never said that. As a gay, I hope he is not-it sucks sometimes. I do appreciate that she cares enough to give a shit. iIf he is-cool. Bi guys can live with str8 women. Very well actually. Open your mind. BTW-I've been called worse-so don't even bother. YAWN.
Posted by: Otto | May 24, 2007 1:36:40 PM
She seems like a cool person/great mom - what's the big deal?
Posted by: Giovanni | May 24, 2007 1:50:13 PM
Matthew Broderick has not ever come out as bi--I am pretty much positive about this. Also, SJP has always been a great friend to the "people who happen to be gay" so if anybody bitch slaps her they will have me and my fembots to answer to.
Posted by: Daniel | May 24, 2007 3:24:27 PM
Ok, correct me if I'm wrong -- note I said "correct" not "crucify"-- but wasn't SJP the one that let her son watch parts of BBM and the kid later went to hug his nanny because the cowboys in the movie did that when they loved eachother, or something like that.
I'd sincerely doubt she's any shade of homophobic. IMHO
Posted by: silverskreen | May 24, 2007 3:36:28 PM
Daniel - LOL!!
and on a fembot note - I can't wait to see the new one ;)
Posted by: silverskreen | May 24, 2007 3:40:11 PM
Yeh, yeh, yeh. And Dick Cheney loves his lesbian daughter. Naive much?
Posted by: ThomasPaine | May 24, 2007 3:49:54 PM
not much worse that a liberal having to 'face' that whole gay thing. it's all fine in theory.. for adults.. but what about the poor, impressionable children ?!
ugh. dean has it right: just tell the kid that some boys like girls and some boys like boys..end of story.
.. and p.s. anyone whose alarm hasn't gone off over broderick needs to have his gaydar checked.
Posted by: el polacko | May 24, 2007 5:14:06 PM
Leland, my friend, I think you completely misinterpreted what SJP was saying.
I've cringed at the way many GAY people explain to their kids about what "gay" is. I hear gay parents, especially those who were in the closet when their kids were born, explain what it means to be gay in such labored and uncomfortable ways that I can't imagine how the kid doesn't get the idea that it must be something terrible. Then there are the ones who try to hide their sexuality from their kids. That CERTAINLY leaves them feeling that there is something wrong, shameful or disgusting about it.
I think SJP wisely has picked up on this. She realizes that showing discomfort, or reacting in a certain way will be picked up by a kid immediately, and translated as a negative, and therefore you have to be thoughtful in letting them know, with words AND BODY LANGUAGE that it is a normal thing for some people; it's no better or worse than straight. If it's hard for many gay people to handle this question appropriately, imagine how difficult it would be for a straight person who is speaking from second hand knowledge.
I am VERY impressed that this woman put so much thought into how she responded. I don't think for one minute that she was talking about how she could hide things or avoid talking about an uncomfortable subject, as you're suggesting. I think it is much more likely that she was talking about getting it right on every level so that her son would have no doubt that gay is OK. That is SO refreshing in my book.
Posted by: Zeke | May 24, 2007 5:30:06 PM
I can't believe how this is being dissected, having seen these comments come out her mouth last week. Talk about being late to the party.
Posted by: 000000 | May 24, 2007 5:39:54 PM
Otto- No problem. I would imagine that it would be very easy to ascribe gay or bisexual to Mr. Broderick as he has been- for quite awhile- one actor that the label never seemed to bother. I happen to think he's just a very cool straight guy.
JR- LOL. As I said, it's just a pet peeve of mine. Lord knows, we get called worse. I just think that removing the term "person" or "people" from a group dehumanizes them.
I'm not sure I commented properly on SJP... other than saying I'm not surprised. I think it's wonderful that someone who really doesn't have to deal with an issue still gives that issue such consideration. It sounds like her kid should grow up to be fairly well-adjusted as far as sexuality is concerned- whether he's gay, straight, or bisexual. Too many parents seem to adopt the "It won't be MY kid" attitude.
Posted by: Dean | May 24, 2007 5:50:52 PM
Well put, Zeke. I think she was choosing her words carefully so as to let her son know this was just another way that people are, with no sense of "other" or "different".
Posted by: Michael | May 24, 2007 6:26:23 PM
Zeke is correct, I saw this when it aired. Maybe it's not clear in print but she was clearly conveying that she thought carefully about how to convey it so that it didn't sound bad or negative in any way.
Posted by: Kaja | May 24, 2007 8:05:53 PM
Leland, please shut the fuck up.
Thanks.
Posted by: just no | May 24, 2007 9:55:17 PM
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar.
The Bartender says "Hey, why the long face?"
Posted by: Crixi Van Cheek | May 25, 2007 10:01:19 AM
I'm not going to read the above comments, but will rather state that people such as SJP give me hope that reason, compassion and love still exist in today's society. I recall watching a SJP interview on the "Conan O'Brien Show" in which she states her son watched "Brokeback Mountain" (SJP of course admitted she edited certain "scenes"), but that the movie demonstrated love between two people of any gender (race, etc.) exists, is natural and should be cherished. Homophobia, racism, sexism - all of them are learned behaviors that coalesce in the home environment. Parenting is an extremely important tool in fighting future hatred.
Posted by: Cory | May 25, 2007 12:06:59 PM
SJP is one cool mom. People read to much into what she says. She is surrounded by gay people and obviously likes them. Give her a break!
Posted by: romariga | May 26, 2007 10:53:09 AM