Comments

  1. Danny says

    But…but…if that’s true then it means you’re like me. And if that’s true I can’t paint you as an evil “other” that I can blame for everything that’s going wrong around me. And if that’s true, who CAN i blame? And why would my political party be telling me that you’re the evil other? Unless THEY…

  2. says

    Pointing out the utter irrationality of the opposition’s arguments (many of which are mindlessly accepted by privileged straight people) is always a good strategy, and Cynthia does it articulately and with humor. Bravo.

  3. Bart says

    Well said. Unfortunately, she’s speaking to someone who is so ignorant you could literally see the words bouncing off his sweaty forehead like a cartoon.

  4. Bryan says

    “…gay people who want to marry have no desire to redefine marriage in any way.”

    Nixon is a mealy-mouthed apologist, not terribly bright, or perhaps an out-and-out liar. That she presumes to speak for anyone other than her shallow self is infuriating.

    Perhaps she actually believes that our goal is to ape heterosexual marriage, complete with its toxic, claustrophobic relationships based on fear, jealousy, and male dominance, 60% divorce rate, and damaged, ignorant, destructive children. That doesn’t make it so.

    We intend to change marriage and we will. By our mere participation in it, LGBTQ people will completely redefine the institution of marriage in ways about which we can only speculate. Given that the institution is failing disastrously – ethically, spiritually, and economically – it can’t happen a moment too soon.

    LGBTQ people have forgotten something that our opponents know very well: we are not them. NOM and the other bigots will – sooner or later – lose this and all their fights by the simple expedient of dying and getting out of the way. Given that our “lifestyle” is actually a state of being, LGBTQ people never had the power to convert anyone. We have, however, been very successful in sharing our culture of tolerance. It isn’t difficult – it’s a better and more joyous way to live.

    Brown will never be persuaded, but his children won’t need to be.

  5. Joe says

    Every gay advocate needs to be as articulate as her. I think people need to be saying this exact statement ALL THE TIME. It summarizes perfectly what we are fighting for and explains the idea of equality in simple terms that most people will be able to understand.

  6. Bill says

    Bryan, I would argue that your post is an attempt to speak for all gay people in the same way that you claim Cynthia’s words do. I appreciate that you enjoy the idea of “us” being so different from “them”, but not everyone lives that way. I’m sure you would agree that the LGBT community comprises a very diverse group of people. Some of those people would enjoy a marriage identical their straight counterparts, while others want nothing to do with marriage at all, seeing it as a sad attempt to achieve acceptance in a heteronormative society. I suspect that many people fall somewhere in between. Cynthia Nixon may not speak for every gay person, but she does speak for a lot of us. I don’t think she was trying to assimilate gays as much as she was trying to assuage the fears of “them” who are against “us”. For what it’s worth, reading the comments posted on blogs like this one makes me wonder how anyone could think we share a “culture of tolerance”. I think it’s our culture of divisiveness that holds us back.

  7. Sargon Bighorn says

    The term “same sex marriage” describes nothing as NO ONE ever used the term “Opposite sex marriage”. Do YOU use that term? I didn’t think so. It’s stupid to say “same sex marriage”. Gay citizens want Marriage not same sex marriage, not Gay marriage, not opposite sex marriage, not straight marriage, JUST MARRIAGE. One would think that would be an easy concept. No wonder Gay Americans don’t have civil marriage equality now, they want something different because they keep asking for something that does not exist.

    The Radical Religious Extremists coined the term “same sex marriage” to help pass ballot initiatives in about 30 states that changed state constitutions to codify marriage as one man one woman, in effect barring Gay citizens from marriage. They know the damage it does to the cause of civil marriage equality.

  8. says

    Absolutely brilliant!

    @BRYAN: as for the rights and responsibilities if legal marriage? Yes, that’s what WE are fighting for. And there are plenty of healthy non-sexist straight marriages out there.

  9. Bart says

    sorry Bryan, I want EXACTLY what straight people have in marriage: the ability to leave my pension to my partner, for him to make medical decisions for me if I were unable to, to make sure that we jointly have the same rights and responsibilities for the two children we adopted together, for him to automatically inherit everything I have if I were to die.

    As for us redefining marriage…I’ll leave that to others. I want the legal stuff so my family is provided for and taken care of if I cannot.

  10. RJ says

    @BRYAN… You truly think Cynthia Nixon believes the LGTBQ goal is to ape heterosexual marriage, with relationships based on male dominance? Since she’s a lesbian, how exactly is that supposed to work? For that matter, even in gay male relationships, who gets to be the sexist man? Do they take turns depending on the day of the week?

    Tom: I get to be hetero sexist husband on weekdays.
    Javier: Ok, that means it’s my turn on weekends.
    Tom: This is gonna be so much fun.

    Btw, she has just as much right to speak out on behalf of gay people as you do.

  11. David in Houston says

    I would have really liked to have heard Brian’s response to that statement. I’m sure whatever came out of his mouth was inane and trite.

    You can’t hold the position that same-sex marriage will redefine marriage, but interracial marriage didn’t. Of course it did. For centuries people of different races weren’t permitted to marry. Based on his ideology, he should support banning interracial marriage and (based on biblical history) support polygamy. Which makes it clear that his real agenda is anti-gay rhetoric masked in religion.

  12. says

    I agree, SARGON BIGHORN. Words matter, and every time we, and our allies, use the term “same-sex” or “gay” marriage we are, in fact, setting ourselves apart, even if that’s not our intention. (Clearly, it is the intention of the opposition.) The only term we should use is “marriage.”

    @BRYON: I get where you’re coming from (there are many straight couples–and some gay ones, too–I wouldn’t want to emulate), but if we’re fighting for marriage equality, we do want exactly the same thing that heterosexuals have. Otherwise, we’d be fighting for something else. The rights and responsibilities of marriage are concrete, rather fixed, and should apply equally to every couple. But that doesn’t mean that, within marriage, couples–gay and straight–can’t design their relationships as they see fit, or that marriage can’t evolve naturally as a consequence. Marriage is always evolving, for better or worse, but it’s difficult and dangerous to state “redefining marriage” as a goal if we’re striving for equality.

  13. says

    I meant @BRYAN, sorry. Perhaps I should add, along the lines of DAVID, that I think the inclusion of gay couples in marriage, like the inclusion of mixed-race couples, has the potential to improve the institution because it demonstrates an evolving sense of fairness and tolerance within society. But I think that’s different than changing the specific rights and responsibilities of marriage, which is what we’re fighting for. Voting is improved when everyone is allowed to vote. But it’s still voting. Likewise marriage.

  14. JOE 2 says

    Great comments here – except for Bryan. (Sorry, Bryan, but you’re going to have to bear the brunt of my anger regarding the negativity and mean-spiritedness that all too often characterizes comments on this blog.) As it happens, I know Cynthia and have worked with her a number of times. She is anything but a “mealy-mouthed,” “shallow” “liar.” And she is fiercely intelligent. Not only is she our ally, she is one of us. You could have made your point without stooping to the level of sandbox insults. Again, sorry, not to single you out, but the name-calling and inappropriately directed rage in the comments typically found here are beyond tiresome.

  15. Tyler Anthony says

    @Bryan:been very successful in sharing our culture of tolerance

    What world do you live in? Tolerance lol I was dupted into believing that when I came out.

    Tolerance? Yeah ‘we tolerate old people as long as they have a muscled body and even though they may be bald as long as they were a A&F cap we accept them, we’ll label them bears or daddy’s… Oh and they gotta have a bit of money’

  16. Thomas says

    Wow, its sick, self serving faggots like Bryan who take something so eloquent and precise and turn it into a debate.

    Marriage is not a right. No one, straight or gay, requires it to breathe, eat, sleep or reproduce. As Mrs Nixon pointed out, when gays are allowed to marry, it will not change the definition. Gays will, like so many others, be allowed to move from the little kids table to the grown ups table If that little faggot Bryan wants to change the definition, fine, but don’t use it at my expense

  17. CKNJ says

    Cynthia is awesome! Thanks Joe 2 for giving your first hand knowledge as her friend as an addition of her REALLY succinct and great response to that knuckle-dragger Brown. Kudos, Cynthia, and thanks!

    Unfortunately, then we then have Bryan here to piss on the parade… while I agree marriage is not perfect, it’s what marriage allows and represents to those married that matters. So the mealy-mouth asshole award unfortunately has to be attributed to YOU dude, for your angry tirade.

  18. Christina says

    Why shouldn’t gay people be allowed to sign away half of their stuff like the rest of us? Who cares which gender you prefer if you want to experiance the misery known as marriage it should be your right

  19. B-RAD says

    WOW IT IS AMAZING THAT YOU HOMOSEXUALS AND LESBIANS CANNOT MAKE ONE ARGUMENT WITHOUT BRINGING UP AND COMPARING YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION TO THE AFRICAN AMERICAN PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY WHO WERE AND STILL ARE VERY MUCH SO AT A DISADVANTAGE (OR AS YOU WOULD REFER TO YOURSELVES AS THE NEW NIGGERS ON THE BLOCK) YOU TEND TO WEAR THAT SHOE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT WHEN IT SUITS YOUR NEEDS AND NOT WEAR IT WHEN YOU SHOULD. BECAUSE YOU HOMOSEXUALS AND LESBIANS ARE TO BUSY DISCRIMINATING AGAINST “BLACK PEOPLE” AS YOU WOULD PHRASE IT WHILE PARADING AROUND A RAINBOW HINT HINT UNITY AND TOLERANCE AND YES PUN INTENDED. IT WOULD DO YOU WELL TO STAND ON YOUR OWN TO FEET AND GIVE YOUR ARGUMENT FOR WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE AND NOT MENTION AND OTHER CAUSE TO COMPARE YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION TO, AS YOU CAN HIDE BEING HOMOSEXUALS AND LESBIANS YOU CANNOT HIDE BEING AFRICAN AMERICAN (AND I PERSONALLY DO NOT THINK YOU HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO REQUEST SHIT) WITH THE BLATANT DECEPTION THAT YOU HAVE SET INTO MOTION WITH “OH I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS HOMOSEXUAL UNTIL AFTER I JOINED THE MILITARY WHICH IS JUST A LOAD OF BS AGAIN I TYPE IF YOU DO NOT WANT GAMES PLAYED WITH YOU DO NOT PLAY GAMES YOU NEED TO MAN UP AND BE HONEST ABOUT WHO YOU ARE WHEN YOU ARE…

  20. CKNJ says

    @B-RAD: How about YOU morons that think we have “not earned the right to shit” think logically instead of with your bigoted hearts? Discrimination is discrimination no matter the color or orientation, and if a similar effect of discrimination is felt, it is perfectly valid to compare it. Like if I punch you in the face (and after a cussid fucked up tirade like yours, it’s tempting!) or punch the person next to you in the face, you BOTH feel the effect and both would lay a charge.

    Thus, when African Americans were told who they were/weren’t allowed to marry and WE are being told who we are/aren’t allowed to marry, we are subject to the same discriminatory crap and THAT is the point of similarity, and it is 100% valid to compare the two issues. Discrimination against African American people was born of people seeing them as ‘different to’ by myopic fearful people, in much the same way that gay people are now treated by terrified homophobes who refuse to accept we have a place in the world and see us as ‘less than’ on the grounds of our orientation.

    Oh, and as for your whine about soldiers ‘coming out later’ in the Military and suffering expulsion through DADT, if homophobic fucks like you did not discriminate against gay people, this would all be moot. These honorable people, who want to serve the country, would be totally honest about their orientation if they were not discriminated against (and fired) for being gay.

    The problem stems from the hate and spite and meanness that you have been taught all your life, which makes it hard for you to accept people that are simply different to you. So, the work that needs to be done… is YOURS, because WE are not going away.

    Oh and by the way, it’s NOT POLITE TO SHOUT IN BLOG POSTINGS BY USING ALL CAPS (upper case intended)… didn’t anyone teach you to write properly in upper and lower case? Jeez. Go troll elsewhere!

  21. B-RAD says

    JUST LIKE A HOMO TO GET OFF TOPIC

    “Oh and by the way, it’s NOT POLITE TO SHOUT IN BLOG POSTINGS BY USING ALL CAPS (upper case intended)… didn’t anyone teach you to write properly in upper and lower case? Jeez. Go troll elsewhere!”

    IT NEVER FAILS

  22. Jason D says

    “Perhaps she actually believes that our goal is to ape heterosexual marriage, complete with its toxic, claustrophobic relationships based on fear, jealousy, and male dominance, 60% divorce rate, and damaged, ignorant, destructive children. That doesn’t make it so.”

    I don’t know any married couples who fit this description, or wants to. I have a hard time believing Bryan knows any straight people if that’s what he’s observed in their marriages.

  23. Jayda says

    I really liked what she said except for black people being invited to the table. Black people didn’t wait for an invitation and neither should gays/lesbians

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