Comments

  1. JDMdallas says

    Lemon’s comments about his not being effeminate and not wanting to be a woman made me uncomfortable. The LGBTQ community needs all the out support it can get. This “I’m gay but I’m still a man” posturing puts Lemon in a category of gay male perhaps but it also seems to suggest that he is the right kind of gay male or the best kind. I wish his talk would have been more embracing of the entire spectrum of human sexuality.

  2. suede says

    I thought it was interesting how he was putting down the double-life of men “on the down low”, while he himself has been leading a double-life inside the closet. They’re both groups of people dealing with societal pressure.

  3. Josh says

    All the best to this successful, warm man. But I have to pinch myself for wanting an even more word-perfect role model on television. I know what he meant, but saying: “there would be no need for the Tyler Clementis of the world” is insensitive. Or suggesting Joy is Jewish without knowing for a fact. Serious news anchors don’t make these kinds of mistakes.

  4. Derrick from Philly says

    “… while he himself has been leading a double-life inside the closet”

    He said he was not in the closet to friends, family and co-workers.

    “Lemon’s comments about his not being effeminate and not wanting to be a woman made me uncomfortable.”

    As a feminine male, I didn’t find what he said offensive. It’s about breaking down stereotypes. I welcome more traditionally masculine Gay men to go public–then maybe they can leave us queens alone and shut the f.ck up.

  5. Tranquilo says

    @JDMDallas: he was trying to describe how many in the black community regards LGBTQ people. He wasn’t being judgemental or self-loathing.

  6. justme says

    I think what he’s doing is great, but thank goodness for Joy catching and correcting his misinformation about pedophiles. He’s right about the majority of pedophiles being heterosexual, but he’s not doing anyone any favors by being wrong about heterosexual pedophiles only targeting victims of the opposite sex. Pedophilia isn’t about sex, it’s about power. Heterosexual pedophiles rape victims of their own sex all the time.

    Pretty important piece of information for him to get wrong, but, otherwise, good for him.

  7. dh says

    OMG, how dare he say that there’s more homophobia in the black community! How racist! He obviously hates black people!

    If a nonblack person said that on this forum he or she would be crucified.

    On a serious note, what a warm and beautiful man. I bet the marriage proposals are just rolling in.

  8. Derrick from Philly says

    “If a nonblack person said that on this forum he or she would be crucified”

    Because he/she/its hatred of Black people would be he/she/its motivation for saying it not a well thought out & researched observation.

  9. dh says

    @DERRICK FROM PHILLY–You’re actually doing a disservice to Don by downplaying the obstacles he pushed through within the black community. Don, unlike you, is telling the truth about black homophobia. I’m pretty sure the poll numbers for Prop 8 do count as “researched observation.”

    We have some awesome straight black allies. Russell Simmons, Maya Angelou, Shaquielle O’Neal, Chris Rock, etc., and I love them all the more because they are brave enough to stand in stark contrast to many of their peers.

    I would never want to downplay their support, nor the contributions that black lgbt people have made for our cause. But we shouldn’t have to sugarcoat the subject of black homophobia. The problem will not go away if we bury our heads in the sand.

    It is a much bigger obstacle for blacks than it is for whites, Hispanics, Asians, etc. I wish it were not so, but it is. If you are honest, you will admit it like Don does.

    Derrick, that is not hatred speaking, it is compassion. I am not your enemy.

  10. Derrick from Philly says

    DH,

    There is no way in this world that Don Lemon has endured more anti-Gay hatred (actually anti-fem hatred) and Gay bashing violence from Black folks than I have. I respect what he has to say, but neither he nor anybody else can lecture me on homophobia in Black communities. I survived…physically.

    Having said that I am still Black, and I have been very disappointment by the level of anti-Black sentiment from some White Gays. And as long as Andy Towle allows it I will respond to their comments, or until I find something better to do here in the office.

    It’s always the same posters on this blog who make negative comments about Black people. No matter what the incident is they turn up to point out “how horrible Black people are.” And that appears to be their only point.

    What kind of White people are they comparing Black folks to when they talk about Black homophobia being so much worse and so “rampant”? Why not compare Black folks to the White Americans that they share a religious background with: White Southern Evangelicals? Then let’s see who is more homophobic.

  11. Paul says

    I totally thought Joy was Jewish! That exchange deserves it’s own post. She is such a walking/talking Jewish stereotype! But I guess it just goes to show that stereotypes are unfair.

  12. Rocco says

    Nice to see less of the “crabs in a barrell”
    phenomenon around here. I think Don Lemon represents the best about us. I am very proud that he is out there as a role model.
    I look forward to reading his book.

  13. dh says

    Derrick–Believe it or not, it’s not all about you. When people here criticize black homophobes, nobody is including you in that category, obviously.

    If you want to start a thread about how bigoted white Southern Evangelicals are, I’ll be happy to chime in. You can be sure I will not give them a free pass.

    You could say the same things about the military, pro sports, Mormons, country musicians, etc., but that doesn’t diminish the support from Dan Choi, Charles Barkley, Harry Reed, or Dolly Parton.

    Yes, some of the comments here have been somewhat racist, but racism is not the only motivation for talking about black homophobia.

  14. says

    DH,
    No shade but this comment here from you where you said “It is a much bigger obstacle for blacks than it is for whites, Hispanics, Asians, etc. I wish it were not so, but it is” Posted by: dh | May 17, 2011 3:32:52 PM

    That is a damn lie and you know it. WHITES are the ruling force of ANTI GAY hatred the money alone they put into it is HORRIFIC! And as for Hispanics did you see the mostly Hispanic march that Rev Diaz led against Gay Marriage in NYC? If not Go visit Joe My God and see the pics. Catholism is not HOMO FRIENDLY

    So to say that you’re our friend (AA’s) I would say seems suspect no shade and I will tell you why Don Lemon does NOT know every African American in this country he is speaking from the status quo and what he knows. Most folks in our community(LGBTQ) and gay bloggers outside the AA community would rather much report about the HOMOPHOBIC actions of AA’s than the ALLIES.And when they do report about the allies the comments are so few that speaks VOLUMES of what they really want to know about AA’s and their involvement!!! So when it’s negative It makes for better reading, more pages hits and also shows the hatred of a race from other races regardless of sexual orientation.

    And another thing as far as Prop 8 read this
    http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2009/01/09/race_prop8

    The bullcrap about Blacks and Prop 8 is getting quite old now! The weapon is dying.

    Derrick as always you were quite on point as usual!

  15. dh says

    @CHRIS DACHOCOLATEBEARCUB–“Catholism is not HOMO FRIENDLY.”

    I’m glad you brought that up. I am Catholic. Whenever someone here critcizes the church, I nod my head and agree, because the church IS homophobic.

    I don’t get my panties in a bunch accusing Andy Towle or his readers of being “anti-Catholic bigots.” I don’t deny it, I don’t make excuses for it, I OWN IT.

    Changing a homophobic culture is tedious, thankless work, and it requires brutal honesty. And it pisses people off.

    The only thing we can do is go back into our respective communities, educate our family and friends, and challenge them on their issues.

    And we shouldn’t be afraid to criticize other people’s communities either. I’m not Russian, Jamaican, Muslim, or Mormon, but all lgbt people have a stake in what’s going on in those communities.

  16. says

    DH,
    You’re failing to see something. How do you know us Black LGBTQ folks are NOT educating our communities where we live and congregate?

    I don’t believe we need to validate that to you or any other group just like I have never ask you or anyone that’s Catholic et al to validate that you’re trying to educate them one mind at a time. It must all work from within each community.

    And there is a difference between criticizing and HATRED! I’m sure you know that.
    You said “I don’t get my panties in a bunch accusing Andy Towle or his readers of being “anti-Catholic bigots.” I don’t deny it, I don’t make excuses for it, I OWN IT”

    OK,Well lets put it like this when it’s any other group that is being homophobic and it’s being discussed. I’ll see the disappointment and anger and decent deabting on the issues.

    BUT, When it’s an African American that’s accused of being a homophobe it turns into the castigating of an ENTIRE RACE not a group from within with comments such as: “The Back of The bus”, ” I should vote to take away their rights”, “ni##er”, amongst other things. And I’m sure you don’t consider that criticizing????

    And do any of the Towleroad readers whom make these comments OWN THAT????
    So how we do work to change the minds of gays who can seem to understand homophobia from everyone else.But can’t from African Americans????

    There are issues here that need to be corrected before trying to correct others!

  17. Rowan says

    Im sorry but Behar is a Jewish name. Where the hell is she from then? Ireland?

    This is what pisses me off about Jews and us minorities can see that. Even if they look, talk, walk and have a jewish name, they will deny it until the end because they don’t ‘practice’ Judaism but heck, for us dark people it’s not so easy to pass is it?

    I know so many black people who have more white blood-not via slavery but actually through a mother being white and the father half white-but are considered black.

    Obama is considered African american when he is half white American and half African from Kenya. Kenya is the opposite end to west Africa where all the slaves originated from so you can’t get two different regions of people if you tried!

    Like the celts and the Anglos or the latins and the nordics all in Europe.

    Such BS.

  18. Rowan says

    Also, I know what it says on her wiki page. The majority of Italians and sicilians were of Jewish origin who left Italy for New York.

    Again they always felt like outsiders and experienced anti-semetism. Horrible but it’s a pity they don’t try to delve into why they fled some areas in Europe.

    Even if your parents say one thing, NEVER believe them! My mum tries to feed us all sorts of lies about our past because she wants to keep all the not so prefect stuff secret. It’s like that program, who do you think you are? And they always have people choosing only one area to find out more about and it’s usually one that says they come from noble blood!

    What a joke!

  19. Kim says

    Rowan -Behar was her ex husband’s name.Her maiden name is Josephina Victoria Occhiuto according to her marriage certificate.But I guess like Trump you want to see her long form birth certificate. GMAB.

  20. Thomasina says

    @Rowan: It sounds like you have some general, antisemitic issues surrounding the topic of Judaism, and they have lead you to draw some delusional conclusions about Jews as a whole. As for your specific delusion that Joy Behar really is Jewish and is pretending not to be (because, you claim, “Behar is a Jewish name”), it may help you to discover that “Behar” is actually the name of an ex-husband she divorced many years ago, and her last name at birth was “Occhiuto.” It hardly matters, though–since there is no such thing as a “Jewish name,” and your claim that there is seems to be a part of your strange conspiracy theories and family issues.

  21. dh says

    @CHRIS DACHOCOLATEBEARCUB–I agree with most of your points.

    “How do you know us Black LGBTQ folks are NOT educating our communities where we live and congregate?” I know they are. Keith Boykin, Pam Spaulding, and Wanda Sykes have done more for their communities than I ever have. And they have their work cut out for them.

    ” I have never ask you or anyone that’s Catholic et al to validate that you’re trying to educate them one mind at a time.” Why not? I think it impacts all of us.

    “And do any of the Towleroad readers whom make these comments OWN THAT???? ” I will. You’re right, using the n-word, talking about lynching, or comparing human beings to animals is degrading.

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