2012 Election | Gay Marriage | News | Rick Santorum

Marriage Compared to a Non-Alcoholic Beverage, in Rick Santorum's Latest Lesson: VIDEO


Yesterday I posted a speech by GOP presidential hopeful Rick Santorum in which he compared marriage to a napkin. Here's his latest, via Think Progress LGBT:

“[Changing the definition of marriage] like saying this glass of water is a glass of beer. Well, you can call it a glass of beer, but it’s not a glass of beer. It’s a glass of water. And water is what water is. Marriage is what marriage is."


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  1. And you can call the byproduct of anal sex a rose, but it is still Santorum. Water is what water is and Santorum is what Santorum is.

    Posted by: Chadd | Aug 10, 2011 11:56:30 AM

  2. WHAT??!!

    Posted by: Billy | Aug 10, 2011 11:56:58 AM

  3. Comparing a material object (ironically, a fluid) to an idea. Wow, what a deep, logical thinker.

    Posted by: tranquilo | Aug 10, 2011 11:59:03 AM

  4. But water is in beer. You wouldn't have beer without water. And beer is more expensive than water, so obviously, turning water into beer is a great improvement.

    Regardless, Rick Santorum has gone insane. Perhaps he's been drinking too much... water.

    I think I'll have a beer.

    Posted by: bobbyjoe | Aug 10, 2011 12:00:54 PM

  5. This inane diatribe just makes him look like a petulant child that keeps saying over and over that marriage is what I want it to be. So there! I would love for him to rationalize Newt Gingrich's 3rd till-death-do-us part marriage (and his two affairs), and explain why that's okay in society (and perfectly legal), but not same-sex marriage.

    Posted by: David in Houston | Aug 10, 2011 12:03:32 PM

  6. You know, if you take an infinite number of Santorums and put them in a room with an infinite number of nouns, eventually one of them will make a comparison analogy that isnt weak and ridiculous.

    So far though, that hasnt happened.

    Posted by: Spudger | Aug 10, 2011 12:07:18 PM

  7. seriously, this guy goes on about the gays more than us gays do about ourselves

    I never wondered about him in the past but to go on and on so much makes one wonder if he is protesting too much

    Posted by: say what | Aug 10, 2011 12:09:46 PM

  8. Why does he keep talking about SSM? Doesn't he think that there may be other issues that everyday folk are concerned about? Maybe the economy? He just doesn't know when to shut his mouth. What an idiot!

    Posted by: Married in MA | Aug 10, 2011 12:10:17 PM

  9. Seriously, weve GOT to find out what his Verbal score was on the SATs. He cant possibly have scored more than 350.

    Posted by: Spudger | Aug 10, 2011 12:10:37 PM

  10. Jesus can make water into wine, so why not beer?

    Posted by: Dastius Krazitauc | Aug 10, 2011 12:13:15 PM

  11. No, it's like he's saying his relationship is Evian and mine is tap water, and that his is somehow better than mine. But they're both water. Get over yourselves, straight people!
    They hate that gay people exist ("don't tell The Children!"), they hate that we're not quiet and ashamed about it, and they hate that some of us are married and have children. But they are in a losing battle with reality.

    Posted by: JeffInSF | Aug 10, 2011 12:13:22 PM

  12. Unless, of course, you are Jesus - then the glass of water is really a glass of wine. I suspect Santorum just handed us a real "religious" argument as to why same-sex marriage is really just marriage.

    Posted by: Jim in MN | Aug 10, 2011 12:13:30 PM

  13. "Marriage is between a man and a woman because it just IS. Q.E.D."

    Sorry, Frothy Boy; that argument doesn't hold water in any rational sense.

    Neither does "Because it's always been that way". Because that's a LIE.

    And "Because it says so in the Bible" is a LIE and won't stand up to rational scrutiny.

    And "Because Jeebus told me so" proves that fundamentalist religious zealots of every stripe are psychotics who should be lobotomized.

    Starting with Frothy Fecal Leakage here...!

    Posted by: One of the CA 36,000 | Aug 10, 2011 12:15:18 PM

  14. Jesus wept. Pitiful.

    Posted by: yonkersconquers | Aug 10, 2011 12:15:25 PM

  15. Faster, little dutch boy, scrub faster!

    Posted by: Gregoire | Aug 10, 2011 12:17:38 PM

  16. o_o

    Posted by: flucht17 | Aug 10, 2011 12:20:52 PM

  17. Will someone stick a beer in Rick's mouth so he'll shut up?!

    Posted by: ChrisMe | Aug 10, 2011 12:22:56 PM

  18. Maybe something else could be stuck in his mouth...

    Posted by: TJ | Aug 10, 2011 12:30:02 PM

  19. Is it any wonder that Rick doesn't have a real job?
    And how does he support all those kids?

    Posted by: sjorgl | Aug 10, 2011 12:31:08 PM

  20. And by something else, OF COURSE I mean a napkin.

    Posted by: TJ | Aug 10, 2011 12:31:51 PM

  21. Momma says stupid is as stupid does

    Posted by: Jere | Aug 10, 2011 12:40:49 PM

  22. This airhead wanted to sound smart...lol.

    Posted by: Akira | Aug 10, 2011 12:41:10 PM

  23. You can call yourself a politician, but you're really just an effing idiot.

    Posted by: mrmnyc | Aug 10, 2011 12:47:49 PM

  24. And Stupid is as Stupid does... and says..

    Posted by: matt | Aug 10, 2011 12:53:05 PM

  25. OK, I think I got it. You wipe up a beer spill with a napkin but you wipe up a water spill with a paper towel. Is that right?

    Posted by: Jack M | Aug 10, 2011 1:04:00 PM

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