Veteran Leader Removed from Son’s Boy Scout Troop After Officials Discover She is a Lesbian

And the anti-gay discrimination from the Boy Scouts of America continues. In this case, it doesn't matter that you are  an "uber leader" in the Scouts for 10 years, or are in a 20-year committed relationship with two children who excel. If it is discovered that your relationship is with a woman, you are through.

Steele The Loudoun Times reports:

In retrospect, the situation was probably good – her son’s troop excelled at everything, including accomplishing badges and winning the Blue and Gold Award all five years, one of the highest awards for Boy Scouts.

Above all, like any mother, Steele put her son first and wanted to make sure he had a great time in scouts. But in June, Steele’s chances to further bond with her son through scouting were dashed. The mother was removed from the troop after one of the other assistant scout masters discovered Steele is a lesbian.

Steele was discovered by an assistant scout master one weekend on a camping trip:

After discovering that Steele’s partner had picked her up, Inabinett felt that she should be removed as an assistant scout master. In an email that Inabinett sent to a close personal friend of Steele’s and whose son was also in the troop, he stated, “If what you said about Denise Steele being an active sexual is true, do you feel comfortable talking with her about stepping down/resigning as an ASM … as her friend, this may be an opportunity for you to share with her about Christ’s love and the need to believe that as sinners we cannot get to heaven on our own and that we need a savior.”

More communication between both Steele and Inabinett went on for the next couple of weeks. The conversations centered around how Inabinett thought Steele’s lifestyle choice was a sin. Funk described the situation between Steele and Inabinett as bullying, and it left Steele crushed and in tears through the many email exchanges.

“But this guy, who’s demonstrated very much a bullying behavior, if boys bullied other boys or girls bullied other girls to get what they wanted the way this guy has bullied her in today’s school system you’d probably get kicked out of school,” Funk said about Inabinett.

Potomac Falls woman removed from son’s Boy Scout troop [loudoun times]


  1. Sarina says

    I don’t understand why gays and lesbians associate themselves with these homophobic institutions. What happened was horrible, but unsurprising. One can’t be shocked by what happened. It’s a bit like a woman entering a male locker room and screaming in shock: “They’re naked”.

  2. walter says

    always love this christians who feel the urgent to preach and impose their values on everyone. always thought love thy neighbor was one of their beliefs? it should read love thy neighbor as long as they believe act the same as you. religion creates more hate than love.

  3. Francis says

    Well, that may be true Sarina, but the point is that kids are being hurt by this. These children can’t do what they see their friends doing, which is bonding with their parents, the parents bonding with each other, and learning some valuable life skills in the Scouts. And that’s really what needs to be remembered, not only are the gay/lesbian parents being horribly discriminated against, but these kids are basically being told “you’re parents are evil.” Just think about how they’d feel in situations like this.

    The message being sent by the Scouts is it doesn’t matter if you’re a good parents, a good Christian, someone who gives to the community and is a great leader, beloved by everyone. If you’re gay you’re a leaper. You’re evil if you’re gay, no matter what positives you contribute. Just another glaring example as if we needed any, that these “Godly” folks are hate-filled vermin. The sickest thing is how entitled they are in their hatred.

  4. Leo says

    There was a guy in my class I knew was gay since I was a freshman but didn’t say anything. He was an avid member of the Boy Scouts (I had quit the troop early on). Got his Eagle Scout award, graduated as salutatorian, and went on to Princeton University. Come to hear through the grapevine two years later he came out and all those years with the Scouts was just for his college application.

  5. TampaZeke says

    My son wanted to join the boyscouts until I told him about their discriminatory policies, then he wanted nothing to do with them.

    For the life of me I can’t understand gay people who not only want to support and promote anti-gay churches and organizations but want to enroll their children in these organizations that teach them that their parents are sick, dangerous and not welcome.

    I just don’t get it.

  6. ohplease says

    If she loves her son, why is he in Boy Scouts to begin with? If he loves his mothers, why is he staying in Boy Scouts?

    Virginia is apparently a step or ten beyond the Twilight Zone. Except the Twilight Zone made sense. Nothing that any of the people in that news story have done or are doing makes any sense at all in the real world.

    For that matter, why even live in Virginia?

  7. Demian says

    @EZAM, I run a small philanthropic foundation, and we ended many years of making grants to the BSA and the GSA.

    As LGBT families become stronger in US culture, perhaps they will start their own achievement organizations for kids.

  8. BigGayJason'sBigGayBusRide says

    Hit the BSA where it will hurt, in the donation stream. Most local United Way funds give money to the BSA. Make it an issue with the local United Way executive director. Also if your local municipality gives discounted space to the BSA get them to adopt a discrimination clause that prohibits the use of public facilities for organizations that discriminate.

  9. Commeca says

    I’m thinking about the other kids in the troop and the son of the bigot… those boys saw a friend’s mother, whom they no doubt liked and respected, pilloried and driven out by hatred generated by a Middle Eastern myth system that professes to generate love.

    It’s gonna have an impact on their opinions of both Christians and gay people and I’m betting we win that one. I wouldn’t like to be Inabinett’s son under any circumstances but after my father pulled this crap, I’d want to leave town.

  10. robert in nyc says

    Being gay is a “lifestyle” choice? Really? Seems that religion is a choice, nobody comes into this world that way, learned behavior, brainwashing children against their will who become tomorrow’s bigots and bashers. Pure evil!

  11. Fenrox says

    @EZAM and the rest, OR, you could start a scouts program that improves on all the problems of current scouts. That wouldn’t hurt them, but would destroy them.

  12. ... says

    Let the Boy Scouts do what they want. It is creepy when gay men demand an end to their discrimination. And yeah, I would feel the same if it was straight men demanding the right to be leader of a Girl Scout group.

  13. Bill says

    To the one who said it’s “creepy when gay men demand an end to their [Boy Scouts] discrimination.” Why? Because gay men who want to help teach young men must obviously be pedophiles? Really? Even if your logic made any sense (which it doesn’t) the BSA also excludes LGBT kids from participation. There is nothing right or good about the BSA that isn’t tainted by their bigotry.

  14. Hollywood, CA says

    If I was her, I would have the BSA tell her that she’s not allowed to participate in front of the other kids. Total transperancy. Tell the kids exactly why she’s being kicked out, and how everyone else is “without sin,” which is why they get to stay in. Shame everyone, and if they woudln’t do it, I would storm the meeting myself, with my children. A great opportunity to teach your children what’s wrong and what’s right. No more of these email exchanges where it’s easy to discriminate and bully. Do that #hit in the open!

    And, on a personal note, I would whoop that guys ass IN THE STREET!

  15. Codswallop says

    The Mormon and Catholic churches are the tail that wags the dog at the BSA, particularly the Mormons. They are the largest financial supporters of the organization (part of the uber “wholesome” image they want maintain) and are highly placed in the leadership. There are badges specific to the Mormon church which can be earned by doing work for the local LDS “stake,” at least in certain areas and troops.

    This is another instance where the dialogue on the issue has been highjacked and “spun” to seemingly be about one thing, when it’s not about that at all. It has NEVER really been about openly gay men becoming Scoutmasters. It’s about the fact that boys join Scouting as elementary school age Cub Scouts, before most have a clue about sexual identity, but if they later discover they are gay they are kicked OUT. They already ARE Scouts so it’s not about letting anyone IN, it’s about the homophobia within the organization and kicking members out who have done nothing but acknowledge their sexuality.

    Based on media reports about gays and the Boy Scouts you’s think that openly gay men are lined up around the block trying to become Scoutmasters when that isn’t the case. It’s about the discrimination gay KIDS face inside the organization.

    And FWIW, it’s not openly gay men parents have to fear being around their children anyway, it’s the guy they DON’T suspect, the straight, often married guy who’s “so good with kids” and puts himself in regular contact with them. Look at statistics on child abuse and you’ll see the perpetrators aren’t openly gay men who (as things stand now) are outside the mainstream, their actions closely watched, it’s the average Joe who you never give a second thought to. Pedophiles work at seeming harmless. How else would they get close enough to their victims?

  16. Codswallop says

    “Let the Boy Scouts do what they want. It is creepy when gay men demand an end to their discrimination. And yeah, I would feel the same if it was straight men demanding the right to be leader of a Girl Scout group.”

    You’re an idiot. It is NOT about openly gay adult men wanting INTO the organization as leaders. It’s about gay Scouts who have been members since elementary school and the discrimination they face when they later become aware of their innate sexuality. Many of them have dedicated years to the organization and been high-achievers, intent on earning the highest level of Scouting, becoming Eagle Scouts. But due to NO other reason than acknowledging their sexuality they are kicked out. THAT is what the “gays in Scouting” issue is really about.

  17. Steve says

    There is a comment on the site that changes the story a bit. According to it all the other parents knew that she way gay. It wasn’t a secret until some radical decided to make an issue out of it and report it upwards

  18. Chris says

    I’m wondering when the scouts are going to formalize a Bible badge or ribbons for memorizing X number of bible passages per month?

    Kind of shocked that such a shovenistic organization would even allow a woman to be in a leadership position.

    You know when I was in scouts it was all about respecting the world around you – it had a very Native American culture. Thus you have the Bear Scouts, the Cub Scouts, the Eagle scouts. The whole premise was based around that culture. When in the world did it take such a christian ROTC culture.

    It’s far far different than what I had when I went through it.

  19. says

    Comments on the Loudoun Times site really made me ill and it’s typical of the religious, far-right, FOX News, Republican followers that homosexuality promotes pedophilia..

    FACT: The link between pedophilia and homosexuality is completely unfounded. A 1998 article in the Journal of the American Medical Association notes one study that determined that 90 percent of pedophiles are men, and that 98 percent of these individuals are heterosexual. Michael Stevenson, Ph.D., a psychologist at Ball State University, explains this statistic by noting that “gay men desire consensual sexual relations with other adult men. Pedophiles are usually adult men who are sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children. They are rarely sexually attracted to other adults.” Stevenson observes that cases of pedophilia by adult lesbians are “almost non-existent.” Two other major studies that examined the sexual orientation of convicted child molesters found that less than 1 percent in one study and 0 percent in the other were lesbian or gay. These studies were published in Pediatrics and Archives of Sexual Behavior, respectively, two peer-reviewed, widely respected academic journals. Preventing gay men and lesbians from becoming adoptive parents or foster parents does not protect children from sexual abuse. It simply perpetuates anti-gay prejudice.

    FACT: The CHURCH, primarily the Catholic Church, has had more charges filed worldwide against it than any other organizations when it comes to pedophilia.

    Let’s just hope these low-life haters don’t spill a drop of Kool-aid when it is passed to them by their bigoted leaders.

  20. ... says


    Unless there’s a shortage of straight adult men interested in participating in Boy Scouts activities, I don’t see why a gay man should be bothered about “helping” those young men. And considering how enlightened boys are at that age, they probably wouldn’t want to have a gay scoutsmaster either. Plus, there are plenty of ways men – gay or straight – can take part in their community activities to help youngsters of both sexes (or is it only male young men that gay men are interested in “helping”?).

  21. Jim says

    The BSA is a true definition of a hate group. I refuse to give any money to them. When they are asking for money in my neighborhood, I remind them that I would love to give thousands to them, but they discriminate other americans.

    A good alternative is Scouting for all which I instead give to

  22. Glenn Peterson says

    Responding to this posted comment: “There is a comment on the site that changes the story a bit. According to it all the other parents knew that she way gay. It wasn’t a secret until some radical decided to make an issue out of it and report it upwards.”

    To this I would ask: Where were all of these other parents when this was happening? They had an opportunity to set the right example for their children, and apparently didn’t take it. This was a teachable moment that was squandered, and their children are the worse for it.

  23. Uncle Nic says

    “always love this christians who feel the urgent to preach and impose their values on everyone. always thought love thy neighbor was one of their beliefs? it should read love thy neighbor as long as they believe act the same as you. religion creates more hate than love.” In this instance, the ideals and moral compass of the Christians was in place first, so this is clearly an imposition of values, but in the opposite manner of how you choose to see it. The preceding statement was not meant to offend.

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