Comments

  1. Caliban says

    I just want to scream! And though it’s unfair, and I know that, part of me wants to rail AT Kenneth for letting a bunch of high school PUKES take this away from him.

  2. says

    Christ, he looks exactly like my nephew. It’s enough to make me scream.

    Reading comments from the original post, there seems to be a perception of a lack of support beyond It Gets Better. But there is:

    The Trevor Project – (866) 488-7386
    (http://www.thetrevorproject.org)

    Project Life Vest – (510) 725-1408
    (http://www.projectlifevest.org)

    Or consult the suicide.org website for additional numbers and
    information: http://www.suicide.org/index.html

    Is this information not getting out? It should be on every bulletin board in every high school in the country. A youngling may decide not to pick up the phone, but he/she should at least know that they have that option.

    One other thing: in our world, which I hope is governed by reason, intelligence and informed opinion, what these kids do to themselves can produce anger at the young people themselves. Or maybe it’s a merely a head shake at the incomprehensible. But in many rural stretches of the US, especially here in the South, these terrible acts are greeted as victories. We must never underestimate the ruthlessness and cruelty of ignorance… especially religious-fed ignorance. And for each one of us who wants to walk into a school principal’s office and ask what is being done to raise awareness of this crisis, there are any number of parents who are more than prepared to push back in order to keep it in the shadows.

    Honestly, I don’t know what the answer is. I wish I did.

  3. Mickey says

    My post should read:

    My heart just breaks for another loss of what could have been.

    RIP Kenneth Weishuhn.

    Moderator please delete my previous comment if possible. Thank you

  4. Rick says

    I have to point out that most of these kids who commit suicide were very well already aware of and heavily involved with “gay” culture. Some have even made “It Gets Better” videos. This kid even had wedding plans. And most of them seem to be big fans of Lady Gaga and the like. So they were not by any means isolated from the gay community or unaware of potential sources of support. Quite the contrary.

    At what point do some of you begin to acknowledge that what you are offering does not provide these teens with the hope of happiness, in the absence of acceptance by and respect from other males?

    And do you think that respect is ever going to come about, as long as you continue to encourage gay teens to be social anarchists and embrace a culture of effeminacy and “gender-non-conformity” that will necessarily make them the object of ridicule and scorn from other boys/young men?

    Some of you should be pointing fingers of accusation back at yourselves–it is your indoctrination of these young men that is driving the kind of behavior that makes them targets.

    There is a solution, Tim, but it will entail a complete overhaul of “gay” male culture and an embrace of masculine values that should come naturally to any man, regardless of sexual orientation.

    That solution would both improve the self-esteem of these young men and make them more respected by their peers, eliminating the two factors that cause tragedies of this sort….but nothing else really ever will.

  5. Ricco says

    I wish I also knew the answer. The only thing I know to do, which is slow and painstaking, and hardly makes up for the loss of this beautiful kid is to try to be good to one another, to do all that we can to live lives that prove that things can get better.

    I set Kenneth Wieshuhun’s “When I Get Married” Pinterest page as me desk top background to remind me to appreciate my partner, to look for the beauty in the world and in others, and as a prayer for Kenneth’s family as they try to cope with their unfathomable loss.

  6. Brian says

    Rick,

    This is the last time I’m going to engage you on these topics, it’s just too painful. But really, I’m pleading with you to stop with this crap every single time a young man kills himself. We all know your viewpoint, and to be honest on certain topics I find it offers a different, possibly even interesting, perspective. But you take these suicides as an opportunity to push your agenda and it’s just so offensive and inappropriate. You keep blaming “us” for pushing some fantasy effeminate culture at these kids, which makes them kill themselves. If I had to guess, your macho quotient is probably no different than mine, or many/most of the readers here, so you’re just beating a straw man with this argument (Leaving aside whether there’s any merit to the argument).

    So you know nothing about us, and nothing about the bullying victim, but you make up the “fact” that we’re all a bunch of queens, and that the young man was an effeminate lady gaga fan, and then you prescribe some sort of butching up program as a solution.

    You’re like the Westboro Baptist protesters showing up at every gay suicide with your same nonsense, and I just wish you could see how unwelcome it is.

  7. Francis says

    Ignore the troll, Rick, people. People who don’t accept themselves are, for obvious reasons, not in the position to question why others don’t accept one another.

    The answer are lawsuits, rallies, and forcible action. Yes, it gets better campaigns are around, they’ve saved COUNTLESS number of lives, the kids in these rural areas may realize that there is a large swath of support across the country, but in their COMMUNITIES, there is little/no support. That is the primary thing that has to change. Gay people in these communities have to be out to make a difference, but most of them are closeted due to the homophobia the out kids and teens are facing. It’s a cycle. It’s going to take the adults in these communities making a difference, to create change. They’ll have to make a difference, speak out, give these LGBTQ teens someone to relate to and decompress to, and take no prisoners. And they will have to have the bravery it takes to look hatred in the eye and not allow it to shake you. That’s the hard part. Do people in these communities really want change, are they too damaged and fearful to speak out? Would they rather blend in than stand up? Those are the questions that have yet to be answered.

  8. says

    while engaging Rick is useless, as he’s a pathetically closeted troll, the reality is that our culture will survive and we will win the fight against bigotry and intolerance when we do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the Ricks of the world say.

    i was labeled the “neighbourhood fag” by age 7. i had two suicide attempts under my belt by age 14. i was punished and bullied for existing outside some perceived “norm” – and it’s actually the fault of pathetic cowards like this testicle-free Rick wimp.

    i was who i was, and i am who i am, and none of those things means prejudice against me is justified. that’s why i live out loud, that’s why i raise my voice, that’s why i stand up to be counted.
    and incidentally, that’s why cowards like RICK hide anonymously – he aint masculine, he aint out, he aint empowered. one more grown-up “man” with no balls who hides in a closet and wants company.

    sorry. company is outside. if you’re a gay man who demeans men whom a bigoted society denigrates for being “effeminate”, then you can congratulate yourself on being a coward who can’t stand up to fight the real enemy. you suck up to the bully in hopes they won’t target you. you’re the reason young people are dying.

    it’s worth noting that none of the “femme guys are to blame” complainers can put a face and name to their comments. “S**t Insecure Closet-Case Adults Say”

    if you dont’ stand in solidarity with all of your brothers and sisters you have blood on your hands.

  9. Stephen says

    2 weeks ago I was telling a friend/coworker that I haven’t cried in 10 + years. As I reviewed Kenneth’s Pinterest page my dry spell ended. God, this breaks my heart.

  10. ratbastard says

    Alright, Kenneth’s family, parents, friends should have been more aware of his state of mind. I’m not trying to ‘bully’ them, or make them feel bad, just stating a simple fact. Especially his mom and dad. Their young teenage son came out in H.S., many ‘friends’ rejected him, taunted him, yeah, that’s where you grab the bull by the horns and be proactive with his mental health and well being.

    Was he a psychoactive drugs fro depression/anxiety? SSRIs are infamous for causing erratic, even suicidal behavior in young adults. It’s almost automatic a kid and many adults who go on shooting sprees, murder/suicides, etc. are on SSRIs. But they can be particularly problematic with young adults whose brains are still forming. One of the great scandals of our modern world that big pharmaceuticals and The Industry manage to cover up and deflect attention.

  11. Kim says

    @Ratbastard Blame the victims.The parents of the bullies should have taught their kids about respecting others and treated others with decency and compassion.You don’t know what his parents did or did not do. My brother committed suicide despite the fact he was under a doctor’s care and received spiritual counseling from our minister.He was not on any prescription meds

  12. Francis says

    Thanks once again for keeping it 100% real, Kiwi. I honestly do not get it. That gay people will basically turn a side eye to other gays who are bullied for being gay, solely because they are effeminate. It literally does not compute in my head. And yeah, it is true, fem gays DO take much more of the brunt of anti-gay bullying. So instead of saying “it’s their fault for being fem”, why don’t we put an end to the double standards, sexism, hyper-masculinity, that consumes our society. Fem gays are not the problem.

  13. says

    Francis, there are two commenters on this site who post their “i hate femmes” nonsense, using various fake profiles.

    and understand this – they’re grown adults, who are still Closeted. And they’re not masculine. They’re terribly insecure. If they believed what they say, they’d be making a great show of who THEY are – videos, URLS, PROOF – proof by example. To change things. They don’t do that. Why? Because nobody in their own live accepts them as being gay. Nobody. That’s why they hate guys that are considered “femme” – because those people live Out, and they can’t. none of the “i’m so masc” guys that throw their b.s. around the boards are man enough to put a face to their comments. it’s all anonymity. there’s nothing “masc” about being a coward.

    check this out, francis:
    http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2009/09/in-defense-of-my-glorious-femme.html

    the RICk’s of the world? theyre like this coward:
    http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.com/2011/09/carrying-self-hatred-into-adulthood.html

  14. MarkUs says

    Teen suicide in general tends to be heartbreaking doesn’t it. What happened to those Boston teens who drove that poor Irish girl to hanging herself because the “big man on campus” football player expressed interest in her and not the Heathers?

    I’d bet Kenneth’s friends who abandoned him are first in line for media interviews and crying the loudest at the funeral. Which they should be I suppose.

  15. Rick says

    “So instead of saying “it’s their fault for being fem”, why don’t we put an end to the double standards, sexism, hyper-masculinity, that consumes our society.”

    There you go, Francis–by posing that question, you demonstrated exactly what the source of the problem is. You and others want to destroy masculinity, rather than eradicate homophobia. And that is your fatal flaw and your strategic error.

    You will never destroy masculinity–it is part of nature and that will always be reflected in male behavior. You will never make effeminacy and cowardice socially acceptable, because doing so would endanger a society’s survivability.

    We can eradicate homophobia, but ONLY in a context where masculine values are embraced and homosexuality is seen as an expression and extension of masculinity, rather than a contradiction to it.

    And until you and others understand that and acknowledge it, nothing will change–regardless of how many laws you pass, rallies you hold, or other actions you take.

    Realize that the bullying that you saw in this instance (and others like it) was undertaken by the up-and-coming generation, in whom so many of you have placed your hope–a generation for whom the term “That is so gay” is the standard phrase for everything that is not cool.

    The point being that younger men are no more inclined to accept effeminate behavior than their great-grandparents were, even though they are more willing to accept homosexuality.

  16. Rick says

    My father used to dress me up as a little girl when he made me blow him, and that’s because you effeminate queens made him think that gay means GIRL. All I ever wanted was to blow him while I was wearing boys’ clothes, and I’ll never get to do that and it’s the fault of you limp-wristed Lady Gaga worshippers.

  17. Brock says

    Right, on Rick! I agree! I’m so sick of these effeminate wimps trying to destroy masculinity.

    The worst offenders are those ridiculous vegetarians. Go to any city or town and see what REAL men are eating and you’ll see that it’s meat. Do they give out broccoli at football games? Do real men go hunting for tofu? NO. MEAT.

    Vegetarianism is part of the plan to turn real men into hippie effeminate queens and I’m glad to know that I have a supporter in you, Rick, in getting rid of these women-idolizing veggie freaks.

  18. ratbastard says

    Cut the crap,people. I didn’t ‘blame the victim’, but pointed out his ‘friends’, especially his mom and dad, should have been aware of how delicate his state of mind would be under the conditions he found himself in. Most adults would have a hard time dealing with similar situations, let alone a young teenager. And was he on psychotropic drugs [SSRIs]? It’s important to know.

  19. Brian says

    Again, you’re making crap up Rick. Francis certainly didn’t say he wants to eradicate masculinity and promote effeminacy and cowardce. So why do you take the time to make up this argument, which nobody believes, just to attack it? All Francis, Little Kiwi, and every sane person on earth wants is to be let alone, and be allowed to do our own thing. If you get your rocks off dressing up in military gear and saluting yourself in the mirror, that’s fine. Nobody is saying you can’t do that. But we are saying that many people will fall short of your hypermasculine standard (including the large majority of straight men, whom you fetishize but really don’t know) and that should be acceptable to all, not bullied out of existence.

    Do you really believe that your nazi/skinhead make-believe hypermasculinity is necessary for society’s survival? If that was ever the case, that period ended somewhere during the middle ages. The only way we’re ever going to get anywhere today is through adopting a live and let live attitude. And we’ve made a huge amount of progress along those lines in the last few decades. I can’t believe that you think this is a dead end, and that somehow it will be easier to have society (which in your world means white men) march around in jackboots.

    Lastly, “that’s so gay” has been around for decades, I probably said it a thousand times as a kid, so don’t jump on that as a new trend among the young.

  20. Rick says

    @Brock He-he-he. There are certainly aspects of our culture that tend to regard as masculine, behaviors that really are not: meat-eating might be regarded by some as one of those, although I have to point out that the vast majority of women eat meat, too–and much of the world’s population is vegetarian by necessity–so I would hardly regard pursuing a vegetarian diet as a form of “femininity”

    Let me be clear, though: I am not saying that the old John Wayne-style of machismo is what the culture should aspire to…..but instead a natural masculinity, shorn of excess and false notions and reduced to its essence….The goal is to allow men to behave naturally, rather than in either the artificial ways that machismo entails or the effeminate ways that gay culture represents…..which will ensure an optimal level of social well-being for all of us.

  21. Francis says

    Yeah, that’s so gay has been around a long time, longer than just the past few years. In fact based on what I’ve read the term is DYING OUT because of overusage. So basically, you’re a liar, Rick, and you twisted my words completely and saw what you wanted to see in what I said, to suit your severe issues revolving around masculinity and femininity, and everything in-between.

    With all of this said, I’m going back to ignoring you.

    Also, Kiwi, I read your discussion with that homophobic self-hater on grindr. I’m honestly quite speechless but it’s really, really PATHETIC just how insecure some people can be with themselves, to the point they take those securities out on others. I understand why, of course, one would be insecure, why someone would be damaged by the heterosexist society we all live in, but to actually go out of your way to create distinctions within our own community and then discriminate based on those self-created distinctions is disgusting. It’s like……….you’re gay. You’re in the LGBTQ community. Why attack someone who isn’t your enemy? Folks like Rick need a wake-up call, as to who the true enemies are. Cause it isn’t the gay community, and it isn’t accepting straights.

  22. TJ says

    Reading some of the comments above (and you kow which ones), I keep seeing that officer (general?) in “Dr. Strangelove,” the one obsessed with his ideology about fluids.

  23. Brock says

    Nice excuses, Rick. You’re one of those effeminate vegetarians, clearly. When was the last time you saw a real man say no to a steak? Go out in the world and see what real men are doing, it’s not eating vegetables like your effeminate self is. Natural masculinity involves eating meat and you’re just one more effeminate lisping queen if you pretend otherwise.

    I thought you were a real man. Turns out you’re not.

  24. Rick says

    @Frasncis Yes, it will eventually die out, the way every language fad does…..but it will die out for the reason you cited, namely overusage, NOT because the sentiment behind it has changed.

  25. Gordon says

    There is nothing to be said about gay rights in the west, bickering is biatching. Pointless & boring. There is no poltics in being gay – only other’s that condemn gay as a free will right

  26. Paul Keckonen says

    Is it just me or are some of these anti-femme baiters implying that anything less than macho behavior in males is abnormal, not natural and somehow a product of modern culture? Hmmm, tell that to the Hijra of India and Pakistan, the Kathoey of Thailand, the Femminiello of Italy, the Akava’ine, Fa’afafine & Mahu of Polynesia, the Bissu – one of the FIVE recognized genders of the Bugis people in Indonesia, the Muxe of the Zapotec culture, the Two-Spirit (formerly called Berdache) of many Native American cultures and the Mukhannathan of Arabia. Many societies over the course of history have recognized that some people though born “male” are “female” in spirit or whatever you want to call it. Modern science recognizes that NONE of us have a completely “feminine” or completely “masculine” brain. ALL of us begin life with a “feminine” brain that becomes “masculinized” in the eighth week of development with a testosterone surge. So in effect “queens” are born not made, but just how “queeny” is probably a result of nurture rather than nature.
    My question…is a misogynist created by nature or nurture? My guess is nurture. Those who dislike or even hate women/females and by extension non-masculine males/men must have suffered some kind of trauma in early childhood, either humiliation or abuse by probably a female figure in his life or even perhaps by a male figure too. I can imagine a young gay male future misogynist being taunted and humiliated by a male figure berating him for not being “man enough” perhaps abusively punished for crying or some other things that “only girls” do.
    There are a number of online “brain sex” tests from reputable sources that take only minutes. It would be interesting to see what kind of results our resident “macho men” get.

  27. jamal49 says

    This. Is. Heartbreaking.

    May God rest his soul.

    May the rest of us rise up and start violently fighting back against the homophobes. It is the only thing they will understand.

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