1. says

    If you are going to be in public, someone isn’t going to like you. Someone isn’t going to like what you say, what you do, what you’re wearing. Usually it’s more about that person and their own miserable lives projecting that onto anyone else. Enjoy your moments of triumph, but don’t expect everyone to love you. No one has that. Hold your head up and ignore the haters.

  2. Chris says

    Whatever adult allowed that child to run for homecoming queen without preparing her for the inevitable onslaught is really at fault here.

    In the current culture, any homecoming queen weathers an barrage of negativity via social media from people who disagree with the win. Make that winner a transgender teen and multiply that by a million.

    Is the criticism right or fair? of course not, but it is to be expected, and the adults in this teen’s life should have prepared her for it. That wouldn’t have made it easy, but she would have know what she was facing.

  3. says

    This is a sad situation.
    But to answer your question directly, happiness does not lie in what others think of you.

    This is why “Facebook” is the greatest calamity of the Internet.
    We are now seeking approval from ‘friends’ and count our ‘likes’…….IMO we have become pathetically needy.
    This is no disrespect to Cassidy; she has been incredibly brave and true to herself.

  4. MaryM says

    She ran for Homecoming Queen – she therefore invited feedback.

    While the feedback is clearly upsetting and cruel, she needs build a bridge and get over it.

    Life is not fair, all the time.

    Who are her parents or guardians. They should be ashamed of themselves for alowing her to place herself in such a vulnerable position.

  5. oncemorewithfeeling says

    Allowing her to run for homecoming queen isn’t the issue, but giving this child unfettered use of the Internet is.

    Where was the parent who should have stopped her from posting this? The very facts that she’s a teenager and this is 2013 are all the reasons an adult needs to say no, you do not need nor should you express every thought and emotion you have for a permanent video record available to the entire world.

    Bad things happen. Nothing’s perfect. We get upset. But responsible adults don’t memorialize bad moments for the world to see. She’s a teen and she has hormone isues beyond most other teens, so she should not be making decisions for herself by herself that have permanent repercussions.

    By elevating the bullying of strangers to being more important than her acceptance by community, she has, I’m sorry to say, betrayed all the people who supported her. She’s flat-out saying that support wasn’t good enough.

    Not good enough? It was astonishing! But will those people and others think twice about supporting a trans person in the future, now that they know that their best isn’t good enough?

    She gets to run for and win homecoming queen. She gets to be happy when she does. She gets to be upset when people are mean to her. She gets to do all of that in the same night, if that’s what her truth is. She should have cried into as many real, human shoulders as she felt she needed to in order to get past it.

    She should not, however, have been allowed to broadcast and aggrandize her temporary emotions at the expense of what she should now and most certainly should in the future be celebrating as a great, imperfect night. She should absolutely have responsibly reported all the bad that happened, but shown, as she should see now and hopefully will with time, that the good overcame it. She has allowed herself and her supporters to be robbed of this night by her permanently making this night all about her being vanquished by the bullying.

    I am not blaming the victim. The victim is a child at an age when bad things seem catastrophic. I am, rather, sorry for her on so many levels, including, in this instance, that someone was not parenting this child.

  6. Mike in the tundra says

    A lot of the advice being given is good, but she is not an adult. The advice being given to her is great for adults, but basically she needs to know people care for her and even respect what she did. However, she sure as hell needs to get off of Facebook.

  7. John says

    No, winning Homecoming Queen doesn’t mean you’re automatically ‘happy.’ It doesn’t change everything or anything. People are still dicks and you still need a thick skin. You’re still 16 and different. It’s unfair, but this situation seems to demand greater parental supervision.

  8. disgusted american says

    the ol’ saying – just let it ROLL off your shoulders Cassidy…..those people are NOTHING….Only YOU can GIVE them POWER…DON’T!!!! Be HAPPY in your accomplishment…..!!!

  9. says

    ” Facebook” is the biggest con that has been perpetrated on kids and young impressionable adults.
    The idea of posting private information, thoughts, vulnerabilities, crises, on what amounts to a three-ring circus is purely exploitative.
    “Give me your tears, your whines, your hatreds, your delusions of your own talents, your pics of yourself looking ‘awesome’……..”

    These kids need to be taught that ‘happiness’ is a work in progress not a 24 hour burst of acclaim.
    And for God’s sake close down Facebook.

  10. terry says

    As Wren, the transgender boy from Canada put it the kids in school who might have a problem are just preparation for the jerks he’s going to meet later in life. To be gay or trans is going to attract jerks but you don’t have to invite them into your life.

  11. Thedrdonna says

    @Sam: I once had an emotion, so I stuck a pin in it and keep it pressed in a book. I’m dead inside.

    But seriously, the only people at fault here are the bigots who are crapping on her victory. Not the parents, not the school, only the assholes.

  12. Maggley Ballager Jr. says

    She’ll be ok in the long run.

    I hate that a lot of you people think that what she has faced from a large part of the public is o.k. because “life is not fair” ??

    No wonder a lot of previous generations were messed up in the head. You old boneheads just tolerated things. WHY do you always want to just accept vitriol and violence against any person? It’s like how some of you ask that blogs and news sites stop reporting on Bryan Fisher, or my (mother) Maggie Gallagher. Why do you like to live with your head in the sand? Those people are the reason why this girl is getting a wave of hate. We need to confront this head on.

  13. Suzanne says

    So some negative comments on FB in the wake of a big news story is now “bullying”? Please. Gay and lesbian kids endure real bullying. Towleroad should be focusing on that, not on the whining of a self-identified heterosexual girl.

  14. jjose712 says

    Houndentenor: She didn’t come public, she run to homecoming queen at her school, and people liked her, because she won.

    The backlash was because this end being national news.
    She needs to stop reading comments (wich probably is not that easy, because bigots really like you to take notice of how stupid they are) and enjoy her moment

    And frankly, some coments here make me want to puke. Some people have zero empathy for anyone but themselves. Cynism is not enjoyable at all

  15. Frank says

    It’s no wonder it takes us forever to make some progress as a community. Gay people don’t know how to stick together, and if you want the proof just read some of the comments here. This is why I say gay will NEVER be the new black. When black people were facing rampant discrimination in the 1960’s, the people on the front lines fighting it were mostly students no older than this girl here, and guess what? In the face of horrible adversity, they didn’t throw shade and make snide remarks telling each other “to get over it”. Instead, they stood strong and built each other up; that’s after facing down police officers with Billy clubs, fire hoses, and police dogs. Just a sad lot some of you are.

  16. Suzanne says


    Too bad you are unable to tell the difference between murder and physical assault as are in your link and some negative FB comments that pop up after a big media story.

    No one should be bullied, period. Trans activists should stop bullying lesbians at our music festival. They should stop bullying gay writers and artists like Diego Luna. And they should stop bullying writers who explore the origins of transsexualism. One such author had to call the police at a book reading because of violent trans activists.

  17. Bellah says

    Wow What a supportive bunch.

    Congratulations Cassidy Campbell, for having the courage to run, For winning and for speaking out. You just made things so much easier for those coming after you.. good Job now who is gonna pony up the funds so that this young lady can take a well deserved vacation

  18. Don Bialat says

    ok just to wade a little into this. every time theres a trans related story, we see Dr Donna popping up to give us the “right” to think about transgenders. Well, Dr Donna has admitted that she is not a medical doctor. Her name has something to do with a character on a sci fi show.

    so what do the real medical professionals say? Well, they say that 1/3 of trans people kill themselves and another 1/3 of them attempt to kill themselves. That means that suicide, which is a fairly rare occurrence in the general population, is actually a routine thing practiced by the majority of transfolk. And a 2000 study shows that these figures don’t improve after surgical “transitioning”. The gay suicide rate is higher than average too, but it is nothing close to the trans rate and the gay rate plummets when there is greater acceptance. That doesn’t happen with the trans rate.

    So there is something else going on. We don’t really know what. It seems to me that LGBs should understand that there are real differences between us and Ts and if we want to help Ts maybe the solution is not to pretend that they are sort of an extension of us but that they are their own group with their own issues. We should help them get govt help to tackle the suicide problem, and not on these ridiculous other issues that they constantly focus on like bathroom usage.

  19. Thedrdonna says

    @suzanne, your original comment basically said that only gay and lesbian kids endure “real” bullying, regardless of all that hoopla you just posted. My point was that you were wrong.

  20. Derrick from Philly says

    @ “…and the gay rate plummets when there is greater acceptance. That doesn’t happen with the trans rate.”

    Well, we won’t know that until there is greater acceptance for Transgender folks.

  21. Thedrdonna says

    @Don, I don’t give anyone the right to think about anything. That’s not my purview. I try to give people more information on a subject I happen to know a lot about, usually in a context where people are making baseless assertions. Speaking of which:

    40% of trans people attempt suicide. I’ve never heard of the 1/3 do and 1/3 try thing you posted. As Derrick pointed out, the idea that trans suicide rates don’t drop with greater acceptance is something you made up from whole cloth.

    Regarding post-transition suicide rates, that one study didn’t really go into why trans people have such a high rate, so it’s not really logical to ascribe a reason. Generally speaking, trans people who haven’t transitioned aren’t as readily recognizable as being trans, and thus less likely to be a target for discrimination. If you expect that the high suicide rate is a direct result of the stress caused by a lack of acceptance, then an increase post-transition makes sense.
    And, regarding bathroom bills? Being discriminated against while we are trying to pee, being forced to use a bathroom that doesn’t fit our gender presentation, is exactly the sort of stress that contributes to suicides. It’s ingrained, de jure discrimination, and fighting against those sorts of attitudes is vital to greater trans acceptance.

  22. Suzanne says


    Please don’t tell lies. I never said that “only” LGB kids endure real bullying. I said that they endure real bullying, and contrasted that with this girl’s complaints about FB comments.

    I question why a gay blog focuses not on the real bullying experienced by gay youth, but on a hyped up story concerning a self-identified heterosexual girl, particularly when this same blog has not covered various other real bullying incidents that have been visited upon straight girls in recent months, one of which led to a suicide.

  23. Suzanne says

    I think you are very good at pretending. About a lot of things. But there’s no need for any ambiguity. Anyone can go back and read exactly what I said.

    It is too bad you have nothing to say when a gay or lesbian kid is bullied and it is reported here. You clearly only care about your Ts and, like so many trans activists, think of LGBs as a resource to be exploited.

  24. Thedrdonna says

    I wouldn’t have mentioned things here either if people weren’t misrepresenting the truth. Let me unequivocally state: no person deserves to be harassed or bullied based on their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. Did you specifically condemn condemn bullying on each story about it here? If no, why not? And why does the fact that this is a trans kid make you think it’s ok for you to act like cyber-bullying is no big deal?

  25. topdawg says

    This is a cry for help. Someone get her to a counselor STAT. Those of you going on about how she needs to get over this or saying things like people other than the bullies are at fault get over yourselves. Everyone’s thrilled you made it through adolescence. Not everyone does. If she doesn’t get help, she may be one who does not.

  26. kodiak says

    Darling, I know it’s barely official, but you are a QUEEN now, never forget that. You must take pity on your lowly subjects and look upon them as the small children needing guidance that they are. And you must give them that guidance. It’s not easy being Queen, there is so much work to be done! Surround yourself with trusted advisors and go forth and reign in your subjects admiration and love.

  27. Marc says

    Cassidy, if you are reading this, we love you, sweetheart. I’m gay, not transgender, so I can’t totally understand what this must be like for you, but I do know what it’s like to be ridiculed in my own way. Just know there are so many of us who support you and understand what being transgender is. The world is getting better at understanding, but I understand, sometimes it feels like it’s not happening fast enough. My heart goes out to you. And you have my full love and support!

  28. MateoM says


    WTF are you talking about? She has the “full love and support” of an anonymous commenter on a blog? What does that mean? Are you going to wire her money? Are you going to send her an email with your real contact info so that she can call you if she needs help? If not, then she doesn’t really have your “full support” now, does she? She has meaningless drivel posted by a moron.

  29. Derrick from Philly says

    @ MARC,

    just so you’ll know, the above vicious comment was NOT posted by the commentator known as MATEOM. He would never say anything so nasty about your very thoughtful and humane message to Cassidy.

    Andy, this is getting ridiculous.

  30. Carlsson says

    I wonder how many of “her” classmates voted for as a joke and just to “rebel” against the adults.

    Why are “her” parents allowing “her” to post public videos online for everyone to see? Why does she have a public facebook page? Bad parenting all around.

  31. FFS says

    Chin up, Cassidy. The backlash does not change the fact that who you are and what you’ve accomplished are both awesome!

    I think it’s brave that she’s put herself out there, again. Showing hateful a-holes the effect their words have on the emotional and vulnerable children they’re actually talking about despite the picture of “those people” they have in their head when they spew their malicious filth being abstract and amorphous could be every bit as much if not more influential towards effecting change than her win.

    Stay strong, girl! There are plenty of us who aren’t a-holes and we’re rooting for you.

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