1. Ready says

    The Screamer and the Hunter/Gatherer should be banned from every gym in the nation. But I find the Don’t Know What I’m Doing Guy is good for comic relief.

  2. QJ201 says

    The straight dudes in my gym are MUCH hotter. And while I am the

    Gay version:
    Locker Room Lingerer (or Troll) = Never seems to be working out but always in the steam room

    Commando Guy:
    Has large penis. Does not wear underwear under gym shorts. Enjoy my show.

    Guys who wear full body lycra workout gear

    Pec Guy:
    No arms, no legs, but huge melon pecs!

    All Muscle Guy:
    With teeny peeny

  3. Tristram says

    @QJ201 totally

    I’d like to add:

    – Body hair guy: spends hours in the gym improving his body but can’t wax his back once in a while?

    – Fat guy: who constantly does weights but should be hitting the treadmill

    – Tanorexic: followers of tan mom

    – body beautiful: don’t use right technique or even put in that much effort but easily add muscle and lose fat: I hate you all!

    I’m done now

  4. Rad says

    Having worked in a gym for many years, I can relate to all of it! Marvelous!

    The left out the CYBOTS – The people who insist of sitting on equipment to intently carry on text conversations, generally with the person two machines down.

  5. jersey says

    The guy who puts his water bottle on the seat of the machine you want to use, wtf is up with that?

    I will cop to wanting to be the selfie guy but I can never follow thru. Love the look of arms just after a great workout.

  6. Mark says

    I am a cyclist and while I do all my workouts at home, I am very guilty of being “the singer”. I will put my bike on the trainer, put on a video and my Ipod, and spin for an hour or 2, with frequent outbursts of scatter song lyrics when I feel inspired. My partner, who is a musician, has put up with this for years.

  7. Rrhain says

    @JERSEY: That usually means they’re supersetting and are claiming the machine. If done inappropriately, this is a variation of the Hunter-Gatherer who keeps all the weights for himself.

  8. jamal49 says

    I work out at home, an hour each day except Sundays. A variety of yoga, Xiser, Fitness Quest, etc. Don’t need a damned gym. A waste of time and money and an incubator of skin diseases, among other things.

  9. Derrick from Philly says

    @ “I work out at home, an hour each day except Sundays”

    Why don’t you work out on Sundays, JAMAL49? Is it because of Sunday church services?

    LOL, I couldn’t help it, JAMAL. I know what your feelings are about organized religion. But you opened the door for that one.

    Bless you, darling…I mean, good luck you!

  10. MaddM@ says

    what about-
    The bird man- Big upper, twig legs. Has been missing legs day forever.

    there should also be something like “Token gay dude in the aerobics classes of all women” (me)

  11. David says

    I love when people think the sanitizer spray bottles at each station are their personal sanitizer bottles. They take them to their workout spot at the gym, even though there are only two or three bottles per station, thus leaving NO spray bottles for anyone else. They’re at a gym, but too damn lazy to walk over to the bottle area, bring it to their machine or bench, use it, and put it the hell back.

  12. garryo says

    They forgot “Envy-me Guy.” He’s the one who brings his girlfriend-of-the-month to his workouts, and the two of them exchange frequent lip-locks and snuggles between their reps. Meant to drive all the lonely roid-heads insane with jealousy.

    Straight dudes at the gym might be nice to look at, but whoa….most of them are waaaaay dumb.

  13. I wont grow up says

    How about the “I’m totally straight, but spend my entire time staring at the ass of the guy on the stair stepper” guy. Or the “I’m completely straight but spend more time in the locker and shower rooms than is necessary” guy.

  14. DennisParker says

    Loved to read your blog. I would like to suggest you that traffic show most people read blogs on Mondays. So it should encourage blogger to write new write ups over the weekend primarily

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