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Uganda's First Lady Says Humans Shouldn't Debate Homosexuality Because Cows


During a speech praising her country’s horrendous “Kill The Gays” law, Uganda’s First Lady Janet Museveni (pictured with cow above) offered a Chinese riddle of sorts for why we mere mortals shouldn't quibble over the naturalness of homosexuality. Here goes:

“If cows did not practice homosexuality, how could we, the human beings, start arguing over homosexuality?”

We literally have no idea what the frug that means. It’s like she’s been taking speech lessons from Sarah Palin. Perhaps the American “experts” that John Kerry is sending to Uganda can decode it for us?

By the way, cows can totally be gay. The picture above is total proof.

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  1. OK, I think she was talking to the fundamentalist Christians. They must have their own language because I can't understand what the she was saying.

    Maybe Rick can interpret it.

    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Mar 20, 2014 1:54:56 PM

  2. She obviously identifies strongly with cows.

    Posted by: Bubba | Mar 20, 2014 1:57:43 PM

  3. Homosexual behavior has been observed in several hundred animal species.

    Posted by: Mike | Mar 20, 2014 1:59:45 PM

  4. Speaking of cows...have you seen a full length photo of First Lady Janet Museveni!

    Posted by: Baker | Mar 20, 2014 2:00:05 PM

  5. She looka like a man.

    Posted by: Miss Kwon | Mar 20, 2014 2:00:30 PM

  6. not very educated is she??? sad, sad, and pathetic woman...

    Posted by: disgusted american | Mar 20, 2014 2:06:53 PM

  7. Cows don't use the internet either, so why should we?

    Posted by: La vache! | Mar 20, 2014 2:08:19 PM

  8. Cows also don't practice religion (as far as I know).

    Posted by: Latebrosus | Mar 20, 2014 2:08:41 PM

  9. Cows don't wear clothes.

    Cows don't drive cars or fly airplanes.

    Cows don't use the Internet.

    Wow, we are doing so many things we shouldn't because cows.

    Posted by: CPT_Doom | Mar 20, 2014 2:09:09 PM

  10. Is Uganda considered a Third World country? Maybe more like Out of This World. She is a monumentally ignorant woman.

    Posted by: Jack M | Mar 20, 2014 2:09:41 PM

  11. As far as I can guess, traditional African culture is completely bound up with cows: wealth, status, dowries, village life, social systems, all connected with owning herds of cattle.

    it would be similar to an idiot American making an analogy with cars.

    Posted by: Charlie | Mar 20, 2014 2:21:36 PM

  12. Both my father and my brother told me they were convinced that homosexuality was "natural" because they'd seen the bulls in the fields doing each other many times. Lots of animals go gay.

    Posted by: slappy | Mar 20, 2014 2:22:05 PM

  13. She also spouts off about likes this:

    In God's word, homosexuality attracts a curse, but now people are engaging in it and saying they are created that way. It is for money The devil is stoking fires to destroy our nation and those taking advantage are doing so because our people are poor," Janet Museveni said (also don't forget that WIKILEAKS: ¨According to a newly released US diplomatic cable, the wife of the President of Uganda, Janet Musceveni, "is ultimately behind" the Anti-Homosexuality (AHB, 'Kill gays') Bill.

    This is one greedy, stupid and dangerous fool (she wants to be president after her husbands third term as dictator is up President Janet-Idi Amin?

    Posted by: Leonardo Ricardo | Mar 20, 2014 2:48:36 PM

  14. there are over 480 different species that practice homosexuality. (so it is completely natural) Only one that practices homophobia

    Posted by: Jaysonn | Mar 20, 2014 2:50:03 PM

  15. I know what she says isn't true, but is her argument really that humans shouldn't do anything cows don't do? Does she realize that cows also can't open doors and walk upright?

    Posted by: Daniel | Mar 20, 2014 2:55:35 PM

  16. Ah Africa.... the real Einsteins! Such a continent of intellectual power!

    Maybe given another million years of evolution, do you think they would have been able to come up with the bicycle? Vaccines? Telephones? Computers? Cars? the Wheel?
    Very doubtful!

    Posted by: Dan Cobb | Mar 20, 2014 3:07:49 PM

  17. Uganda has been slaughtering its people for 40 or more years. It's not really known for its Ivy League schools is it.

    Posted by: Mike | Mar 20, 2014 3:15:52 PM

  18. Actually Dan Cobb, Africans came up with all the inventions you cite. We are all, at the core, Africans, and all of us who are not directly from that Continent are descended from a small (perhaps as few as 200) Africans who left Africa some 70,000 years ago.

    The bigotry being expressed by this woman is not African in nature, and neither is her argument. The same anti-gay hatemongers who have made our lives miserable for decades have used the same argument time and again and it is those people who have exported their bigotry and hate to Africa.

    Posted by: CPT_Doom | Mar 20, 2014 3:16:08 PM

  19. Dan Cobb, aka Rick with a last name and more blatantly racist comments. Same troll, but in a different flavor.

    Posted by: Tyler | Mar 20, 2014 3:17:19 PM

  20. Am I the only one who thinks Janet Museveni looks like a drag king?

    Posted by: Daniel Berry, NYC | Mar 20, 2014 3:23:50 PM

  21. Comments like hers make one wonder if women raised in anti-women cultures such as Africa, India and Asia are just really stupid and ignorant of the world around them or if they even have the ability to form their own independent thoughts. It seems that they just parrot what their husband and or their fake god says? She really is quite stupid and unenlightened being the most powerful woman in the country but can't expect much from subhuman Africa now can we?

    Posted by: SFshawn | Mar 20, 2014 3:39:57 PM

  22. You know, I'm glad I was not alone in the thoughts mentioned here. (for the most part.) The title of the blog-post? Funny.

    The picture of the first lady? NOT the most flattering picture I'm sure. @Daniel Berry, NYC; THANK YOU. I was thinking those exact thoughts.

    That said, yes. Because cows are humans. PERFECT. SENSE. DONE. PRINT IT. NO MORE QUESTIONS.

    Posted by: Cocoa | Mar 20, 2014 4:02:33 PM


    Posted by: Jae | Mar 20, 2014 4:19:39 PM

  24. @ "She really is quite stupid and unenlightened being the most powerful woman in the country but can't expect much from subhuman Africa now can we?"

    Subhuman? You mean African Gay activists, and allies of Gay African activists?


    Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Mar 20, 2014 4:25:42 PM

  25. In that picture she looks like a man and what do cows have to do with attacks on basic human rights?

    Posted by: jarago | Mar 20, 2014 5:32:27 PM

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