1. Mike says

    Just a friendly reminder. The plural of anecdote is not data. These are four men’s stories, not data on a representative sample of HIV-negative men, as the title implies, or even HIV-negative gay men.

  2. kennedy says

    Parts of what these guys said certainly spoke to me. I do find it inordinately difficult to let go of my fear of HIV; while recognizing it’s illogical, I also think Poz guys do lie and I always want to ask people how exactly they became positive.

  3. Steve Talbert says

    It is not illogical to ‘fear’ HIV. It’s a condition you do not want. But your fear should be channeled into knowledgeable concern instead of develop into paranoia. People should find out about levels of safety and what they are comfortable with. Some guys always use condoms with anal but don’t with oral..although you can get other STDs, some guys always use condoms with oral too. Life is full of peril, just be realistic about it.

  4. northoftheborderguy says

    how about all the men who “think” they’re negative. sero-sorting wont work for you in those cases. Frankly, you’re safer having sex with an HIV positive person who is undetectable and takes their medications on a regular basis, than with someone who thinks they’re negative. Remember too that HIV positive people have their blood work monitored regularly and thus are likely to be healthier and free of other sti’s than those that dont.

  5. pete n sfo says

    To be honest, I have sex w/ poz guys, but I don’t know if I’d get into a relationship w/ a poz guy again. I enjoy having unprotected sex, after testing and after setting some ground rules.

    Even so, use of condoms is still the best way to go.

    And continued regular testing.

  6. says

    I really appreciate you featuring this video and understanding the importance of allowing negative guys the space to share their honest opinions.

    And hey! I made TOWLEROAD! I’m calling my mom!

  7. Jack says

    Pete in SFO –

    How did you get to this point in life? Really. You have sex with guys(plural) who are infected with HIV. And this is normal to you?

    I sincerely hope that you are young and that you don’t plan on making this a life-long pattern, because it won’t be a very long life. Strive for stability, love, and connection that endures over time. Stick with an assembly line of Grindr hookups and you are vastly more likely to live a life that is shorter and more prone to disease and sadness.

  8. Gingrbr says

    I’ve always wondered why people insist that having sex with positive, undetectable people is as safe as a confirmed negative person. If positive men were sexually irresponsible (aka no condoms) when becoming positive, do you really think they will be responsible to take several pills everyday to remain undetectable? I have my doubts. Frankly, some of these guys seem to have it coming to them.

  9. says

    I just went to the men’s clinic when i was coming out so i could get all the information right from the sources that know what they’re talking about. iv’e dated guys with HIV, and i remain HIV- , i just made the choice to only ever have sex with condoms.

  10. dmarie34264111 says

    my understanding of hiv is that if a hiv positive has sex with another hiv positive they pass their hiv strains to each other and the meds are not protecting them from the new strains.
    would someone with any information on this post it please?