Learn What Would Jesus Buy With Conservative Shopper App

2nd Vote App
The ever-helpful Tony Perkins reminded his followers that the Family Research Council has an app called 2nd Vote that rates companies from 1-5 based on their adherence to traditional conservative values. Companies lose points for supporting gay rights, any liberal policies, and donations to Planned Parenthood, naturally.

Confusingly, companies also lose points for having environmental protection policies in place (Psalm 24:1 - The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof the world and those who dwell therein; Revelations 11:18 - The nations raged, but your wrath came, and the time […] for destroying the destroyers of the earth.) and for banning guns in their establishments (Psalm 11:5 - The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence; Exodus 20:13 - Thou shalt not kill.), so perhaps 2nd Vote's conservative policies aren't just a thin veneer applied over oppressive religous dogma.

The app is presently enjoying stellar ratings on Apple's App Store with enthusiastic reviews from satisfied customers:

"Thank you for helping me to identify which business are willing to stand up against bigotry, misogyny, discrimination and just general ignorance. I am thrilled that this APP has made it so easy to find what businesses to avoid AND pointed out that those that cling to backwards conservative ideals are fewer and further between!" 

"As a bigot, it's very important for me to know where I should spend my money. I like supporting companies that discriminate against minorities, and hold hypocritical views based on the Bible. I am glad to know my dollars aren't going to some gay fascist socialists."

[Image via Joe.My.God.]


  1. Hey Darlin' says

    If it does identify conservative businesses, whether users will use the app to promote or avoid those businesses is up to the end user.

  2. David From Canada says

    People couldn’t care less about these extremist whack-jobs – they’re boring. Stop giving them so much coverage.

  3. HadenoughBS says

    Uh-huh, as was discovered recently in the discrepancy between the percentage of stated American church goers – reporting one’s attendance to a real live pollster (higher %) vs. to an online computer program (lower %) – I’ve my doubts as to how often right wing conservatives do NOT frequent many of these American brands with low conservative ideals’ ratings. Life is difficult enough – even for right wingers – without having to give up some of your favorite products and/or services!

  4. steve talbert says

    So is a 1 in a circle with an arc of blood red the mark of the devil?
    Would a really horrible company to them be a full red circle around a 6?

  5. Lucas H says

    It does seem like this could be a good app, actually… I would use it to find the stores that ranked lower, obviously, but still.

  6. Moz's says

    ironic they have to buy it from apple, a gay friendly / anti gun / pro environment company

  7. DenguyFL says

    How exactly would they be using the app? Google, Apple and Microsoft are all allies. There goes all the operating systems.

  8. anon says

    For those that doubt that the religious right is mostly a mouthpiece for conservative political groups looking for grassroots voter support, this should put your fear to rest. The Nixon “Southern Strategy” was entirely designed to get enough votes to counter Democratic urban political machines but it required that religious organizations adhere to conservative political positions despite any apostasy that might incur. And they gladly did to increase their political influence and gain tremendous wealth.

  9. Geneva says

    As always, I am very appreciative of bigots clearly touting their prejudiced idiotic backward ways, so I would know where NOT to spend my money.

    I appreciate the transparency in bible-thumping hypocrisy.

  10. Raybob says

    It’s a great little app – there’s a reverse sort feature so that you can locate the #1s easily. Their low ratings are our favorite companies! You can also vote to support or not support a company. I made sure to vote my support for as many gay-friendly companies as I could.

    Although it IS hilarious: every technical company and almost every car and computer manufacturer and airline get gay-friendly marks. Don’t know what kind of computing platform the makers of this app are using, or how they’re driving or flying anywhere. Or buying gasoline, or …

  11. Michael says

    Yeah, I’m taking it would be just too ironic and hypocritical of them to list Apple, Microsoft and Google too.