Matthew Dempsey Hub




Matthew Dempsey Breaks Down The Bond Between Women And Gay Men: VIDEO

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If you've ever wondered (or theorized) why gay men and straight women often form such tight bonds, Psychologist Matthew Dempsey is here to provide some insight. In a new video, Dempsey describes how relationships between gay men and straight women can provide healing to all parties involved. While gay men have often been marginalized and treated as less than because they are gay, women often times experience a similar marginalization having grown up in a misogynistic culture. With women looking for acceptance from men and gay men looking for acceptance from the straight world, they are perfectly suited to provide each other with the validation they each desire.

Watch Dempsey break it down, AFTER THE JUMP...

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Matthew Dempsey Spells Out How To Keep Love Alive And When It's Time To Say Goodbye: VIDEO

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Psychologist Matthew Dempsey is back with the final two installments in his video-series on love and relationships. In his latest videos, Dempsey talks about how we can keep love alive in our relationships by opening up the lines of communication and working to make sure that each partner gets his or her needs met. Dempsey stresses that conflict is normal in a relationship and provides a chance to grow and heal.

Dempsey also underscores that breaking up should not necessarily be equated with failure. Given the way we live today and how our lives may lead us to unexpected places, it might not be possible (or beneficial) for one person to be able to accompany and be compatible with us along that entire journey. Dempsey says it best--sometimes you need to say, 

"I love you and thank you and goodbye. Sometimes saying goodbye can actually be the greatest act of love because we're allowing ourselves to get unstuck and the other person to get unstuck so each of us in our own right can welcome in greater fulfillment and love into our lives."

Preach.

Watch the final two episodes, AFTER THE JUMP...

You can also watch Dempsey's other videos on why we love who we do, finding loveshamecomparing and despairing, gays who are judgmental, and the need for validation.

Continue reading "Matthew Dempsey Spells Out How To Keep Love Alive And When It's Time To Say Goodbye: VIDEO " »


Matthew Dempsey Wants You To Find Love: VIDEO

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Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey is back with the second installment in his four-part video series on relationships. Dempsey's previous video looked at why we love who we do while this latest video addresses the question of how to find love in the first place. Dempsey breaks down the importance of investing into relationships as a way of loving yourself. He also addresses the particular struggles in finding love faced by gay men who have often internalized a message that there is something wrong with them or they are somehow broken. 

The doctor is in, AFTER THE JUMP...

You can also check out Dempsey's other videos on shamecomparing and despairing, gays who are judgmental, and the need for validation.

Continue reading "Matthew Dempsey Wants You To Find Love: VIDEO" »


Matthew Dempsey Demystifies The Za Za Zoo And Why We Love Who We Do - VIDEO

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Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey is back with a new four part video series on relationships, the first installation of which focuses on the "nuts and bolts" of the science of attraction. Why exactly are we more attracted to some people and not others? What makes us convinced that so-and-so is our soul-mate? Is it magic? Though the experience of meeting and connecting with someone you feel you're destined to be with may cast a strong and intoxicating spell, psychology more than magic seems to dictate why we love who we do. Dempsey explains:

The reason [for our attraction] is that [that] person is reflecting something back to us. They represent a composite of a number of caregivers in our lives...It's not really a soul-mate situation. In an instant our subconscious is clocking a variety of things about them like their hand movements, their eye contact, the way they breathe, how frequently they blink, their body posture, so many things all at once that says to us, "we know this person." We know this person. There's something very comfortable and familiar about who they are and they also gives us an opportunity to finally be heard and seen and loved in a way that we felt like we didn't have when we were younger so we can finally get our needs met and we can finally heal. 

Of course, meeting who we perceive as being "the one" is never the end of the journey. Dempsey explains the particular pitfalls that can await gay men in both engaging in relationships and in feeling like we should abstain from them:

As gay men because we have that more severe wounding that can happen for us we're then going to be that much more tender, we're going to have a hyper sensitivity to all kinds of things and interactions with our partners and it can just feel like so much more of a risk for us to love. This is an opportunity for us to be able heal for sure but the way in which we go about doing it now being aware of why we're drawn to the person that we are is going to be different. 

Watch the video, AFTER THE JUMP...

If you're interested, check out Dempsey's other videos on shamecomparing and despairing, gays who are judgmental, and the need for validation.

Continue reading "Matthew Dempsey Demystifies The Za Za Zoo And Why We Love Who We Do - VIDEO" »


Matthew Dempsey Would Like You to Take a Stand Against Shame: VIDEO

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Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey is back with a new video about shame and vulnerability. Are these things that you're having issues with?

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

Matt_dempseyDempsey adds this call to action to his video:

If you've taken the time to watch my video you know shame is a common human emotion and can cause great harm to us and our relationships with others if kept bottled up inside. Luckily, shame is also something we can manage and significantly reduce. You don't have to let it rule your life any longer. It's time to take action!

Today, I challenge you to share a difficult story with a friend you trust, post your own video on YouTube about a time you were ashamed, or try the approach that has worked for me and post that picture (you know the one) to your Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram accounts (be sure to include the hashtag #bevulnerable). Join me in taking a stand against shame!

If you're interested, check out Dempsey's other videos on comparing and despairing, gays who are judgmental, and the need for validation.

Continue reading "Matthew Dempsey Would Like You to Take a Stand Against Shame: VIDEO" »


Why Some Gay Men 'Compare and Despair' and What to Do About It: VIDEO

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Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey, whom you may remember from his video discussions of why gay men are so judgmental toward one another and the need for validation, takes a look at the tendency some gay men have to compare themselves to others and be left feeling not good enough, and what can be done about it.

Watch, AFTER THE JUMP...

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