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The Queer Eye Script Scandal

December 7, 2004 by Andy Towle

EXT. PATRICK’S APARTMENT
JAI, CARSON, and Patrick run from the Denali into the house.

INT. PATRICK’S APARTMENT
TED, KYAN and THOM excitedly greet them.

TOUR AND LESSON 1.

THOM gives Patrick a tour of his new digs. The place is amazing. Patrick is speechless. while JAI and CARSON are also very impressed. The smell is gone and it now looks beautiful. The house is now clean, hip, and youthful. THOM shows him things he can do to reduce moisture, and surprise… no more shag carpet. THOM shows Patrick his new air conditioner and de-humidifier system. He explains that an oversized air conditioner can introduce too much moisture into an interior space and actually increase mildew. He will also explain the basics of how humidifiers extract water from the air while filtering and cleaning.

Mildew Lessons: Mildew is a mold that flourishes in spaces that are damp, warm, poorly lit, or where air is not well circulated. In other words, in places exactly like Patrick Mullare’s apartment.

Etcetera, etcetera… Easy to see why the show looks, acts, and feels like a formula, and why most of its audience seems to be bored to crap by it this season.

Today, on Reality Blurred, a story editor on a reality show argues that the script might be one that was created for post-production rather than actual filming. “I shouldn’t, I don’t think, be sneered at for trying to make a living in a cutthroat industry by learning how to build a character arc from footage that was already shot, rather than filmed after I wrote dialogue. Indeed, it is just as hard as churning out an original plot -– we don’t get multiple takes, we can’t design things around our desires, we don’t know what we got or what we missed until weeks after the fact, and yet we can’t hide behind that.”

In any case, I don’t think many people actually think “reality TV” really represents reality. They just want to be entertained. Kressley and most of the cast can definitely entertain at times, but seem stuck running in circles on their Queer Eye Habitrail. And patience with hour-long infomercials appears to be on the wane.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Film and TV

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