• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy

Towleroad Gay News

Gay Blog Towleroad: More than gay news | gay men

  • Travel
  • Sports
  • Law/Justice
  • Celebrities
  • Republicans
  • Madonna
  • Books
  • Men
  • Trans Rights
  • Royals
  • Monkeypox
  • Sophia Bush’s girlfriend ‘proud’ the actress has opened up about coming out as queer
  • Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!
  • Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

Happy One Year Anniversary to Marriage in New York

Ari Ezra Waldman July 25, 2012

BY ARI EZRA WALDMAN

One year ago yesterday, committed gay couples started getting married in New York State. Of course, they had been marrying for years — in Massachusetts, in Europe, or affirming their lifelong commitment in some other way. But, when Governor Cuomo's marriage recognition bill became law and then took effect last year, the dreams of so many gay men and women were realized. Even those of us who are single or otherwise not yet ready to get married felt the importance of the state treating us equally, recognizing our value, and bestowing upon us the honor of full social recognition. 

What have we learned since?

Gay22n-2-webWe've learned that marriage recognition is an economic boon. We've also learned Phyllis Siegel can marry her long time partner, Connie Kopelov (right), and the sun will still rise every morning. And, we've learned that being on the correct side of the marriage debate can make political careers and enhance presidential ambitions.

Today, I would like to discuss two more lasting lessons. First, the successful strategy that worked in New York can be replicated to win most of the marriage recognition contests on the ballot this November. The coalition of Freedom to Marry, the Empire State Pride Agenda, the Human Rights Campaign, Marriage Equality New York, and the Log Cabin Republicans formed a plan that brought in business, civic, and religious leaders together to not only oppose discrimination, but to prove to the majority of the state that marriage recognition for gays was a social good.

Second, the win for marriage in New York — followed by President Obama's vocal support for marriage recognition for gays — has changed the tone, tenor, and substance of the debate. Whereas before Governor Cuomo's bill became law, conservatives wore their hatred of gays as a badge of honor, defining their conservatism and proving their holier-than-thou bona fides, these days, opposition to gays in love or gays in the military or gay scout leaders is something to keep quiet, to deemphasize in public, and to hope no one asks about.

CONTINUED, AFTER THE JUMP…

After speaking with some folks involved in the marriage debate in New York State, including lobbyists, leaders and staffers at the coalition of gay rights groups, and businesspersons who came out in favor of marriage recognition, the strategy for victory seemed clear: Leverage a large, multifaceted, bipartisan group of influential stakeholders to show that marriage recognition is not a gay rights revolution, but a manifestation of American values. Republican donors and gay Republican activists, whose politics more aligned with New York Republicans than, say, their Missouri counterparts, put their money and feet on the ground in upstate Republican districts. Business leaders argued that the lack of marriage recognition prevents them from treating their gay employees equally, threatening a loss of talent to Connecticut, New Hampshire, or Massachusetts. And, without the Democratic Party and Governor Cuomo's principled leadership, the bill never would have come to the floor.

It seems to me that we can replicate this strategy in Maine, Minnesota, and Washington. All three states have active Republican parties that are more moderate than their national cousins, giving Log Cabiners and other gay Republicans an opening. All three states have powerful business communities that are willing to spend time, money, and good will on the side of marriage recognition. And, in Minnesota and Washington, the Democratic Party machinery is powerful (and Maine's liberal independent streak may obviate the need for strong Democratic leadership). New York's marriage recognition quest may have gone through the legislature and the fights in Maine, Minnesota, and Washington are at the ballot; but, the successful strategy can remain similar.

Some strategists are concerned about Maryland, where the business community is not as large as in some other states, where liberal Republicans are a mess, where the gay marriage group has failed to raise as much money as their friends in other states, and where black churches are impossibly strong cultural forces. Still, Governor Martin O'Malley is a strong leader who has committed himself to the marriage recognition cause and, as his Baltimore mayoral and gubernatorial elections have shown, is not to be underestimated.

On a grand scale, the successful New York strategy may be a blueprint for future success. But, the tenor of the debate has also changed, and that may be the most lasting contribution of a law that more than doubled the number of persons that live under full marriage rights.

Legitimization of marriage for gay persons — first by state courts, then by state legislatures, then by President Barack Obama, and soon by state-wide voters — marginalizes the antiquated homophobia of the opposition. When the Boy Scouts discriminated against James Dale in the 1990s, no one other than Lambda Legal came to his rescue. Today, heterosexual former scouts, current board members, and business leaders are cutting ties to the Scouts as they continue to discriminate. When Chic-Fil-A decided that its terrible burgers should be the arm of its version of God's will, only Rush Limbaugh and Michelle Bachmann came to its side. And, Representative Bachmann is in the midst of being denounced by even conservative Republicans for being particularly hateful. Now, there are rainbow Oreo cookies, Pride parties at the Pentagon, Republicans in the House of Representative coming out in favor of marriage recognition, 33 Senate co-sponsors of the bill to repeal the odious Defense of Marriage Act, and celebrities finally feeling comfortable enough to come out publicly as gay. Hearts and minds are changing.

New York's marriage recognition law helped make that happen. 

***

Ari Ezra Waldman teaches at Brooklyn Law School and is concurrently getting his PhD at Columbia University in New York City. He is a 2002 graduate of Harvard College and a 2005 graduate of Harvard Law School. His research focuses on technology, privacy, speech, and gay rights. Ari will be writing weekly posts on law and various LGBT issues. 

Follow Ari on Twitter at @ariezrawaldman.

Topics: Celebrities, Coming Out, News More Posts About: Ari Ezra Waldman, gay marriage, Law - Gay, LGBT, News

Related Posts
  • Former Roommate Indicted For Murder Of Florida LGBTQ Activist Jorge Diaz-Johnston, One of the Public Faces In State Fight For Marriage Equality
  • Russia Blocks Facebook, Accusing it of Restricting Access to Russian Media;
  • Survivor Benefits Payments For Same-Sex Partners Are Being Paid Under Biden, But Many Don’t Even Know They Qualify
  • Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

    Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Mel B will “always be open” when it comes to her sexuality. The Spice Girls singer, 48, who reunited with her bandmates including the group's ex-singer Victoria Beckham for the fashion …Read More »
  • Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

    Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Megan Thee Stallion is being sued for allegedly creating a hostile work environment and forcing her cameraman to watch her having lesbian sex. The 29-year-old ‘Savage' rapper faces the salacious claims …Read More »
  • Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

    Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Jonathan Bennett's life was “changed forever” by his role in ‘Mean Girls'. The 42-year-old actor starred as heartthrob Aaron Samuels in the 2004 cult classic – which followed Lindsay Lohan, Rachel …Read More »
  • Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

    Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

    Published by BANG Showbiz English Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass a gift basket after he came out as gay. The 44-year-old NSYNC star revealed the legendary singer showed his support when Lance decided to reveal …Read More »
Previous Post: « Cinderfella, A Gay Equality Fairy Tale Pop Musical: VIDEO
Next Post: Chick-fil-a Busted Using Fake Facebook Persona to Do Damage Control? »

Primary Sidebar

Most Recent

  • Sophia Bush’s girlfriend ‘proud’ the actress has opened up about coming out as queer

    Sophia Bush’s girlfriend ‘proud’ the actress has opened up about coming out as queer

  • Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

    Mel B declares she’ll ‘always be open’ when it comes to her sexuality!

  • Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

    Megan Thee Stallion being sued for ‘forcing cameraman watch her having lesbian sex!’

  • Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

    Mean Girls star Jonathan Bennett recalls the moment his life ‘changed forever’

  • Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

    Sir Elton John sent Lance Bass gift basket to celebrate coming out

  • Relationship status influences heterosexual women’s sexual prejudice towards lesbians

    Relationship status influences heterosexual women’s sexual prejudice towards lesbians

  • JoJo Siwa had a challenge transitioning to new grown-up image

    JoJo Siwa had a challenge transitioning to new grown-up image

  • Liz Hurley defends lesbian sex scene in new movie that was directed by her son

    Liz Hurley defends lesbian sex scene in new movie that was directed by her son

Partner Links

  • Morning Man Classic: Ricky Nelson!
    Ricky Nelson, one of the best looking men and most talented […]
  • Intel Chief Gabbard Failed Basic Cybersecurity Protocol For Years
    Once again, Wired did the digging and got the scoop about […]
  • On the Rag, Vol. 856
     This week's rag 'n' mag roundup features Sergio Fernandez, Kevin Fernandez, […]
  • Our Favorite Good News Story Of The Day: Do You Have A Flag?
    To work around the fuckery of the anti-DEI hysteria, in response […]
  • King Charles has left Princess Diana’s childhood home, Park House, to disrepair & rot
    For the first years of Princess Diana’s life, her father was […]

Most Commented

Social

Twitter @tlrd | Facebook | Instagram @tlrd

About

  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy
[towleroadmr] [towleroadtn]

Footer

Ptown Hacks 2018

Read

  • Travel
  • Film
  • Law – LGBT Rights
  • Columns
  • Specials

About

  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • About Towleroad
  • Towleroad on Social Media
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 · Log in

×
×