Brand Beckham Continues Quest for World Domination


David and Victoria Beckham, in two separate ad campaigns occupy two of Tokyo’s prominent skyscrapers, Victoria appearing to gaze wantonly across Omotesando Crossing toward her husband in his Emporio Armani briefs.


Meanwhile, David Beckham in the flesh has planted himself in Natal, Brazil, where he arrived yesterday, wearing none other than a Marc Jacobs T-shirt featuring his naked wife. He’s there to announce plans for his third soccer academy.


It wasn’t long before he gave them the look they really wanted, however, and revealed that he has a new tattoo: “The intricate new star studded design which extends the length of his left forearm is wrapped around an existing Hindi inscription of wife Victoria’s name.”



  1. the queen says

    oh honey with that big box of his he can dominate me any old time, straddling me and pressing his bulging jock against my face as i inhale the divine musky male aroma of his marvelous crotch… oooooooo, pass the poppers, mary…

  2. ZWBush says

    Thats the standard for beauty? Posh Spice looks like a crack whore with Lasic and Collagen. Yuck!

  3. Derrick from Philly says

    THE QUEEN, Sis, you oughtta’ write Erotica. I started to visualize Beckam’s muscular thighs, buns and private parts, but I smelled Irish Spring–thank God.

    He isn’t pretty, he isn’t handsome, but he’s got that extra somethin’. Maybe it’s a “queen/rough trade” thaing.

  4. Dom says

    How totally useless! Another manufactured star of a sport that has no support in this country whatsoever. If he had not married a Spice Girl and was not attractive to gay men his fame would be non-existant. Mark my words, within one year you won’t even remember who he was, except for that fabulous box he shoes at any opportunity. But there are a lot of fabulous boxes around. He is the latest version of the Atkins Diet. Remember how THAT disappeared from the face of the earth?

  5. ggreen says

    Some people have such low self-esteem they think they are best friends with every no talent that appears on TV. They also feel compelled to tell any and all that they would gladly debase themselves to have sex with this or that no talent. The Beckhams and Paris Hilton seem to be at the top of the list.

  6. Derrick from Philly says

    “…are we that starved?”

    “…low self-esteem…”

    “…debase themselves…”

    These are the fun threads/topics. We’re supposed to be laughing, or atleast smirking when discussing these topics. Damn.

    Some people need to stick some lubricant up there and let loose!

  7. crispy says

    DOM: As a huge fan of American soccer, before and after David Beckham moved here, let me be the first to say… Go fuck yourself. You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

  8. PacHts says

    David Beckham is one of the hottest athletes, physically and professionally, of all times. Soccer requires natural athleticism and Becker’s move to the US has been good for the game.